It was just one of those days. One of those Double Jack Daniels Manhattan days. Actually, it was one of those TWO Double Jack Daniels Manhattan days.

Moving on…

Another reason to hate Gwyneth Paltrow (HolyMoly)

Lady Gaga NSFAustralia (AmyGrindhouse)

Lindsay Lohan drunk-dials US (BusyBeeBlogger)

Octovision! (AgentBedhead)

Bono goes fishing (PopBytes)

Honestly, who brings their own drugs to a jail visit? (CelebritySmack)

Pink’s washboard (TheBlemish)

Jessica Simpson soon to appear at an unemployment office near you (CeleBitchy)

Nerdcore man-candy at Star Trek promo (EvilBeet)

Eminem shares the Spock luv (Jezebel)

DRod gets deep sixed (DailyStab)

Rapunzel Man (DListed)

The Beatles are back! (GabbyBabble)

Harriet Carter Wednesday (IBBB)

Sienna Miller’s chest sponsored by Burger King and Spongebob Squarepants? (INO)

Madonna adopts Italy (UKPopSugar)

Lilo unrestrained! (POTP)

Twitter owns Ashlee Simpson’s baby pix (JustJared)

Head Start for Celebrity Babies (SeriouslyOMG)

Hugh Jackman drops in (ASL)

JLoHew’s escort faux pas (TENGossip)

Seriously, two Strongbows and I was down for the count. My liver’s gotten soft during the dry spell. As a proud Irish-Canuck, I’m mortified. But, of course, as a proud Canuck, I can always get another liver for free.

Trent Reznor is nervous (AgentBedhead)

Instead of watching television, you could just watch really, really stupid people all the time (AmyGrindhouse)

Lohan banned (BusyBeeBlogger)

Rihanna recovers from apparent temporary brain injury (CeleBitchy)

Bruno is out (CelebritySmack)

Blog commenters have more sex (Gawker)

Which reminds me, have you commented in the caption contest yet? (TeenyManolo)

or the Celebrity Dad Faceoff? (TeenyManolo)

Johnny Depp saves lives? (EvilBeet)

Jamie-Lynn Spears is legal! (DListed)

U2′s latest charity case (CelebuWreck)

Kylie is an unnatural beauty (GabbyBabble)

Getting it too right (GoFugYourself)

Robert Pattinson a dick at Dicks on Dicks (INO)

Ashton Kutcher topless and…and who cares what else? (JustJared)

Announcing the best chest in the world (raincoaster)

Hollywood’s golden couple reunites (SeriouslyOMG)

The Jade Goody retrospective (UKPopSugar)

Why has Jamie Oliver got it in for Bob Geldof? (HolyMoly)

Kristen Stewart talks about some howlers (TenGossip)

Seth Rogen will make the little babies cry (Websters)

Yep, still living pure. Cocoa, fresh vegetables, whole grains, and the finest flu and cold medicines known to mankind. I’m seeing quadruple!

Om nom nom Lohan (Websters)

Jesse Metcalfe brings the Elvis Hair (TenGossip)

Heidi Klum shows off her panties (ASL)

Robin Williams’ unscheduled downtime (SeriouslyOMG)

Daryl Hannah still exists! (PopBytes)

Kate Moss isn’t pregnant and DON’T YOU FORGET IT (UKPopSugar)

The 25 stupidest outfits ever (BWE)

Nikki Taylor 2.0 (ImNotObsessed)

Angelina goes blonde (IBBB)

Life IS like High School Musical reunions (GoFugYourself)

The 80′s really are back (EvilBeet)

Radiohead puts Miley Cyrus in her place (Lainey)

Michael Jackson concerts announced, chaos to ensue (HolyMoly)

Jennifer Aniston a botox-free zone? (DailyStab)

Kardashians putting the “ass” in “class” again (CelebritySmack)

Octomom production tape for sale (AmyGrindhouse)

Juliette Lewis, the hardest-working Scientologist in showbusiness (AgentBedhead)

Make mine a double. I need the caffeine to counter the No-Name Cold And Flu Extra Super Megatron Strength tabs I picked up off that guy in the alley.

Slumdog Millionaire or Future Nike Factory Worker? (TheBlemish)

Beverly Hills Millionaire or future therapy patient? (AllieIsWired)

at least he can still fly (AmyGrindhouse)

Does Rihanna have an undiagnosed head injury? (WizbangPop)

Times are tough for everyone as U2 does an honest day’s work (YouTube)

As does Debra Messing (GoFugYourself)

Will Joke For Food (ASL)

The Butterscotch Stallion puts the feedbag on (Websters)

Social media at its most anti-social (IBBB)

Duffy’s duff (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindsay and Lily: when drama queens collide! (UKPopSugar)

Duchess of York, Countess of Cavalli (Grazia)

Happy belated birthday, Jensen Ackles (TenGossip)

The Britney Spears circus is a tease (ImNotObsessed)

Like, dating is hard (EvilBeet)

Bruce Springsteen vs the Evil Empire (GabbyBabble)

Snoophammad? (HolyMoly)

The return of the Wino (PopBytes)

First Lady not second best (POTP)

Lindsay Lohan plans ahead (DailyStab)

and it takes a LOT to mortify Kanye (CelebuWreck)

Freebies aren’t good enough for Octomom (CelebritySmack)

Scarjo rocks the purple turban? (AgentBedhead)

Jonas Brothers go topless (Towleroad)

Unfortunately there is no meat to be found in this sandwich, but not to worry – there should be ample bone and gristle for a growing puppy to chew on!

It’s a health kick, what can I say? Sliced ginger, hot water, and maple syrup. Still better than well whiskey!

3 girls 1 cover (TenGossip)

Salma Hayek in disguise as a librarian (ASL)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a Salma Hayek impersonator (CandyKirby)

Miley Cyrus sez Asians are goofy (Websters)

Britney’s still a two-fisted drinker (OMG)

Joaq toaqs (CelebWarship)

Grandma Fonda’s got a blog! (CeleBitchy)

How to date a Scientologist (AgentBedhead)

Introducing Neko Case (UKPopSugar)

Phelps thrown overboard (JustJared)

Lindsay Lohan hits the road (EvilBeet)

Madonna has issues (CelebritySmack)

Pet one-upmanship downsizes for the Recession (CelebuWreck)

Mack Rourke (Defamer)

Pity Jessica Alba! (AmyGrindhouse)

Pete to teach! (HolyMoly)

The link to this recipe doesn’t exist, because I haven’t written it out yet, but just make Irish Coffee with maple syrup instead of sugar, and double the amount. While you’re at it, double the amount of whisky, too. It won’t all fit in the mug with the other ingredients, so you’d better put that extra shot in a small glass and maybe just sip it while you mix up the Canuck Coffee. Just a suggestion.

Gezundheit, Pete! (AgentBedhead)

Lily, you can’t smoke and snort at the same time (HolyMoly)

Michael, your career is bong gone (AmyGrindhouse)

Run,  Katie, run! (Websters)

Hey KFed, don’t let your kids run off to join the Circus (ASL)

If you think about it, Madge, that’s incest (Yeeeeah)

Could someone call Christian Bale’s mom to pick him up from the principal’s office? (DListed)

Chrissy, you’re no Terminator (Defamer)

Jen, honey, we’re just not that into bell bottoms (JustJared)

Chelsy, don’t let that one get away (UKPopSugar)

Morrissey, I’d have assumed you’d be at least a 78! (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindz, what comes between you and your Calvins (IBBB)

Gaga, you’re gaga (GabbyBabble)

Dakota Fanning, you go right back into your room and put your pants on (EvilBeet)

Hey, sportsfans, is that what you call a First Down? (CandyKirby)

Denzel, you need to leave some room for my boy Viggo (DailyStab)

It’s not loaded, Jenny (CelebuWreck)

Twitty Milk? The first Social Mediatard of the 21st Century is born (CelebWarship)

Never fire till you can see the whites of their eyes, but of course you can see hers from the Columbian border (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay, they were just trying to be consistent with the labelling of passengers (CeleBitchy)

Sometimes you open a wine only to realize you should have left it unmolested for a couple of more years, minimum. And so it is with the Finca Flichman 2007 Malbec; currently, you could use it to cut the grease on your stove hood, or stain your deck, but I wouldn’t recommend drinking it for 24 months at least, unless raw velociraptor blood is your drink of choice. Which, knowing this blog’s readers, I don’t entirely rule out.

President Obama’s Inauguration Speech: full text (raincoaster)

Juliette Lewis speaks from the heart (AgentBedhead)

Kelly Osbourne busted for beat-down (AmyGrindhouse)

A complete beginner’s guide to Martin Luther King, in standup (BWE)

Blake more Incarcerated than he expected (CelebWarship)

John Cleese nekked (CeleBitchy)

The Paris Hilton Rerun channel (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

What’s up, Doc? (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay Lohan celebrates early (HolyMoly)

Madonna will give you what for (WWTDD)

Joiquin Phoenix’s new pseudeolife (Defamer)

Can a vagina win Miss Congeniality? (EvilBeet)

Nobody messes with Julia Farking Roberts (DListed)

Angelina Jolie/Paris Hilton One of these things is not like the other (CandyKirby)

The City, The Headband, The Recap (IBBB)

Britney’s got a book deal (ImNotObsessed)

The DC Celebrity Roundup (UKPopSugar)

Benjamin Button = Forrest Gump? (SeriouslyOMG)

Katy Perry satin it (Websters)