Ayyyy!

“Lance meets the mom!” crow the headlines, thus providing the official stamp of approval on the burgeoning love between Lance Armstrong and Kate Hudson.  But what is really going on in this post-lunch scene?
(a) Lance is happily watching Goldie walk away as only a man who has dated scores of hot blondes can do
(b) Kate seems aghast at the size of her mom’s ass, as if it were a grim portent of things to come.
(c) One of the photographers has just spotted the image of Virgin Mary on Goldie’s behind
(d) Like the rest of us, Goldie has had quite enough of this couple and needs to lie down

Kiefer Sutherland, engaged(?) is eager to demonstrate his kwyut diggnitty (lolebrity)

Katherine Heigl bites the hand that feeds (Defamer)

Obama’s firing! Obama’s hiring! (Gawker)

Blaaaaaaaake Incaaaaaaaaarcerated takes out a hit on Pete Doherty (AgentBedhead)

Daniel Craig gives Quantum of Solace the finger, or part of it (SeriouslyOMG)

Why do insects hate America? (CandyKirby)

George Clooney hates fake boobs (CelebritySmack)

Mark Wahlberg and everyone in England hates David Beckham (POTP)

Michael Madsen’s wife beat him up (Mollygood)

Cameron Diaz pitches a fit over a tee (CeleBitchy)

Jolie vs Aniston, coming soon to a theatre near you (DListed)

Alanis Morissette will make you weep for her, dammit! (Websters)

Cat vs Cake Box (CityRag)

Catalogue of the Damned (IBBB)

Clare Danes distains the paparazzi (ImNotObsessed)

Kate Hudson’s son is hatefully handsy (DailyStab)

Lindsay Lohan in Pains (DanasDirt)

Cheeta has been Cheeted! (PerezHilton)

Chris Martin vs Brad Pitt (JustJared)

Kate Hudson on her son’s predilection for disrobing the opposite sex with his pudgy little hands:

“I’m working on trying to get him off being interested in female parts. He thinks it’s hilarious when he pulls off my shirt. It’s started – the interest in boobies.”

Well that goes some way towards explaining the dress below.  When confronted with an overly curious toddler, bombard him with a relentless barrage of colours and shapes. He will get very easily confused like that, thus laying the groundwork for his adult dating years.

Blind-or-maybe-just-nearsighted Item: Jason Lewis’s stinky ex (AgentBedhead)

Christina Ricci cat iz disapprovin (Lolebrity)

George Clooney is a free man! (CelebritySmack)

Woody Harrelson, recreational hunger striker (HolyMoly)

David Banda now officially belongs to Madonna (DListed)

Kim Cattrall is ready for a SATC rematch sequel! (ImNotObsessed)

Bale’s tale of batshiat batsuit costume claustrophobia (DailyStab)

Rachel Ray, terrorist (HollywoodBackwash)

Dad of the Year KFed loses one of the brood at Disneyland (HollyWire)

Mariah Carey pitches…I always thought she was more of a catcher? (CandyKirby)

Gary Dourdan admits guilt (POTP)

Celebrity tattoo horror show (Defamer)

Not just pretzels: President Bush’s history of substance abuse? (Gawker)

Ashlee (Simpson-)Wentz is sperminated (EvilBeet)

Jessica Biel is still prettier than you (Websters)

Amy Winehouse’s babysitter fired for crack, her lyrics being studied at Cambridge. You know. The usual (UKPopSugar)

Is Kate Hudson dating for revenge? (CeleBitchy)

Picasso’s got a lot of dough (Lolebrity)

The problem with Pete Doherty’s crotch (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Lopez does not care about your dying mom (Gawker)

The Fresh Prince of Calabasas goes back to high school (Defamer)

John McCain’s melanoma (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The real-life blade runner wins Olympic appeal (Disembedded)

Nikki Cox’s incredible inflating face (Websters)

Gwyneth Paltrow is tall, gorgeous, and leaking (Jezebel)

Full-frontal fellas (DListed)

Party animals Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse party with animals (SeriouslyOMG)

Brangelina’s kids are pregnant! (CandyKirby)

Denzel Washington gets the House of Wax treatment (ImNotObsessed)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Viggo vs Denzel (TeenyManolo)

Mischa Barton’s specialty underpants (DailyStab)

The Gary Busey trading card! (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Kiefer Sutherland…what was I saying? *swoon* (CityRag)

Paris Hilton in rickrack attack! (CelebritySmack)

NKOTB -> OKOTTV (Mollygood)

raincoaster haz a famus (FamousPeople)

Lance Armstrong picks up Owen Wilson’s sloppy seconds (PerezHilton)

One has been named as “People’s Most Beautiful”, the other should be crowned as “People’s Most Stupid Fool”.

George Clooney’s bedroom habits (CelebuWreck)

Olsen fetus rocks the lamb fetus (IBBB)

Amy Winehouse celebrates 4:20 (CelebrityDirt)

Kate Hudson is ageing, should get her hands off my man (BittenAndBound)

James Bond’s car cannot swim (Jalopnik)

“Forbidden Kingdom” permitted (Defamer)

Texas Polygamist Wives Calendar (BestWeekEver)

Charlie Rose on Charlie Rose on the Internet by Samuel Beckett (Valleywag)

Ewan MacGregor’s daily grind (DailyStab)

Tom Cruise works it like it’s 1989 (AgentBedhead)

Disney Princes: rated R for “rawwwwr!” (TeenyManolo)

Sandra Bullock and Jesse James hit by drunk driver (CelebritySmack)

Lilo drunko, lezbo, yo (EvilBeet)

Pete Doherty may not be the world’s most responsible tenant. Shock! Horror! (CeleBitchy)

The Mona Lisa exploited! (Gawker)

McDreamy at Made of Honor premiere (JustJared)

DC is anti-fun! (PerezHilton)

Jen Aniston cheaps out on Oprah? (Mollygood)

The Cruise family triplets (Defamer)

Jennifer Aniston’s Plan C (HollywoodOffender)

Angelina Jolie’s gestational diabetes (CelebrityDirt)

Paris Hilton wins contest she was born to conquer (GabbyBabble)

Drunkblogging The Hills (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Stuff Young Jewish Adults Like (StuffYoungJewishAdultsLike)

Hillary’s hidden heroism! (Gawker.com)

raincoaster, revealed (TheGrassyKnollInstitute)

“There’s no-one bigger than Johnny.” (AgentBedhead)

The ageless and well-lubricated beauty of Priscilla Presley (CircusHour)

Flying penguins discovered (BBC)

Kate Hudson baits her Owen Wilson trap with babies, apartments (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Lara Flynn Boyle’s face: a medical opinion (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jessica Alba is practicing parenting on loaner charity children (Bastardly)

Keith Richards admits to drug use. No, not an April Fool’s story! (TheRadReport)

At least somebody still wants Britney Spears (DailyStab)

Cindy Crawford is immortal (CelebritySmack)