After a heated bout of caption competition, we do have a winner on our hands:

Jeff Says:
April 25th, 2010 at 5:42 pm

Nubbins thinks, “She’s embarrassed? I’m not the one wearing THAT dress.”

Congrats and imaginary swag to our first time winner Jeff. For his virtual trophy, let me present the icy-coolOakley Gascan shades, Ducati Special Edition. Not only are they the hottest brand on two wheels and the highest-quality view on two lenses, but their superfantastic iridium lenses very likely possess the super-power of blocking out overdressed divas!

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Sure, Cusack, you can try to date younger, but it won’t do you any good. Dude, you are SO about to be shot down. The petite costar here demonstrates that you’re never too young to master the stink-eye.

Glee for Yu and Yu for Glee? (TrueSlant)

Make it official! (TheManolo)

The War on Boobies! (ManoloForTheBigGirls)

Shrekalikes! (TeenyManolo)

Balls! (ManoloForTheBrides)

Kinkier than a Snuggie (ManoloHome)

Justin Bieber nipple slip! (Lolebrity)

Courtney not Loved by Gwen Stefani (AgentBedhead)

Sandra Bullock stealth baby (AmyGrindhouse)

Jessica Alba is handsy (BusyBeeBlogger)

Don’t worry, Rielle, everybody else does (CeleBitchy)

Gleecap (CelebrityBeehive)

Randy Quaid avoids stay at government-run “hotel” (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Lame duck quacks (CelebritySmack)

Grandma does the View (CojoStyle)

Matt Damon breeds! (DailyStab)

NOT one of Gayle King’s favorite things (Gawker)

Drunk and high is no way to go through life but WAITAMINIT ALEXANDER MCQUEEN (EvilBeet)

If Jack and Jackie were still around, this would have killed them off (HaveUHeard)

John Cleese is not an ATM (INeedMyFix)

Heidi Klum is NOT a freak (JustJared)

Well, perhaps not Roman Polanski (MovieLine)

RPattz is back in town (UKPopSugar)

Alex O’Loughlin remains perfectly still, terrified lest that thing on Jennifer Lopez’s head become angered and pour forth a swarm of stinging insects.

Farther down the red carpet, it appears that Kerry Katona needs to pee.

The formal jumpsuit: never a good idea when liquids may be consumed.

You know what to do, so do it in the comments section to Jennifer Lopez and Nubbins here:

Obviously VERY carefully wrapped, that is. I’d hate to get that Postage Due.

I want Daphne Guinness’ Alexander McQueen outfit, and the invisible sword that presumably goes with it. And a moderately-sized vat of gin, STAT; this is a medical emergency. We lost to the US in an Olympic hockey game for the first time since 1960, and all of Canada is in bed, drunk and sobbing and holding on to it’s little Troll doll for dear life; all of Canada except me. Someone has to blog this pain away. I am in no mood to be trifled with, except perhaps by Hugh Jackman, and he should wear body armour just to be safe.

Alfred Hitchcock’s ultimate nightmare (Lolebrity)

Robert Pattinson is greased and ready! (AgentBedhead)

Jessica Simpson gets her mask on (AmyGrindhouse)

Jude Law, swordsman (BusyBeeBlogger)

Travis Barker’s boxing match aborted (CelebritySmack)

JLo misses hat trick (CeleBitchy)

Bag a king! (True/Slant)

Conan hits the road (DailyStab)

Dancesport according to Dita (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Hilary Duff teams with NHL Player (BricksAndStones)

Kate Moss, suited for action (DanasDirt)

Bigots! On! Ice! (Gawker)

Ice escapades with Johnny Weir (DListed)

Xtream Martial Arts Birthday Party? (EvilBeet)

The Champions! (INeedMyFix)

Ken Paves wins the Snatch and Grab (SeriouslyOMG)

The pairs event (UKPopSugar)

And nowhere to put it if she did!

PS. Jen, hon, we can see the butt gusset seams below the waist. Haven’t your people heard of lycra?

In the fashion world, it’s normal for a trend to start on the street and then be co-opted by couturiers, whence it makes its way to the backs of seemingly every two-bit chorine who ever got a seatwarming gig at the Oscars.

How hopelessly Twentieth Century!

These days the trend train chugs along thusly:

Possibly-Washed-Up Figure Skaters

Possibly-Washed-Up Singer/Actresses

Possibly-Flash-In-The-Pan-TransexualsPerformance-Artists