What a…dishevelled…way to be ringing in Virgin Atlantic’s 25th anniversary. Are we sure that they’re not just celebrating entry into the Mile High Club?

I really should invest the time in finding a site or two with good nonalcoholic drinks recipes if I’m going to keep up this clean living thing, shouldn’t I?

Uwe Boll will not be kept down (AgentBedhead)

Mariah Carey rocks the Grade 7 look (AmyGrindhouse)

Kiefer Sutherland is calling me (BusyBeeBlogger)

Golddigger dug herself a hole (CeleBitchy)

The Prince of Paris (CelebritySmack)

Eve is transracial (CelebuWreck)

LiRo? SamLo? LOL! (HolyMoly)

Inaho/Kate Moss/sushi; make up your own punny headline (UKPopSugar)

Michelle Obama in Time (DailyStab)

Cher! Xtina! Burlesque! What more do you need to know? (DListed)

Harriet Carter’s magical doorway to the past (IBBB)

When stars attack…fans (SeriouslyOMG)

Is there a telethon for Lambertitis? (TenGossip)

Live without regrets…except that mis-spelled tattoo (Websters)

Working till dawn and need a little pick-me-up? You could do worse than a Tequila Sunrise. Or maybe you couldn’t?

Tequila is really like a choose-your-own-adventure novel except everyone has the same ending:

Emotionally distraught-> drinking in large quantities sounds like a good idea -> you are so not getting back together with this person so stop trying -> puke.

You’re barely legal -> cheap shots at the bar provided by strangers -> dancing on said bar -> puke.

Where was I? For some reason really fuzzy this morning…

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Burton vs McQueen (TeenyManolo)

Paris Hilton, Global Village Idiot (Websters)

Gamer on! (TenGossip)

Affleck amok! (ASL)

Channing Tatum Fighting! (JustJared)

A minute Mike Myers moment (SeriouslyOMG)

Kate Winslet vs the Daily Mail (INO)

Holy cow (WizbangPop)

Kate Moss needs help finding a man (UKPopSugar)

Jack Black’s on-set orgy (GetLippy)

Rihanna, pixillated (HolyMoly)

Karl Lagerfeld on Twitter (FakeKarl)

anal bleaching is the new Kazakhstan? (Movieline)

Megan Fox is, like, smart (EvilBeet)

Intern George’s Fug cocktail (GoFugYourself)

Free Chocolate (DailyStab)

Stark Trek trailer (AgentBedhead)

The Oprah riots, dissected (AmyGrindhouse)

Katy Perry is on fiyah! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Porn star or network anchor quiz (Gawker)

Now imagine trying to exit a spacecraft while wearing the same thing. Zero gravity is like paradise for those pesky upskirt photographers!

No, I’m not drinking it. I’m just promoting it for a good cause. One must enter into the spirit of things, as it were!

Dora, the Gender Stereotype Explorer (AgentBedhead)

Chris Brown does not understand the meaning of “misdemeanor” (AmyGrindhouse)

Hayden Pannettiere doesn’t know what she does for a living (CandyKirby)

Britney Spears’s uterus makes a break for it (CelebWarship)

Forgive me, Xenu, for I have sinned (CeleBitchy)

Give me your tired, your poor, but not your Amy Winehouse (AllieIsWired)

Donald Trump talks sense? (CelebritySmack)

The LA Kings are truly desperate (CelebuWreck)

Drew Barrymore’s new job: Kate Moss impersonator (DListed)

Jimmy Kimmel is not f*cking Sarah Silverman (EvilBeet)

Matt Damon, centurion (GabbyBabble)

Reese Witherspoon deliberately upstages costar (JustJared)

The Princes of Hearts at large (UKPopSugar)

Betty White is Always Prepared (SeriouslyOMG)

as if Travis Barker doesn’t have enough problems (Websters)

The best Peaches Geldof beatdown you’ll read all damn day (HolyMoly)

Yep, still living pure. Cocoa, fresh vegetables, whole grains, and the finest flu and cold medicines known to mankind. I’m seeing quadruple!

Om nom nom Lohan (Websters)

Jesse Metcalfe brings the Elvis Hair (TenGossip)

Heidi Klum shows off her panties (ASL)

Robin Williams’ unscheduled downtime (SeriouslyOMG)

Daryl Hannah still exists! (PopBytes)

Kate Moss isn’t pregnant and DON’T YOU FORGET IT (UKPopSugar)

The 25 stupidest outfits ever (BWE)

Nikki Taylor 2.0 (ImNotObsessed)

Angelina goes blonde (IBBB)

Life IS like High School Musical reunions (GoFugYourself)

The 80′s really are back (EvilBeet)

Radiohead puts Miley Cyrus in her place (Lainey)

Michael Jackson concerts announced, chaos to ensue (HolyMoly)

Jennifer Aniston a botox-free zone? (DailyStab)

Kardashians putting the “ass” in “class” again (CelebritySmack)

Octomom production tape for sale (AmyGrindhouse)

Juliette Lewis, the hardest-working Scientologist in showbusiness (AgentBedhead)

All I can say is, I’d better damn well be losing weight. Tofu, people! I’m consuming tofu! Of my own free will!

Has it come to this?

Katy Perry kissed a girl and broke a mirror (Websters)

Are Ellen and Josh the new Kiki and Herb? (TenGossip)(raincoaster)

Kate Hudson recycles (ASL)

Courtney Love, put that back where it belongs! (SeriouslyOMG)

Courtney’s sandblasting not party-resistant (PopBytes)

Unicorn chaser: Tiger Woods is a daddy again (WizbangPop)

Beyonce hates her feet? (UKPopSugar)

The Rihanna/Chris Brown lesson (EvilBeet)

ARoid (CandyKirby)

SJP goes dark (JustJared)

Brace yourself for Fantasia (IBBB)

I dream of … Maiysha? (GoFugYourself)

Kate Winslet worships her bum (GabbyBabble)

It’s Jennifer Aniston’s party and she’ll cry if she wants to (HolyMoly)

Madonna reenacts the Pieta (Defamer)

Kate Moss has met her Evil Understudy (AgentBedhead)

Britney burgled? (CeleBitchy)

Do you think any of these people could hold down a real job? (CelebritySmack)

Sometimes the week needs a Bronx cheer sendoff, and this is one of those weeks.

In a world with Lily Allen, why does anyone still hate Sinead O’Connor? (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Cary Grant vs Marlon Brando (TeenyManolo)

Esquire’s rip away Obamaface (AmyGrindhouse)

Oprah takes the cake (BWE)

Boy George really DID want to hurt him (CelebWarship)

Courtney Love hates heebs, in Heeb (CeleBitchy)

Also hates Grandma (DailyStab)

Barack Obama’s letter to his daughters (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Fabio Lives! (CelebritySmack)

The recession comes to Sundance (Defamer)

Lindsay and Ali Lohan pill shopping (DListed)

Joaquin Phoenix is the next Vanilla Ice (EvilBeet)

Johnny Depp will bring The Doctor back (TheRadReport)

Juliette Lewis is the best agent L.Ron Hubbard ever had! (HolyMoly)

Kate Moss turns 35 (CandyKirby)

Wilson Philips on the comeback trail? (GabbyBabble)

The world’s greatest motivational video (YouTube)

Audrina’s surprise package (IBBB)

Ricky Martin rocks the Boy George Bag Man look (JustJared)

Russell Brand, the next Simon Cowell? (UKPopSugar)

Jonas panty raid! (Websters)