Archive - Karl Lagerfeld RSS Feed

Oh, Coco!

Karl Lagerfeld reportedly thinks that Coco Chanel would not have liked him. “I never bumped into Coco Chanel. It was better that way, she would have hated me,” he said to a rapt audience of students, none of whom were born when he took over designing for the House of Chanel. The changes he’s put in place to modernize the company and keep the designs fresh would have appalled and infuriated the irascible prot0-feminist founder. He added, “Some people say elegance is dead. They’re wrong. It has a new face.”

Miranda Kerr for Chanel

Miranda Kerr for Chanel

Dear Uncle Karl: That ain’t it.

PS, the face is up here!

Madame Tussaud’s Finest Hour

MoneGASP! Royal Family.

MoneGASP! Royal Family.

Designer Karl Lagerfeld stares grimly at the latest exhibition in the House of Wax. Sure, he recognizes Princess Caroline and her brother, along with his corpse bride. And who doesn’t know Natalia Vodyanova, even in that ghastly lipstick? Alas, M. Arnault there looks more like a youthful Griffin Dunne, while unfortunately, none of the attendants was able to enlighten Uncle Karl as to the reason the Stockard Channing figurine on the far left was included in the display.

Uncle Karl wants you

karl wants you

karl wants you

It’s been too long since we’ve checked in with our old friend Terrifying Uncle Karl. Here he is in all his sandblasted glory, from the tip of his ponytailed pompadour to the tips of his shit-kickers, not forgetting the fingerless hacker gloves made from the foreskins of stillborn T-Rexes.He would like you to lose weight. He would like you to dress better.

He would like you to look carefully at his tie pin. He just needs a routine retinal scan for his files. Look into the light. Remain calm. Now forget everything you ever knew about Target, mortgage your house, and go straight to Chanel. Now move along.

What? You think that wasn’t a truly horrifying scenario? You want to see a truly horrifying scenario? I was trying to protect you from it, but if you must: Click here.

Karl’s Konversion

Princess Choupette and Uncle Karl

Princess Choupette and Uncle Karl

Look at that poor face: it says HELP ME! ONE MORE TRANSFUSION AND HIS TRANSFORMATION WILL BE IRREVERSABLE!!!

Post-Friday Caption Contest: Karl Kaption Kontest

You know what to do: do it to Kreeper Karl in the Komments!

Karl Kaption Kontest

Karl Kaption Kontest

Snow Bargain

We here at Manolosphere Global HQ were thrilled to the soles of our Manolos at the news that our beloved Uncle Karl Lagerfeld will be snowglobeified for Sephora’s Asian and European customers this year. Alas, Kaiser Karl has not allowed his gold-flecked mini-me to be sold to vulgar old Yanks, Meskins, or Canuckistanis. In these revolutionary times, I suggest we strike back! Fabulous (and fabulously-overpriced) ironic snow globes for EVERYONE!

Instead of this:

Snow matter

Snow matter

Buy this:

Yes. A $190, completely empty snow globe from Maison Martin Margiela. It perfectly represents our time: the emperor got dressed and put his hood up.

Teri Hatcher’s reverting to type

Surely I’m not the only one who sees this.
Teri Hatcher's Forehead of DoomIs there a new Star Trek in the pipeline?

Some people will do ANYTHING to get a part, I’m telling you. Playing politics is a big part of Hollywood, I guess.

Obama has Osama’s paperwork (raincoaster)

We need a decision: which of these classic beauties wore it better (Ayyyy)

Karl Lagerfeld brings the chocolate…if not the taste (ManoloFood)

Mission Accomplished 2.0 (Lolebrity)

Can we get Hamlet updated for bodybuilders? Yes, yes we can. (AgentBedhead)

Can Obama protect us from Charlie Sheen, Free Agent? (BusyBeeBlogger)

Can he get us a good, cheap date? Or do we have to stoop to this date-bidding site? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

PARDON RICK SPRINGFIELD!!! (CelebritySmack)

Can Obama provide a DNA sample? We’re trying to figure out who fathered January Jones’ child (CelebVIPLounge)

Bieber safety: an international concern. Should we take it to the UN? (DailyStab)

Declare Beckam’s Birthday a national holiday! (DippedinCream)

SAVE JENNIFER HUDSON! She is headed for oblivion! (EarSucker)

Can Obama get Miley Cyrus to keep it in her pants? (FitFabCeleb)

Ban the ballcap! Celebrities can afford better, surely? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Can Obama capture the Canadian terrorist Justin Bieber (HaveUHeard)

In the name of all that is holy, STOP THE CELEBRITY NEPOTISM (HollywoodHiccups)

Can Obama save little Jaden Smith from a life of child labour? (INeedMyFix)

Can he get me an invitation to Goldie Hawn’s ranch, too? (MathewGuiver)

Will he appoint Britney Ambassador? (PoorBritney)

Can we lock Lohan up and throw away the key? (PopBytes)

America needs heroes like these! (SwoonWorthy)

Fight hunger! Feed the celebrities! (TheSkinny)

 

The Bad Fairy

Truly hath the poet and wise man said that no royal wedding, christening, or restraining order hearing is complete without a Bad Fairy. Given the charmed lives led by heir to the British throne and his intended bride, and the fact that his Great-Aunt Margaret is dead, there is no particularly obvious candidate for the office. We in the Manolosphere would like to present our own official candidate for this office:

Tara “I’m a drug addict, not a pedophile” Palmer-Tomkinson.

Co-starring with Mickey Rourke in The Boxer?

Co-starring with Mickey Rourke in The Boxer?

Cocaine is a helluva drug, people, and with an $800 dollar a day habit it doesn’t matter how many nose jobs you throw at it; you’re essentially throwing good money after bad cartilage. Tara, the woman once rumoured to have taken Prince William’s virginity, is invited to the wedding, but wants to get her nose done first. At this point, however, it becomes a Michael Jackson situation: there needs to be something there to work on in the first place.

Let’s toast Tara’s heart’s desire with your choice of a Mad Fairy cocktail or a Donkey’s Nob (made with Coke, of course).

And some gossip links:

Rebecca Black is SO JEALOUS of this woman (raincoaster)

Hugh Jass has nothing on this guy (Lolebrity)

Karl Lagerfeld, now *I* want to kill you (Ayyyy)

Vodka: is there anything it can’t do? (Manolofood)

The Anti-Gwyneth makes a mean Monte Cristo (AgentBedhead)

I’d cut off her head for that hat (BusyBeeBlogger)

There was an Octomom who lived in a shoe(box)... (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Did anyone see Perez Hilton or Michael Lohan at the scene of the crime? (CelebritySmack)

Princess Margaret is dead, so who will be the bad fairy? (CelebVIPLounge)

Kim Kardashian, Turkey, these things write themselves (DailyStab)

Courtney Cox is no Friend! (EarSucker)

Rebecca Blacklash! (FitFabCeleb)

PETA will get her! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Who harshes on Robin Sweetest Man In Showbiz Williams and lives???? (HaveUHeard)

Planet Earth takes Lady Gaga DOWN! (HollywoodHiccups)

Tinkerbell’s new rival (INeedMyFix)

Fix! Fix! The fix is in at People! (MathewGuiver)

Old Britney vs New Britney (PoorBritney)

 

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