I must be losing my edge. I still dislike Katy Perry and think she’s a classic example of making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, but at least lately she’s a much more plausible-looking silk purse. And it’s hard not to feel bad even for a talentless meat puppet who made it big by faking lesbianism and shooting fireworks out of her bustier once you learn that Russell Brand informed her via text message that he was divorcing her.
He could have at least Skyped.
Sure, Katy Perry has made something of a business out of looking hot and confused, but we’ve got the same blank look of puzzlement on our faces here (even the cats). What kind of world are we living in when Katy Perry is:
- invited to the White House Correspondent’s Dinner
- the best-dressed woman there?
To what, good readers, cometh the world?
I’m glad I was sitting down when I saw this: possibly the most controversial outfit Katy Perry has ever worn. She of the firework boobs and pedo-trawling hot pants is still made up like Mrs John Wayne Gacy, and still has that unflattering Not-Sure-If-Worth-Marketing-To-Goths hair colour, but the dress, shoes and bag are actually lovely and normal. By which I mean famous clothes-remover Dita Von Teese could wear them. Briefly.
Italian designer Marta Marzotto is indeed the epitome of fierce, and if you doubt it, she will most likely shiv a bitch, this ex-Countess having been sentenced to hard prison time for blithely making off with her almost-stepson’s patrimony. As if that weren’t enough, she’s related to my beloved Lapo! Why, she’s like a lost Gabor sister! Who’s to say those booties don’t conceal a tracking anklet of some kind? Just as soon as I reconfigure the DEW Line to trace Julian Assange’s movements, I’ll take a quick peek around Milan for Marta M. and let you know. We should probably keep an eye on this one.
She looks like she’d take her vodka neat, so let’s toast this crazy old cougar with some Cougar Juice Vodka and some gossip links.
Bagel BBQ FTW! (ManoloFood)
Ben Affleck, ironic hairpiece wearer (BusyBeeBlogger)
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake stays Brooooooooooooooooooooke! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Mariah Carey is sefectly pober! (CelebritySmack)
Smoker Katy Perry, on addiction (CelebVIPLounge)
Lindsay Lohan, too, is serfectl – LISTEN PEOPLE IT’S SPELLED “Ketel One” AND IF I SEE ANOTHER “Kettle” I AM GOING TO COME OVER THERE AND GIVE YOU ONE OR TWO LUMPS WHERE IT’LL DO THE MOST GOOD OKAY????(EarSucker)
Harrison Ford is a GILF (FitFabCeleb)
6 celebrity pizzafaces (GirlsTalkinSmack)
RIP Amy Winehouse: no, Blaaaaake is not invited to the funeral (HollywoodHiccups)
Annalynne McCord could use a good seamstress (TheSkinny)
Jay-Z and Kanye want you to watch them on the throne? (TheSkinnyChic)
This, ladies and gentlemen, is a quote for the ages:
“When my mother was about 7, my grandmother locked her in the closet. So, after my mom had been in the closet for about an hour, she asked my grandmother for a glass of water. My grandmother, naturally, said ‘Why?’ and my mother said ‘Because I’ve spit all over your dresses and now I’ve run out of spit and I wanna spit all over your shoes.’ These are the people I hail from.”
— Carrie Fisher
She’s also the author of one of the best opening lines in history, “I never should have given my phone number to the guy who pumped my stomach.”
Michael Jackson gave me the BEST present (raincoaster)
Frank Sinatra vs some pasty vegan (ManoloFood)
Katy Perry won’t admit she has a problem (Lolebrity)
Amy Winehouse was once more ambitious than you (AmyGrindhouse)
RPattz pub candid! (TheBosh)
Reese Witherspoon ups the ante with her exes (BusyBeeBlogger)
This will not end well: fag vs hag (CeleBitchy)
Nicole Richie is no Lilo, yo! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Times Square is a Snooki-free zone (CelebritySmack)
This has to be the best headline I have seen in WEEKS (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Archie Leach is appalled at this! (HaveUHeard)
Kelly Osbourne is OUT of control (INeedMyFix)
Kate Moss tiptoes her way out of modeling (JustJared)
A Charlie Sheen Christmas (PopBytes)
Coolest Hogwartian casts spell on Disney World (PerezHilton)
Best-dressed heads of state (Styleite)