What kind of callous person abandons a lady with a twisted ankle, leaving her with nothing more than a sweat rag to fend off the hungry paparazzi! Better take a seat and make yourself comfortable love, because it doesn’t look like he’ll be back anytime soon.
Blind-or-maybe-just-nearsighted Item: Jason Lewis’s stinky ex (AgentBedhead)
Christina Ricci cat iz disapprovin (Lolebrity)
George Clooney is a free man! (CelebritySmack)
Woody Harrelson, recreational hunger striker (HolyMoly)
David Banda now officially belongs to Madonna (DListed)
Kim Cattrall is ready for a SATC rematch sequel! (ImNotObsessed)
Bale’s tale of batshiat batsuit costume claustrophobia (DailyStab)
Rachel Ray, terrorist (HollywoodBackwash)
Dad of the Year KFed loses one of the brood at Disneyland (HollyWire)
Mariah Carey pitches…I always thought she was more of a catcher? (CandyKirby)
Gary Dourdan admits guilt (POTP)
Celebrity tattoo horror show (Defamer)
Not just pretzels: President Bush’s history of substance abuse? (Gawker)
Ashlee (Simpson-)Wentz is sperminated (EvilBeet)
Jessica Biel is still prettier than you (Websters)
Amy Winehouse’s babysitter fired for crack, her lyrics being studied at Cambridge. You know. The usual (UKPopSugar)
Is Kate Hudson dating for revenge? (CeleBitchy)
And the people are…
Catherine Zeta-Jones messy, still hotter than anyone you know (DanasDirt)
Trista Sutter, celebrity mom, self-hating whale (TeenyManolo)
Pete Doherty dumps Irina Lazareanu, targets Kate Moss (TheRadReport)
Scarlett Johansson gives away body parts to her men (CelebWarship)
Amy Winehouse won’t get sloshed before concerts, unlike the audience (WendyWayrad)
Katie Holmes, bastard spawn of Tinkerbell and Godzilla (GoFugYourself)
Ashley Olsen’s Donald Duck impression (ImNotObsessed)
Owen Wilson interview goes live at the witching hour (EvilBeet)
Cindy Crawford, serial sellout (DerekHail)
Natalie Portman, nude no more! (DailyStab)
Renee Zellweger rocks the inpatient look (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)
Britney Spears carrys drugs in her purse (HollywoodBackwash)
Japan makes Posh Spice smile (Glosslip)
Jessica Biel pulls a Britney Spears move, attacks with brolly (CelebSlam)
Keanu Reeves, 43, has girlfriend, 20 (GabbyBabble)
Borat sued for making etiquette expert look uptight. Whodathunkit? (HolyCandy)
Britney’s hit and run charge dismissed, DWL sticks (PopOnThePop)
Beyonce is your fat aunt (Fatback)
The Unsexiest Women: the blowback (2BlogOrNot2Blog)
Paris Hilton not to molest Rwanda just yet (Oscar Valdez)
Willie Nelson’s celebrity tractor race (Stillisstillmoving)
If a sex doll could sing, it would sound like this (MrTabloid)
Celebrity houses in Malibu wildfire danger (I’mNotObsessed)
Nicole Kidman, fattie (HolyMoly)
Kate Moss, fattie (TheSkinnyWebsite)
Hayden Panettiere, fattie (CelebSlam)
Britney Spears, fattie (TheMeatScale)
Paris Hilton, popsicle (AgentBedhead)
Zac Efron, cutie (JustJared)
Jessica Biel, Martian (CelebritySmack)
Britney Spears, bikini-buff (DailyStab)
Ellen DeGeneris, serial dog regifter (Yeeeah)
Jake Gyllenhaal, toilet connoisseur (BricksAndStones)
Anderson Cooper, built (LARagMag)
Marie Osmond, unconscious (Defamer)
Kirstie Alley, cheater (CelebrityBabylon)
Jennifer Hudson, bridesmaid (GoFugYourself)
Bo Duke, hunk(HolyCandy)
Tyra Banks, fierce (YoungBlackAndFabulous)
Dumbledore, gay (Popwatch)
Demi Moore’s 2000 pounds of silicone (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Jessica Biel is womanhandled (HolyCandy)
Mischa Barton shows her Sapphic side, too (DailyStab)
Britney loses visitation rights (TMZ)
Owen Wilson off the smack, on the Patron Silver (CelebritySmack)
Lindsay’s got a ring on her finger! (EvilBeet)
RIP Deborah Kerr: An Actress to Remember (GabbyBabble)
Norwegian wouldn’t: Amy Winehouse arrested in Bergen (HolyMoly)
The Michael Jackson/Teri Hatcher convertible Halloween mask (Defamer)
Joely Richardson makes Karen Carpenter look chubby (DailyMail)
Uma Thurman steals Britney’s look (HollywoodTuna)
Ben Affleck is gone, baby, gone (Mollygood)
Celebrity Moms on Parade: Jennifer Garner, Katie Holmes, Angelina Jolie, Julianne Moore, Maggie Gyllenhaal (yes, that’s her!!) and Kate Winslet (I’mNotObsessed)
Alice Evans in costume as The Widow Cobain (GoFugYourself)
David Beckham is ready to play the field (ASocialite’sLife)
Last remaining Rat Packer packs it in (WOWReport)
