The Divine Miss M rises from the dead, returns to play Vegas (disembedded)

These boobs were made for Walken (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan vs Marilyn Monroe: duelling nekkids (CelebritySmack)

Mr. Amy Winehouse OD’s in prison again (Celebitchy)

Joan Collins, home on the range (TheMeatScale)

Chez Suri: The TomKat love nest (Derober)

Heather Mills stands by her man, whether he likes it or not (Dlisted)

Aretha fails to get respect from PETA (Bossip)

Jake Gyllenhaal dumped Kirsten Dunst for being Drunkst (Yeeeeah)

Jakey gets a makeover (PopSugar)

Kathleen Turner made of stone, not romancing (HollywoodRag)

Russell Crowe cast in new Austin Powers flick? (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Lily Allen, stripper chauffeuse (ImNotObsessed)

Poll: Who’s the hottest American President? (HolyCandy)

Travis Barker dates up, Paris Hilton dates down (DailyStab)

Heath Ledger: Saint or Sinner?  (Defamer)

Do women want gossip that hates women? (Jezebel)

Celebrity toplessness reaches critical levels: McConaughey alert! (Gawker)

Rolling Stone drives stake into Britney Spears with unholy hackiography (Defamer)

Britney’s only Goth from the waist down (DailyStab)

Pete Doherty seeks new life as Smackbob Nopants (Gawker)

or maybe the Easter Bunny? (AgentBedhead)

Top 10 reasons to miss Anna Nicole Smith (Jezebel)

Lindsay Lohan goes dark (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse will bring the funk, may bring the crack to the Grammies (TMZ)

We traded the UK Snoop Dogg for Amy (HolyMoly)

Eva Mendez more Disco than Goth, in rehab for coke (LARagMag)

Scott Weiland, Velvet Revolver front man, back in treatment (GenosWorld)

ScarJo and PeCru go pansexual for ex-sexagenarian Woody Allen (Gabsmash)

Goths Celebs of the Day: Demi and Ashton wear all-black to his 30th birthday party (HolyCandy)

Kill me now: Cher and Tom Cruise were lovers? (Dlisted)

Top 5 celebrity Goth chicks (Hi-5)

The Last Supper of Trent Reznor (LolNIN)

Another reason to drink as if you need one (WorkoutMommy)

Mystery man in black (ImNotObsessed)

Brittany Snow joins the Trenchcoat Mafia (DerekHail)

Lost Boy still lost, still blood-sucking (PerezHilton)

Dita von Teese as the Girl Next Door (SkunksBlog)

Kat von D will never tattoo another agent as long as she lives! (Mollygood)

Kirsten “Vampire Chronicles” Dunst vanishes (Celebitchy)

Madonna is immortal. Because plastic can’t die (TheMeatScale)

Sorry, no Angelina Jolie or Avril Lavigne stories today. Haven’t you heard? They’re not Goth.