Ayyyy!

Oh, they may have frou-frou names, but don’t let that fool you. Like many a stiletto-clad damsel, they have a kick like a mule’s hind leg.

In memory of Marjorie (FourFour)

You don’t have to be famous yet to hate your fans (AgentBedhead)

Canada dodges a bullet… a bullet named Baldwin (CeleBitchy)

Naaaaasty Celebrity PDA’s (PopEater)

Jennifer Garner needs your help! (DListed)

Brad Pitt, also, needs your help (Defamer)

All things considered, this year’s Sexiest Man Alive could be worse (CelebritySmack)

100 movie spoilers in 5 minutes (CityRag)

Jean-Claude vanDamme has a way with metaphor (CandyKirby)

Britney is running around on Ken Paves (CelebWarship)

Joan Collins at least knows her snow (SeriouslyOMG)

Johnny Depp does his Helena Bonham Carter impression (DailyStab)

Nicole 1, Paris 0 (PopSugar)

Real Lessons from the Real Housewives (IBBB)

At least SOME of Katy Perry is real (Websters)

My milkshake brings all the links to the blog, and keeps ‘em coming back for more. I think it’s the heroin I put in it.

Speaking of which, remember that Pete Doherty guy? (AgentBedhead)

Jayden James escapes California, only to be incarcerated (CelebWarship)

BritTwit says he’s feeling better, though (TheRealBritney on Twitter)

Our public intellectuals aren’t what they used to be (CeleBitchy)

Rod Stewart, the Pete Doherty of 1973 (CelebritySmack)

Mischa Barton is really overdue for a waxing (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Evan Rachel Wood will have you know she is not desperate (DailyStab)

Lamest “Child Star Gone Bad” story in history (Defamer)

John Travolta, the eternal straight man (WWTDD)

Which Emanuel brother are you? (Wonkette)

Taradise Lost: is celebrity hedonism over? (Gawker)

RIP Gus (DListed)

Not even Kate Moss looks good in that (PopSugar)

It must be Miley Cyrus’ personality, yeah, that’s it! (IBBB)

Katy Perry overshares her monthly cycle (CandyKirby)

Taylor Swift has perfect 70’s hair (ImNotObsessed)

Gisele Bundchen has perfect 80’s everything (JustJared)

as does Cindy Crawford (Websters)

Secret Service code names for the Obama family (Jossip)

Erik Estrada scalped Simon Cowell!!!!! (SeriouslyOMG)

It was a dark and stormy night, and all the crew were gathered in the cabin. The captain turned to the first mate and said, “Pass the Laphroaig, please.”

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: historical hunk edition (TeenyManolo)

Item #38 in Things You Already Knew: Madonna hates America (AgentBedhead)

Malawi strikes back! (CeleBitchy)

Melissa Etheridge is back on the market whether she likes it or not! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Julia Hudson is a whackadoodle (CelebritySmack)

Anne Hathaway has some freaky pen friends (DailyStab)

Courtney Love is easily confused (Defamer)

The Return of Britney Spears (DListed)

On Karl’s iPod (FakeKarl)

Katy Perry is no Grace Jones (GoFugYourself)

Justin and Britney reunited under adult supervision (IBBB)

Suri Cruise has a message for you (CandyKirby)

Russell Brand got thrown out of England (UKPopSugar)

Nicole Kidman is just jealous (Websters)

Zac Efron is literal-minded, not dirty-minded! (Yeeeeah)

Life lessons from Judge Judy (Jezebel)

Courting Condi (Mollygood)

The Martini Navratilova is perhaps one of the most perfect cocktails ever invented: injury and cure in one, with a dash of wit. Most recipes are a standard mix of classic cocktail ingredients, but my favorite recipe is more basic, as well as more amusing: vodka and Gatorade.

All eyes on Katy Perry (CelebuWreck)

Beyonce stars in Tron 2.0 (DListed)

Gwyneth Paltrow needs to lay off the herbals, eat a sammich (AgentBedhead)

Gee, if these two crazy kids can’t make it as a couple, what hope is there for the rest of us? (CelebritySmack)

Jesse James is an outlaw! (DailyStab)

Cosmetic surgeon saves America! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Ellen comes out against Prop 8 (CeleBitchy)

Ode to Papouli (IBBB)

Brother Barack can come out now (Jewcy)

Leo DiCaprio passes the torch to Zac Efron (PopSugar)

Jean-Claude van Damme is back, bitches! (Defamer)

CliffNotes: A Trainwreck Named Winehouse (CandyKirby)

Suri Cruise will stiff the playground valet and he will LIKE it (CelebWarship)

Gwyneth Paltrow attends children’s charity event in a brewery (ImNotObsessed)

The celebrity couple’s in trouble when HIS fashion choices make it into the article (JustJared)

Sloppy Seconds and the City (Mollygood)

Puppycam! (SeriouslyOMG)

Don’t quit your day job, Ashton (Websters)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Classic Edition (TeenyManolo)

OH DEAR GOD THERE’S A BAI LING SEX TAPE! (CandyKirby)

Putting the “science” in “Scientology” (AgentBedhead)

On the cover of the Rolling Stone (DailyStab)

George Hamilton’s Oedipal upbringing (CelebritySmack)

Paris Hilton attempts to become Princess Paris (CeleBitchy)

Chris Martin does NOT want to hear about his wife’s exes! (HolyMoly)

Fun with Spam (IBBB)

Celebrity Week Quiz (UKPopSugar)

10 greatest Halloween specials of all time (Defamer)

Katy Perry kissed a floor (SeriouslyOMG)

American Idol can drive you to drink (Websters)

A horse broke up Madonna’s marriage (CelebSlam)

Has John McCain stolen your music? (CelebrityDirt)

The Sarah Palin gallery (Mollygood)

I like to have a Martini
I like three, at most
After three I’m under the table
After four, I’m under the host!
Dorothy Parker

Sienna Miller, superhero! (Lolebrity)

Janet Jackson appears to believe she’s one as well (JustJared)

It’s Pink Shirt Day! (TeenyManolo)

Mischa Mouse debuts as designer (CelebuWreck)

This Brit makes an ass of herself (AgentBedhead)

Congratulations to Miss Tara Reid on her engagement (CelebritySmack)

Congratulations to Miss Samantha Ronson on her engagement (HolyMoly)

Petra Nemcova congratulates Kelly Osbourne on her skirt made entirely of disco shirts (DailyStab)

Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt reunited? (GabbyBabble)

Jessica Alba’s BDSM PSA (EvilBeet)

Harriet Carter lingerie day, yay! (IBBB)

Katy Perry, novelty stripper in a toddler costume (Websters)

Ashton Kutcher on the bathroom habits of the billionaires (POTP)

Is it hot in here or is it just me? (AprilWinchell)

Betsey Johnson is SO STOKED for Talk Like A Pirate Day (GoFugYourself)

La WHA? (CrunkAndDisorderly)

Bears invade LA! (CandyKirby)

The secret history of the Obama pig (Defamer)

Anne Hathaway is no longer a receiver of stolen goods (TheSmokingGun)

When you’ve struck out everywhere else… (SeriouslyOMG)

The Brohawk, in its native environment (Radar)

Blake Lively loves dogs! (lolebrity)

Gary Coleman is white trash? (Defamer)

Dakota Fanning, however, is not (AgentBedhead)

Eva Longoria Parker shills candy (DailyStab)

Bottom feeding on the LA dating scene (CelebritySmack)

Heather Mills is the earthly vessel of the divine principle of Schadenfreude (CeleBitchy)

Torontonian schools whiny busker/Oasis frontman attacked (HolyMoly)

We can’t believe it either, Jessica (PopSugar)

Jennifer Aniston is unbelievably thrilled to see you (ImNotObsessed)

France lays the smackdown on grifting for Xenu (Mollygood)

Smells like tween spirit! (BWE)

Britney Spears cleans up real good at the VMAs (EvilBeet)

This woman’s got her head screwed on wrong (IBBB)

Katy Perry’s stylist goes into production of silk purses (GoFugYourself)

Quote of the day: Katy Perry is nothing but Diablo Cody with an actual stripper’s body, instead of a former stripper’s body (FourFour)

Matt Damon vs Ben Affleck face off! (SeriouslyOMG)

Girls Gone Wild: Disney fake lesbian edition (Websters)

The real father of Bristol Palin’s baby (Radar)

Don’t you have to be a diva to throw a diva fit? (DListed)