Ayyyy!

I dunno about where you are, but here in Vangroover it’s almost cold enough to turn water into ice! No word of a lie! We Canucks need something warming to get through our long winters.

Scientology, the Musical! (AgentBedhead)

ScarJo vs Cosmo (AmyGrindhouse)

Meryl Streep smacks the big ape (SeriouslyOMG)

Madonna is DOWN! Repeat: MADONNA IS DOWN! (CeleBitchy)

Sharon Osbourn catfight: They don’t call them cougars for nothing! (CelebritySmack)

Will Smith will not have your baby (HolyMoly)

But Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber are picking up the slack (DailyStab)

And Cate Blanchett stands by on deck (GabbyBabble)

Celeb shirtless shots slideshow (UKPopSugar)

Robert Downey Jr is Shirtless Holmes, master detective (Defamer)

Socks in peril! (DListed)

Courtney Love = Madam (EvilBeet)

GILFs of 2008 (CandyKirby)

The Shoe Heard Round The World (IBBB)

Ben Affleck is an Operator (JustJared)

Katie Holmes stars in: Not Without My Daughter! (Websters)

Hot Tom and Jerry is actually a noxious drink, but it has a place in the canon if only because of its supporting role in Damon Runyan’s immortal Dancing Dan’s Christmas.

Bill Murray, 24 hour party person (AgentBedhead)

The Gossip Girl gossip (AmyGrindhouse)

Suri and Katie have the same stylist (BricksAndStones)

Sesame Street goes to Gitmo? (CeleBitchy)

Another Viggo? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

The latest Crazy Spears Family rumour (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

No, THIS is the latest Crazy Spears Family rumour (DailyStab)

Nobody wins when you play Russian Roulette (CelebritySmack)

Carrie Fisher comes full circle (Defamer)

As does Christina Aguilera (GabbyBabble)

Kim Basinger, however, is eternal (Websters)

Maverick’s Crackberry AWOL (DListed)

Who is this woman and what has she done with Audrina Patridge? (EvilBeet)

Middle-aged spinster displays desperation (CandyKirby)

Joel McHale gives the un-royal wave (IBBB)

How does it go? It’s the rusty nail that gets the free refill? Well it SHOULD go that way, dammit!

Gossip blogger blogs about being interviewed about gossip blogging on blog (EvilBeet)

Malkovich? Malkovich. Malkovich! is on teh internets (AgentBedhead)

Bono ar in ur latte, savin da werld (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ahnold will not terminate marriage equality (CelebrityDirt)

Cougartown! (GenosWorld)

I, Guy Richie, vow to love, honour, and obey these 36 line items in the marriage contract… (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Diddy is a daddy, and a hella good cook! (CelebWarship)

The Madonna List (TheRadReport)

Gwen Stefani bucks trend, releases baby pix for free! (PopBytes)

Kevin Smith is the scourge of plumbing fixtures everywhere (CeleBitchy)

Janet Jackson on tour, now with 30% less obscenity (CelebritySmack)

The Trollson Twins clean up well as Vargas Girls (DailyStab)

Russell Band inspires unlikely labour activism at the Beeb (HolyMoly)

Cloris has her own reality show! My prayers have been answered! (Defamer)

Mariah Carey’s Halloween style crumbles (Websters)

Don’t you HATE it when someone shows up in the same dress as you? (DListed)

Bloody Hell! Endometriosis is catching??? (GabbyBabble)

Katherine Heigl is playing games with us (CandyKirby)

The View from the bottom of the barrel (IBBB)

Nicolette Sheridan goes down on her handlers (SeriouslyOMG)

Roger Ebert’s Rules of Order (Gawker)

Probably the most obscure link challenge ever, barring the one CelebritySmack did entirely in pictures. Couldn’t touch that one! Our theme: the Cthulhu Mythos literary works of the late Howard Phillips Lovecraft, y’all!

Cthluhupalooza is coming! Hang on to your sanity! (Cthulhupalooza)

Jennifer Aniston’s uterus to remain in mint condition (CelebWarship)

Blogging the unmentionable John Malkovich (AgentBedhead)

Jewel puts the “try” in Country Music (CeleBitchy)

IT’S INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY, BITCHES! (Capslockday)

Acolyte robes for your Junior Star Chamber member (Pregotastic)

When the Great Old Ones fight, your vintage sitcoms suffer (Defamer)

Dear Gary Busey, it’s “freebasing” not “debasing” (DailyStab)

Hollywood stars are swimming in mortality soup (CelebritySmack)

Karl Lagerfeld sells his soul (FakeKarl)

Katie Holmes wears the Fangs of Xenu (DListed)

Paris Hilton buys a used den of iniquity (HollywoodRag)

Sarah Jessica Parker Dexter Ward has a portrait in her attic that’s getting younger and sexier (IDLYITW)

The Ancient One speaks! (EvilBeet)

The Statement of Harriet Carter (IBBB)

The very batrachian Beckham can catch flies up to 15 feet away! (JustJared)

Karl still Roves. Where are the villagers with pitchforks? (Radar)

Snakes on a Dame! (CandyKirby)

The Necronomicon of celebrity makeovers (OhNoTheyDidnt)

Grace Jones is from another planet, where they don’t have physics or gravity (OMGBlog) (NentirelySFW)

So this is how the fancy-suited Hollywood power elite broker a deal – first, the friendly introductions followed by some fast talking and due consideration of the proposal of the table, then the all-important handshake and finally the hearty backslapping to congratulate each other on a long lasting and mutually beneficial partnership.

Let’s forget about our own selfish problems for the time being and consider how the past week has been such a troubling time for the celebrity world.  What best describes the mood being shared by Ryan Philippe and Eva Green?
(a) Impenetrable gloom over the end of Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s marriage
(b) Deep melancholy about David Duchovny and Tea Leoni’s announced separation
(c) Heartfelt sorrow over Hugh Hefner’s breakup with Holly Madison
(d) Infinite sadness over the tragedy that is Katie Holmes’ latest getup

Katie Holmes, blogger! (CelebrityDirt)

Kid Rock is the Schlitz! (CelebuWreck)

No, seriously. David Letterman for President! (GabbyBabble)

Martha Stewart, size queen! (Lolebrity)

Amy Winehouse makes Guinness Book for largest dry cleaning bill (AgentBedhead)

Who’s a bad boy? Patrick Dempsey is! (CelebritySmack)

James Bond gagged! (MikeyMars)

Shack up chez Britney! (HolyMoly)

Captain Jack is back! (DailyStab)

Dog and Bride of Dog: deep-fried beauty, fake and bake fabulous! (CandyKirby)

Clay Aiken’s track record of heterosity! (FourFour)

Ed McMahon, rapper! (Crunk&Disorderly)

Carrot Top is a natural beauty! (IBBB)

Who is Rosh Hashanah? (Defamer)

Orlando Bloom in leather! (JustJared)

Metaphor gets literal on the strangest night of political television in history! (SeriouslyOMG)

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People premieres! (UKPopSugar)

Angelina Jolie is a doll! (ImNotObsessed)

David Blaine blames everything except the Large Hadron Collider for his failure (Mollygood)

Kirsten Dunst sez: ohai this ar seckshool assawlt  (Lolebrity)

Miley Cyrus sez: Meet the boyfriend! (CelebuWreck)

Diablo Cody sez: I may be a badly-inked-up ex-stripper in a muu-muu with a sad robot fetish and twenty dollar Buster Brown haircut, but I’m still better than any of you (Defamer)

Pete Doherty sez: THIS is what became of the likely lads (AgentBedhead)

Elle MacPherson sez: please don’t tell Naomi or Kate! (DailyStab)

NYPost Columnist sez: kittens deserve to die (CelebritySmack)

TomKat sez: our love can never die! Never! Never, I Tell You! Hahahahahahahahawhat? (CandyKirby)

Pearl Jam(?) sez: HR Pufnstuf, where’d you go when things get rough? (raincoaster)

John McCain and Sarah Palin say: watch me pull a polar bear out of my hat (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Zuzu sez: every time Courtney Love flips the bird an angel gets its wings (CelebSlam)

Victoria Beckham sez: I’m 90% less plastic now! (CeleBitchy)

John Mayer sez: at least my Blackberry loves me! (PopSugar)

Madonna sez: hey, big deal! The guitar was eighteen! (SeriouslyOMG)

Sarah Palin sez: I don’t need to hear that Tina Fey! (PopEater)

Lindsay Lohan sez: Stay Gold! (Dlisted)