If only I could figure out how to remove this and delete my Facebook account, then they wouldn’t be able to track me anymore.

Is that one knows how to pick a good quality eyeliner that doesn’t run.

Ever since Sir Sean was awarded his Honorary Doctorate in Manly Man-ness, he’s been unable to shut up. Look at him lecturing a crowd of aspiring graduates on the correct way to eat a good quality steak and wash it down with a pint of ale.

I’m on what I call the Diva Diet: I don’t eat fattening food or drink alcohol unless someone else pays for it. That way, it has no calories! And most particularly, a Sapphire Collins has even fewer, because every fool knows bubbles are calorie-free!

Link Challenge: Booze!

Megan Fox was sotally tober when she said that (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse boozed (AmyGrindhouse)

Brooke Shields defends the Paladin of Pisco, her Saviour of Sake, her Kamikaze Knight (BusyBeeBlogger)

Octomom isn’t drunk, just crazy (CeleBitchy)

Has Meghan McCain gotten into Mom’s pillbox? (NYDN)

Boy George’s sobering good looks (CelebritySmack)

Lady Gaga, straight up (BST)

STOP THE PRESSES VICTORIA BECKHAM IN FLATS (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Emmy Rossum pulled over, apparently just in time (CelebuWreck)

This video is psychoactive (Crunk+Disorderly)

LiLo to sober up? (DailyStab)

Ho, Ho, Ho, somebody got into the leftover eggnog (Gawker)

Is that a mickey in your pocket or are you just Come On, Get Happy to see me? (DListed)

Bennifer 2.0 on the rocks? (EvilBeet)

George Clooney is a tall drink of … where was I? (INO)

A sobering thought for Brooke Hogan (IBBB)

Dear Miss California, have a cocktail and calm down (JustJared)

Confucius sez just because there is vodka in the Green Room, doesn’t mean you have to drink it (PerezHilton)

Tarantino transvestites, tipples (FAB)

Medical emergency: blogger needs cocktail STAT! (Websters)

Is anyone sober on Twitter? (SeriouslyOMG)

Adam Lambert’s fans are drunk on his love (TenGossip)

Shitney Beers is the fiercest hillbilly trannie! (OMG)

Seriously, two Strongbows and I was down for the count. My liver’s gotten soft during the dry spell. As a proud Irish-Canuck, I’m mortified. But, of course, as a proud Canuck, I can always get another liver for free.

Trent Reznor is nervous (AgentBedhead)

Instead of watching television, you could just watch really, really stupid people all the time (AmyGrindhouse)

Lohan banned (BusyBeeBlogger)

Rihanna recovers from apparent temporary brain injury (CeleBitchy)

Bruno is out (CelebritySmack)

Blog commenters have more sex (Gawker)

Which reminds me, have you commented in the caption contest yet? (TeenyManolo)

or the Celebrity Dad Faceoff? (TeenyManolo)

Johnny Depp saves lives? (EvilBeet)

Jamie-Lynn Spears is legal! (DListed)

U2′s latest charity case (CelebuWreck)

Kylie is an unnatural beauty (GabbyBabble)

Getting it too right (GoFugYourself)

Robert Pattinson a dick at Dicks on Dicks (INO)

Ashton Kutcher topless and…and who cares what else? (JustJared)

Announcing the best chest in the world (raincoaster)

Hollywood’s golden couple reunites (SeriouslyOMG)

The Jade Goody retrospective (UKPopSugar)

Why has Jamie Oliver got it in for Bob Geldof? (HolyMoly)

Kristen Stewart talks about some howlers (TenGossip)

Seth Rogen will make the little babies cry (Websters)

It’s a health kick, what can I say? Sliced ginger, hot water, and maple syrup. Still better than well whiskey!

3 girls 1 cover (TenGossip)

Salma Hayek in disguise as a librarian (ASL)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a Salma Hayek impersonator (CandyKirby)

Miley Cyrus sez Asians are goofy (Websters)

Britney’s still a two-fisted drinker (OMG)

Joaq toaqs (CelebWarship)

Grandma Fonda’s got a blog! (CeleBitchy)

How to date a Scientologist (AgentBedhead)

Introducing Neko Case (UKPopSugar)

Phelps thrown overboard (JustJared)

Lindsay Lohan hits the road (EvilBeet)

Madonna has issues (CelebritySmack)

Pet one-upmanship downsizes for the Recession (CelebuWreck)

Mack Rourke (Defamer)

Pity Jessica Alba! (AmyGrindhouse)

Pete to teach! (HolyMoly)

On this historic day, which stars and stripes combo gets your seal of approval – that of the fabulously talented Meryl Streep or the fabulously named (and quite possibly talented too) Cucu Diamante?

Remember what Jessica Rabbit said. “I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way!”

Fergie Ferg, Queen of Etiquette (Websters)

Never look a gift Tyra in the mouth (SeriouslyOMG)

Hayden Panettiere illegal, ejected! (ASL)

Jimmy Carter robbed! (WizbangPop)

Kate Moss’s day into evening look (UKPopSugar)

Ryan Seacrest low-fives (JustJared)

Britney and Justin’s awkward moment (ImNotObsessed)

Whitney Port’s bikini malfunction (IBBB)

A toast to Brad Pitt! (CandyKirby)

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner know Latin! (GabbyBabble)

Lil’ Kim attempts to upstage bereaved family (EvilBeet)

Wedding planning gone wrong (DListed)

Glenn gets too Close (HolyMoly)

Ann Coulter, 47, we salute you (Defamer)

For this, I went to Harvard? (CelebritySmack)

Pete Doherty’s career needs a shot in the arm  (AgentBedhead)

Britney Spears’s four letter lyrics (AmyGrindhouse)