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Robert Pattinson in Brownout Link Shocker

Robert Pattinson attempts to bring back the Reagan Brown Suit

Robert Pattinson attempts to bring back the Reagan Brown Suit

Oh dear god. Sweet jeebus. Normally, I kind of love RPattz: he looks like he would have an unfortunate tang if it were a warm day, something like the bottom of a pub ashtray, but normally he’s just crazy enough to keep it interesting, unlike his co-stars (Tai the elephant excepted: if she’s good enough for Banksy, she’s good enough for me). But while he may have been talked into wearing this diarrhea-coloured monstrosity on the general principle that “a suit is dressy” a significant part of me hopes that halfway through a beer-laden schnitzelfest he ripped it in pieces and ran down the cobblestones naked and cackling. If he didn’t, please don’t inform me.

Now I am going to drown my sorrows with a Boilermaker or ten and some gossip links.

Tiling tigers: trippy! (raincoaster)

Bling it on! Talk about an accessory to crime! (Ayyyy)

Sunday food porn: Canadian Content chez Timmy’s (ManoloFood)

Renee Zellweger’s smile secret (Lolebrity)

Beach Reads: everyone’s dirty secret (Crasstalk)

Ozzy Osbourne loses it. Who knew he’d ever found it in the first place? (AgentBedhead)

Lady Gaga’s Truth or Dare! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Robert Pattinson blah blah OH MY GOD NOT A BROWN SUIT!!!! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Pink and a half! (CelebritySmack)

A grizzly (mama) look at Julianne Moore as Sarah Palin (CelebrityVIPLounge)

My Big, Cheap Royal Wedding pictures (FreakingNews)

Sadly, neither were hurt in the attack (DailyStab)

But she IS addicted to Kabbalah water! (EarSucker)

Survivor recap included because that guy is HOT! (FitFabCeleb)

Justin Timberlake will not beFriendWithBenefit you (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Blake Lively sees red (HaveUHeard)

The trailer is out for the Final Harry Potter movie (HollywoodHiccups)

Beyonce Scrooged 70 people this Christmas (INeedMyFix)

Jillian Michaels’ ass-ironing secrets (MathewGuiver)

A thousand bucks does not include Britney (PoorBritney)

The Jersey Shore is replicating!!! (PopBytes)

Jon Hamm admires the view (Swoonworthy)

Now, if only we could get the REST of her to vanish as well (TheSkinnyChic)

 

4 girls 1 cup

42375, ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA - Thursday July 8, 2010. Salma Hayek and her 2 year old daughter Valentina enjoy a trip to Disneyland with a few friends. Valentina is Salma's daughter with husband Francois-Henri Pinault. Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com


Salma Hayek and her friends and family present your wholesome gossip links for today.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail: I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

Dolph Lundgren is the King of Rock and Roll (raincoaster)
Friday Caption Contest: Macho Murse Edition (Ayyyy)
This is why you will be fat (AgentBedhead)
Roger Federer’s bottle service (BusyBeeBlogger)
Hot Guy Friday (Celebitchy)
Happy Birthday, MPerr! (CelebrityFashionWatcher)
Timberlake is officially middle-aged (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Brigitte Nielsen is ageless (CelebritySmack)
Tatty Baby Daddy game (CityRag)
Steve Jobs can prevent porn on your iPhone, but he can’t stop this (DListed)
Betty White to destroy Dan Brown at the bookstore (HaveUHeard)
Kat Von D is unique (INeedMyFix)
The Kids in the Hall of the Funeral Home (SeriouslyOMG)

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Yesterdays…

Britney and Justin: The King and Queen of the Trailer Park Prom

Britney and Justin: The King and Queen of the Trailer Park Prom

via snuh: imgoingtohellforthis:1:2:3:4:5:2831

If you were wondering where my Monday blog posts were, let’s just say that we all have days we’d rather forget.

We shall never speak of this again.

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Hump Day Links: These Colors Don’t Clash Edition

Snow Boarding

Shaun White ignores, to his credit, traditional advice for pattern on pattern.

Sven Kramer pwns NBC (raincoaster)

Padma’s pads (Lolebrity)

Suicide Girls Must Die (AgentBedhead)

Mel B. is 1/2 the wacko Britney was (AmyGrindhouse)

Colin Firth insufficiently gay for Tom Ford (BusyBeeBlogger)

Johnny Weir is too sexy for Vangroover (CeleBitchy)

Ali Lohan -> Dita von Teese? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

The Return of Cinnabun (CelebritySmack)

When Cougars Attack, starring Demi Moore and Susan Sarandon (CityRag)

Ewan McGregor is Out (DailyStab)

Flying Tomato drops bomb (Gawker)

The Return of Harriet Carter Wednesday (IBBB)

Kate Moss coulda been a neurosurgeon (INeedMyFix)

Do you want fries with that? (GoFugYourself)

Celine’s overshare will go on (Lainey)

Britney’s sour Candies (DListed)

We’re on a boat! (JustJared)

They’ve Lost the plot (Movieline)

The tears of a Canuck (PerezHilton)

Whatchootalkinbout Gary Coleman (SeriouslyOMG)

Twihardgasm! (TenGossip)

Justin Timberlake wants you to put a sock in it (ASL)

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Hump Day Links: Upstaged!

hugh and ava jackman

Ava Jackman demonstrates that the ability to upstage one’s costars is genetic.

Katy Perry shows that Santa really IS coming (Lolebrity)

Daniel Radcliffe’s bum career (AgentBedhead)

Tiger is hiding his wood in several different club bags (AmyGrindhouse)

Bridget dumps Bernie, moves on to Bernice (BWE)

Dave Navarro OWNS the celebrity blogosphere (BBB)

Sarah Jessica Parker hiring nannies from sweatshops? (CeleBitchy)

George Michael OWNS celebrity Christmas music (PopBytes)

Mickey Rourke takes another prize (HolyMoly)

Oh noes! JT has a mini-fro! (LitelySalted)

Kingston Rossdale has a fauxhawk (CelebritySmack)

The gayest video of all time? (Crunk+Disorderly)

Marilyn Monroe and Maryjane (DailyStab)

The Hills, the comic book (Gawker)

Goth Skater Cocktail Chic (GoFugYourself)

Whitney Houston LOVES awards (FourFour)

Happy Birthday Britney (GabbyBabble)

John Mayer really cares about our Golden Couple (EvilBeet)

Susan Boyle is unstoppable (DListed)

Mischa Barton, soon to appear on Oprah (INO)

Jessica Simpson, Not Working (Justjared)

Sandra Bullock plays quarterback (Movieline)

Help John Mellencamp quit smoking (SeriouslyOMG)

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Hump Day Links

In the spirit of Celebrity Dad Faceoff and The Monday Hotness, and with an acknowledging fist-bump to the literary meme going around the Manolosphere, we present Hump Day Links. Uh, no reason I chose that title.

And for, uh, no particular reason other than – ah – my proper esteem for public intellectuals, today I present:

The Men of Vanity Fair

michael lewis, yum!

Michael Lewis

William Langewiesche may hate Canadians, but I’ll get him trained

William Langewiesche

Sebastian Junger has a big spear

Sebastian Junger

Uhhh, what was I saying? Right, public intellectuals and literacy and all like that there. Yeah, Dorothy Parker is my homegirl.

I don’t know about you, but I could use a refreshing Cold Shower after that! Now, to the hunk hump links!

Cool nekkid vamps (AgentBedhead)

Guess the hottie (AmyGrindhouse)

Soon to be the biggest-selling gift item ever (BricksAndStones)

Dexter, killer dad (BusyBeeBlogger)

Tots for t*ts (LaughingStork)

RPattz just needs the love of a good six-pack (CeleBitchy)

Clooney, Crawford, and choppers (AccidentalSexiness)

Tom Brady’s sports sisters (CelebritySmack)

Gerard Butler forecasts hot and humid! (TenGossip)

Simon Cowell takes another victim (DailyStab)

Sherlocked Up Holmes (Gawker)

Peter Andre loses 140lbs (GabbyBabble)

Douglas Family Values (EvilBeet)

Gerard Butler has something to tell you (DListed)

Justin Timberlake hits the Open Road (INO)

Leo, topless (JustJared)

The man who invented Himbos (Movieline)

Heath Ledger’s King Rat (UKPopSugar)

Jack Nicholson, party animal (SeriouslyOMG)

It’s a MAN, BABY! (HolyMoly)

Ryan Reynolds, topless (Websters)

Oh, and uh, Graydon Carter, of course:

Graydon Carter, go take off your pjs and put on some proper pants!

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Post-Christmas Port Links

Donate your used cellphones and cameras to a good cause (FearlessCity)

ScarJo’s snot ‘spensive! (AgentBedhead)

Kate Beckinsale picks up the mantle of Eartha Kitt (AmyGrindhouse)

KFed sure can pick ’em! (CelebWarship)

The 12 Blogs of the Lohan Family (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Santa brought Prince William a beard for Christmas (CeleBitchy)

Winehouse in St.Lucia, not in rehab (CelebritySmack)

Jessica Simpson has hope! (DailyStab)

The Flack Awards (Defamer)

Blogs are dead! (DListed)

War of the Bootsies! (EvilBeet)

Lance Armstrong to be babydaddy (CandyKirby)

Orlando Bloom is a biker for God (JustJared)

Late Christmas present (UKPopSugar)

and another pressie (SeriouslyOMG)

One more reason to hate Paris Hilton (Websters)

The Renaissance of Georgette Mosbacher (WOWReport)

Neat Links

It was a dark and stormy night, and all the crew were gathered in the cabin. The captain turned to the first mate and said, “Pass the Laphroaig, please.”

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: historical hunk edition (TeenyManolo)

Item #38 in Things You Already Knew: Madonna hates America (AgentBedhead)

Malawi strikes back! (CeleBitchy)

Melissa Etheridge is back on the market whether she likes it or not! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Julia Hudson is a whackadoodle (CelebritySmack)

Anne Hathaway has some freaky pen friends (DailyStab)

Courtney Love is easily confused (Defamer)

The Return of Britney Spears (DListed)

On Karl’s iPod (FakeKarl)

Katy Perry is no Grace Jones (GoFugYourself)

Justin and Britney reunited under adult supervision (IBBB)

Suri Cruise has a message for you (CandyKirby)

Russell Brand got thrown out of England (UKPopSugar)

Nicole Kidman is just jealous (Websters)

Zac Efron is literal-minded, not dirty-minded! (Yeeeeah)

Life lessons from Judge Judy (Jezebel)

Courting Condi (Mollygood)

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