Meet Larry, who’s lived most everywhere, From Zanzibar to Barclay Square.
But Gary’s only seen the sights a guy can see from Brooklyn Heights
— What a crazy pair!
But they’re cousins, Identical cousins all the way.
One pair of matching bookends, Different as night and day.
Where Larry adores a minuet, The Ballet Russes, and crepe suzette,
Our Gary loves to rock and roll, A hot dog makes him lose control
— What a wild duet!
Still, they’re cousins, Identical cousins and you’ll find,
They laugh alike, they walk alike,
At times they even talk alike
— You can lose your mind, When cousins are two of a kind.
Yay! Look everybody: it’s Ayyyy favorite Lois Aldrin, with her trophy husband, Buzz. It’s always nice to see a familiar face, even if the eyes are getting farther and farther apart.
Toast Lois and her boytoy with a few Leather and Lace shooters. Lois would do a tray of these entirely hands-free, you know she would.
Roundup of news from Japan (raincoaster)
Joan Jett is better than RedBull (BusyBeeBlogger)
Olivia Wilde thinks she can upgrade from an Italian prince (CelebDirtyLaundry)
She looks like Crispin Glover in an Edith Prickley costume (CelebritySmack)
Lindsay Lohan will stop at nothing (CelebrityVIPLounge)
Charlie Sheen, Celebrity Chef? (DailyStab)
Scary clownceleb faces (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Celebrities care! Or at least fake it plausibly! (HaveUHeard)
The latest in celebrity injustices (HollywoodHiccups)
Tony Dunzo (INeedMyFix)
Justin Timberlake has a new plus one (MathewGuiver)
Martha Stewart is a surrogramma (TheSkinny)
Oh, you people! You gave me fifteen whole minutes to gloat about stumping you before you nailed it one after the other!
Presenting our mysterious Oriental beauty of earlier this week:
Yes, as Gina and several others correctly guessed, this veiled lovely is the loveliest of all: Miss Elizabeth Taylor. To our perceptive winner we hypothetically award the virtual prize of this little Chopard bauble that might possibly, on a good day, be Liz-worthy.
I’m sorry, people, do we really have to go over this after all this time?
Charo cannot be upstaged. It cannot be done. Stop trying.
And now, it’s time for our Sexy Links. Enjoy them with a sexy cocktail like the Big Blue Sexy:
Sextradited! Julian Assange is going to Sweden! (raincoaster)
Dinner with Julian could get sexy! (Manolofood)
Steve Martin is a spammer! (raincoastermedia)
Marlon Brando is rollin’ dirty! (Lolebrity)
The King must be hard up (AgentBedhead)
Lindsay Lohan can afford a car? (BusyBeeBlogger)
How to Kreate a Kardashian (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Let them eat Paris Hilton’s birthday cake! (CelebritySmack)
Champagne wishes and caviar … nails? (CelebVIPLounge)
EVERYBODY’s a Material Girl (DailyStab)
Buy some Bieber! (Earsucker)
It’s a living, eh Natalie? (FitFabCeleb)
Kiki Drunkst spent her allowance on eyeliner (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Rosie O’Donnell is gonna have to get a job now! (HaveUHeard)
Also, she was trying to auction off her Plus One (INeedMyFix)
Is there MONEY in being an internet troll? (PoorBritney)
and for this she gets $5million a picture (SeriouslyOMG)
I’d pay good money to have seen this live (TheSkinny)
You know how it works. Put your guesses in the comments, and with the track record you people have, it should take you about forty-five seconds.
And after it’s taken you no time at all to guess our illustrious guest, you can peruse our gossip links for today.
Angela Lansbury murders her whiskey (lolebrity)
Today in WTF (raincoaster)
Shoe horns and corn links (Ayyyy)
A toast to toast! (Manolofood)
Helen Mirren will kick your ass (AgentBedhead)
Still life with cocktails? WHERE’S MY INVITATION? (BusyBeeBlogger)
Justin Bieber gets waxed! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
The Man with the Golden Reality Show (CelebritySmack)
But was Timberlake naked, too? (CelebVIPLounge)
The Cougar Report (Cougared)
Mazel Tov, Alyssa Milano (DailyStab)
Colin Firth is shameless (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Bieber buzzed (GossipTeen)
Lady Gaga is impervious to weather (HaveUHeard)
Billy Ray Cyrus is kittenwhipped (INeedMyFix)
Britney’s video fallout (PoorBritney)
Faye Dunaway flies coach, gets punk’d (PopBytes)
Kate Beckinsale uses her boobs as a pet carrier? (TheSkinny)
Baby Spice 4.0 on the way (SkinnyChic)
Christian Louboutin has a lot to answer for (for which to answer? Whatever) in particular these heinosities for both sexes:
And for the Ladies:
Now, I’m sorry.
No, I’m not.
But these BOTH look like either two people suffering from EPIC plantar warts (isn’t it nice they found each other? I bet the romcom would star Jennifer Aniston and Ben Stiller, and be nearly as painful as the disease) OR they were lovingly hand-crafted in an Italian atelier from the intimate membranes of a Stegosaurus with history’s worst case of genital warts.
Having planted that lovely thought in your head, I’ll now degrade you further with todays corny links.
Britney Spears is corny (Lolebrity)
“Evergreen” is still the top kernel of corn (raincoaster)
Gaga’s brains are totally frittata (AgentBedhead)
Chris CORNell (BusyBeeBlogger)
Duelling cornballs, nobody wins! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Bagel-to-Perogy communications perfected (DippedInCream)
Kingston’s just a niblet off the ol’ cob (CelebritySmack)
What the Adele? Isn’t WalMart too cornepone? (CelebVIPLounge)
Elisabetta Corn-all-ass (CityRag)
Aw, shucks, Canada’s hottest export returns! (DailyStab)
Gaga’s husky voice comes from the Whiskey Yoga Diet (GirlsTalkinSmack)
I always forget which one is Korny (FitFabCeleb)
Bieber creamed! (SeriouslyOMG)
Daniel Radcliffe is all Aw Shucks (CeleBitchy)
She’s a niblet, and shrinking! (TheSkinny)
Nice stalks! (GossipTeen)
Is that a corncob in your pocket, Brad, or??? (HaveUHeard)
If Gwyneth Paltrow is a vegan, does that make her a cannibal? (AmyGrindhouse)
Britney got her silks combed (PoorBritney)
Sui, Sui, pig, pig, pig (PopBytes)
Mariah’s ready to pop (EvilBeet)