Robin Williams wins the internet today.

I think I wore it better! twitter.com/robinwilliams/…

— Robin Williams (@robinwilliams) May 8, 2013

And as if simple visuals weren’t enough to snag him the victory cup in this playoff, it’s doubtful he’s ever lied about being a Size Four.

Kim Kardashian

As you can clearly see, KK takes a no holds bra’d approach to maternity wear. That strapless bra hasn’t been a good idea in about…oh, four consonants at least.

Kim K maternity pairs figure skate outfit

And as she shifts her gaze wistfully downward, past the figure skater at a funeral fashion disaster, Kim wonders, “Will I ever see my feet again?”

Karashian baby belly

Trust a Kardashian to get the most basic things wrong. You don’t pump gas in $500 open-toed heels, and you don’t carry the baby in your ass.

Kim Kardashian Ostrich

Here’s the young and lovely Kim Kardashian aka Tawdry Hepburn modeling the latest in maternity ostriches and leggings from the Teen Mom collection at Frederick’s of Hollywood. Do you think she’ll start a trend? Let us all pray not.

Kim Kardashian Slutty Librarian

Oh! My! God!

Whodathunkit?

Kim Kardashian went as the Slutty Librarian!

(we remind you this was lunch, and we hope no real librarians or diners lost theirs)

God help us. Fortunately, two brave souls took on this travesty and we have a winner!

Tawdry Hepburn rides again

Jarrah October 21, 2012 at 7:38 pm

She had the pants. Now she just needed to track down the hat to complete her Sexy Mountie Halloween costume.

Congratulations and lashings of imaginary swag to winner and first-time entrant Jarrah! For the hypothetical presentation of the virtual trophy, we select this 14Ky Canada Maple Leaf Charm and a date with Ryan Reynolds. Congratulations on manifesting your own destiny!

KK hey

Do your best/worst in the comment section.