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Lily Allen comes out

Lily Allen's new look is sending a message

Lily Allen’s new look is sending a message

Dedicated scenester and comeback aspirant Lily Allen sent a powerful visual message yesterday while attending the BAFTAs. The message confirmed long-held rumours in the celebusphere.  It’s time, her outfit screamed, to take back our power, to flaunt our true nature, to throw off the disguises that have, for so long, allowed us to pass as other than what we truly are.

We are Reptiles. And we are proud.

Addicts of Mugwump fluid are known as Reptiles. A number of these flow over chairs with their flexible bones and black-pink flesh. A fan of cartilage covered with hollow, erectile hairs through which the Reptiles absorb the fluid sprouts from behind each ear. The fans, which move from time to time touched by invisible currents, serve also some form of communication known only to Reptiles.

In those days of grey terror the Reptiles dart about faster and faster, scream past each other at supersonic speed, their flexible skulls flapping in black winds of insect agony. The Dream Police disintegrate in globs of rotten ectoplasm swepty away by an old junky, goughing nad spitting in the sick morning. The Mugwump Man comes with alabaster jars of fluid and the Reptiles get smoothed out.

The air is once again still and clear as glycerine.

And that, dear readers, is probably the most accurate description of a night and next morning at Lily Allen’s house the world has ever seen. It’s hard out here for a Reptile.


To read more about Lily’s heretofor secret life, pick up this handy guide.

Tiger Blood Cocktail Links

Diddy? Oh yes he DID!

Diddy? Oh yes he DID!

Are you WINNING? Diddy sure is, and PWNING too. BOOM!

RIP OD (CelebritySmack)

REM RT (CelebrityVIPLounge)

WINNING! photoshops (CityRag)

SO FAR, Demi. So far… (DailyStab)

Adele is pro-gossip (DippedInCream)

Everybody but me has a book deal and a sex tape (EarSucker)

Three planets that size make a solar plexus system (FitFabCeleb)

Remember Lily Allen? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

One gets Africa, one gets New York? (HaveUHeard)

Aw man, don’t bling that thing! (HollywoodHiccups)

They have country music in Belgium? (INeedMyFix)

Roseanne Barr and Charlie Sheen? (MathewGuiver)

KFed/FedX Xpands (PoorBritney)

“Country Music’s newest star” (PopBytes)

TURBAN SIGHTING!!! (TheSkinny)

Bikini baby bump (TheSkinnyChic)

 

 

Do You Hear What I Hear?

That rumbling sound in the distance?

Kim Kardashian Kardigan

Kim Kardashian Kardigan

Relax: it’s not an earthquake. It’s just the Earl of Cardigan rolling over in his grave.

Dear Santa, is it SO much to ask… (raincoaster)

Santa Andy has to put up with some mean drunks on Christmas (Ayyyy)

Julia Child, acolyte of Cthulhu??? (ManoloFood)

Ryan Gosling is into light bondage (Lolebrity)

The War on Christmas tweets (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Aniston has the scent of desperation (AmyGrindhouse)

Hugh Jackman has cricket balls (BusyBeeBlogger)

Alanis Morissette for Ever (CeleBitchy)

Natalie Portman is packing babeh, off the market (CelebritySmack)

Is EVERYONE pregnant? Please stop her before she breeds (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Hottest accessory of 2010: Klingonhead (CityRag)

But would Lady Gaga have broken up the Beatles? (EvilBeet)

KK hits rock bottom and starts digging (FitFabCeleb)

World’s most hated couple makes honest homewreckers of one another (GabbyBabble)

Best Busts of 2010 (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Kelly Osbourne goes Full Flamewar (HaveUHeard)

Justin Bieber’s impurity ring (INeedMyFix)

To get your little gold man, get a little man of your own (Movieline)

Richard Chamberlain comes out, Perez whacks him (PerezHilton)

and all I got were slipper socks. AGAIN (PopBytes)

Lily Allen is engaged (PopSugar)

Santa brought the world some JLoHew/AlyMil action (SeriouslyOMG)

Charlie Sheen not dead (WeNewsIt)

Michelle Williams sacks up Links

Blue Valentine After Party - Arrivals: 63rd Cannes Film Festival

Um, what is going on here? From the look on her face, it would seem that the lovely and talented Michelle Williams has lost a bet and been forced into this unflattering, bedazzled and ruffled sack of fug for her Cannes premiere. Her eyes say “Help me” while her body says…well, we can’t hear what it’s saying because it’s being smothered by an overgrown pillowcase.

Ian McKellen, Lord of the Blogs (TrueSlant)

Ian McKellen is DONE with this shizznit! (Lolebrity)

PJs for all! (TheManolo)

Someday my prints will come (ManoloHome)

Sheer silliness (ManoloBrides)

Blind flood puppy update! (ManoloBig)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff! Hugh Jackman vs Stephen Moyer (TeenyManolo)

Inside John Malkovich’s head (AgentBedhead)

Kate Moss burgled! (AmyGrindhouse)

Porn model now porn actress (BricksAndStones)

Rock Out to Beat Cancer (BusyBeeBlogger)

Britney wigs out! (CeleBitchy)

Celebrity trade wars (CelebrityBeehive)

Jonas Brothers UNCAGED! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Butt Paris! (CelebritySmack)

Celebrity sex swapping (CityRag)

Rachel Bilson is a fembot? (CojoStyle)

Russell Brand, Elle of a guy (DailyStab)

Justin Bieber is a gift from god (EvilBeet)

Orange silicone creature frightens children (GabbyBabble)

JLo IS SATC (GoFugYourself)

Bono’s back! (HaveUHeard)

Padma dates down (INeedMyFix)

Don’t worry, Lindsay, this happens to everyone (IBBB)

James Franco goes ape (JustJared)

Cats get Lost (Movieline)

Jake Gyllenhaal brings teh sexay…to the front row? (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Lily Allen schlubs out (UKPopSugar)

Grace Jones, superhero! (PopBytes)

The hottest men on tv (SeriouslyOMG)

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Hump Day Links: Owen Wilson Edition

UK Film Premier : Marley And Me - Inside Arrivals

Yes, it’s a special request Hump Day Hunk; normally we don’t take requests, but this was persuasively phrased and besides, we just like looking at Owen Wilson as often as humanly possible, so here. The nice suit and Keds look was invented for this man.

Tupac dodged a bullet…oh, wait. (Lolebrity)

It’s baaaaaack! (Manolo)

Ray Bradbury, interior decorator (ManoloHome)

Calling opinionated brides (ManoloBrides)

Suck it, Australia! (ManoloBig)

I hope they weren’t used! (TeenyManolo)

Manorexia’s poster boys (AgentBedhead)

Stop the presses: Tila Tequila is dumb???? (AllieIsWired)

Justin Bieber is black (AmyGrindhouse)

Stop the presses: Megan Fox is dumb???? (BricksAndStones)

John Travolta and Kelly Preston replace purse dogs with baby (BusyBeeBlogger)

Wait, Megan Fox really IS dumb (CeleBitchy)

The incredible, buoyant boobies! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

How today’s stars will age (MSNBC)

Dame Elizabeth: Cowboy boots, muumuu, and a king’s ransom in gems (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Stop the presses: Lindsay Lohan’s parole officer is dumb???? (CelebritySmack)

Stop the presses: Bristol Palin’s clients are dumb??? (CelebVIPLounge)

Six Degrees of STDs (CityRag)

Woody Allen’s threesome (CojoStyle)

We nose, NeNe! (Crunk&Disorderly)

Jennifer Aniston has rhinoplasty by photoshop (DailyStab)

Queen of the prom…in San Quentin, in about two months (DListed)

Don’t let her near the diamonds! (Lainey)

This man is my HERO! (EvilBeet)

Stop the presses: Eliza Dushku fans are dumb??? (GabbyBabble)

Stop the presses: Kennedys DRINK??? (Gawker)

Diaper jodhpurs are NEVER a good idea (GoFugYourself)

Red Carpet Slideshow (HaveUHeard)

Prince of Pers- oooooh, sorry, what was I saying? (INeedMyFix)

Hamlet was bulimic? (IBBB)

Ryan Gosling’s blue movie (JustJared)

Edgar Allan Poe’s had a little work done (LitelySalted)

Who you gonna call? (MovieLine)

Johnny Depp in your face! (PerezHilton)

Kylie is magic (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Robert Pattinson on Ellen??? (UKPopSugar)

Marion Cotillard has a sackful of mystery (PopBytes)

Lindsay will have to pull a Polanski (Radar)

Jake is trying to get my attention (SeriouslyOMG)

Ryan Reynolds wears the ugliest superhero costume of all time (TenGossip)

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And, since you made it all the way to the bottom, you deserve some more Hump Day eye candy. Say hello to the future Mister raincoaster.

Jake Gyllenhaal Prince of Persia premiere

It’s Shatner’s World

Olympics - Closing Ceremony

Yes, it’s William Shatner’s world. We only dwell in it.

Bob Crane most certainly DID! (Lolebrity)

L.Ron is at it again (AgentBedhead)

Leno’s Monologue (AmyGrindhouse)

Leno’s Monologue reviewed (DrunkHulk)

Lesbian liplock lost! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Lions, lambs, Robert Pattison, and Betty White in a tree (CeleBitchy)

Love vs Lily (EvilBeet)

Lyrical magic (DListed)

Lucas to destroy Scientology (Gawker)

Ladies swing free (DailyStab)

La Lauper at Launch (CelebritySmack)

Lady Gaga hangs loose (CelebDirtyLaundry)

LoHew still employed (GabbyBabble)

Life of a teenage fug queen (GoFugYourself)

Love, vampire style (INeedMyFix)

Laverne without Shirley (IBBB)

Lads Own World (LitelySalted)

Legion of Twitterati (Movieline)

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Hump Day Links: The Death of the Monarchy Edition

Spanish Prince Felipe and Letizia Visit Roncesvalles


Prince Felipe of Spain tries his best to make up for the injustice of hereditary monarchy by being really, really ridiculously good-looking.

Andrew Koenig’s body found (TrueSlant)

How to raise a Death Eater (Lolebrity)

Reports of his death have been greatly exaggerated (AgentBedhead)

Paris in the mourning (AmyGrindhouse)

Get a coffin of your own (AllieIsWired)

Charlie Sheen locked up at last (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Canada mourns (BusyBeeBlogger)

John Hamm has a gun in his pocket (AccidentalSexiness)

JSimp slammed for porker faux pas (CeleBitchy)

Whitney Houston died out there (CelebritySmack)

Pickleback slays ’em (PopEater)

I Believe this is your token happy link (CelebVIPLounge)

Lily Allen passed out, passed over (HolyMoly)

The Return of Mark Kerrigan (EvilBeet)

Johnny Depp is surprised to still be here (DailyStab)

Antonio Banderas turns Unabomber (DListed)

Ashton Kutcher will kill the internet (Towleroad)

Kellan Lutz doesn’t want you to kill puppies! (GabbyBabble)

Blood in the water! (GoFugYourself)

Lady Gaga’s body parts (HaveUHeard)

Matt Damon is a dead man (INeedMyFix)

Time to kill animals! (IBBB)

The death of New Age (LitelySalted)

Jay Leno dances on Conan’s grave (Movieline)

Beautiful Thieves (TenGossip)

Far less beautiful thieves (Heeb)

Craig Ferguson killed his audience (SeriouslyOMG)

These ads will kill your fun (PerezHilton)

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Diet Coke on the Rocks Links

Make mine a double. I need the caffeine to counter the No-Name Cold And Flu Extra Super Megatron Strength tabs I picked up off that guy in the alley.

Slumdog Millionaire or Future Nike Factory Worker? (TheBlemish)

Beverly Hills Millionaire or future therapy patient? (AllieIsWired)

at least he can still fly (AmyGrindhouse)

Does Rihanna have an undiagnosed head injury? (WizbangPop)

Times are tough for everyone as U2 does an honest day’s work (YouTube)

As does Debra Messing (GoFugYourself)

Will Joke For Food (ASL)

The Butterscotch Stallion puts the feedbag on (Websters)

Social media at its most anti-social (IBBB)

Duffy’s duff (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindsay and Lily: when drama queens collide! (UKPopSugar)

Duchess of York, Countess of Cavalli (Grazia)

Happy belated birthday, Jensen Ackles (TenGossip)

The Britney Spears circus is a tease (ImNotObsessed)

Like, dating is hard (EvilBeet)

Bruce Springsteen vs the Evil Empire (GabbyBabble)

Snoophammad? (HolyMoly)

The return of the Wino (PopBytes)

First Lady not second best (POTP)

Lindsay Lohan plans ahead (DailyStab)

and it takes a LOT to mortify Kanye (CelebuWreck)

Freebies aren’t good enough for Octomom (CelebritySmack)

Scarjo rocks the purple turban? (AgentBedhead)

Jonas Brothers go topless (Towleroad)

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