Ayyyy! » Kristen Stewart

How’s it going, Kristen Stewart?

raincoaster — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 06:52:13 +0000

It's one step away from finger guns

Holding it together, I see.

Kristen, sweetheart. I knew Liz Hurley. Liz Hurley once snubbed a friend of mine. You, my dear, are no Liz Hurley.

Liz doesn't actually care if it all falls apart, as indeed it did a few years later

Actually, I don’t hate the dress. I don’t see the point of it, but I don’t hate it. It looks like a twenty-thousand dollar cross between a punk rock leather jacket and a Christian Louboutin spike shoe. That said, something has obviously fundamentally changed in the celeb-o-sphere: She’s showing evidence of some emotion other than “mopey” and that’s got to be either a good thing or a sign the Rapture is indeed approaching. So what the heck, here’s to that with a Happy Face cocktail and some gossip links:

Batman shows off his Buggysnake, his birds, and his Bat Moves in Badass Brazilian Bat Dance Action! (raincoaster)

Name That Sock! Holey celebrity footwear, Batman, whoever that is should be arrested! (Ayyyy)

Blogger pimps out own social media workshops in shocking gossip link roundup non sequitur! (raincoastermedia)

Axl Rose, living avatar of Don’t Dad, thunders towards the stage edge, and a hundred fans leap backwards rather than be crushed beneath him like so many twiglets under an orca. (Lolebrity)

Game of Thrones recap: all the news you ever wanted on the best series you’re probably not watching. (Crasstalk)

Cambridge Scholar? You might be good enough to sign on as a servant at Casa Goopy. Yes, it’ll be torture working for her, but think of the book deal! (AgentBedhead)

It’s a man, baby! Blind item not quite as blind as this retro leading man might wish. (BusyBeeBlogger)

NOBODY ignores Anna Wintour and lives. Sienna Miller had better start saying her prayers (and also laying off the facial fillers). (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Did Jessica Biel get her pity fuck after all? Gerard Butler says…she’ll take what she can get; wouldn’t you? (CelebritySmack)

Strangely, I don’t recall the nude scene in Shakespeare. That’s not going to stop this underage starlet, though! (CelebVIPLounge)

Lauryn Hill is a Duggar at heart! She’s Sexto-Mom! (DailyStab)

Whiner Weiner’s weiner winner! Hey, there’s a reason they call it “congress”! (EarSucker)

I’m not sure if that’s a wardrobe malfunction or the best idea EVER! Justin Timberlake can lift and separate me any time! (FitFabCeleb)

Dear ScarJo: ProTip: this is not how you protect your privacy. You’re welcome. (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Jennifer Aniston would really, really like you to believe her this time, and so would both their publicists. (HaveUHeard)

There will be no One Night in Jennifer Lopez tape. Not if Jennifer Lopez can help it. (HollywoodHiccups)

Photo PROOF Gerard Butler looks like the Great Gazoo! I’m not kidding, people. Cannot be unseen! (INeedMyFix)

Is this a photo of Jack Black playing with himself on the red carpet? Yes. Yes, I’m pretty sure that it is. (MathewGuiver)

Rafael Nadal shows you one reason to love white jeans. Well, technically this might be two reasons… (SwoonWorthy)

Selah.

Hump Day Hunk Links: Ben Affleck and Black Beer

raincoaster — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 10:22:54 +0000

I know, I know.

I don’t CARE! I like him anyway: he purty. I propose a toast to Ben Affleck’s enduring aethetic appeal, and to make that toast we shall raise a glass of this newfangled Brewmaster’s Black Lager from Okanagan Springs that I just tasted today, as I was being interviewed for a podcast in the back room of a pub, which is generally the way I like to be interviewed if it can’t be on the deck of my shiny new yacht or the terrace of my beach villa in Costa Rica. Yes, black lager; that is what I call affirmative action, and I intend to affirm it as frequently as my diet will allow. This has been an un-paid-for plug inspired by Ben Affleck’s hawtness. You may now return to your regular gossip links.

Poor Elvis (Lolebrity)
Cruise with Captain Charon (raincoaster)
James Franco is a wanker (AgentBedhead)
St Angelina consoles sadly unfabulous Pakistanis (BusyBeeBlogger)
Gaga’s got some meat on her bones at last (CeleBitchy)
Oh come on; next you’ll be telling us her boobs are fake! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
The caftan does JSimp no favours (CelebritySmack)
I’m on a (filthy) boat! (CityRag)
This is an awkward triangle! (CojoStyle)
Jennifer Aniston attacking by proxy (DListed)
Billy Ray Cyrus produced a goth? (GabbyBabble)
Taylor Swift has the best hair in the NFL (HaveUHeard)
Someone PLEASE give Dennis Rodman a radio show (INeedMyFix)
Some Twihard’s dreams are coming true! (PerezHilton)
Eli Roth wanted for questioning (Pajiba)
But Mommy IS white trash (PoorBritney)
So Cougartown is bi-curious now? (SeriouslyOMG)

Tim Gunn vs the Superheros!

raincoaster — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 05:29:30 +0000

You won’t believe this. Your brain will explode from all the fabulousness on display as Tim Gunn of Project Runway tears apart the worst-loved super hero costumes of all time:

“You’d think an escape artist would want to have peripheral vision…”

“This looks so Broadway! I can just see Ann Miller tapdancing in this,” on Catwoman’s outfit. “I’m a fan of the Michelle Pfeiffer look, not the Halle Berry one. If your look is invoking the word “Halloween” that’s a sign it’s not working for you.”

And part two:

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

Lindsay Lohan’s new low: cannibalism! (Lolebrity)
Celebutweet of the day: Mel Gibson (TrueSlant)
Don’t stop till you’ve got enough (raincoaster)
The magical healing power of shoes! (ShoeBlogs)
Not exactly the Dove of Peace (ManoloBig)
The sweet smell of Success! (ManoloMen)
CelebrityDad Faceoff: Bale vs Day-Lewis (TeenyManolo)
George Carlin was prescient (ManoloFood)
Reincarnating furniture (ManoloHome)
If Donnie Darko had lived, this would have been his wedding cake (ManoloBrides)
Kim Cattrall’s dream comes true (BusyBeeBlogger)
Vampires crushed by super-villain (CeleBitchy)
Switzerland is NO place for a family vacation! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Pro-Am pornstar challenge! (CelebritySmack)
Brad Pitt once again beautiful beyond the lot of mortals (DListed)
The most mind-boggling piece of clothing in the history of the world (FourFour)
The Dream is over for Christina Milian (GabbyBabble)
Angelina defends her celebucub fashionista (HaveUHeard)
Pamela Anderson is going back in time! (EvilBeet)
Cindy Crawford is not mortal! (INeedMyFix)
But Betty White IS a god! (Movieline)
Prince Harry’s ex downgrades to reality tv (UKPopSugar)
How can you be so messed up you get fired from being a rehab patient? (PopBytes)
The King and Queen of America (SeriouslyOMG)
Who got cheated on the Emmy Nominations? (SquareEyes)

Tangerine Tom Jones gossip links!

raincoaster — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 06:45:08 +0000

Just in case you’ve ever wondered what our ancestors saw in high-waisted pants, here’s Tom Jones to clarify, in eye-ripping orange.

and now, your gossip link roundup:

Why do they love Michael Jackson so much? (TrueSlant)

Celine and Cher stare into the past and the future (Lolebrity)

Secret Love (TheManolo)

Love animals? (ManoloHome)

Who loves School Food? (ManoloFood)

Love to hate this type (ManoloBrides)

Leg-loving men (ManoloMen)

Which celebrity dad do you love best? (TeenyManolo)

Love the model, hate the artist? (ManoloBig)

Pigs in love (raincoaster)

Shirley loves Kristen (AgentBedhead)

Whitney Port’s new look: Love it or Leave it? (AmyGrindhouse)

Love floats? (BusyBeeBlogger)

Worst Guy in the World finds Love (CeleBitchy)

Everybody loves Susan Boyle (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

We all love to watch Paris go down (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Give your heavy metal patriotism some love (CelebritySmack)

Granny will love this (CojoStyle)

Gerard Butler speaks out about his secret love (DailyStab)

Don’t you love a good Lilo fight? (DListed)

Amy Winehouse, slave to love (EvilBeet)

Karl Lagerfeld’s advice on love’s little side-effects (FakeKarl)

Betty White loves LeBron and Cleveland (GabbyBabble)

Britney LOVES her coffee (GoFugYourself)

Rihanna shows the Look of Love (HaveUHeard)

Somebody’s in love with Matt Damon (INeedMyFix)

Mel Gibson loves four letter words (IBBB)

Men love Marisa Miller (JustJared)

Sending our love to Back to the Future: Happy 25th! (Movieline)

Love among the Vampires (UKPopSugar)

Everybody loves Liza! (PopBytes)

Nobody loves Stephen Fry’s new look (SeriouslyOMG)

Tom Jones: Chicken Thief (manolith.com)

Rare Supernatural Manifestation

raincoaster — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 09:37:08 +0000

Yes, Kristen Stewart smiling. I couldn’t believe it either.

Michael Jackson, a saint for our times (TrueSlant)

Michael Jackson still dead: update at 11 (raincoaster)

Chuck Norris, designer (lolebrity)

Atheists don’t get hymns (TheManolo)

Work it out (ManoloHome)

Consolation Prize (ManoloBig)

Swaddling clothes have a LIMIT PEOPLE: Bridal Diaper myth debunked (ManoloBrides)

It’s confession time! (TeenyManolo)

Katy Perry and Russell Brand are off the market? (AllieIsWired)

Sandra is Free! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Lohan 2.0 isn’t waiting for the casting agents (CeleBitchy)

The plastic surgery double standard (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jennifer Capriati took a shot at suicide (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Amy Locane DUI Death (CelebritySmack)

Pocket celebs (CityRag)

I’m sorry, hon, Elizabeth Hurley comes along once in a lifetime (SeriouslyOMG)

Oprah on top (HaveUHeard)

Prince Harry goes down (INeedMyFix)

Butt Kristen!

raincoaster — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 12:48:02 +0000

Now this, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is a waste of effort. Because the actual function of a bustle is to add curves where there aren’t any by nature. Famously contrarian Twilight star Kristen Stewart, however, seems to have found one that makes her behind look even flatter than before. Um, congrats? You’re about to become the empowering inspiration for third-rate female impersonators around the globe.

Pierre Cardin’s New Look Links

raincoaster — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 05:16:23 +0000

I dunno about this new accessory line from Pierre Cardin the master of perfume licensing and the go-go boot. I think he’s definitely lost touch with the world of accessories, don’t you?

Fergie, Duchess of Plonk! (TrueSlant)

Did you say “caged FEET?” (TheManolo)

Gary Coleman: the jive is strong with this one (Lolebrity)

Ashton overshares (AgentBedhead)

George Clooney’s in town: lock up your brunette strippers! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Kristen, honey, it’s only a couple of pictures (CeleBitchy)

Dustup in the Desert! (CelebrityBeehive)

NASCAR loser (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Lindsay enjoys the taste of clean living with Victoria Hervey and SamRo (CelebritySmack)

Canuckistan rising! (DailyStab)

Gaga gaga? (EvilBeet)

Megan Fox auditions for Victoria’s Secret…at LAX (HaveUHeard)

Pink didn’t marry him for his brains, you know (INeedMyFix)

Don’t worry, Madonna will adopt him (IBBB)

Animals at the zoo (UKPopSugar)

Don’t Sweat It, Mariah: we’ve got your links!

raincoaster — Thu, 13 May 2010 11:39:31 +0000

I’m not exactly sure how to parse this platform-stiletto-and-cropped-sweats look. Perhaps Mariah’s gym is flooded?

Nuts! Sami Salo’s balls of steel hit the ice, go down (TrueSlant)

Cthulhu sex tape shocker! (raincoaster)

Karl Lagerfeld haiku for u! (Lolebrity)

Whose shoes? (TheManolo)

Nips Akimbo! (ManoloBig)

Out! Out! (ManoloHome)

Stick a fork in it! (ManoloBrides)

Demons begone! But only on weekends! (AgentBedhead)

Gisele inspires thoughts of death! (AmyGrindhouse)

Hayden Christensen back from career death (BusyBeeBlogger)

St Bono is invoked for protection against sanctimony (DippedInCream)

Vampire babies! (CeleBitchy)

The tears of a Golem! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Lisa Marie wants offerings to the dead! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Death runs in the family (CelebritySmack)

Keith Richards is Benjamin Button! (HolyMoly)

Career ambitions slaughtered! (DailyStab)

Sir Ian McKellan not quite dead yet! (DListed)

Necronauts need money, too ya know! (EvilBeet)

A threat from Skeletor! (GabbyBabble)

Is Calvin Klein a soul vampire? (Gawker)

The franchise that CANNOT DIE! (HaveUHeard)

Yetis! (INeedMyFix)

Zombie Katherine Heigl? (JustJared)

Helen Mirren and Doppelganger Mirren! (LitelySalted)

Salute the dead! (MovieLine)

Kiefer is eternal! (UKPopSugar)

The tomb is open but the body is dead! (SeriouslyOMG)

Monday Man Links

raincoaster — Mon, 10 May 2010 10:41:45 +0000

Let’s start the week right with some eye candy, shall we? Presenting Prince Hot Ginge:

As Borat would say, “verrrrry niiiiiiiiice!” The great thing about uniforms is, if they look bad the entire country complains about them until they get fixed; in a way, it’s sort of crowdsourcing design. Yes, there are practical considerations to which one must Iraqiesce. Sure, it may never be as sleek as if Hedi Slimane got his hands on it, but on the plus side, most of the recruits would be able to fit into the uniforms without contracting cosmetic tuberculosis first.

Sami Salo’s Internet Celebrity Takes Balls (True/Slant)

Nicole Kidman can’t exorcise the ghost of Tom Cruise (Lolebrity)

Red Sole Diaries (TheManolo)

The Death of Cute (TheBigGirls)

Jennifer Aniston’s baby food consequences (TeenyManolo)

These crazy kids! (ManoloHome)

Happy Mother of the Bride Day (ManoloBrides)

Henry Rollins is outed! (AgentBedhead)

RIP Lena Horne (AmyGrindhouse)

Betty White OWNs Saturday Night (BusyBeeBlogger)

Heidi Klum wants into your closet! (CeleBitchy)

You’re the man now, Chaz! (CelebDirtyLaundry)