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Lost and Found!

This is terrifying and sad, readers. It is nothing more nor less than the death of childhood. Turns out Snufalupagus, everyone’s secret favorite Sesame Street character, has finally turned up, in the most tragic way possible.

SNUFFY!!!!

SNUFFY!!!!

I mean, that’s not even a good colour for Aretha!

Classic Hollywood Fails

What DID the classic icons of Hollywood do when they messed up a line?

Pretty much the same as you would have: they swore like troopers.

Double Trouble!

This cougar's dreams have all just come true

This crazy cougar's dreams have all just come true

Meet Larry, who’s lived most everywhere, From Zanzibar to Barclay Square.

But Gary’s only seen the sights a guy can see from Brooklyn Heights

– What a crazy pair!
But they’re cousins, Identical cousins all the way.

One pair of matching bookends, Different as night and day.

Where Larry adores a minuet, The Ballet Russes, and crepe suzette,

Our Gary loves to rock and roll, A hot dog makes him lose control

– What a wild duet!
Still, they’re cousins, Identical cousins and you’ll find,

They laugh alike, they walk alike,

At times they even talk alike

– You can lose your mind, When cousins are two of a kind.

Arsenic and Old Leather and Lace

Lois Aldrin rocks the bedazzled Canadian Tuxedo

Lois Aldrin rocks the bedazzled Canadian Tuxedo

Yay! Look everybody: it’s Ayyyy favorite Lois Aldrin, with her trophy husband, Buzz. It’s always nice to see a familiar face, even if the eyes are getting farther and farther apart.

Toast Lois and her boytoy with a few Leather and Lace shooters. Lois would do a tray of these entirely hands-free, you know she would.

I’d be the filling in a Steve Jobs/Jeff Goldblum sandwich (Lolebrity)

The Lord of the Kingdom of the Undead does not approve of this floozy (Ayyyy)

Roundup of news from Japan (raincoaster)

Matthew McConaughey is turning into a greyhound before our eyes (AgentBedhead)

Joan Jett is better than RedBull (BusyBeeBlogger)

Olivia Wilde thinks she can upgrade from an Italian prince (CelebDirtyLaundry)

She looks like Crispin Glover in an Edith Prickley costume (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay Lohan will stop at nothing (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Charlie Sheen, Celebrity Chef? (DailyStab)

Disney is REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel (EarSucker)

They may be immortal, but they’re still not taking any chances (FitFabCeleb)

Scary clownceleb faces (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Celebrities care! Or at least fake it plausibly! (HaveUHeard)

The latest in celebrity injustices (HollywoodHiccups)

Tony Dunzo (INeedMyFix)

Justin Timberlake has a new plus one (MathewGuiver)

Martha Stewart is a surrogramma (TheSkinny)

 

 

Guess the Celebrity results: Masked Woman edition

Oh, you people! You gave me fifteen whole minutes to gloat about stumping you before you nailed it one after the other!

Presenting our mysterious Oriental beauty of earlier this week:

No peeking!

You can't hide it when you've got it!

Yes, as Gina and several others correctly guessed, this veiled lovely is the loveliest of all: Miss Elizabeth Taylor. To our perceptive winner we hypothetically award the virtual prize of this little Chopard bauble that might possibly, on a good day, be Liz-worthy.

a mere trinket, really

a mere trinket, really

Sexy Sexy Links!

I’m sorry, people, do we really have to go over this after all this time?

Charo cannot be upstaged. It cannot be done. Stop trying.

And now, it’s time for our Sexy Links. Enjoy them with a sexy cocktail like the Big Blue Sexy:

Sextradited! Julian Assange is going to Sweden! (raincoaster)

and how much do they make busking in that lobby anyway? (Ayyyy)

Dinner with Julian could get sexy! (Manolofood)

Steve Martin is a spammer! (raincoastermedia)

Marlon Brando is rollin’ dirty! (Lolebrity)

The King must be hard up (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan can afford a car? (BusyBeeBlogger)

How to Kreate a Kardashian (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Let them eat Paris Hilton’s birthday cake! (CelebritySmack)

Champagne wishes and caviar … nails? (CelebVIPLounge)

Making money this way is still more respectable than doing Glitter (CeleBitchy)

EVERYBODY’s a Material Girl (DailyStab)

Buy some Bieber! (Earsucker)

It’s a living, eh Natalie? (FitFabCeleb)

Kiki Drunkst spent her allowance on eyeliner (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Rosie O’Donnell is gonna have to get a job now! (HaveUHeard)

Also, she was trying to auction off her Plus One (INeedMyFix)

Is there MONEY in being an internet troll? (PoorBritney)

The Donald is just pissed Rihanna is richer than him (PopBytes)

and for this she gets $5million a picture (SeriouslyOMG)

I’d pay good money to have seen this live (TheSkinny)

Guess the Celebrity: who is that masked woman?

You know how it works. Put your guesses in the comments, and with the track record you people have, it should take you about forty-five seconds.

No peeking!

No peeking!

And after it’s taken you no time at all to guess our illustrious guest, you can peruse our gossip links for today.

Angela Lansbury murders her whiskey (lolebrity)

Today in WTF (raincoaster)

Shoe horns and corn links (Ayyyy)

A toast to toast! (Manolofood)

Helen Mirren will kick your ass (AgentBedhead)

Still life with cocktails? WHERE’S MY INVITATION? (BusyBeeBlogger)

Justin Bieber gets waxed! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

The Man with the Golden Reality Show (CelebritySmack)

But was Timberlake naked, too? (CelebVIPLounge)

The Cougar Report (Cougared)

Mazel Tov, Alyssa Milano (DailyStab)

This is why Britney still has more money than you do (Earsucker)

Colin Firth is shameless (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Bieber buzzed (GossipTeen)

Lady Gaga is impervious to weather (HaveUHeard)

Billy Ray Cyrus is kittenwhipped (INeedMyFix)

Britney’s video fallout (PoorBritney)

Faye Dunaway flies coach, gets punk’d (PopBytes)

Kate Beckinsale uses her boobs as a pet carrier? (TheSkinny)

Baby Spice 4.0 on the way (SkinnyChic)

Shoe Horns and Corn Links

Christian Louboutin has a lot to answer for (for which to answer? Whatever) in particular these heinosities for both sexes:

For Gentlemen:

This Louboutin demonstrates what men think of as "spikes"

This Louboutin demonstrates what men think of as "spikes"

And for the Ladies:

To Lady Gaga, these are just fluffy

To Lady Gaga, these are just fluffy

Now, I’m sorry.

No, I’m not.

But these BOTH look like either two people suffering from EPIC plantar warts (isn’t it nice they found each other? I bet the romcom would star Jennifer Aniston and Ben Stiller, and be nearly as painful as the disease) OR they were lovingly hand-crafted in an Italian atelier from the intimate membranes of a Stegosaurus with history’s worst case of genital warts.

Having planted that lovely thought in your head, I’ll now degrade you further with todays corny links.

Britney Spears is corny (Lolebrity)

Just say YES to creamed corn and ketchup with this delicacy (Manolofood)

“Evergreen” is still the top kernel of corn (raincoaster)

Joan Collins’ liquor is a little more rarefied (ayyyy)

Gaga’s brains are totally frittata (AgentBedhead)

Chris CORNell (BusyBeeBlogger)

Duelling cornballs, nobody wins! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Bagel-to-Perogy communications perfected (DippedInCream)

Kingston’s just a niblet off the ol’ cob (CelebritySmack)

What the Adele? Isn’t WalMart too cornepone? (CelebVIPLounge)

Elisabetta Corn-all-ass (CityRag)

Aw, shucks, Canada’s hottest export returns! (DailyStab)

Gaga’s husky voice comes from the Whiskey Yoga Diet (GirlsTalkinSmack)

I always forget which one is Korny (FitFabCeleb)

Bieber creamed! (SeriouslyOMG)

Daniel Radcliffe is all Aw Shucks (CeleBitchy)

She’s a niblet, and shrinking! (TheSkinny)

Nice stalks! (GossipTeen)

Is that a corncob in your pocket, Brad, or??? (HaveUHeard)

Simon Cowell is picking Canada’s best crop of niblets (INeedMyFix)

If Gwyneth Paltrow is a vegan, does that make her a cannibal? (AmyGrindhouse)

Britney got her silks combed (PoorBritney)

Sui, Sui, pig, pig, pig (PopBytes)

Mariah’s ready to pop (EvilBeet)

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