Ayyyy!

Blaaaaake, Incarcerated for two more years (CelebritySmack)

The Pope finds your lack of faith disturbing (Lolebrity)

Patrick Swayze is immortal! (DListed)

Courtney Love is such a joker! (AgentBedhead)

No, really, she is (Gawker)

We need to set her up with these guys (CandyKirby)

Jessica Simpson is just like you, haters! (DailyStab)

The Chosen Twins spotted! (BauerGriffin)

Heidi Montag shipped to Iraq (JustJared)

Catastrophe on the set of “&” (Defamer)

Someone airlift Claudia Schiffer out of there before it’s too late (GoFugYourself)

If you turn your wife into you, is that self-abuse? (GabbyBabble)

Sean Connery thinks, strangely enough, that his grown son should get a job (CeleBitchy)

Dance like nobody’s watching…because if you’re Dina Lohan, it’s true! (IBBB)

Lindsay Lohan is a sellout (Websters)

Blogger donates kidney, liveblogs it (Mollygood)

Gwyneth’s so British she has a double-decker stroller (PopSugar)

Janet Jackson’s nipple not worth a half-million dollars (SeriouslyOMG)

Gore Vidal will have none of your nonfiction-worship, heathens! (Radar)

Katie Holmes goes shopping for an American Girl (WizbangPop)

Trent Reznor ar gots it al! (Lolebrity)

Happy Brangemas! (Websters)

Happy Rockmas! School of Rock II on the way! (SeriouslyOMG)

Nobody’s f*cking Jimmy Kimmel. Party at Matt’s place! (CelebuWreck)

Celebrate! JLo is fatter than you! (DListed)

It’s Pete-A-Palooza Time! (AgentBedhead)

Billy Corgan does not play Sweet Sixteens for Courtney Love or for anyone (CelebritySmack)

The blessed Brangemas obstetrician speaks! (DailyStab)

Amy Winehouse celebrates her own funeral … constantly (EvilBeet)

Madonna attempts to commemorate May Day with the sperm of Jose Canseco (Yeeeeah)

All hail your new Belgian overlords! (CandyKirby)

Happy Birthday, Joel Silver! (Defamer)

Jessica Simpson’s breasts celebrate their freedom (CeleBitchy)

Party canceled: South Carolina not so gay after all (Gawker)

Vince Vaughn celebrates Special Olympics win? (JustJared)

Who is the #1 Celebrity, who is packing their knives and going back to Peoria? (PopSugar)

What NOT to wear to the prom (Mollygood)

She’s been voted as having the finest set of ta-tas in Hollywood and people are starting to listen to her music again.  But alas for some, a moment in Jessica Simpson’s arms is no less terrifying than dangling hundreds of feet in the air at a stalled amusement park ride.

Britney Spears has dim inisht car pass city (Lolebrity)

The first Triple Crown win in thirty years? (TheAspiringHorseplayer)

Lindsay Lohan has more lives than a house full of cats (AgentBedhead)

Vin Diesel is a daddy! (DailyStab)

Evander Holyfield nearly loses ear, may lose house as well (CelebritySmack)

KFed will not be bought! Cheaply! (ImNotObsessed)

Click here and watch your ovaries expload: Prince Harry holding a baby! (DListed)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Viggo Mortensen vs Jon Bon Jovi (TeenyManolo)

Willy Nelson is a nut; Jessica Simpson is a speed demon (Defamer)

Lynda Carter reports finding a dead woman in the Potomac (CeleBitchy)

Christina Aguilera misuses the American flag (Yeeeeah)

Jennifer Lopez defects to Moscow, twins nowhere in sight (PopSugar)

Kate Beckinsale is uni-talented (Websters)

They grow up so fast…when their mother is Kate Beckinsale, that is (Mollygood)

Jude Law will have none of your “match the shoes to the outfit” Naziism! (JustJared)

“Do ya feel lucky, Spike Lee? Well, do ya?” (CandyKirby)

Billionaire Nerd is secret sex, drug fiend (PerezHilton)

The first rule of Metallica is, you don’t talk about Metallica (Idolator)

RIP YSL (TeenyManolo)

Angelina and Brad: all ur babeez (Lolebrity)

MTV Awards liveblogging (Defamer)

Heart-Shaped box? Kurt Cobain’s ashes stolen (NewsOfTheWorld)

More Death of Gen-X news: Donnie Darko sequel coming (AgentBedhead)

Win Radiohead! (POTP)

Tomkat’s Thetan-exorcism/housewarming party (OK)

Steven Tyler is a surprisingly good actor, if you buy this (CelebritySmack)

Chris Rock rocks (Websters)

Manhattanhenge (CityRag)

20 hottest young royals. Hair apparently optional for Heir Apparent (Bumpshack)

The Clay Aiken pregnancy story debunked (IBBB)

Sarah Jessica Parker’s gown gets around (Gawker)

Real people duke it out over which of them is the real imaginary person (PageSix)

Amy Winehouse doing exactly as well as expected after drive-through rehab (CeleBitchy)

Victoria Beckham has some trouble at the Marc Jacobs fitting (TheRadReport)

Rainn Wilson gets fashion tips from Ayyyy (JustJared)

Pete Wentz rocks the manpris as his wife bails on concert tour (DailyStab)

Jessica Simpson still dragging Tony Romo around (ImNotObsessed)

Warrant out for Christina Aguilera (CandyKirby)

Tatum O’Neal back on crack (Mollygood)

Universal Studios on fire, and we don’t mean their movies! (PerezHilton)

No news today (BBC via BoingBoing)

No real news about Vince Vaughn anyway (DListed)

Top Ten College Commencement Speeches (Gawker)

Jack Black’s Panda Attack! (AgentBedhead)

Shania is single, has no comment (CeleBitchy)

Californians achieve marriage equality (Mollygood)

Britney’s pink wig’s sex tape (Defamer)

Beyonce is Desperate (ImNotObsessed)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty close down the Hell Prom (Lolebrity)

Hard celebrity dicks (Gawker)

Ellen ruins Portia’s surprise (TMZ)

Jessica Alba cannot outstare your disapproving aunt Thelma (YouTube)

Renee Zellweger thinks you can be fooled by myriad accessories (ImNotObsessed)

Posh is a jean Djinnii (PopSugar)

Sugar Tits and Sugar Titter en route to South America: this should end well (DailyStab)

OWEN WILSON COMES TO HIS SENSES (CelebritySmack)

Kiefer kandidz (GabbyBabble)

Vince Vaughn will make his own damn threesomes! (CandyKirby)

Iron Femme (Websters)

Jessica Alba is being motherly (IBBB)

Paris Hilton prefers granny panties (Websters)

Mischa Barton doesn’t have enough body fat for that much cellulite! (SeriouslyOMG)

Celebrities send a message to Tom Cruise (JustJared)

ScarJo and RyRey are engaged (GabbyBabble)

Nine Inch Nails gives away their entire album for free (AgentBedhead)

Gary Dourdan was wearing Lindsay Lohan’s coke pants (Defamer)

TomCruise.com does not fail to bring the kray-zee! (Gawker)

Britney to make special guest appearance in court (ImNotObsessed)

Gwyneth Paltrow finds her son disturbing (DailyStab)

Lawn Gyland sets the bar high: Dina Lohan is Mother of the Year (CandyKirby)

Stripper-portraying “actress” Lindsay Lohan to stretch self again on Ugly Betty (POTP)

The Jennifer Aniston love machine lays waste to Hollywood, if you believe her PR (Mollygood)

Simon Cowell may not be all menthol-flavoured sweetness and light (ICYDK)

Jessica Simpson’s boobaerobics (CityRag)

They shot the wrong one: Heidi lives! (IBBB)

Celebs at the Kentucky Derby (HollywoodRag)

God cannot kill Bai Ling! (DListed)

Nicole Richie not exactly prepared for this whole “motherhood” thing (CeleBitchy)

With a name like “Peaches” what are the odds she’d turn out boring? (CelebritySmack)

Meet Your Master: New Nine Inch Nails single free for download tonight (TheRadReport)

Katie Holmes vs Victoria Beckham: pretty hate machines (Defamer)

Every day, every one, is exactly the same to Karl Lagerfeld (Gawker)

With teeth: Hillary Duff’s veneers (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Why does James Frey get all the love in the literary world? (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend is something Ashley Olsen can never have (CelebritySmack)

That’s what Richie Sambora gets (for driving drunk) (CelebrityDirt)

You know what you are, Paris Hilton? (CelebWarship)

The line begins to blur: Pulp Fiction, by William Shakespeare  (Metaquotes)

Help me, I am in fashion hell (CandyKirby)

Happiness in slavery available to Ashton Kutcher at my house any time! (DailyStab)

Sanctified: yes, Beyonce and Jay-Z are married (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman down in it, not quite down with it (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jessica Simpson’s ringfinger/finger ringer? (IBBB)

Guns ‘n Roses’ terrible (eternal) lie (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Connor Cruise doesn’t bite the hand that feeds (JustJared)

Head has, like, a hole: The Hoff has eye surgery (HolyMoly)