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The Golden Gifs

Did I watch the Golden Globes? Are you kidding, that’s what recappers are for! But I did do a roundup of the best Golden Globes themed GIFs (hard G, y’all) and pick out the biggest loser, fashion-wise, so you’re welcome.

If, like me, you missed the whole thing, watch this video that recaps it in ninety seconds flat. Like me.

Let’s start with respected theatre and motion picture actress Emma Thompson seen here demonstrating her classical RADA training in how to make an unforgettable entrance.

Also making a memorable entrance was Elisabeth Moss on the ManiCam (the ManiCam is a thing? Jesus, take the wheel).

Elisabeth Moss and the ManiCam

Elisabeth Moss and the ManiCam

The evening’s theme was “Negging,” flawlessly demonstrated here by my boy Bono.

Bono No Go

Bono No Go

Everybody’s least favorite heiress (after Paris Hilton) jumped on the negging trend; it will no doubt form the centerpiece of an episode of Girls in the near future.

Leah Don't Play That Way

Leah Don’t Play That Way

Other celebs to leap aboard the negging juggernaut included:

Tommy Lee Jones

Protip: he's really not into you

Protip: he’s really not into you

and the normally-sunny Julia Louis Dreyfuss

JLewDry and ReeWi

JLewDry and ReeWi

as well as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, the hosts.

Emma Watson knows it's coming

Emma Watson knows it’s coming

It's Mean Girls Live!

It’s Mean Girls Live!

was it good for you too, Emma Watson?

was it good for you too, Emma Watson?

Satisfying. In fact, negging on Taylor was a sub-plot all night. That spirit is embodied here in Everyone’s New Favorite Spunky Blonde, Jennifer Lawrence.

Jlaw vs TaySwi

Jlaw vs TaySwi

Negging on JLaw’s couture Dior dress was a Thing as well, although it was not a GIF. Still, amusing and accurate.

We don't Love it and yes I know that's badminton not tennis. Shut up.

We don’t Love it and yes I know that’s badminton not tennis. Shut up.

The World’s Most Perfect Person negged her own shoes, and they were Louboutins, and went on to neg the entire process of awards-presentation, but of course she did it flawlessly!

Emma

Emma


Emma  is Telling You Things

Emma is Telling You Things


Emma  has her priorities straight

Emma has her priorities straight


Emma wants a refill

Emma wants a refill

And it all ended happily ever after.

Amy and Bono sitting in a tree

Amy and Bono sitting in a tree

Unless your name is Ali Hewson, of course.

Net Zero

Jlaw Dior net zero

Jlaw Dior net zero

It must be confessed, and that by me, that I have not been following the Hunger Games: not read the books, not seen the movies. And yet I am somewhat surprised to see the delightful and talented Jennifer Lawrence here at the premiere of the sequel, wearing what appears to be an Esther Williams swimming costume sheathed in a cover-up made of designer screen door netting. Is there a part of this movie where she dives deep and does duel with fearsome Grindylows to win for the greater glory of Griffindor?

Okay, no, wait. Don’t tell me. I’m liking this. Once I can figure out how to work in an 80’s era Patrick Duffy, I’m good with this. Don’t burst my bubble!

Mister Lawrence for Miss Dior

Jennifer Lawrence is just thrilled to be here

Jennifer Lawrence is just thrilled to be here

And here we have the lovely and talented Jennifer Lawrence, appearing for Miss Dior the fragrance, which is delicate, classic, young, and probably the scent your grandmother wore the night she lost her virginity (if she wasn’t the “Charlie” class). The House of Dior is one of the greatest design houses and is currently having a wonderful year both in terms of design and in terms of PR, having hung on to the beautiful and fragrant Natalie Portman and now snagged the hottest young woman in Hollywood to represent their most youth-appropriate fragrance.

So it is a mystery to me why they’ve done her up like a very expensive and sweaty butch barfly at last call, but they have. What is more heinous still is having the brass to release this photo in the US with a crappy crop job just to cut out the cigarette. If you’re going to go to such lengths to make something acceptable to the American market, do not simultaneously lower the quality by an order of magnitude, because we can, like, tell. It’s condescending, and it’s not as if it can’t be done well: the French version of Emma Watson’s Tresor Midnight Rose commercial had a cigarette in it; the American did not, but you don’t miss it and there is no visible hole where it was. If we’re going to have censorship in the name of bodily purity, let it at least be done well. At seventy bucks a bottle, it’s not like they can’t afford to pay someone competent.

Miss Dior