Archive - John Galliano RSS Feed

Dude looks like…another dude!

Steven Tyler's had a career change

Steven Tyler’s had a career change

We here at would like to congratulate showbiz legend Steven Tyler on his latest gig, playing stand up gigs along the Vegas strip in the character of now-fallen fashion icon John Galliano.

John Galliano defies you to finish that sentence

Hello. My Name is John Galliano. You keeled my career. Prepare to die!

Happy Birthday to Moi: Here’s my present to you

Hump days are always hard, even when they’re your birthday. I’m celebrating what they call a Milestone (in lieu of saying, “Wow, did you know Edison?”) and feeling a little vintage myself, particularly in rainy weather. For that reason, we’re going All-Vintage this week at Ayyyy, and today we have a truly special post. No ragged, spouse-swapping, morning-after celebrities on this blog! Here’s something to give your eyes and spirit a little lift, coming to you direct from Valentina and the year 1930.

Valentina Dress from OMG that Dress

Valentina Dress from OMG that Dress

I’m not normally all about the sleek for myself, but this is elegance itself. It would look equally good on Carole Lombard and Jean Harlow. This is a dress that lets the woman (and the body) do the talking.

If you prefer something more ornamented, not to worry. We’ve got you covered: in Galliano! The Little Fashion Troll was recently interviewed in Vanity Fair and his mea culpa was actually moving and profound. Clearly it’s in his best business interests to apologize, but it seems to me that he has had an epiphany, an opportunity to examine himself in a way that few men ever do, and that he has not shied away from it but come out a better person. Time will tell if he will be welcomed back, but Anna is a fan, and what Anna wants, Anna gets.

tl;dr, here’s Stella Tennant looking the most feminine she ever did in her life, in Galliano for Christian Dior Haute Couture 2005.

Stella Tennant in Galliano for Christian Dior Haute Couture

Stella Tennant in Galliano for Christian Dior Haute Couture

Slam Punk

So apparently the Met is throwing punk parties nowadays; well, I guess someone had to, what with CBGBs closed and the Mudd Club closed and Max’s Kansas City closed and…everything closed, and half the people dead. So they threw a party called “PUNK: Chaos to Couture,” invited the Living Dead, the Social Skeletons, and the mummified dowagers and their walkers to a gala and…

Sienna Miller was the best-dressed woman there?

Sienna Miller at the Met Gala

Sienna Miller at the Met Gala

I know, I know, I’m losing my edge: first Katy Perry, now Sienna Miller. Both women I love to loathe, and both hit it out of the park in terms of the right fashion at the right time and place. It’s not easy to do glam punk, but Miller does it here with a jacket and headpiece worth more than Jonny Rotten ever spent on heroin in his entire life. But she still doesn’t look like she’s in costume; she looks like she could wear that with ripped jeans in a squat and be as relaxed and at home as Gwyneth Paltrow pretends to be when surrounded by food.

But that’s costume, gala punk. The Little Fashion Troll, he is the real thing.

Galliano is gloriously insane

Galliano is gloriously insane

And can someone tell me why, out of that entire fringey shorts over the camo shorts with the Pucci scarf with the prepster vest with the Derelicte jacket I am focused entirely on the feet and wondering where (and why) he ever got camel-toed British military socks? Do the Japanese do a lot of deer stalking in the Highlands or something? If they do, trust John Galliano to sneak up and snag their look when they’re not looking.

Friday Caption Contest: Catherine Zeta Jones bikini edition

You know what to do. Do it in the comments:

Gee, Catherine Zeta-Jones, haven't seen much of you lately. Comparatively speaking.
Gee, Catherine Zeta-Jones, haven’t seen much of you lately. Comparatively speaking.

I think it’s pretty clear there can be but one cocktail accompaniment to this, and that is a Naked Martini, otherwise known as gin, straight up (note not neat; “straight up” is shaken or stirred over ice to put a little water and oxygen into it, and gets it nice and cold, and now your cocktail trivia lesson for today is at an end).

And now, your gossip links, including the one from which I stole that picture:

And this is what happened to Steve Jobs, Viggo Mortensen and Julian Assange (raincoaster)

Help poor John Galliano find another job! (Ayyyy)

Winedown with Jean-Georges! (ManoloFood)

I am Woman, Hear me roar! (Lolebrity)

He’d better never date Jessica Simpson (AgentBedhead)

“Hustler?” Gee, I knew she was looking for work, but golly! (BusyBeeBlogger)

We should feel sorrier for her because she’s wearing THAT (CelebDirtyLaundry)

The Empress of Lucite just got some more plastic (CelebritySmack)

Lock up your lesbians! Xtina is single! (DailyStab)

America is a Miley-free zone? (EarSucker)

Gee, Catherine Zeta-Jones, haven’t seen much of you lately, comparatively speaking (FitFabCeleb)

PWND! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

We LOST track of Evangeline Lilly (HollywoodHiccups)

Gwyneth Paltrow’s hip bones make the cover of Self (INeedMyFix)

Marilyn Manson official scrapes the bottom of the barrel (MathewGuiver)

Because nobody watches Britney vids for the singing (PoorBritney)

RIP Mr. Tiger Beat (Swoonworthy)

What does “Virgin Marathon” even mean? You hold out till marriage? (TheSkinny)

It was the jacket, wasn’t it? (TheSkinnyChic)


Won’t You Help the Greediest?

Pity the poor little Fashion Troll! One (okay, two) anti-semitic on-camera rants and not only is he Dooced from Dior, he’s Gone from Galliano as well!

That’s right: just like Halston and many another poor sap before him, the Fashion Troll sold his name to a company that has a different set of priorities, priorities that apparently don’t include employing someone radioactive just because he’s also jaw-droppingly talented. While the fashion world is all a-Twitter about the question of who will be doing Galliano in a world which still, you know, contains Galliano, we here in the Manolosphere are more interested in what will happen to the once-mighty Troll when the (no doubt fabulous) rubber hits the road.

Since he’s apparently unemployable in the fashion world, let’s play Employment Counselor and see what potential professions would suit the erstwhile toast of Paris.

PR is obviously out.

Hello, Sailor! John Galliano is fit for an Olive Oyl

Hello, Sailor! John Galliano is fit for an Olive Oyl

Sailor? Possibly, but it’s awfully hard to patrol the Mediterranean while simultaneously avoiding Israel.

Work it for dear life!

Work it for dear life!

Model? Too short, too fat, too ugly, as he would tell himself after a few drinks. He’d probably also kick in “too Jewish” for good measure, although I don’t think it ever hurt Shalom Harlow any.

King? Kong!

King? Kong!

King/Dictator For Life? Ask Mubarak or Gaddafi: dictators and absolute monarchs are SO 20th Century.

I don't know what that look is, other than deranged and vaguely fabulous

I don't know what that look is, other than deranged and vaguely fabulous

Some sort of Afghani toreador? Sorry, John, I think they used all the bulls in Afghanistan to clear minefields.

But can he type?

But can he type?

Newsie? They do say a straight line is the shortest distance between two points, and his infamous line was one of the straightest we’ve ever heard from the man, but as it didn’t succeed in bringing them closer, we say he fails on both sentence structure and geometry.

John Galliano IS a rake

John Galliano IS a rake

Farmer? Not down-to-earth enough. Rake? Possibly, possibly. Is there money in that?

Galliano and Uncle Karl

Galliano and Uncle Karl

Plus one? I’ve tried this, and you may be shocked, but it’s not that easy to make a living at it. The Diva Diet is notoriously hard on your liver. Also, you think he’s still going to be Uncle Karl’s plus one? He’ll be lucky to be seen in a Twitpic with Tara Reid.

John Galliano understudies Liza

John Galliano understudies Liza

Road show of Cabaret?

John Galliano demonstrates how the mother bird feeds her little model

John Galliano demonstrates how the mother bird feeds her little model

Ornithology nutrition specialist? Model dietitian?

John Galliano defies you to finish that sentence

Hello. My Name is John Galliano. You keeled my career. Prepare to die!

Rapie— you know, I’m not gonna finish that one.

Is that a paperback in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

Is that a paperback in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

Filthy magazine vendor?



Stoner? I think this one may win Most Likely To.



This could be a winner, folks. I don’t imagine at this point we’d encounter too much opposition to the idea of shooting him into space, although we’d probably have to promise not to bring him back.

Sharon Stone’s Hollywood Diet Links

Sharon Stone goes Om Nom Nom

Sharon Stone goes Om Nom Nom

At a recent press conference, Sharon Stone demonstrates a typical lunch from her own patented Hollywood Diet that’s responsible for her girlish figure and fresh face.

Boobs! Breasts! Chest! And Keywords! (raincoaster)

Fashion trolls can climb? (Ayyyy)

Challah, breakfast! (Manolofood)

Sean Connery is the top! (Lolebrity)

Robert Pattinson and pubes in the same sentence (AgentBedhead)

Ode to Californication (BusyBeeBlogger)

Stars shoulder the burden of fashion (CeleBitchy)

Joan Rivers vs Sarah Palin (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Paz’d out (CelebritySmack)

Canadian-dater is impure! (AllieIsWired)

Charlie Sheen, name-dropper! (Earsucker)

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban sublet a womb (DailyStab)

Sandra Bullock knows bangs are cheaper than Botox (GirlsTalkinSmack)

For a sec I seriously thought that was Julian Assange with CZJ (HaveUHeard)

Montreal won the Golden Globes (INeedMyFix)

Kanye Kant Handle It (PoorBritney)

You don’t deserve Ricky Jervais! (PopBytes)

Hayden, that is not what they mean by “the layered look” (FitFabCeleb)

JLo bids high (GabbyBabble)

Celebrity philosophers in 140 characters (EvilBeet)

The TRUE winner of the Golden Globes (MovieLine)

Michael Lohan finally finds his perfect match (SeriouslyOMG)

Climbing the Walls

John Galliano and Eva Green

John Galliano and Eva Green are climbing the walls

Insanely fabulous John Galliano and Eva Green here demonstrate a typical party guest’s reaction when Aunt Letitia wheels out her harpsichord.

Whiskey Wednesday Humpday Links

Paul Newman, the only man who could get away with that hat

Well, I’ve pulled my second all-nighter in a week and it’s only Wednesday. Not only is it Wednesday, but a little bird called Twitter told me it’s #WhiskeyWednesday and the new Harry Potter movie is out, and that means that as soon as this all-night diner can rustle me up something warming I’m having a coffee with a double Fireball and then conking out while the rest of you are all working. Salut! Happy hump day! Here is a picture of Paul Newman in a floppy hat, demonstrating once again that the beautiful can get away with things mere mortals cannot.

John Galliano’s unholy ambition (Ayyyy)
Harold, Kumar, Team America World Police, and your daily civics lesson (raincoaster)
2 girls, 1 cup, 1 Chaplin (Lolebrity)
Unspeakable horror aboard a shipwreck! (ManoloFood)
Baby put in corner, survives to triumph (AgentBedhead)
Clive Owen, looking pretty (BusyBeeBlogger)
and you, madam, are NO David Bowie (CeleBitchy)
Justin Bieber in Playboy? (CelebDirtyLaundry)
I think this is a steampunk jeweled zombie dress? (CelebritySmack)
Don’t Tattoo the Hoff! (CityRag)
But HOW do you love a man in a wetsuit? (CojoStyle)
They’ve always seemed Sketchy to me (DailyStab)
Yes, we have socialized B-lister protection (DListed)
Charlie Sheen also reads Playboy for the articles (Earsucker)
Give that monster a cookie! And a job! (EvilBeet)
My invitation must be lost in the mail (GabbyBabble)
Hopefully this means she’ll be “acting” less (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Daniel Radcliffe actually IS Harry Potter (HaveUHeard)
Versace de-sexifies, rolls over in grave (INeedMyFix)
But seriously, how do you parody Nicki Minaj? (PerezHilton)
and Paris Hilton carries her Thanksgiving entree to the pantry (PopBytes)
Brendan Fraser in “Homeless or Hipster?” (SeriouslyOMG)

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