Ayyyy!

“Juliet? You’re breaking up…look, why don’t we just meet at the churchyard? You bring the eyeliner and candles, I’ll bring some Evanescence CDs.”

He Pingping was a small wonder (True/Slant)

Bogie prepares to par-tay! (Lolebrity)

Iggy goes off-script (AgentBedhead)

The Betty and Veronica of male has-beens continue their respective roles (AmyGrindhouse)

Russell Brand can’t even walk barefoot correctly (BusyBeeBlogger)

Britney’s on the loose! (CeleBitchy)

Irish sayings for St. Patrick’s Day (CelebritySmack)

American Idol is killer (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Michael Lohan has a heart??? (DailyStab)

Kim Cattrall, Cat woman (INeedMyFix)

Kirstie Alley is cheap and irreligious! (HaveUHeard)

Shia Labeouf  should have gotten a hook! (GabbyBabble)

Have you seen Kate Winslet’s bum? (EvilBeet)

Betty White is a goddess! (IBBB)

Justin Biehber is a Twit! (LitelySalted)

Coco is a dictator! (Movieline)

Ben Stiller is a victim! (SeriouslyOMG)

Supernatural is covered! (TenGossip)

Okay, Sven Kramer, my imaginary boyfriend, you may have gotten the gold for the fastest skater and the gold for the purtiest Olympian other than Johnny “Fierce” Weir, but I’m still saying the Russian in the back there wins the platinum medal in the fashion Olympics. Don’t nobody look their best in orange. Not even you:

And seriously; ankle socks?

Lindsay Lohan airs it out (Lolebrity)

Lara vs Leia (AgentBedhead)

Elvis Pattinson immortalized (AmyGrindhouse)

Clive Owen steals some poor girl’s jacket (BusyBeeBlogger)

and she wonders why she doesn’t have any friends (INeedMyFix)

Gilligan’s Island of the Living Dead (CelebritySmack)

Lohan throwdown (AllieIsWired)

Lilo on the down low (HolyMoly)

Flying Tomato peels! (DailyStab)

The family that tases together, stayses together (GabbyBabble)

Betcha can’t fug just one (GoFugYourself)

Someone please give Sarah Palin a real job (Gawker)

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! (EvilBeet)

Giantess free to attack again! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

These tourists are SO much prettier than ours (HaveUHeard)

Fran Drescher Fission! (IBBB)

There’s a thin line… (LitelySalted)

Moon, June, Spoon, Gay PrOn? (Movieline)

We like JLo’s Hue (TenGossip)

Bride of Freakenstein (PopBytes)

Well THIS should get a telethon (DListed)

Remember … to SMILE, dummy (UKPopSugar)

Jane Fonda shouldn’ta blogged it! (CelebCosmeticSurgery)

Olympic Medalist Moguliste Hannah Kearney of the US isn’t sure which to admire more: her gold medal or the sweet bouquet of BC Bud with which she was presented.

This is what she sees later that night (Lolebrity)

Stephen Baldwin does NOT fancy vampires (AgentBedhead)

Brittany Murphy’s shaky Foundation (AmyGrindhouse)

Tila Tequila falls on butt, suffers brain injury (AllieIsWired)

Bono has come back to me (BusyBeeBlogger)

Stephen Colbert brings it: 1812, The Rematch! (CeleBitchy)

Kiefer is down for the count! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Jennifer Garner goes Elektra on VDay (PopEater)

Kevin Smith, mad Twitterbomber (CelebritySmack)

Hate NBC? Love families? Make them pay! (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Hugo Boss shops Canadian (DailyStab)

Joe Biden, you’re no Dick Cheney (Gawker)

Robert Pattinson is open to homoeopathy (DListed)

Britney’s special Valentine (EvilBeet)

The Olympic Schedule (HaveUHeard)

A year in the life of LiLo (IBBB)

Kelly Osbourne is still alive (INeedMyFix)

Perez and John Mayer sittin’ in a tree… (LitelySalted)

Pups & Order (NastyNets)

Make your own star baby (TenGossip)

Nekkid Brit: keeper or throw back? (UKPopSugar)

But are we, in fact, the world? (PopBytes)

Movie mulligans (Movieline)

Yes, yes, boring I know. Herbal tea gossip links just don’t have the dash of cocktail links, but what can I say? I’m giving my liver a month off for bad behaviour. It’s probably snorting Drano with Lindsay Lohan in Ibiza right this very moment.

Here’s a pic of Old Four Eyes to soften the disappointment.

Who Will Be the Olympic Torchbearer? (True/Slant)

Sandra Bullock’s Sure-Fire Oscar Strategy (Lolebrity)

Paris in Paris (AgentBedhead)

Babeh Becker (AmyGrindhouse)

Topless models make passes at men who wear (Tom Ford) glasses (BusyBeeBlogger)

Lilo too partied out to party? (CeleBitchy)

Ireland is SO grounded! (CelebritySmack)

Travolta’s toupe (HolyMoly)

The World of Plastics on display (IBBB)

Do they HAVE interns in hospitals? (DailyStab)

RIP Alexander McQueen (INeedMyFix)

Gwyneth Paltrow, Brown Rice Queen (LaineyGossip)

Alan Rickman reading love poems – thud! (UKPopSugar)

Are you DOWN with the CLOWN? (EvilBeet)

Another Vacation coming soon (CelebrityVIPLounge)

The secret to longer life (CelebDirtyLaundry)

John Edwards closes barn door after horse bolts (CelebrityMound)

Project Runway recap (HaveUHeard)

Robert Pattinson shower scene (HollywoodBackwash)

Lindsay Lohan, Closet Case (Movieline)

Lost Valentines (TenGossip)

Here we see heir to the British Throne His Royal Highness Prince Charles Philip Arthur George, Prince of Wales, KG, KT, GCB, OM, AK, QSO, PC, ADC, Earl of Chester, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles and Prince and Great Steward of Scotland presenting medals to soldiers of the famed and historic Black Watch. Which points up two things:

one, that the Black Watch has abandoned the wearing of Black Watch, and

two, that if we can see him the camo doesn’t work very well!

Which reminds me of the time I was walking down The Drive and saw this guy dressed head to toe in camo. Camo shoes, pants, jacket, tee, hat, and backpack. I deliberately bumped into him and said, “Oh, sorry. I didn’t see you.”

He didn’t get it.

The Revenge of Coco (Gawker)

Quentin Tarantino to helm Conan flick (AgentBedhead)

Neil Patrick Harris shares a touching moment with Mickey Rourke (Lolebrity)

Old Friends (AmyGrindhouse)

Sig Hell! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Putting the “Brit” in Britney (CeleBitchy)

Finally, someone impresses Simon Cowell (CelebritySmack)

Golden gobs (HolyCandy)

Angel Falls to Earth (this is not a repeat from Paradise Lost) (INeedMyFix)

Hilary Duff, Garbo impersonator (JustJared)

Ice this old qualifies as glacial, no? (UKPopSugar)

Not enough Cthulhu! (Movieline)

The Cupcake of Doom (Crunk&Disorderly)

Lindsay Lohan embarks on a new career (DListed)

Martha Stewart goes pole hog (EvilBeet)

Jay, even the angry lesbians are against you now. Surrender before you get maimed (GabbyBabble)

Re-assemble your celebrity (INO)

Bill Gates on Manhunt? (raincoaster)

Mr Bean goes to the Spanish Parliament (Guardian)

Iran. Iran so far away (Gawker)

Guido 2.0 (Lolebrity)

Eli Roth hacked and attacked by 200 Mexicans (Twitter)

Remix Trent Reznor (AgentBedhead)

Ellen Photoshops her way into the AI lineup (AmyGrindhouse)

RPattz and KStew ambushed! (AllieIsWired)

Lilo is robbed! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Rihanna’s outfit slashed! (INeedMyFix)

Pete and Ashlee hack the paps (CelebritySmack)

Redmond O’Neal busted again (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Mariah Carey’s jewels cased (HolyCandy)

OctoDoc takes the rap (CeleBitchy)

Angel stops cougar attack (DListed)

Celebrities caught in action (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Mischa Barton turns hooker (DailyStab)

The LA Coroner is mystified (EvilBeet)

Sean Penn is a stooge (GabbyBabble)

Madonna takes the rap (INO)

Halle Berry hacked! (JustJared)

Gay blades Jim Carrey and Ewan MacGregor come out (Movieline)

JSimp’s hairy sitch (PopSugar)

More deets on the Bear Jew Werewolf Shark attack (TenGossip)

Joan Rivers is a threat to national security (LitelySalted)

Ah, after all these years, what has not already been said about the protean talents of hottie and character actor Colin Farrell? Remember the time LiLo gave him her phone number in the gym? And he asked her how old she was? And she said seventeen? And he handed the card back and said call me in a year? and she did? And the rest is (medical) history?

He didn’t look like this back then:

Yes, it’s Colin “hottest fry cook in the chip wagon” Farrell, the pride of Dublin. Actually, given how drastically Lindsay’s gone downhill in the last year, he’s probably out of her league now, however much he might try to tone down teh sex-ay.

And believe me, he’s trying.

So Colin, what do you think of Bruges? (NSFW language, unless you work as a blogger, in which case at least be sure the people in the cafe can’t hear this)

Sure, blondes have more fun, but does she LOOK like a girl who likes to have fun? (AgentBedhead)

There IS justice in the world (AmyGrindhouse)

Kendra Wilkinson a FAR better actress than anyone suspected (BusyBeeBlogger)

If nomenclature and PR couldn’t keep these guys together, what hope IS there? (CelebritySmack)

Topless hunks in headless story (PopSugar)

Vampires: they’re JUST like us! (Lainey)

Van spawns MINI-Van (DListed)

Buh-BYE, Ty-Ty! (DailyStab)

PETA’s pet peeves (CeleBitchy)

MUST-see tv (Gawker)

Brit is BROWN! (EvilBeet)

Lindsay’s found her CALLING (HolyCandy)

Rapist sues over label; still fine with DOUCHE tho (LitelySalted)

Homeless couple spotted with ADORABLE children (GabbyBabble)

MALFOY in MIAMI! (INO)

Charlie Sheen’s Christmas CARDED (JustJared)

The AVATAR Holiday Special! (Movieline)

Mariah CARRY! (SeriouslyOMG)

Beckham’s BACK! (PopBytes)

Ava Jackman demonstrates that the ability to upstage one’s costars is genetic.

Katy Perry shows that Santa really IS coming (Lolebrity)

Daniel Radcliffe’s bum career (AgentBedhead)

Tiger is hiding his wood in several different club bags (AmyGrindhouse)

Bridget dumps Bernie, moves on to Bernice (BWE)

Dave Navarro OWNS the celebrity blogosphere (BBB)

Sarah Jessica Parker hiring nannies from sweatshops? (CeleBitchy)

George Michael OWNS celebrity Christmas music (PopBytes)

Mickey Rourke takes another prize (HolyMoly)

Oh noes! JT has a mini-fro! (LitelySalted)

Kingston Rossdale has a fauxhawk (CelebritySmack)

The gayest video of all time? (Crunk+Disorderly)

Marilyn Monroe and Maryjane (DailyStab)

The Hills, the comic book (Gawker)

Goth Skater Cocktail Chic (GoFugYourself)

Whitney Houston LOVES awards (FourFour)

Happy Birthday Britney (GabbyBabble)

John Mayer really cares about our Golden Couple (EvilBeet)

Susan Boyle is unstoppable (DListed)

Mischa Barton, soon to appear on Oprah (INO)

Jessica Simpson, Not Working (Justjared)

Sandra Bullock plays quarterback (Movieline)

Help John Mellencamp quit smoking (SeriouslyOMG)