Salma Hayek and her friends and family present your wholesome gossip links for today.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail: I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

Dolph Lundgren is the King of Rock and Roll (raincoaster)
Friday Caption Contest: Macho Murse Edition (Ayyyy)
This is why you will be fat (AgentBedhead)
Roger Federer’s bottle service (BusyBeeBlogger)
Hot Guy Friday (Celebitchy)
Happy Birthday, MPerr! (CelebrityFashionWatcher)
Timberlake is officially middle-aged (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Brigitte Nielsen is ageless (CelebritySmack)
Tatty Baby Daddy game (CityRag)
Steve Jobs can prevent porn on your iPhone, but he can’t stop this (DListed)
Betty White to destroy Dan Brown at the bookstore (HaveUHeard)
Kat Von D is unique (INeedMyFix)
The Kids in the Hall of the Funeral Home (SeriouslyOMG)

Zac Efron is ... um, sorry, what were you saying?

Yes, he’s legal, so sexually objectifying him is totally okay. In fact, in that outfit it may be mandatory.

Gravity: I haz it (raincoaster)
Chuck Berry <3 Mommybloggers (raincoastermedia)
The acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree in this family (Lolebrity)
Poetry Wednesday (Shoeblogs)
That’s just cheesy (ManoloFood)
NO logo, yo! (ManoloBig)
Is that a G-roll in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? (ManoloMen)
Snoop and Seal, together again for the first time (TeenyManolo)
Ring burner (ManoloBrides)
Cutesville, USA (ManoloHome)
Lady Gaga’s true nature revealed (TheOnion)
Richard and Bruce have some differences (YouTube)
The sweet (?) smell of Denise Richards for Secret Deodorant (SeriouslyOMG)
Tara Reid’s bad outlook (PopBytes)
Britney’s comeback, by the numbers (PoorBritney)
Crazy couple: Ernest Hemingway and Lindsay Lohan (RadarOnline)
Alexander Skarsgard does his best to turn Annie Leibovitz straight (ASocialiteLife)
Dannii Minogue’s post-partum ScarJo ‘do debuts (UKPopSugar)
The Queen of the World is dead; long live the Queen of the World II (Movieline)
Zac Efron, topless (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
The two most irritating celebrities in the world together at last! (JustJared)
Presenting the Clitorati (GoFugYourself)
Just another night in the trailer park (IBBB)
American Idol: In like a lion, out like a has-been (INeedMyFix)
Nicole Kidman’s Forehead of Doom is back (HaveUHeard)
But Kesha, we ALL are (GabbyBabble)
The greatest threat to youth in our time (HolyMoly)
Chuck Berry’s favorite video (FourFour)
Selina Gomez has an interesting PA (EvilBeet)
The absolute opposite of the Zac Efron post above (DailyStab)
St Angelina flagellated (CojoStyle)
Joan Collins and Ivana Trump Whatever Whatever Boytoy Whatever together again for the first time (CelebritySmack)
Katy Perry is hunting out of her league (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Try 2b moar grammatickle (CelebCosmeticSurgery)
Celebrity Soduku (CelebrityBeehive)
“I was inventing the internet at the time” is NOT an alibi, Al (CeleBitchy)
Tom Jones finally released it, let it go (BusyBeeBlogger)
Taylor Momsen without makeup (AmyGrindhouse)
Celebrating National Barbie in a Blender Day (AgentBedhead)

Whoa, they aren’t messing around anymore! I’d like to know who down at Headquarters okayed that hiring decision.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

What Would Neil Patrick Harris Do? (Lolebrity)
World’s cutest octopus (raincoaster)
These boots were made for stalking (Shoeblogs)
Why dress well? (ManoloBig)
This is a pervy poultry fancier’s dream come true (TeenyManolo)
Stacked! (ManoloHome)
New Dork Times (ManoloBrides)
Bill Murray previews Amy Winehouse’s retirement plan (AgentBedhead)
Lindsay Lohan’s lesbian prison chixploitation script writes itself (BestWeekEver)
Jennifer Aniston raises a stink in London (BricksAndStones)
I’d do that all the time if I were a Lohan (BusyBeeBlogger)
Whoopi brought her friend Harvey on the View (CeleBitchy)
A heaping hunk of himbos (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Ben Affleck’s Batcave (CelebrityMound)
Katy Perry gives a generation of fanboys diabetes (CelebritySmack)
Foxy Brown performs her version of “New Moon” (Crunk+Disorderly)
I could make a tart joke but I’ll just say “bun in the oven” (DailyStab)
Twit o’ the Day: LindsayInJail (Twitter)
Is this the long-awaited Hilton sister porno? (DanasDirt)
Some people will do ANYTHING to be like their favorite star (EvilBeet)
Forget Zardoz: Hail ZDROK! (FourFour)
Beauty and the Geeks (GabbyBabble)
STOP! In the name of fug! (GoFugYourself)
Kim Kardashian ->Victoria Beckham? (HollywoodBackwash)
Hey LOTR nerds! It’s BloomsDay! (HollywoodRag)
The Big Babeh Bummer (INeedMyFix)
Leo lays it out (HaveUHeard)
The strangest strap-on I have ever seen (IBBB)
16-year-old learns to dress herself (JustJared)
Situation Normal…rest of them AFU (MaterialBitch)
Britney Spears is team LAY OFF ME (PerezHilton)
Natalie Portman’s swan song (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Katie Price is so not G-A-Y (UKPopSugar)
We’ve lost her (PopBytes)
V for…vajayjay? (SeriouslyOMG)

Related articles by Zemanta

• Why Is Lindsay F – ed Up? Michael Lohan charged with harassment for alleged attack on own fiancee (chicagoraysrants.com)
• Lindsay Lohan…Tweeting from Jail? (thegloss.com)

Crystal Renn, now 50% off

via Blackbook

Yes, through the magic of Photoshop, the world’s top plus-sized model is feeling less than 100% today. About thirty pounds less.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

Mel Gibson blames the beaver (Lolebrity)
Bad morale (NSFW!) (raincoaster)
Gatsby wanted (Manolo)
Celebrity Dads: Bale vs Fiennes (TeenyManolo)
Ho’s! (ManoloFood)
Wedding wood (ManoloBrides)
Fatboy? Slim! (ManoloBig)
What’s black and white and red and green and pink and blue and… (ManoloHome)
The Anti-Gwyneth! (AgentBedhead)
Pink black and blue (AmyGrindhouse)
Least fortunate Dita von Teese thumbnail ever (BusyBeeBlogger)
Pattinson, NOBODY cares about the nipples (CeleBitchy)
Lohan SOBER! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
The vampire facelift! (CelebCosmeticSurgery)
JLoHew, GIVE ME THAT DRESS IMMEDIATELY (CelebritySmack)
Jada stepped into a goldfish (CojoStyle)
Green Lantern black and blue (DailyStab)
Pocket Aces (EvilBeet)
Pamela Anderson does not meet provincial standards (GabbyBabble)
Wounded cougar on the loose! (HaveUHeard)
Maroon 5′s misery (INeedMyFix)
Mourning the Hills (IBBB)
So what DID Courtney wear? (PopBytes)
Let us just pray they don’t become a couple (SeriouslyOMG)

Um, what is going on here? From the look on her face, it would seem that the lovely and talented Michelle Williams has lost a bet and been forced into this unflattering, bedazzled and ruffled sack of fug for her Cannes premiere. Her eyes say “Help me” while her body says…well, we can’t hear what it’s saying because it’s being smothered by an overgrown pillowcase.

Ian McKellen, Lord of the Blogs (TrueSlant)

Ian McKellen is DONE with this shizznit! (Lolebrity)

PJs for all! (TheManolo)

Someday my prints will come (ManoloHome)

Sheer silliness (ManoloBrides)

Blind flood puppy update! (ManoloBig)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff! Hugh Jackman vs Stephen Moyer (TeenyManolo)

Inside John Malkovich’s head (AgentBedhead)

Kate Moss burgled! (AmyGrindhouse)

Porn model now porn actress (BricksAndStones)

Rock Out to Beat Cancer (BusyBeeBlogger)

Britney wigs out! (CeleBitchy)

Celebrity trade wars (CelebrityBeehive)

Jonas Brothers UNCAGED! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Butt Paris! (CelebritySmack)

Celebrity sex swapping (CityRag)

Rachel Bilson is a fembot? (CojoStyle)

Russell Brand, Elle of a guy (DailyStab)

Justin Bieber is a gift from god (EvilBeet)

Orange silicone creature frightens children (GabbyBabble)

JLo IS SATC (GoFugYourself)

Bono’s back! (HaveUHeard)

Padma dates down (INeedMyFix)

Don’t worry, Lindsay, this happens to everyone (IBBB)

James Franco goes ape (JustJared)

Cats get Lost (Movieline)

Jake Gyllenhaal brings teh sexay…to the front row? (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Lily Allen schlubs out (UKPopSugar)

Grace Jones, superhero! (PopBytes)

The hottest men on tv (SeriouslyOMG)

Anybody got a patch kit? Although Jack is 72 years old, he’s still more man than a Katie Price blowup doll can handle. That’ll teach him to shop at Walmart!

All fit-bodied individuals, but can you tell which one has had a bit of surgical assistance with their pecs?

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: McQueen vs The King! (TeenyManolo)

Canada vs Tori Spelling (Websters)

Zac Quinto, hawt squinto (TenGossip)

Pregnant Ellen Pompeo is off the BFPON diet (ASL)

Cougar attack, threat level Brooke Shields (SeriouslyOMG)

Lenny Kravitz gives good face (Popbytes)

Katie Price has trouble with this “Dignified silence” thing (UKPopSugar)

Bristol Palin, single mom, graduates from high school (JustJared)

Helena Bonham Carter in costume as herself (INO)

The Farrah Fawcett Story (GabbyBabble)

Ivy League school really pisses off Filipino prisoners (EvilBeet)

Gordon Ramsay’s bonbon (HolyMoly)

Robert Pattinson may not shower, but he’s not as gross as his fans (Handbag)

Party at Colin Farrell’s! (Celebslam)

Anna Faris like a pig to the slaughter (DailyStab)

Suri Cruise->Amy Winehouse? (AllieIsWired)

Tabloid Wars! (AmyGrindhouse)

Fellini outdone? Nine trailer (BusyBeeBlogger)

Imagine that? Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes try in vitro fertilization (CeleBitchy)

Trent Reznor is making the biggest mistake of his life (AgentBedhead)

Hey folks do you have a tendency to hear more than one voice in your head? Split personalities call for a variety of styling tools so make sure the end product meets with the approval of the entire gang!

Miss Venezuela may have won Miss Universe this year but at the other end of the spectrum, it looks like Katie “Jordan” Price walked away with the Miss Vegas Showgirl Who Wandered into a Booksigning title.