Ayyyy!

John Mayer commemorates this day with historic haircut (CelebrityDirt)

Christina Aguilera is overcome at the emotional celebration (CandyKirby)

Asbestos is the opiate of the people…the people who go on Scientology cruises (AgentBedhead)

Madonna and Justin Timberlake entertain the masses (DailyStab)

Let them eat brioche, say Angie and Brad (ImNotObsessed)

Brazilian shoemaker poses with accessibly-priced, responsibly-manufactured footwear (DerekHail)

Britney Spears blew $61 million dollars in one year and you earn no interest on your tax refund (CeleBitchy)

Gadfly of the establishment the DC Madam dies under mysterious circumstances (Jezebel)

The Man keeps the People down yet again (DListed)

Comrade Ricky Martin launches human rights hotline (ICYDK)

Performers reenact the effect of Capitalism on the Worker. Also: hawt (CelebSlam)

People Magazine now the official newsletter of Doublethink (Websters)

The Opiate of the People just got the cover of Time (Mollygood)

SATC collective maintains party line (PopSugar)

Rehab a rehab: do I smell a new Vegas-themed commune? (Defamer)

At least someone was on hand to sound the death knell for protest marches: Million DJ March (Gawker)

Control of the means of production means Stella McCartney will keep you in pretty, lucite chains (GabbyBabble)

The overlords stick together even on AI (CelebritySmack)

The Ozzfather: Survivor Micronesia recap (RealityTV)

Margaret Cho is a tour guide in the Tunnel of Love (AgentBedhead)

Quentin Crisps (FrontierFormerEditor)

Pete Doherty stole Paula Abdul’s gloves (Dlisted)

Anonymous vs Scientology, round n+1: Operation Reconnect (1stepbeond)

Cult Friction, Scientology decoded (RadarOnline)

Jerry Seinfeld flips out (Derober)

Lindsay Lohan loses a zero, finds the role of a lifetime (CelebritySmack)

Justin Timberlake was a little bit country when he was only a little bit, himself (AllieIsWired)

Angelina Jolie before she had Brad and rhinoplasty (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Naomi Campbell behaves Naomi Campbellianly again (CelebWarship)

New pic of JLo’s twins: r not so cute akshuly (TeenyManolo)

Larry Campbell behaves Larry Campbellianly at Little League (Bumpshack)

OK what? Suri Cruise returns to Earth; celebrity mags, not so much (OK)

Anne Hathaway’s boytoy arrested for blowing through others’ cash like it was…blow? (WendyWayrad)

Baby wants her back back: entire Beckham family stuffs their jeans (TheRadReport)

Steve Jobs takes on the Big Apple (Wired)

Celebrity moose knuckle (Cityrag)

Happy birthday, Britney! (CircusHour)

Happy birthday, Jamie-Lynn (CelebrityBabyScoop)

George Clooney’s not-so-secret bromance (Celebitchy)

Claudia Schiffer hits the slopes with Mini-Her (JustJared)

Tomorrow NKOTB on Today! (DailyStab)

The Butterscotch Stallion cannot outrun the consequences of his hotness (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse possessed by demons! (AgentBedhead)

The many faces of Tracey Ullman (Popbytes)

A day in the life of batshiat Britney (Celebitchy)

Nicole Kidman is not nocturnal, nor is she possessed of leathery wings? (WWTDD)

She is, however, visibly different from 20th Century Nicole Kidman (TressedOutCelebs)

Kanye’s girfriend decides he’s still too annoying to marry (Bossip)

Charlie Sheen to appear in his underwear? (ICYDK)

Amy Winehouse is Amy Winehouse’s Dad’s fault (HollywoodRag)

James Gandolfini hospitalized (CelebritySmack)

John Mayer is a pillhead (AllieIsWired)

Celebrity sex dolls (Radar)

Top ten fake celebrity blogs (Gawker)

Posh and Becks are leaving us because we just don’t love them enough. Kidding! (Mollygood)

George Clooney in Darfur (Popsugar)

One we could live without (DailyStab)

Has Sheryl Crow gone Scientologist? (PerezHilton)

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden buy a NYC condo (ImNotObsessed)

Iggy Pop knows you want him (GoFugYourself)

Oscar nominated celebrity strippers! (Defamer)

Owen Wilson was the Times Square bomber? (Gawker)

Celebrity Sex Scenes (raincoaster)

Liam Gallagher enjoys a Metrosexual Oasis (AgentBedhead)

Lucy Liu is the wildcat to Jenna Jameson’s Jocelyn Wildenstein (GabbyBabble)

Helen Keller can still make the news even without Patty Duke Astin (DiscoveryNews)

Greasy Gummi Bear busted with heroin (CelebritySmack)

Colin Farrell is intense in GQ (AllieIsWired)

Butt, Mischa… (TheBastardly)

$1.5 million still won’t buy you a brain; the most painful pictures you will see all day (CoEdMag)

SJP fall down, go BOOM! Go BOOM real good! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Dita von Teese still takes her clothes off for a living, looks better in them than we ever will (ImNotObsessed)

Jack Nicholson was kicked out of a Rolling Stones concert (DailyStab)

Buster Martin is more man than Jack Nicholson will ever be! (CircusHour)

Owen Wilson and me (JustJared)

Britney’s got a new stalker! (PerezHilton)

Wino lives up to her name (Mirror)

Justin Timberlake has a problem with women (HollywoodReporter)

Tom Cruise is subdued at the Saggies (AgentBedhead)

Tom Cruise’s Wehrmacht ID (FrontierEditor)

John Travolta checks out the competition (Defamer)

Did you know: Without Scientology, you’re dead! (Mollygood)

Teh LOLcats h8 Scientology (raincoaster)

Amy Winehouse’s widower-to-be can hardly wait! (CelebritySmack)

Worst-dressed at the SAGGIES (Yeeeeah)

Pete Doherty loves teh kittehs (Dlisted)

Justin Timberlake is bringing the Ewok back (DerekHail)

Beckham’s boyzilian (Towelroad)

Perennially Possibly Pregnant Angie rocks the muumuu (TheBlemish)

Certifiably Insane Bjork rocks the Marushka Doll in Vegas look (BestWeekEver)

Debra Messing rocks like an Egyptian (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jamie-Lynn Spears is hard-partying, baby-making (CelebWarship)

Kiefer! Kiefer! Kiefer! Donald! Donald! Donald! (Celebitchy)

Paris Hilton goes to a lesbian club, leaves with Brittney Gastineau (EvilBeet)

Kate Beckinsale’s pussy was on fire (HolyCandy)

Hayden Panettiere saves the whales! (ImNotObsessed)

Mischa Barton brings a Yeti back from Sundance (DailyStab)

New Kids On The starting Block? Or Not? (PerezHilton)

Your gossip blog unicorn chaser: St. George the Divine (GoFugYourself)

Brendan Fraser is on the market again, ladies! (Defamer)

Misha Barton stars in “The DUI” (TMZ)

Casey Affleck discovers “Casey Affleck” is not a name worth dropping (AgentBedhead)

Britney’s latest FB is married (CelebWarship)

The Lohan Sisterhood of the Travelling Pantslessness (CelebritySmack)

Sinead O’Connor and the Pogues live in Dublin (GabbyBabble)

Britney Spears stole her kids’s Christmas presents (TheBlemish)

Angelina and Brad feed the kids McFood for Christmas Dinner (DailyStab)

The most annoying celebrity of 2007 (PopCrunch)

Lindsay Lohan betrayed by convict; convict who takes Terry Richards photographs (Derober)

Angelina’s plastic sturgeon secret (MakeHerUp)

Amy Winehouse to enjoy Norwegian interlude of, say, 8-12 months (Dlisted)

Sean Connery: a man called “Sue” (Huffpo)

Shadenfreude Special: the Hilton sisters lose out on $4 billion (IDLYITW)

John Cusack refuses to crush ignoramus interviewer (Popoholic)

Jessica Alba is engaged, still pissy (Popsugar)

Titmuss retires her tits (Sun)

Smells like… Justin Timberlake? (JustJared)

The latest Jennifer Aniston’s Uterus rumor (HolyCandy)

MK Olson apparently cannot afford shoes (ImNotObsessed)

Look who got his hands on Batman’s package! (PerezHilton)

Jack Black is stunned by the size of his (AgentBedhead)

Owen Wilson just laughs, relieved his is out of reach (EvilBeet)

Brad Pitt wishes Juliette Lewis would shut up about his (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse offers the world a glimpse of hers (TMZ)

Renee Zellweger has a “wardrobe malfunction” (BittenAndBound)

Justin Timberlake challenges Pitt and Clooney to a Sexy-Off (ASocialitesLife)

These celebrities are totally plastic (Worth1000)

The remarkably lifelike Karl Lagerfeld (CelebritySmack)

Hawt Britney Spears on Paris Hilton blackmail action! (HolyMoly)

Rachel Ray fakes it with her hubby (Dlisted)

Hayden Panettiere says Forget the Cheerleader: Save the Whales! (JustJared)

James Blunt, manslut (CrabbiesHollywood)

Britney banned from bar (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Regis Philbin gives best 3 out of 5 for next season (Mollygood)

Dolly Parton thinks Dolly Parton looks like a hooker (Celebitchy)

Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish are officially on (CelebNewsWire)

Lohan sees trouble, but they’re not going steady (WendyWayrad)

Backstreet Fuggers (GoFugYourself)

Tom Cruise remembers latest wedding just fine, thank you (I’mNotObsessed)

Hayden Panettiere gets a ring from Milo (CeleBitchy)

Pete Doherty, responsible citizen (People)

Halle Berry has lovely preggo bumps (CelebSlam)

Heidi Klum explains Seal’s appeal (AgentBedhead)

Britney and KFed together again! (DListed)

Carrie Underwood on GMA (DailyStab)

Justin Timberlake is jetlagged, uncommunicative, hawt (SeriouslyOMG)

Paris Hilton wears German panties (wears panties? who knew?) (StupidCelebrities)

Amy Winehouse’s Double Trouble Combo (CelebritySmack)

Amy is a size queen, too! (CelebWarship)

Gretchen Mol gives birth to ancient Egyptian pharaoh (EvilBeet)

Eve, barefaced (Bossip)

Michael Lohan feels blessed by celebrity (PerezHilton)

Larry Craig, “creative financier” (Queerty)

Attention Spice World fans: Announcing Documentary Spice! (JustJared)

The tabloid roundup (Jezebel)

Demi Moore’s 2000 pounds of silicone (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jessica Biel is womanhandled (HolyCandy)

Mischa Barton shows her Sapphic side, too (DailyStab)

Britney loses visitation rights (TMZ)

Owen Wilson off the smack, on the Patron Silver (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay’s got a ring on her finger! (EvilBeet)

RIP Deborah Kerr: An Actress to Remember (GabbyBabble)

Norwegian wouldn’t: Amy Winehouse arrested in Bergen (HolyMoly)

The Michael Jackson/Teri Hatcher convertible Halloween mask (Defamer)

Joely Richardson makes Karen Carpenter look chubby (DailyMail)

Uma Thurman steals Britney’s look (HollywoodTuna)

Ben Affleck is gone, baby, gone (Mollygood)

Celebrity Moms on Parade: Jennifer Garner, Katie Holmes, Angelina Jolie, Julianne Moore, Maggie Gyllenhaal (yes, that’s her!!) and Kate Winslet (I’mNotObsessed)

Alice Evans in costume as The Widow Cobain (GoFugYourself)

David Beckham is ready to play the field (ASocialite’sLife)

Last remaining Rat Packer packs it in (WOWReport)

The man must have something. He’s inspired girlfriend Lindsay Lohan to make him a custom-fitted and very contemporary Halloween costume.