Ayyyy!

Ah, after all these years, what has not already been said about the protean talents of hottie and character actor Colin Farrell? Remember the time LiLo gave him her phone number in the gym? And he asked her how old she was? And she said seventeen? And he handed the card back and said call me in a year? and she did? And the rest is (medical) history?

He didn’t look like this back then:

Yes, it’s Colin “hottest fry cook in the chip wagon” Farrell, the pride of Dublin. Actually, given how drastically Lindsay’s gone downhill in the last year, he’s probably out of her league now, however much he might try to tone down teh sex-ay.

And believe me, he’s trying.

So Colin, what do you think of Bruges? (NSFW language, unless you work as a blogger, in which case at least be sure the people in the cafe can’t hear this)

Sure, blondes have more fun, but does she LOOK like a girl who likes to have fun? (AgentBedhead)

There IS justice in the world (AmyGrindhouse)

Kendra Wilkinson a FAR better actress than anyone suspected (BusyBeeBlogger)

If nomenclature and PR couldn’t keep these guys together, what hope IS there? (CelebritySmack)

Topless hunks in headless story (PopSugar)

Vampires: they’re JUST like us! (Lainey)

Van spawns MINI-Van (DListed)

Buh-BYE, Ty-Ty! (DailyStab)

PETA’s pet peeves (CeleBitchy)

MUST-see tv (Gawker)

Brit is BROWN! (EvilBeet)

Lindsay’s found her CALLING (HolyCandy)

Rapist sues over label; still fine with DOUCHE tho (LitelySalted)

Homeless couple spotted with ADORABLE children (GabbyBabble)

MALFOY in MIAMI! (INO)

Charlie Sheen’s Christmas CARDED (JustJared)

The AVATAR Holiday Special! (Movieline)

Mariah CARRY! (SeriouslyOMG)

Beckham’s BACK! (PopBytes)

Q: If I were to describe myself in two words, it would be “fantastic rack”. Tell me, how should I celebrate this undeniable fact?

A: I offer up two options to pay tribute to your bounteous bosom.   Firstly, you can order a tasteful floral arrangement to be delivered straight to your pushed up boobs, where they will sit quite nicely and draw attention to the area in question. Alternatively, you can construct an equally tasteful shrine for these marvels – it may take a little getting used to at first, but once the worshippers start gathering to pay their respects you will surely find the effort was totally worth it. 

Match the pictures above to these descriptions of Gwyneth Paltrow’s sentiments: 
(a) tight-lipped disapproval of collagen use and big fancy Indian weddings
(b) smug in the knowledge that straight blonde locks reminiscent of spun gold are far superior to curly brunette hair
(c) mild disgust at having to jostle for shoulder space with someone who hasn’t won an Oscar
(d) condescension towards mothers whose children aren’t that interested in fashion

And when you’ve finished with that, see if you can figure out from below who is less than thrilled to be sharing the limelight with a bunch of minor talents.

The safety pins may be have been replaced by sequins, but some things still remain the same.