Ayyyy!

Shaun White ignores, to his credit, traditional advice for pattern on pattern.

Sven Kramer pwns NBC (raincoaster)

Padma’s pads (Lolebrity)

Suicide Girls Must Die (AgentBedhead)

Mel B. is 1/2 the wacko Britney was (AmyGrindhouse)

Colin Firth insufficiently gay for Tom Ford (BusyBeeBlogger)

Johnny Weir is too sexy for Vangroover (CeleBitchy)

Ali Lohan -> Dita von Teese? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

The Return of Cinnabun (CelebritySmack)

When Cougars Attack, starring Demi Moore and Susan Sarandon (CityRag)

Ewan McGregor is Out (DailyStab)

Flying Tomato drops bomb (Gawker)

The Return of Harriet Carter Wednesday (IBBB)

Kate Moss coulda been a neurosurgeon (INeedMyFix)

Do you want fries with that? (GoFugYourself)

Celine’s overshare will go on (Lainey)

Britney’s sour Candies (DListed)

We’re on a boat! (JustJared)

They’ve Lost the plot (Movieline)

The tears of a Canuck (PerezHilton)

Whatchootalkinbout Gary Coleman (SeriouslyOMG)

Twihardgasm! (TenGossip)

Justin Timberlake wants you to put a sock in it (ASL)

Ava Jackman demonstrates that the ability to upstage one’s costars is genetic.

Katy Perry shows that Santa really IS coming (Lolebrity)

Daniel Radcliffe’s bum career (AgentBedhead)

Tiger is hiding his wood in several different club bags (AmyGrindhouse)

Bridget dumps Bernie, moves on to Bernice (BWE)

Dave Navarro OWNS the celebrity blogosphere (BBB)

Sarah Jessica Parker hiring nannies from sweatshops? (CeleBitchy)

George Michael OWNS celebrity Christmas music (PopBytes)

Mickey Rourke takes another prize (HolyMoly)

Oh noes! JT has a mini-fro! (LitelySalted)

Kingston Rossdale has a fauxhawk (CelebritySmack)

The gayest video of all time? (Crunk+Disorderly)

Marilyn Monroe and Maryjane (DailyStab)

The Hills, the comic book (Gawker)

Goth Skater Cocktail Chic (GoFugYourself)

Whitney Houston LOVES awards (FourFour)

Happy Birthday Britney (GabbyBabble)

John Mayer really cares about our Golden Couple (EvilBeet)

Susan Boyle is unstoppable (DListed)

Mischa Barton, soon to appear on Oprah (INO)

Jessica Simpson, Not Working (Justjared)

Sandra Bullock plays quarterback (Movieline)

Help John Mellencamp quit smoking (SeriouslyOMG)

In the spirit of Celebrity Dad Faceoff and The Monday Hotness, and with an acknowledging fist-bump to the literary meme going around the Manolosphere, we present Hump Day Links. Uh, no reason I chose that title.

And for, uh, no particular reason other than – ah – my proper esteem for public intellectuals, today I present:

The Men of Vanity Fair

Michael Lewis

William Langewiesche

Sebastian Junger

Uhhh, what was I saying? Right, public intellectuals and literacy and all like that there. Yeah, Dorothy Parker is my homegirl.

I don’t know about you, but I could use a refreshing Cold Shower after that! Now, to the hunk hump links!

Cool nekkid vamps (AgentBedhead)

Guess the hottie (AmyGrindhouse)

Soon to be the biggest-selling gift item ever (BricksAndStones)

Dexter, killer dad (BusyBeeBlogger)

Tots for t*ts (LaughingStork)

RPattz just needs the love of a good six-pack (CeleBitchy)

Clooney, Crawford, and choppers (AccidentalSexiness)

Tom Brady’s sports sisters (CelebritySmack)

Gerard Butler forecasts hot and humid! (TenGossip)

Simon Cowell takes another victim (DailyStab)

Sherlocked Up Holmes (Gawker)

Peter Andre loses 140lbs (GabbyBabble)

Douglas Family Values (EvilBeet)

Gerard Butler has something to tell you (DListed)

Justin Timberlake hits the Open Road (INO)

Leo, topless (JustJared)

The man who invented Himbos (Movieline)

Heath Ledger’s King Rat (UKPopSugar)

Jack Nicholson, party animal (SeriouslyOMG)

It’s a MAN, BABY! (HolyMoly)

Ryan Reynolds, topless (Websters)

Oh, and uh, Graydon Carter, of course:

Donate your used cellphones and cameras to a good cause (FearlessCity)

ScarJo’s snot ’spensive! (AgentBedhead)

Kate Beckinsale picks up the mantle of Eartha Kitt (AmyGrindhouse)

KFed sure can pick ‘em! (CelebWarship)

The 12 Blogs of the Lohan Family (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Santa brought Prince William a beard for Christmas (CeleBitchy)

Winehouse in St.Lucia, not in rehab (CelebritySmack)

Jessica Simpson has hope! (DailyStab)

The Flack Awards (Defamer)

Blogs are dead! (DListed)

War of the Bootsies! (EvilBeet)

Lance Armstrong to be babydaddy (CandyKirby)

Orlando Bloom is a biker for God (JustJared)

Late Christmas present (UKPopSugar)

and another pressie (SeriouslyOMG)

One more reason to hate Paris Hilton (Websters)

The Renaissance of Georgette Mosbacher (WOWReport)

It was a dark and stormy night, and all the crew were gathered in the cabin. The captain turned to the first mate and said, “Pass the Laphroaig, please.”

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: historical hunk edition (TeenyManolo)

Item #38 in Things You Already Knew: Madonna hates America (AgentBedhead)

Malawi strikes back! (CeleBitchy)

Melissa Etheridge is back on the market whether she likes it or not! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Julia Hudson is a whackadoodle (CelebritySmack)

Anne Hathaway has some freaky pen friends (DailyStab)

Courtney Love is easily confused (Defamer)

The Return of Britney Spears (DListed)

On Karl’s iPod (FakeKarl)

Katy Perry is no Grace Jones (GoFugYourself)

Justin and Britney reunited under adult supervision (IBBB)

Suri Cruise has a message for you (CandyKirby)

Russell Brand got thrown out of England (UKPopSugar)

Nicole Kidman is just jealous (Websters)

Zac Efron is literal-minded, not dirty-minded! (Yeeeeah)

Life lessons from Judge Judy (Jezebel)

Courting Condi (Mollygood)

What kind of callous person abandons a lady with a twisted ankle, leaving her with nothing more than a sweat rag to fend off the hungry paparazzi!  Better take a seat and make yourself comfortable love, because it doesn’t look like he’ll be back anytime soon.

Dere’s nuttin lyke a Dame Helen Mirren in a bikini (Lolebrity)

Her Majesty’s only suitable consort: James Bond (Websters)

Aubrey O’Day: when drag queens go bad (JustJared)

Jordan: when drag queens get it right (GoFugYourself)

Justin Timberlake gets a makeover (Defamer)

In unrelated news, Amy Winehouse has gained weight (Towleroad)

Finally, Ben Affleck understands what all those high school health classes were about (ImNotObsessed)

The private hell of the professional autographer (Radar)

Kate Hudson goes the distance to whack some balls (PopSugar)

Emmy nominations; Katherine Heigl surprisingly absent (SeriouslyOMG)

The Goot is a lover AND a fighter (Mollygood)

Breast Dressed: the Estrogen Gladiator (CandyKirby)

The Peroxide Twins do lunch (IBBB)

HBO tells Seth Rogen that Canadians don’t deserve entourages (HollywoodBackwash)

Pete Doherty is wanted? (GabbyBabble)

Claire Danes is the Skeleton in Red (EvilBeet)

Katie Holmes commits the ultimate fashion crime (DListed)

Heidi Klum’s body not perfect enough for insurance company (DailyStab)

Amy Winehouse spotted in a bathroom stall (CelebritySmack)

Chav Pride! (AgentBedhead)

Dress your children in Avril Lavigne (CeleBitchy)

Hoo hyerd Amy Winehouse 4 “babbysittur?” (Lolebrity)

Matt Damon = “Ned Flanders?” Must be seen to be believed! (Websters)

Britney looks, behaves, “almost” like a normal person (ASL)

“It’s SIR Salman to you biotches now!” (WizbangPop)

“Teh gheys” are hot for Frodo (Radar)

Is Colin Farrell Minnie Driver’s “babydaddy?” (CeleBitchy)

Justin Timberlake neglects hygene “down below” (UKPopsugar)

Sean Avery learns why they call it a “promotion” (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Brooke Hogan’s butt is “an old car” (CelebritySmack)

File under “no surprise:” Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen kids are in therapy (ImNotObsessed)

Solange looks “interesting” don’t you think? (CandyKirby)

“The Hoff” is hurting! (DailyStab)

“Mulder and Scully” smack down the lone remaining G&R fan (AgentBedhead)

“Rumble” in Malibu II! (Defamer)

Sherri Sheppard is a “big” fan of Chippendales (Crunk+Disorderly)

Drew Lachey is a “Patsy” (JustJared)