Ayyyy!

YOU don’t know how to cure constipation! Tom Cruise DOES! (Youtube)

And Adam Sandler knows Tom Cruise…or at least is willing to blurb on his behalf (EvilBeet)

The Tom Cruise Scientology video you haven’t seen! (YouTube)(for now!)

Quiz: Who’s your TV boyfriend? (CelluloidBlonde)

Attention bloggers: Adopt A Writer! (AdoptAWriter)

Brit-onomics: how Britney Spears feeds multitudes (Defamer)

How not to be Heath Ledger (Gawker)

Britney is sick “in a good way,” feeling philosophical (TMZ)

Rambo vs the Governator (AgentBedhead)

Kate Moss looks like her mother (DailyStab)

George Clooney goes after Britney with a baseball bat (AllieIsWired)

Ashley Olsen always looks like you’re about to hit her with a stick (ImNotObsessed)

The Hannah Montana terrorist has been arrested (TrashyCeleb)

Jennifer Love Hewitt tells you 10 things you don’t know about women (POTP)

Dolly Parton’s plastic surgery roundup (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Stephen Colbert gets the Mount Rushmore treatment (CelebritySmack)

Anderson Cooper puts his foot down on the Heath Ledger mania (HolyCandy)

Was Katie Holmes pregnant before meeting Tom Cruise? (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Britney gave Drew Barrymore a run for her money (NinjaDude)

McDreamy in uniform, sigh… (PerezHilton)

Pamela Anderson is a vegetarian dish past its freshness date (Copyranter)

RIP Suzanne Pleshette (Defamer)

Diane Keaton, speed freak (Gawker)

William “The Shat” Shatner throws some tude (AgentBedhead )

Bindi and Britney in the bush? (IBBB)

Amy Winehouse airs out the “Breakdown Bra” (CelebWarship)

Kiefer is free! Kiefer is free! (CelebritySmack)

Nicole Kidman may be laying off the Botox (Dlisted)

Pete Doherty, deflowerer? Babydaddy? (GabbyBabble)

Osama bin Laden’s son is a Eurotrash Trustafarian Hippie (Jezebel)

Celebrity Hair Remixes (CityRag)

Charlize Theron is an actress, not a cartographer, dammit! (ASocialitesLife)

Hello??? Britney Spears? (HolyCandy)

Sundance red carpet pix. Bob Redford rolls over in his grave and he’s not even dead yet (ImNotObsessed)

Preggo JLo does not do flats, yo! (Mollygood)

Britney shows up! Whoa!!!! (ICYDK)

Kate Moss is a bad, bad girl (NewsOfTheWorld)

The Albino Wino has more drugs than a Walgreens! (PerezHilton)

Lily Allen miscarriage (PerezHilton)

Was Gywneth Paltrow’s hospital visit pregnancy-related? (HollywoodBackwash)

B52s release a new album (WOWReport)

Pete Doherty wears lingerie (Yeeeeah)

Or maybe he goes commando (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse’s husband is a Mommy’s Boy (CelebWarship)

Diddy needs a new parasol valet (ASocialitesLife)

Piven buys dresses for women he’s never met (Mollygood)

Tara Reid; your drunk boobie pix roundup (Cityrag)

Sarah Jessica Parker pretends she didn’t have a nose job (ImNotObsessed)

There’s more than one Britney Spears? OH NOES! (JustJared)

Oprah fires Dr Phil’s Britney-bandwagon-jumping opportunistic Texas ass (Popbytes)

Hasselhoff holidays in rehab, lives out Fairytale of New York (CeleBitchy)

Rachel Ray throws coffee diva fit (HolyCandy)

Kate Moss, now appearing as Slutty Professor Trelawney (GoFugYourself)

The Albino Wino goes haywire (DListed)

Everybody wants Britney dead (Defamer)

Johnny Depp dresses down for Paris (CelebritySmack)

Meta! Article on how people don’t read (Gawker)

Joan Collins, rock of ages (Jezebel)

Slim Shady goes dark (WendyWayrad)

Kate Moss parties with preschooler on New Year’s Eve (TheJellyfisher)

Attention: Britney Spears is a big deal (Webster’s)

Amy Winehouse plans post-prison baby with her self-cutting old man (Celebitchy)

George Clooney’s dual-fisted red carpet action! (TheMeatScale)

Amy Winehouse hits the (peroxide) bottle hard (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Pamela Anderson demoting “husband” to “babydaddy” (Dlisted)

Paula Abdul flips out, speaks in tongues. Who knew she was Evangelical? (CelebWarship)

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s date at Chuck E. Cheese (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Mariah Carey, speed (dating) freak (HollywoodRag)

Britney scores a quin-fecta! (Mollygood)

Johnny Depp is the cover of the Rolling Stone (PopSugar)

Halle Berry wants to stay pregnant forever! (ShowbizSpy)

Joey Buttafuoco’s sex tape scandal (EvilBeet)

Avril Lavigne is knocked up (IsThisHappening)

Tom Cruise rocks the Austin Powers look (HolyCandy)

Henry Rollins, unlikely Garbo imitator (CelebritySmack)

Joaquin Phoenix has adult literacy issues (AgentBedhead)

Britney Spears smokes while pumping gas (GabbyBabble)

Spears family finds Dr Phil not the soul of discretion (Defamer)

Bono wears his “preliminary hearing” suit (Gawker)

Michael Jackson: the kids win one (Defamer)

Ashlee and Jessica Simpson are the Typhoid Marys of fail (AgentBedhead)

Jamie-Lynn Spears to star in Nickelodeon special on teen love and pregnancy? She’s got the resume! (ImNotObsessed)

Incarcerated American Idol loser jump on pregnancy bandwagon (PerezHilton)

Yes, Denzel Washington is the perfect man (CeleBitchy)

Lindsay Lohan, chaw shiller (HollywoodRag)

Kanye West doesn’t like black people credit (Bossip)

Britney wants her kids tested for weed (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse as you’ve never seen her before (PlanetHiltron)

Colin Farrell is still scruffy-pretty (DailyStab)

Hugh Jackman is cleanshaven-pretty (JustJared)

When Duffs attack! (DListed)

Stephen Colbert is celebrity of the year! (EvilBeet)

You can take the girl out of the trailer park, y’all, but… (GabbyBabble)

Christina Aguilera isn’t going to “stay loose” (HolyCandy)

Madonna in space? (HolyMoly)

The Spice Girls really put the “die” in “Diet” (TheSkinnyWebsite)

Lily Allen: pregnant, pretty, puffing (TheMeatScale)

Bai Ling says Happy Holidays, offends David Bowie (Websters)

Real Housewives star really arrested (TMZ)

Kate Moss sics the sharks on Pete Doherty (WOWReport)

Posh Spice, thumb-sucker! (CelebritiesEating)

Pete Doherty, guidance counselor (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse is the new Brigitte Bardot. Karl Lagerfeld is, apparently, the new Frances Farmer (CelebritySmack)

Christina Aguilera’s baby shower (HollywoodBackwash)

Angelina discriminates against blue-eyed blondes. Like Shiloh (WWTDD)

Fergie tries out for Texas Chainsaw Massacre update (DailyStab)

Jessica Simpson is ready for her full-frontal closeup (DerekHail)

Kate Moss wears a pantsless panda ensemble to Led Zeppelin (DListed)

-Kat is tired of Tom- (CeleBitchy)

Renee Zellweger needs help staying sane (ImNotObsessed)

Lindsay Lohan thinks Bud Light isn’t real beer. She may have a point (NinjaDude)

Kylie Minogue and the Nobel Prize. Yes, you read that right (PerezHilton)

Teri Hatcher power walks, could use another 2% bodyfat (TheSkinny)

PETA vs the Olsen Twins (HolyCandy)

Adam Sandler to the rescue! (Defamer)

Gwyneth Paltrow may not be the friendliest person on the planet (Jezebel)

Alex Trebek in jeopardy (Mollygood)

Julia Roberts is back, and bigger than ever. Also starey in a Nicole Kidman way (EvilBeet)

Pink and Juliette Lewis could both use some decaf (Webster’s)

Behold the hotness that used to be Sean Connery (TheMeatScale)

Pete Doherty, bad boy, worse fighter (AgentBedhead)

Katherine Heigl is cute, honest, soon to be unemployed (HolyCandy)

News Flash: American Idol loser is loser! (Defamer)

Jennifer Lopez rocks the baby bump (CelebrityBabyScoop)

So does Ozzy Osbourne (HolyMoly)

Kate Moss converts to carbs? (ImNotObsessed)

Britney’s rent boy (CeleBitchy)

Renee Zellweger is Bee-having (ICYDK)

Heather Mills was a porn star; worse, she was a bad perm aficionado! (Ninjadude)

Ethan Hawke follows in the footsteps of Jude Law, Robin Williams (GabbyBabble)

What did Meg Ryan do to her face? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Angelina and Maddox salute the National Guard (JustJared)

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden launch their children’s charity (PerezHilton)

Will Smith may or may not be harboring body thetans (DListed)

Whitney Houston’s comeback not ready for prime time (Bossip)

The Spice Girls sex up Vangroover (WickedYouth)

Carrie Underwood is back on the market (IDLYITW)

Bryan Adams sports a proud unibrow (TheMeatScale)

Lindsay Lohan, proud pinto (Celebslam)

Mandy Moore, proud floor-farker! (CelebritySmack)

Ashley Tisdale is a deviant no more! (EvilBeet)

What blinding light through yonder window breaks? It is Aretha Franklin! (Jezebel)

Rhys Meyers pops a frosty (WOWReport)

Kevin Bacon is Sincere (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Eva Longoria loves the weiners (Celebslam)

Xtina flashes the birthin’ hole (CeleBitchy)

the littlest Winehouse, the biggest beehive (TheMeatScale)

Amy Winehouse stores her leftovers (HolyCandy)

Celine Dion hates Halifax (PerezHilton)

Kate Moss gets her midday drink on (PopSugar)

Beyonce’s beauty blooper (Popbytes)

Jennifer Garner puts an elf on the shelf (ImNotObsessed)

Owen Wilson’s new girlfriend is named after Seventies classic Le Car (DerekHail)

Zahara’s birth mother is NOT suing (EvilBeet)

Nobody shits on the Shat! (Defamer)

Janice Dickinson needs a plastic surgery intervention (CelebritySmack)

Sesame Street, Taxi Driver…who can tell the difference? (AgentBedhead)

RIP, Big Martha (FromScratch)

What the stars are mouthing silently (TheLiteraryPursuit)

Today in Job Satisfaction News: Paris Hilton imitator sick of Paris Hilton too! (AgentBedhead)

Mike Tyson does the pokey hokey-pokey. You put your right cross in, you take your right cross out… (GabbyBabble)

Heidi Montag cute, stacked, delusional (FatbackAndCollards)

Dennis Quaid’s babies overdosed! (HolyCandy)

Pamela Anderson is exquisite, corpse-like, strangely tentacled (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Kate Moss stays classy, threatens Sienna Miller at a drunken party (FemaleFirst)

Ben- congratulates -Nnifer on her pregnancy (CelebritySmack)

Munchkins get their star (Popbytes)

Interspecies compassion (CityRag)

Lachey is back, biotches! (DailyStab)

Beyonce’s booty is back (GoFugYourself)

Johnny Depp sings the hits of the Seventies: the Eighteen-Seventies! (EvilBeet)

Will Ferrell has a murder-boner (FunnyOrDie)

The Bachelor stays single (Defamer)

Audience freakouts are Oprah’s Favorite Thing (Jezebel)

Yet another angle on the Jen vs Angie thing! Isn’t that so last year? (HuffPo)

Dear Rachel Bilson, quit stalking me (Craigslist)

Giorgio Armani, Queen of the Eighties (TheMeatScale)

Britney Spears, terror of the streets (WOWReport)

Kate Middleton, future barista? (Radar)

Supermodels hit the runway…at LAX (PopSugar)

Jack Nicholson has words of advice for young people (Goldenfiddle)

Brad Pitt’s long-lost Pringles commercial (JustJared)

Christina Ricci, owl monkey impersonator (TMZ)

Conan O’Brian met his stalker (CelebSlam)

Kiefer Sutherland parties on (Mollygood)

George Clooney on his first time  (ImNotObsessed)

Neverland is safe! (PerezHilton)

Far more of Mickey Rourke than you ever wanted to see (HolyCandy)

Fabio and Clooney: the romance novel (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Owen Wilson, barefoot in the park (DailyStab)

Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Jason Leigh faceoff (HollywoodOffender)

Nobody likes Tom Cruise, not even nice people (Dlisted)

Farrah Fawcett still alive, tanned, and with fabulous hair (CelebritySmack)

Kelly Clarkson cleans up real good (D*anasDirt)

Winona Ryder is Spock’s Mom (Defamer)

Kate Moss parties with a Drag Queen (AgentBedhead)

Celebrities who look like they smell (CeleBitchy)

SPIRIT FINGERS: How do we know that’s Kate Moss at a YSL photo shoot and not some random dowdily-dressed streetwalker who’s about to be frisked?

PLUMCAKE: I’m not entirely sure those are mutually exclusive.

MANOLO: Frisking Kate Moss? That would be like handling the leather bag full of broken chicken bones.

SPIRIT FINGERS: I think this pose is supposed to be “sexy and glamourous” in the same way that Pete Doherty is supposed to be “clean and sober”.

(more…)

Kate Moss sleeps rough, REALLY rough (SondraKiStan)

Calling all nerds: Trek Needs YOU! (AgentBedhead)

Holy Stalker, Batman: Conan O’Brian’s got a priest on his tail (CelebritySmack)

Britney’s drug no-show total (TheBlemish)

Buy Lindsay Lohan’s old stuff on eBay (CityRag)

Tom Cruise, babysnatcher! (Defamer)

JLo IS preggo, yo. Toldja so! (DailyStab)

Mickey Rourke is busted. I mean arrested. (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse is raided! (DListed)

The Paris Hilton Happy Holidays card (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Carrie Underwood is just rubbing Faith Hill’s face in it now (PopOnThePop)

Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman clean up real good (GoFugYourself)

Owen Wilson bends it like…a white boy from Texas (JustJared)

Suri Cruise’s pretend tea party (HollywoodOffender)

Daniel Craig hates plastic people (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Nicole Kidman thinks Daniel Craig will loooooove her! (MollyGood)

Robin Williams and Julianne Moore on the picket line (PerezHilton)