Stop! In the name of ... all that is holy

The Fake and Bake is strong with this one.

Let’s all have a glass of Bolli fortified with Stoli and a good hard look at ourselves in the mirror (are we really turning into our mothers?) and a few celebrity gossip links with a Mother’s Day theme.

The great Hillary Clinton cover-up (raincoaster)

Mother’s Day food porn (ManoloFood)

Guess the celebrity and her mom (Ayyyy)

Norman Bates LOVES his mommy (Lolebrity)

Rock on: Mother’s Day ditty from Dwayne Johnson (AgentBedhead)

Sheryl Crow’s building her own Partridge Family (BusyBeeBlogger)

That’s it, Bieber! Go to your room! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Sean Penn, you listen to your mother! YOU COME BACK HERE YOUNG MAN!!! (CelebritySmack)

It’s okay, Kate, don’t be jealous. Mom always liked you best (CelebVIPLounge)

Is this woman the fiercest mom on the planet? (CityRag)

Baby Beckham is already colour-coordinated (DailyStab)

Mommy had better get out of rehab soon (EarSucker)

Uh, is this some kind of bizarre Hollywood fertility rite? (FitFabCeleb)

Celebs and their moms on Mother’s Day (HaveUHeard)

Sparklepants and the world’s most famous unwed mother pose (HollywoodHiccups)

Mom Julia Roberts wants to save millions of moms’s lives (INeedMyFix)

Xtina shows off her babyfeed silos (MathewGuiver)

Teen mom Jamie Lynn is scaring me (PoorBritney)

Saluting Sophia Loren, about 40 years late (PopBytes)

Happy mother’s day from Roseanne (SeriouslyOMG)

In certain circles George Clooney’s birthday was also a holiday (SwoonWorthy)

World’s most famous barren womb indulges in Salvation Armani (TheSkinny)

The torch is passed: Madonna’s girl-child releases a single (TheSkinnyChic)

Stephen and Stephen

I’m in quite a mood lately, so getting through the gossip links today is gonna take a double.

If this doesn’t fix the situation in Japan, nothing will (raincoaster)

Hello. My name is Harry Potter. Prepare to die. (Lolebrity)

Saturday Caption Contest: Elizabeth Taylor Edition (Ayyyy)

Rachel Ray’s hideous secret (ManoloFood)

Whoopi Goldberg is out to destroy your sanity (AgentBedhead)

Happy Birthday, AntiChrist! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Kim Kardashian will DESTROY you, Nightlife! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Madonna will KILL MALAWI BABIES! (CeleBitchy)

This unspeakable monstrosity is a harbinger of APOCALYPSE! (DListed)

The AntiChrist is ready for his closeup! (DailyStab)

One lone hero against the Great Satan (FitFabCeleb)

because domestic abuse is great for ratings (EvilBeet)

The Four Hipsters of the Apocalypse? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

The Whoar! of Babylon (HaveUHeard)

RIP DJ Megatron (HollywoodHiccups)

Proud Parents of the End Times (INeedMyFix)

Remember how awesome people used to be? Yeah, well now they’re not. (PopBytes)

Kate Moss looks bad. Hell froze over after all (TheSkinny)

Apparently, time is now flowing backwards (TheSkinnyChic)

Here are the troubadours of Apocalypse (SeriouslyOMG)

Yes, that's a vagina sweater

Thanks to our pal DemiCouture, we were made aware of this … remarkable … sweater from Topshop. Perchance is it Brazilian?

Definitely your go-to choice if you’re either “professionally companionable” or dating a guy who drives a Hummer.

Saint Bill of Murray (Lolebrity)

Michael Douglas photobomb! (raincoaster)

Julian Assange is the greatest photoshop opportunity of our time (Ayyyy)

Cheese it! That’s too expensive! (Manolofood)

Katie Holmes and the World’s Ugliest Pants (AgentBedhead)

But did he put it on her FINGER? (AmyGrindhouse)

Are We There Yet contest (BusyBeeBlogger)

Jennifer Aniston pulls a Bridget Jones (CeleBitchy)

Palin putting it around? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

I see dumb people. They don’t know they’re dumb (CelebritySmack)

Annalynne McCord gives a puppy a helping hand (CityRag)

This choice of Catwoman is nuts! (DailyStab)

You can get arrested for just acting weird? (FitFabCeleb)

Xtina is X-ed out in someone else’s bed (GirlsTalkinSmack)

P!nk is F!!!ing Perfect (HaveUHeard)

Rachel Zoe is unapologetically elasticized (INeedMyFix)

Spears for Sears? (PoorBritney)

Prince + Madonna = Tru Luv 4 eva (PopBytes)

David Spade is OLD: FACT of life (SeriouslyOMG)

Dita had the best Halloween costume of all this year: she went as a normal person!

Every year for Halloween I dress up as a normal girl. So this year, I wore jeans and little fleece-trimmed Ugg boot-type things and a t-shirt and a blonde wig and a tan….I went to a big party here in L.A. I went completely unrecognized, which was awesome. Not one person knew it was me. I was with my friend who’s a famous TV star and everyone was saying, ‘Can I take a picture of you?’ to him and no one asked me for a picture which was really great.

Eight Kilometers, the Justin Bieber Story (raincoaster)
John Cusack films a prequel (Lolebrity)
Paula Deen’s stoner burger (ManoloFood)
Saturday Catherinettes Caption Contest (Ayyyy)
Blade is his backup (AgentBackup)
Britney eats babies? (BusyBeeBlogger)
John Mayer’s latest victim (CeleBitchy)
The poor man’s Joaquin Phoenix hates Aniston too (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Unemployed senior gets a paying job! (CityRag)
Ginnifer Goodwin makes a slip-up (CojoStyle)
Gwyneth Paltrow is Gleeful (DailyStab)
Never Forget! (minor rock singers) (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Rihanna and Colin Farrell are so hot they crashed my Flash player (HaveUHeard)
The Eighties bite back! (INeedMyFix)
Isn’t 14 a bit young for support hose? (JustJared)
BritKink (PoorBritney)
Taylor Momsen Shakes and Bakes (SeriouslyOMG)
Emma Watson is an animal! (ASL)

Jake Gyllenhaal. I was going to write a more elaborate caption, but I got distracted

Yes, yes, we’ve featured Jakey-poo time without number, but I defy you to watch this video and not give it up for him (although perhaps Anne Hathaway sort of steals it). Jake Gyllenhaal, talking about his favorite romantic love song.

Adolf Hitler, found at last? (raincoaster)

Who’s Sari now, Elizabeth Hurley? (Ayyyy)

Daniel Radcliffe is naked without it (Lolebrity)

Food porn, Yorkshire style (Manolofood)

I need this like I need another hole in the head (ManoloJewelry)

The Big O (GreenManolo)

Knit one, parle two! (CraftyManolo)

No lip from you! (ManoloBeauty)

Madonna has cooties! (AgentBedhead)

Enter the Soundgarden! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Katy Perry’s secret not so secret anymore (CelebDirtyLaundry)

The Dream Team: Cojo and Paula Abdul (CojoStyle)

Pastel on board! (DailyStab)

Get into Grace Kelly’s skirt! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Yes, Carrie Underwood, this makes your ass look fat (HaveUHeard)

Sexiest Men Alive, or: Your Christmas Shopping List (INeedMyFix)

Harry Potter wears Canadian makeup (FabSugar)

“Basher” Bassey demonstrates how a real Dame handles uppity paparazzi. Perhaps she’d had a few Street Fighter Cocktails beforehand.

MJ fans stopped, got enough (raincoaster)
Saturday Caption Contest: Johnny Depp 2.0 (Ayyyy)
Under New Management (ManoloFood)
The latest OH GOD IT CAN’T BE TRUE couple (CelebrityBeehive)
Walken in a winter wonderland (Lolebrity)
Bill and Ted’s not so excellent time machine (AgentBedhead)
Kathy Griffin has hit rock bottom (BusyBeeBlogger)
NOBODY messes with Joan Freaking Collins (CeleBitchy)
World’s worst couple back together (CelebDirtyLaundry)
When your star has faded, isn’t it “Cold boxing?” (CityRag)
Carousel of Couture (CojoStyle)
World welcomes two new Canadians (DailyStab)
Bert comes out (EvilBeet)
Celebrities bare their fangs (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Lady Gaga is a billionaire (HaveUHeard)
That’s 100,000 loonies, bitches! (INeedMyFix)
Mariah and mom come (JustJared)
Lock up your babehs! Madge is on the loose! (PerezHilton)
Britwick -> Lawyer’s office??? (PoorBritney)
Marky Mark vs Bieber Fever (SeriouslyOMG)

That’s right: Charm, Beauty, and Creativity. It’s anyone’s guess which is which.

The Monkees never knew what hit them (raincoaster)
Meryl Streep is the answer, no matter what the question (Lolebrity)
Chris Noth reduced to bumming gum from Paparazzi (AgentBedhead)
Lilo is FREE!!!! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Blog comments by celebrities are not a substitute for competent medical advice (CeleBitchy)
Happy Birthday, Luke! What did your dad get you? (CelebrityBeehive)
My boy is as straight as the day is long, yessir (CelebDirtyLaundry)
James Franco wears Frankenshoon! (CelebritySmack)
Feets of the Weak Week (CityRag)
Good to know, good to know, thanks, Queenie (QueenUK)
This…THING is not like that THING (CojoStyle)
You again…and again… (DailyStab)
RIP Eddie Fisher (GabbyBabble)
Katy Perry can’t bring her assets to Sesame Street (HaveUHeard)
Can ANYONE make Louboutins work with a prison jumpsuit? (INeedMyFix)
Audrina is “excited about her cha-cha” (IBBB)
Brit-Glee (Movieline)
Brittany vs Britney (PoorBritney)
Motorists of Manhattan, you missed your chance! (Radar)
Sesame Street by the Jersey Shore (SeriouslyOMG)

Jesus! Cripes!

Jesus! Cripes! Someone should tell Madonna about Grindr, and then she wouldn’t have to walk the streets in her jammies, looking for a piece of trash to pick up.

And, well, what could I do? This is a couple of cougars-dressed-as-lamb Madonna Wannabes for the launch of Madonna’s new clothing line today at … whatever: some store I can’t get to before it’s sold out of the damn stuff but it’s okay, I STILL HAVE MINE!

If it seems insane to you that young girls ever wanted to dress like that outside of laudanum-enhanced fever dreams, let me remind you:

• back then, clothing was street art. It may sometimes have been bad art, but it was still art.
• today, young girls dress like this.
• also, it was fun. How fun? THIS fun:

I was going to make fun of this woman for dressing like a lesbionic Martian flapper, but then I looked at the fine print and realized HOLY SHIT THAT’S VERUSCHKA and she is entitled to dress any way she likes.

And now, to the technology-themed link roundup.

I’ll have you know that Jackie Chan has never seen that troll farm in his life! (Lolebrity)

Is it time to upgrade to a new Mom? (TeenyManolo)

A scientifically-enhanced Madonna choking a chicken (Shoeblogs)

YouTube needs to take the Cure (Manolobig)

Modern superfoods not so super if you ask me (Manolofood)

Weddings go Back to the Future (ManoloBride)

Everything New is Old again (ManoloHome)

A return to classics at Louis Vuitton (BusyBeeBlogger)

Dakota Fanning travels forward in time (CeleBitchy)

Elton John was on hold for 43 years (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Kim Kardashian, new and improved (DailyStab)

Modern medicine + Twitter = EW! (EvilBeet)

Kick Ass 2.0 (GabbyBabble)

Alien Couture Blazer of the Future (HaveUHeard)

Canadians are fashion-forward (INeedMyFix)

Internet to blogger, internet to blogger… (IBBB)

Boy George has been using that I Hate Megan Fox app (SeriouslyOMG)

Prince shuts down his website, probably issued press release via carrier pigeon (Bossip)

Trent Reznor is the Anti-Prince (AgentBedhead)

The science of Ozzy Osbourne (AllieIsWired)

Lilo’s twitter account needs an upgrade from “Horribly Tacky” (AmyGrindhouse)

America, at this precise moment in time (BestWeekEver)

Reznor 2.0 on the way (BricksAndStones)

Rachel Dratch 2.0 on the way (CelebrityBabyScoop)

The future of Old Dude tv (CelebrityBeehive)

Hate Megan Fox? There’s an app for that (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Don Johnson is a New Math genius! (CelebrityMound)

Mel Gibson vs technology (CelebritySmack)

Re-engineering the Calendar Girl (CelebVIPLounge)

Practical science for Lindsay Lohan (CelebSlam)

What, there are people who still use these? (CityRag)

Some icons are worth preserving (CrazyDays&Nights)

Thanks to modern science, we know what a catsuit made of Skittles looks like (Crunk&Disorderly)

Colin Farrell looks into the future (DListed)

Blogger vs Viacom (FourFour)

War of the Nerds (Gawker)

Alien Couture of the Future (GoFugYourself)

Cameron Diaz encounters Alien Growth Ray (HollywoodBackwash)

Amy Winehouse’s home-made cigarette carrier (HollywoodRag)

Scarjo channels Bardot (HollywoodTuna)

The Dion Spawn has been scanned (ImNotObsessed)

Tori Spelling has the very latest thing in wheels (JanetCharlton)

Ziyi Zhang transforms into sport star! (JustJared)

Fun with photos (of billionaires and their supermodels) (LaineyGossip)

The internet drives some people crazy (MaterialBitch)

If he could turn back time (MovieLine)

Vintage Bieber. No, that is not a typo (PerezHilton)

Test tube babydaddy Ronaldo (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Amy Winehouse returns to the past as she steps into the future (UKPopSugar)

New priestly crime not the same as the old priestly crime (WizbangPop)

Blogger of the moment, in the mo (PopBytes)

Medical science to solve mystery kidnapping (RadarOnline)

Cedric Diggory is a trending topic? (ASL)

It’s like America’s Funniest Home Videos, courtesy of YouTube (SquareEyes)

Download Sheryl Too Thin and Too Tan Crow (TenGossip)

Cameron Diaz uses ancient sexual technique (TheBosh)

Kate Moss’s better living through chemistry (TheSkinny)

All of YouTube vs Xtina (WorldofWonder)

Twitpics of the Rich and Famous (YoungBlackAndFabulous)