Ayyyy!

What’s this I hear about a four-day weekend? Outrageous rumours!

Steve Jobs sez: OBITUATE DIFFERENT! (Lolebrity)

The weirdest Japfro you’ll ever see! (CelebuWreck)

Face it: Michael Jackson is 50 (PopEater)

Pamela Anderson is Botox-free (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Caligula’s horse speaks! (DailyMail)

Tricia Yearwood has instant karma (CelebrityDirt)

When Canadians Attack! Jessica Simpson! (Websters)

The Mandala of Madge’s vadge (CityRag)

Ewan McGregor and Jim Carrey sitting in a tree… (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Ewan McGregor vs Gavin Rossdale (TeenyManolo)

The Hillary kerfuffle (disembedded)

Obama’s acceptance speech (FoodPlusPolitics)

Jesus appears on an insect! (Membracid)

David Beckham is afraid of turning into Homer Simpson (CeleBitchy)

The 12-step recovery plan for David Duchovny (BestWeekEver)

Aaron Sorkin will Friend you (Valleywag)

The Collected Facebook Status Updates of Aaron Sorkin (Vulture)

Madonna goes Howard Hughes on us (SeriouslyOMG)

Singer’s uncle off to Sing-Sing (ICYDK)

I will NOT use the headline “Sarah Palin tapped by McCain”!!! (CitizenSugar)

Lindsay Lohan takes a shot at the gold medal (HolyMoly)

Carrie Underwood might have to settle for silver (DailyStab)

Jeremy Piven can’t keep a civil tongue in his head (ImNotObsessed)

No, he really can’t: the collected rants of Jeremy Piven (Defamer)

Blind Item Roundup! (Gawker)

Solange Knowles bans the Big B (CelebritySmack)

The Broony Bromance (CandyKirby)

Been that kind of day. Gossip blog linkination, take me away!

(low standards, I know, I know)

Princess Beatrice duz not has British Teeth! (Lolebrity)

Henry Rollins thinks you’re a twit! (AgentBedhead)

Save the Cheerleader’s Undergotchies! (DailyStab)

Drink beer to become as smart as Jessica Simpson (CelebritySmack)

Get your hands on Matthew McConaughey’s Hook ‘Em Horns (SeriouslyOMG)

Mini Me, Maxi Media (CelebuWreck)

Matt Damon re-dads (CeleBitchy)

Be Nicole Richie’s slave! (BricksAndStones)

Now we know where Cher gets her wigs (IBBB)

Enter HoffSpace! (TheBlemish)

Ricky Martin: Livin La Vida Breeder? (CandyKirby)

This could be the greatest British comedy show ever (UKPopsugar)

Angie Harmon expecting (ImNotObsessed)

The Michael Phelps/Amanda Beard drinking game (ItsCandyTV)

The Legend of Spaghetti Cat (Mollygood)

Harry Potter had “a lot of fun” with Lavender Brown (JustJared)

The love triangle that ate the internet (Radar)

Liveblogging Project Runway (Gawker)

The Periodic Table of Awesoments (TheDapperstache)

Will this performance save Tom Cruise’s careeer? (Defamer)

Liza with a ZOMG! (Lolebrity)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: David Boreanaz vs Ewan MacGregor (TeenyManolo)

Perez Hilton explained in math (SuperfantasticPlastic)

Kate Moss and Sly Stallone want you to bend over for them (AgentBedhead)

Paul Newman finishes chemo (CelebritySmack)

John Edwards admits cheating while his wife had cancer (EvilBeet)

Clay Aiken has a baby! (WRAL)

LiLo and SamRon out for her birthday (DailyStab)

Suri Cruise is a natural! (CandyKirby)

Brian Atene: riddle wrapped in an enigma and posted on YouTube (YouTube)

Jessica Simpson pulls the old “Baby on Board” on Tony Romo’s family (CeleBitchy)

Bleachonce not bleached, sez Loreal (EOnline)

Top Five Failed Olympic crossovers (Defamer)

First pic of Clay Aiken’s baby (Gawker)

“Dress” for the red carpet not just a vague metaphor (GoFugYourself)

The quotable Tori Spelling (IBBB)

Levi McConaughey pimps out the murse (Mollygood)

Miley Cyrus in All About Eve (Websters)

Your GenX Moment: Mary Tyler Moore Show reunion! (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindsay Lohan throws a lingerie party for her girlfriend (JustJared)

Suri has a muneez (Lolebrity)

Richard Simmons is a man’s man (Websters)

Guyliner goes mainstream (AgentBedhead)

Eyeliner works wonders (DailyStab)

Lance Armstrong comes out…of relationship (CelebritySmack)

Janice Dickinson, hot tranny mess (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Tranny or Trash: YOU decide! (CandyKirby)

Britney’s new friend is hung like a horse (IBBB)

New Trannie Barbies: Xtina and Eva (ImNotObsessed)

Ashley Tisdale trawls for tuna (JustJared)

Paris Hilton, cobbler to the creme de la creme of drag performers (Mollygood)

So then, what does Tony Romo get if he wins MVP? (PopSugar)

NIN, straight up (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

America’s Got Confusion: there are professional Ozzy Osbourne impersonators? (Defamer)

Morrissey invades Israel (Gawker)

____er ____ed for ****ing in ___ (Radar)

Flannel-shirted Miley Cyrus will NOT kiss a girl! (CeleBitchy)

Tom Cruise no longer a mama’s boy? (InTouch)

Amy Winehouse is a vampire (DListed)

Blaaaaake, Incarcerated for two more years (CelebritySmack)

The Pope finds your lack of faith disturbing (Lolebrity)

Patrick Swayze is immortal! (DListed)

Courtney Love is such a joker! (AgentBedhead)

No, really, she is (Gawker)

We need to set her up with these guys (CandyKirby)

Jessica Simpson is just like you, haters! (DailyStab)

The Chosen Twins spotted! (BauerGriffin)

Heidi Montag shipped to Iraq (JustJared)

Catastrophe on the set of “&” (Defamer)

Someone airlift Claudia Schiffer out of there before it’s too late (GoFugYourself)

If you turn your wife into you, is that self-abuse? (GabbyBabble)

Sean Connery thinks, strangely enough, that his grown son should get a job (CeleBitchy)

Dance like nobody’s watching…because if you’re Dina Lohan, it’s true! (IBBB)

Lindsay Lohan is a sellout (Websters)

Blogger donates kidney, liveblogs it (Mollygood)

Gwyneth’s so British she has a double-decker stroller (PopSugar)

Janet Jackson’s nipple not worth a half-million dollars (SeriouslyOMG)

Gore Vidal will have none of your nonfiction-worship, heathens! (Radar)

Katie Holmes goes shopping for an American Girl (WizbangPop)

Trent Reznor ar gots it al! (Lolebrity)

Happy Brangemas! (Websters)

Happy Rockmas! School of Rock II on the way! (SeriouslyOMG)

Nobody’s f*cking Jimmy Kimmel. Party at Matt’s place! (CelebuWreck)

Celebrate! JLo is fatter than you! (DListed)

It’s Pete-A-Palooza Time! (AgentBedhead)

Billy Corgan does not play Sweet Sixteens for Courtney Love or for anyone (CelebritySmack)

The blessed Brangemas obstetrician speaks! (DailyStab)

Amy Winehouse celebrates her own funeral … constantly (EvilBeet)

Madonna attempts to commemorate May Day with the sperm of Jose Canseco (Yeeeeah)

All hail your new Belgian overlords! (CandyKirby)

Happy Birthday, Joel Silver! (Defamer)

Jessica Simpson’s breasts celebrate their freedom (CeleBitchy)

Party canceled: South Carolina not so gay after all (Gawker)

Vince Vaughn celebrates Special Olympics win? (JustJared)

Who is the #1 Celebrity, who is packing their knives and going back to Peoria? (PopSugar)

What NOT to wear to the prom (Mollygood)

She’s been voted as having the finest set of ta-tas in Hollywood and people are starting to listen to her music again.  But alas for some, a moment in Jessica Simpson’s arms is no less terrifying than dangling hundreds of feet in the air at a stalled amusement park ride.

Britney Spears has dim inisht car pass city (Lolebrity)

The first Triple Crown win in thirty years? (TheAspiringHorseplayer)

Lindsay Lohan has more lives than a house full of cats (AgentBedhead)

Vin Diesel is a daddy! (DailyStab)

Evander Holyfield nearly loses ear, may lose house as well (CelebritySmack)

KFed will not be bought! Cheaply! (ImNotObsessed)

Click here and watch your ovaries expload: Prince Harry holding a baby! (DListed)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Viggo Mortensen vs Jon Bon Jovi (TeenyManolo)

Willy Nelson is a nut; Jessica Simpson is a speed demon (Defamer)

Lynda Carter reports finding a dead woman in the Potomac (CeleBitchy)

Christina Aguilera misuses the American flag (Yeeeeah)

Jennifer Lopez defects to Moscow, twins nowhere in sight (PopSugar)

Kate Beckinsale is uni-talented (Websters)

They grow up so fast…when their mother is Kate Beckinsale, that is (Mollygood)

Jude Law will have none of your “match the shoes to the outfit” Naziism! (JustJared)

“Do ya feel lucky, Spike Lee? Well, do ya?” (CandyKirby)

Billionaire Nerd is secret sex, drug fiend (PerezHilton)

The first rule of Metallica is, you don’t talk about Metallica (Idolator)

RIP YSL (TeenyManolo)

Angelina and Brad: all ur babeez (Lolebrity)

MTV Awards liveblogging (Defamer)

Heart-Shaped box? Kurt Cobain’s ashes stolen (NewsOfTheWorld)

More Death of Gen-X news: Donnie Darko sequel coming (AgentBedhead)

Win Radiohead! (POTP)

Tomkat’s Thetan-exorcism/housewarming party (OK)

Steven Tyler is a surprisingly good actor, if you buy this (CelebritySmack)

Chris Rock rocks (Websters)

Manhattanhenge (CityRag)

20 hottest young royals. Hair apparently optional for Heir Apparent (Bumpshack)

The Clay Aiken pregnancy story debunked (IBBB)

Sarah Jessica Parker’s gown gets around (Gawker)

Real people duke it out over which of them is the real imaginary person (PageSix)

Amy Winehouse doing exactly as well as expected after drive-through rehab (CeleBitchy)

Victoria Beckham has some trouble at the Marc Jacobs fitting (TheRadReport)

Rainn Wilson gets fashion tips from Ayyyy (JustJared)

Pete Wentz rocks the manpris as his wife bails on concert tour (DailyStab)

Jessica Simpson still dragging Tony Romo around (ImNotObsessed)

Warrant out for Christina Aguilera (CandyKirby)

Tatum O’Neal back on crack (Mollygood)

Universal Studios on fire, and we don’t mean their movies! (PerezHilton)

No news today (BBC via BoingBoing)

No real news about Vince Vaughn anyway (DListed)

Top Ten College Commencement Speeches (Gawker)

Jack Black’s Panda Attack! (AgentBedhead)

Shania is single, has no comment (CeleBitchy)

Californians achieve marriage equality (Mollygood)

Britney’s pink wig’s sex tape (Defamer)

Beyonce is Desperate (ImNotObsessed)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty close down the Hell Prom (Lolebrity)

Hard celebrity dicks (Gawker)

Ellen ruins Portia’s surprise (TMZ)

Jessica Alba cannot outstare your disapproving aunt Thelma (YouTube)

Renee Zellweger thinks you can be fooled by myriad accessories (ImNotObsessed)

Posh is a jean Djinnii (PopSugar)

Sugar Tits and Sugar Titter en route to South America: this should end well (DailyStab)

OWEN WILSON COMES TO HIS SENSES (CelebritySmack)

Kiefer kandidz (GabbyBabble)

Vince Vaughn will make his own damn threesomes! (CandyKirby)

Iron Femme (Websters)

Jessica Alba is being motherly (IBBB)

Paris Hilton prefers granny panties (Websters)

Mischa Barton doesn’t have enough body fat for that much cellulite! (SeriouslyOMG)

Celebrities send a message to Tom Cruise (JustJared)

ScarJo and RyRey are engaged (GabbyBabble)

Nine Inch Nails gives away their entire album for free (AgentBedhead)

Gary Dourdan was wearing Lindsay Lohan’s coke pants (Defamer)

TomCruise.com does not fail to bring the kray-zee! (Gawker)

Britney to make special guest appearance in court (ImNotObsessed)

Gwyneth Paltrow finds her son disturbing (DailyStab)

Lawn Gyland sets the bar high: Dina Lohan is Mother of the Year (CandyKirby)

Stripper-portraying “actress” Lindsay Lohan to stretch self again on Ugly Betty (POTP)

The Jennifer Aniston love machine lays waste to Hollywood, if you believe her PR (Mollygood)

Simon Cowell may not be all menthol-flavoured sweetness and light (ICYDK)

Jessica Simpson’s boobaerobics (CityRag)

They shot the wrong one: Heidi lives! (IBBB)

Celebs at the Kentucky Derby (HollywoodRag)

God cannot kill Bai Ling! (DListed)

Nicole Richie not exactly prepared for this whole “motherhood” thing (CeleBitchy)

With a name like “Peaches” what are the odds she’d turn out boring? (CelebritySmack)

Meet Your Master: New Nine Inch Nails single free for download tonight (TheRadReport)

Katie Holmes vs Victoria Beckham: pretty hate machines (Defamer)

Every day, every one, is exactly the same to Karl Lagerfeld (Gawker)

With teeth: Hillary Duff’s veneers (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Why does James Frey get all the love in the literary world? (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend is something Ashley Olsen can never have (CelebritySmack)

That’s what Richie Sambora gets (for driving drunk) (CelebrityDirt)

You know what you are, Paris Hilton? (CelebWarship)

The line begins to blur: Pulp Fiction, by William Shakespeare  (Metaquotes)

Help me, I am in fashion hell (CandyKirby)

Happiness in slavery available to Ashton Kutcher at my house any time! (DailyStab)

Sanctified: yes, Beyonce and Jay-Z are married (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman down in it, not quite down with it (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jessica Simpson’s ringfinger/finger ringer? (IBBB)

Guns ‘n Roses’ terrible (eternal) lie (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Connor Cruise doesn’t bite the hand that feeds (JustJared)

Head has, like, a hole: The Hoff has eye surgery (HolyMoly)