Ayyyy!

The Martini Navratilova is perhaps one of the most perfect cocktails ever invented: injury and cure in one, with a dash of wit. Most recipes are a standard mix of classic cocktail ingredients, but my favorite recipe is more basic, as well as more amusing: vodka and Gatorade.

All eyes on Katy Perry (CelebuWreck)

Beyonce stars in Tron 2.0 (DListed)

Gwyneth Paltrow needs to lay off the herbals, eat a sammich (AgentBedhead)

Gee, if these two crazy kids can’t make it as a couple, what hope is there for the rest of us? (CelebritySmack)

Jesse James is an outlaw! (DailyStab)

Cosmetic surgeon saves America! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Ellen comes out against Prop 8 (CeleBitchy)

Ode to Papouli (IBBB)

Brother Barack can come out now (Jewcy)

Leo DiCaprio passes the torch to Zac Efron (PopSugar)

Jean-Claude van Damme is back, bitches! (Defamer)

CliffNotes: A Trainwreck Named Winehouse (CandyKirby)

Suri Cruise will stiff the playground valet and he will LIKE it (CelebWarship)

Gwyneth Paltrow attends children’s charity event in a brewery (ImNotObsessed)

The celebrity couple’s in trouble when HIS fashion choices make it into the article (JustJared)

Sloppy Seconds and the City (Mollygood)

Puppycam! (SeriouslyOMG)

Don’t quit your day job, Ashton (Websters)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Classic Edition (TeenyManolo)

OH DEAR GOD THERE’S A BAI LING SEX TAPE! (CandyKirby)

Putting the “science” in “Scientology” (AgentBedhead)

On the cover of the Rolling Stone (DailyStab)

George Hamilton’s Oedipal upbringing (CelebritySmack)

Paris Hilton attempts to become Princess Paris (CeleBitchy)

Chris Martin does NOT want to hear about his wife’s exes! (HolyMoly)

Fun with Spam (IBBB)

Celebrity Week Quiz (UKPopSugar)

10 greatest Halloween specials of all time (Defamer)

Katy Perry kissed a floor (SeriouslyOMG)

American Idol can drive you to drink (Websters)

A horse broke up Madonna’s marriage (CelebSlam)

Has John McCain stolen your music? (CelebrityDirt)

The Sarah Palin gallery (Mollygood)

I like to have a Martini
I like three, at most
After three I’m under the table
After four, I’m under the host!
Dorothy Parker

Sienna Miller, superhero! (Lolebrity)

Janet Jackson appears to believe she’s one as well (JustJared)

It’s Pink Shirt Day! (TeenyManolo)

Mischa Mouse debuts as designer (CelebuWreck)

This Brit makes an ass of herself (AgentBedhead)

Congratulations to Miss Tara Reid on her engagement (CelebritySmack)

Congratulations to Miss Samantha Ronson on her engagement (HolyMoly)

Petra Nemcova congratulates Kelly Osbourne on her skirt made entirely of disco shirts (DailyStab)

Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt reunited? (GabbyBabble)

Jessica Alba’s BDSM PSA (EvilBeet)

Harriet Carter lingerie day, yay! (IBBB)

Katy Perry, novelty stripper in a toddler costume (Websters)

Ashton Kutcher on the bathroom habits of the billionaires (POTP)

Is it hot in here or is it just me? (AprilWinchell)

Betsey Johnson is SO STOKED for Talk Like A Pirate Day (GoFugYourself)

La WHA? (CrunkAndDisorderly)

Bears invade LA! (CandyKirby)

The secret history of the Obama pig (Defamer)

Anne Hathaway is no longer a receiver of stolen goods (TheSmokingGun)

When you’ve struck out everywhere else… (SeriouslyOMG)

The Brohawk, in its native environment (Radar)

Blake Lively loves dogs! (lolebrity)

Gary Coleman is white trash? (Defamer)

Dakota Fanning, however, is not (AgentBedhead)

Eva Longoria Parker shills candy (DailyStab)

Bottom feeding on the LA dating scene (CelebritySmack)

Heather Mills is the earthly vessel of the divine principle of Schadenfreude (CeleBitchy)

Torontonian schools whiny busker/Oasis frontman attacked (HolyMoly)

We can’t believe it either, Jessica (PopSugar)

Jennifer Aniston is unbelievably thrilled to see you (ImNotObsessed)

France lays the smackdown on grifting for Xenu (Mollygood)

Smells like tween spirit! (BWE)

Britney Spears cleans up real good at the VMAs (EvilBeet)

This woman’s got her head screwed on wrong (IBBB)

Katy Perry’s stylist goes into production of silk purses (GoFugYourself)

Quote of the day: Katy Perry is nothing but Diablo Cody with an actual stripper’s body, instead of a former stripper’s body (FourFour)

Matt Damon vs Ben Affleck face off! (SeriouslyOMG)

Girls Gone Wild: Disney fake lesbian edition (Websters)

The real father of Bristol Palin’s baby (Radar)

Don’t you have to be a diva to throw a diva fit? (DListed)