Ayyyy!

La Toya Jacksanity (SeriouslyOMG)

Nicolette Sheridan exudes fabulousness (Celebslam)

America’s next top freak (IBBB)

Madonna Global Media Domination Tour (JensJuice)

Tom Cruise loses his Packer (AgentBedhead)

Ginger Spice and the Goth Lesbian of Doom (ImNotObsessed)

Britney Spears and Big Sur (DailyStab)

Play the Celebrity Cosmetic Surgery Game! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Daydream Believer in the magic of Davy Jones Karaoke (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse is a commuter’s worst nightmare (CelebritySmack)

Pot/Kettle Pot/Potkettle What I mean to say is Ashlee/Britney (CeleBitchy)

Uma Thurman’s lawyer will butt-rape France (InTouch)

Mariah and Mr Mariah have been inseparable since marrying last week. Uh, thanks for that, PR machine (PopSugar)

Beverly Hills Chihuahua! (DListed)

1. This is how you safely secure your assistant before throwing knives at them 
2. See what happens when you play around with superglue?
3. The nice lady bodyguard is just protecting Justin from his fans
4. They are participating in an earthquake drill
5. Kabbalah demands it

John Mayer commemorates this day with historic haircut (CelebrityDirt)

Christina Aguilera is overcome at the emotional celebration (CandyKirby)

Asbestos is the opiate of the people…the people who go on Scientology cruises (AgentBedhead)

Madonna and Justin Timberlake entertain the masses (DailyStab)

Let them eat brioche, say Angie and Brad (ImNotObsessed)

Brazilian shoemaker poses with accessibly-priced, responsibly-manufactured footwear (DerekHail)

Britney Spears blew $61 million dollars in one year and you earn no interest on your tax refund (CeleBitchy)

Gadfly of the establishment the DC Madam dies under mysterious circumstances (Jezebel)

The Man keeps the People down yet again (DListed)

Comrade Ricky Martin launches human rights hotline (ICYDK)

Performers reenact the effect of Capitalism on the Worker. Also: hawt (CelebSlam)

People Magazine now the official newsletter of Doublethink (Websters)

The Opiate of the People just got the cover of Time (Mollygood)

SATC collective maintains party line (PopSugar)

Rehab a rehab: do I smell a new Vegas-themed commune? (Defamer)

At least someone was on hand to sound the death knell for protest marches: Million DJ March (Gawker)

Control of the means of production means Stella McCartney will keep you in pretty, lucite chains (GabbyBabble)

The overlords stick together even on AI (CelebritySmack)

Gwyneth Paltrow wears what the Manolo tells her to (JustJared)

Renee Zellweger, charter member, Starfuckers Incorporated (DailyStab)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck and My Little Pony: which one of these is slumming? (CandyKirby)

Shia LaBoeuf may or may not have gotten lucky(? if you call it that) (WendyWayrad)

John Cusack refers Paul Leydon to the hand (JeanJacketsBad)

Bloody Hell! Pete Doherty is insane (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

JLo goes all, like, Alpha Mommy on Nicole Richie (IBBB)

Adrien Brody is marrying retired Aunt Selma from Miami Beach? (ImNotObsessed)

Flat busted: Amy Winehouse arrested (People)

Ellen DeGeneris gently gyno-probes Ashlee Simpson (CelebritySmack)

Harrison Ford’s Brazilliant deforestation PSA/man-on-man chest waxing video (Defamer)

Celebrity cosmetic surgery slideshow (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Betty and Veronica: still best frenemies (CounterfeitChic)

Madonna is a natural beauty on “Today.” And what planet? (DListed)

Mariah Carey to turn Empire State Building gay (HollywoodRag)

Heidi Fleiss on her high horse again (WOWReport)

The happy(?) couple: Carmen Electra and Rock Himbo #3 pose for engagement pix (Websters)

Encounters with Seth Green (Mollygood)

Jonas Brothers kill and bury Elvis Costello, Johnny Cash’s musical cred (MTVBuzzworthy)

Clay Aiken thinks people from Omaha are stupid (EvilBeet)

Rachel Zoe is one cougar who never changes her spots (GoFugYourself)

Scientology teaches Katie Holmes to speak in tongues (CeleBitchy)

Scientology’s niece speaks! (AgentBedhead)

Perhaps the single greatest concentration of awesomeness in the entire celebrity gossip blogosphere (TaylorMayde)

What IS Dick Cheney looking at? The possibilities revealed (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Karl Lagerfeld’s coke dealer photographed! (Towleroad)

For your next necrophiliac Goth stag party: the Marilyn Monroe postmortem sex tape (Websters)

Pete Doherty adapting well to the bottom bunk (AgentBedhead)

But his ego needs a separate bed (CelebWarship)

Kate Moss dressed for a white wedding (TheRadReport)

Amy Winehouse with child (DListed)

Mariah’s diet secrets have nothing to do with lipo, coke, or diet Redbull. Honest to blog (HollywoodBackwash)

James Blunt is easily hurt (ICYDK)

The Hoff is hawt! (SeriouslyOMG)

Grandma got run over by Timbaland (DerekHail)

Britney Spears to show Chris Crocker how it’s done (TastefulCelebs)

The $90 million per year Chickenhawk strikes again! (CircusHour)

Did a jealous Woz put the hit on Adnan Ghalib? (CeleBitchy)

Jessica Alba visited by the Titty Fairy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Britney gives ME whiplash, too (CelebritySmack)

JLo lost preggo weight, yo. You may now recommence hating her (JustJared)

Save the cheerleader (from the paparazzi) (GabbyBabble)

Hillary Clinton can’t even get a boilermaker right (DailyStab)

Renee Zellweger and the Curse of Bridget Jones (DailyMail)

I Know My Kid’s a Star lets everyone know your mom is a trainwreck (IBBB)

Recession makes Botox unaffordable? Twice the worry lines! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Silver Fox Smackdown: Miss Manners vs Anna Wintour (Gawker)

SATC spoilers. Uh, SPOILER ALERT! (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse’s home haunted by demons. But moving’s not going to help, dear (Celebitchy)

A demon speaks! (CelebritySmack)

We need a silver bullet for this one (GabbyBabble)

Even Amy’s trash needs bodyguards (Celebslam)

Sir Paul McCartney feels Mariah Carey’s hot breath on the back of his neck (Dlisted)

Madonna, Bono caught in downdraft as Jay-Z passes them (Radar)

If this guy is straight, he’s got the best job in the whole world (TheBastardly)

Robin Williams is dating a blonde less than half his age (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Madonna sleeps with electronic doodads! (Mollygood)

Lindsay checks her stash (Yeeeeah)

Team Sutherland UNITE! (AgentBedhead)

Kiefer’s mystery fashionista (JustJared)

Shakira is a team playa (Defamer)

Dita von Teese has a shameful past as porn actress, Eighties hair wearer (PopOnThePop)

TMZ hits a new low for the gossip industry (Gawker)

Billy Joel rolls with a nearly-indistinguishable posse of daughter and wife (CircusHour)

Yeah, I’d rather die than live knowing I had sex with this guy, too (TheRadReport)

Keanu Reeves still alive, still hot (DailyStab)

Robert Redford still alive, still hot (Websters)

Jimmy Kimmel moves on from Ben Affleck (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Madonna on developing a softer touch:

“I think I’ve been honing and finessing my feminine side. “I’ve always been very comfortable with my masculine side - the confidence, the ballsiness. I’ve learnt to be more pliant, more vulnerable - and to be comfortable with that.”

Now all you need are some of those pastel floral butterfly sleeved things with lace trim to cleverly camouflage the fact that you benchpress more than the Incredible Hulk and you’re home free!

Heath Ledger Joker hype no joke (Defamer)

The Spitzer Scandal explained by a toddler (Gawker)

Scientology gets what it deserves: Pete Doherty (AgentBedhead)

Madonna knows her limits (GabbyBabble)

Jennifer Aniston’s publicist strikes again (DListed)

Lohan to murder a Manson movie (CelebritySmack)

Katie Holmes rolls like Lily Munster (Popsugar)

George Clooney’s girlfriend is a model of propriety at all times. KIDDING! (DailyStab)

Britney Spears no longer full of it (Yeeeeah)

Poison drummer poisonous, rapey (CelebWarship)

The Grande Dames of stage and screen make an appearance (EvilBeet)

One Year Ago Today: FedEx and Britney edition (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Oprah helps a girlfriend out (CircusHour)

Chris Crocker finds a new career as a Big Bird impersonator (Mollygood)

Britney to be saved by Lourdes? (Us)

JLo strangles babies? (Jossip)

Wichita, Kansas is not ready for Bruno (PerezHilton)

When you’re a tv star, there’s always someone around to say the bag was his, officer (TheSmokingGun)

What hath JLo spawned? (Gawker)

Angelina’s big baby figure (Defamer)

Bats are full of protein and great for your hair (TressedOutCelebs)

America’s Next Top Recap (I’mBringingBloggingBack)

Celebrity syntho-schnozzes (Cityrag)

The sliding scale of celebrity integrity (AgentBedhead)

Spitzer’s other hooker (Celebitchy)

One more reason to love Johnny Depp (ImNotObsessed)

Is this Hillary Clinton’s greatest speech ev-ar? (Dlisted)

At LAST! A picture of Nicole Kidman looking bottom-heavy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Beyonce’s little sister launches a hip-hop toy company (BlackCelebrityKids)

But…but…Madonna is not biodegradable! (JustJared)

What Amy Winehouse will look like in a month (CelebrityDirt)

Stick Insect vs the Prince of Darkness (CelebritySmack)

Introducing the Paris Hilton Clodhopper Pony (CircusHour)

Jack Nicholson’s topless photos (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Scariest celebrity faces: a surgeon’s opinion (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Japan goes insane for baseball-playing koala (WithMalice)

Martha Stewarts booze all-stars (Defamer)

Anderson Cooper recovering from cancer surgery (Gawker)

Scandal in the Heath Ledger estate (DailyStab)

Twenty-five most whipped men in the world (Style.com)

The exploitation of Daniel Radcliffe’s bum! Daniel Radcliffe’s Bum! (AgentBedhead)

You can never un-see this, so click at own risk (DListed)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend gave her a ring. And not on the phone (Celebitchy)

Madonna still wearing hers, surprisingly (ImNotObsessed)

Cha-cha not the only thing going down on Dancing with the Stars (CelebritySmack)

When bad makeup happens to good C-Listers (DerekHail)

Colin Farrell celebrates his third Sober St Pat’s (ICYDK)

Jen/Owen/Kate/fake triangle fake drama (popbytes)

Shia LaBeouf is on the lam! (CelebNewsWire)

Things white people like: Dinner Parties! (ThingsWhitePeopleLike)

Jenna Jameson to star in Zombie Strippers? Documentary, perhaps? (CircusHour)

The pulling power of celebrity: someone still wants Carrot Top (Craigslist)

Amy Winehouse really could use that infamous red bra right about now (NSFW!!!) (POTP)

Is this the most disappointingly misleading headline ever? (Cityrag)

Halle Berry covers her baby’s bases. Planning a move to Gaza? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Steve Jobs = Cthulhu (Raincoaster)

Operation Reznorgasm complete! (AgentBedhead)

Mary Ann not into Maryjane (Defamer)

The Bad Boys of Blogging vs Beloved B-Listers (Jezebel)

Happy COMPLETELY INSANE Birthday, Tom Cruise (Gawker)

Fabio is completely secure in his masculinity (Cityrag)

Patrick Swayze is still on the cancer sticks (Popbytes)

Miley Cyrus is, like, a total brainiac, rilly (GabbyBabble)

Kevin Federline is Dirty Thirty (BittenAndBound)

ScarJo is not a cheap date (HotMommaGossip)

Judd Nelson candid…the Eighties are definitely OVER (TMZ)

Welcome to the jungle. Lilo keeps the Eighties alive (which explains why they’re still dead) (Yeeeeah)

Your token Irish beefcake for St.Patrick’s Dale. Pale and slightly fatty (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Nicole Kidman needs to trank up her bodyguards (Celebritysmack)

Helen Mirren is MORE sexy (JustJared)

If Obama were white, if Clinton were black (TheNewRepublic)

Charlize Theron accepts America (ImNotObsessed)

Britney erases Kabbalah  (CelebWarship)

Kate Bosworth has David Bowie eyes (Egotastic)

The Heather Locklear suicide call mess sorted out (Celebitchy)

Madonna is trying too hard (DailyStab)

P Puff Diddy Daddy starts a cab service for the A-list (CelebParasite)

Catherine Zeta-Jones gives quotes she’ll come to regret (PerezHilton)

The Butterscotch Stallion cannot outrun the consequences of his hotness (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse possessed by demons! (AgentBedhead)

The many faces of Tracey Ullman (Popbytes)

A day in the life of batshiat Britney (Celebitchy)

Nicole Kidman is not nocturnal, nor is she possessed of leathery wings? (WWTDD)

She is, however, visibly different from 20th Century Nicole Kidman (TressedOutCelebs)

Kanye’s girfriend decides he’s still too annoying to marry (Bossip)

Charlie Sheen to appear in his underwear? (ICYDK)

Amy Winehouse is Amy Winehouse’s Dad’s fault (HollywoodRag)

James Gandolfini hospitalized (CelebritySmack)

John Mayer is a pillhead (AllieIsWired)

Celebrity sex dolls (Radar)

Top ten fake celebrity blogs (Gawker)

Posh and Becks are leaving us because we just don’t love them enough. Kidding! (Mollygood)

George Clooney in Darfur (Popsugar)

One we could live without (DailyStab)

Has Sheryl Crow gone Scientologist? (PerezHilton)

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden buy a NYC condo (ImNotObsessed)

Iggy Pop knows you want him (GoFugYourself)