Ayyyy!

Are YOU stalking Anderson Cooper? How to tell (Gawker)

This Week in Tabloids (Jezebel)

50 films that changed the way men dress (MensVogue)

7 that, thankfully, did not (Defamer)

Steve-O vs KFed; the throwdown (AgentBedhead)

Sharon Osbourne vs Heather Mills (CelebritySmack)

The Celebrity-Industrial Complex hasn’t finished with John Lennon yet (GabbyBabble)

Who wore it best: Katie or Tom? (PrettyOnTheOutside)

JLo is in labour, yo (Celebwarship)

Paula Abdul debuts robot voice in new video (AllieIsWired)

ScarJo and the 10 lamest tattoos in the world (Yeeeeah)

Does Madonna shave or wax her chest hair? (DoodleWhore)

What DID Perez say? (WOWReport)

Elle Macpherson is a wildcat (Gabsmash)

Elizabeth Hurley is a slave-driver (Celebitchy)

Amy Winehouse’s husband pimps her pictures to support his prison overdoses (HolyMoly)

Hayden Panettiere’s Candies (JustJared)

Ex-con approves of nekkid Lindsay Lohan (DailyStab)

Celebrity Drugs and Alcohol magazine (CircusHour)

Cindy Crawford in Mexico (ImNotObsessed)

Is Nicole Kidman risking her baby? (FitCeleb)

Colin Farrell cleans up nicely (Popsugar)

Jessica Simpson hates fat people (IDLYITW)

McDreamy and McSteamy Valentines cards 4 u! (Defamer)

Twisted celebrity Valentines (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Happy Singles Awareness Day! (Jezebel)

Happy National Impotence Day! (Fleshbot, site NSFW)

Slash’s son is a chip off the old testicle (AgentBedhead)

Valentine’s Day love sayings (Quotes)

Gay modern love stories (Gawker)

Send Lane Garrison a Valentine (CelebritySmack)

What Material is the Material Girl made of? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jennifer LOVE Hewitt is a flower girl (DailyStab)

Jane Fonda talks dirty (Celebrity Cowboy)

Is Katie Holmes carrying dodecatuplets? (ASocialitesLife)

Lindsay Lohan’s low-maintenance, love-ready ‘do (HolyCandy)

Kelly Osborne, ice queen (Dlisted)

The Beautiful People just want to look like… (CityRag)

For the sake of L.O.V.E. I am posting a Rumer Willis link (JustJared)

Jamie-Lynn Spears and her babydaddy still together at month 5 (ImNotObsessed)

Kirstie Alley’s body thetans cost her the Jenny Craig gig (Popbytes)

Mr. T pities the fool who’s gone all metrosexual this Valentine’s Day (HolyMoly)

Nelly Furtado may be sperminated (PerezHilton)

Rolling Stone drives stake into Britney Spears with unholy hackiography (Defamer)

Britney’s only Goth from the waist down (DailyStab)

Pete Doherty seeks new life as Smackbob Nopants (Gawker)

or maybe the Easter Bunny? (AgentBedhead)

Top 10 reasons to miss Anna Nicole Smith (Jezebel)

Lindsay Lohan goes dark (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse will bring the funk, may bring the crack to the Grammies (TMZ)

We traded the UK Snoop Dogg for Amy (HolyMoly)

Eva Mendez more Disco than Goth, in rehab for coke (LARagMag)

Scott Weiland, Velvet Revolver front man, back in treatment (GenosWorld)

ScarJo and PeCru go pansexual for ex-sexagenarian Woody Allen (Gabsmash)

Goths Celebs of the Day: Demi and Ashton wear all-black to his 30th birthday party (HolyCandy)

Kill me now: Cher and Tom Cruise were lovers? (Dlisted)

Top 5 celebrity Goth chicks (Hi-5)

The Last Supper of Trent Reznor (LolNIN)

Another reason to drink as if you need one (WorkoutMommy)

Mystery man in black (ImNotObsessed)

Brittany Snow joins the Trenchcoat Mafia (DerekHail)

Lost Boy still lost, still blood-sucking (PerezHilton)

Dita von Teese as the Girl Next Door (SkunksBlog)

Kat von D will never tattoo another agent as long as she lives! (Mollygood)

Kirsten “Vampire Chronicles” Dunst vanishes (Celebitchy)

Madonna is immortal. Because plastic can’t die (TheMeatScale)

Sorry, no Angelina Jolie or Avril Lavigne stories today. Haven’t you heard? They’re not Goth.

Continuing on the teetering yellow heels of Spiritfingers’ “Who Wore it Better?”

I’m not sayin’ anything…

I’m just sayin’

Mary-Kate is renting out Heath Ledger’s apartment (WOWreport)

Tyra Banks is a mess, not so hot (Gawker)

Heidi Fleiss is a different kind of mess, also not hot (TMZ)

Val Kilmer is the patron Saint of Knight Rider (Defamer)

The Four Horsemen of Scientology (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Eva Mendes escapes from In ‘n Out rehab (EvilBeet)

Jack Klugman not dead, now married. Sorry, ladies! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Rocker Zombie Force UNITE! (Mollygood)

Eighties Zombie on the loose! (HolyCandy)

Aretha Franklin, athlete! (Dlisted)

The Celine Dion workout (GypsyMiller)

Amy Winehouse to enjoy the Grammys from the comfort of her own sofa (USMagazine)

Angelina Jolie on Baghdad, in Baghdad (ImNotObsessed)

Charlize Theron hanging with the hottest pack of trannies in prepdom (DailyStab)

Why is Britney free when Gitmo is full? (CelebritySmack)

Madonna and her Mini-Me (AgentBedhead)

Nicole Kidman pregnant, quitting (Defamer)

Tony Randall’s sex life (Jezebel)

Miley Cyrus underage Twizzling (Gawker)

Princess Buttercup divorces her Prince Humperdink (AgentBedhead)

Xtina shows off the baby-maker (TheMeatScale)

Mr. Blackwell’s Worst-Dressed List (Dlisted)

Your daily Britney roundup (Yeeeeah)

Paris Hilton drunken vagina exclusive (DrunkenStepfather)(NSFW, duh!)

Your new Bond Girl (TheBlemish)

Madonna visits Mumbai (JustJared)

Chris Crocker in a blender (Youtube)

Adriana Lima talks about her sex tape (TheBastardly)

New York’s roots (CelebritySmack)

Halle Berry and babydaddy out and about (DailyStab)

Toga, Toga, Toga! (GoFugYourself)

Karl Lagerfeld on the New Hampshire Primary (HolyCandy)

JLo Hewitt in the most beautiful dress I’ve seen in ages (ImNotObsessed)

George Clooney is quote o’ the day (EvilBeet)

Pitt/Jolie lovematch (Websters)

The QuWIIn! (TeenyManolo)

Michael Jackson: the kids win one (Defamer)

Ashlee and Jessica Simpson are the Typhoid Marys of fail (AgentBedhead)

Jamie-Lynn Spears to star in Nickelodeon special on teen love and pregnancy? She’s got the resume! (ImNotObsessed)

Incarcerated American Idol loser jump on pregnancy bandwagon (PerezHilton)

Yes, Denzel Washington is the perfect man (CeleBitchy)

Lindsay Lohan, chaw shiller (HollywoodRag)

Kanye West doesn’t like black people credit (Bossip)

Britney wants her kids tested for weed (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse as you’ve never seen her before (PlanetHiltron)

Colin Farrell is still scruffy-pretty (DailyStab)

Hugh Jackman is cleanshaven-pretty (JustJared)

When Duffs attack! (DListed)

Stephen Colbert is celebrity of the year! (EvilBeet)

You can take the girl out of the trailer park, y’all, but… (GabbyBabble)

Christina Aguilera isn’t going to “stay loose” (HolyCandy)

Madonna in space? (HolyMoly)

The Spice Girls really put the “die” in “Diet” (TheSkinnyWebsite)

Lily Allen: pregnant, pretty, puffing (TheMeatScale)

Bai Ling says Happy Holidays, offends David Bowie (Websters)

Real Housewives star really arrested (TMZ)

Kate Moss sics the sharks on Pete Doherty (WOWReport)

The Ashlee Simpson fall out (WendyWayrad)

Team Viggo! (Websters)

Liza with a “C” for “collapse” (ASocialitesLife)

Top mansluts of 2007 (Buzznet)

Baby Spice’s baby steps (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

It’s Britmas, bitch! (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Worst-Dressed on the red carpet (PopSugar)

Carson Daly gets punk’d by protesters (PerezHilton)

Madonna and Leonard Cohen; what do they have in common? (Mollygood)

Nicky Hilton is getting engaged (ImNotObsessed)

Adam Sandler’s diaper bag caddy is Rob Schneider (JustJared)

If I was Eminem I’d be depressed, too (HolyMoly)

Tara Reid is a failed plastic surgery Frankenbimbo (CeleBitchy)

Renee Zellweger, food issues, blahblahblah (DailyMail)

Marc Jacobs owns the camel toe (HolyCandy)

The glorious return of American Gladiators! (AgentBedhead)

You want a piece of Marilyn Manson? Check eBay! (CelebritySmack)

The return of Firecrotch: Marcia Cross photos surface from beyond the grave (Defamer)

Geek out! 30 years of Star Wars Christmas cards! (Slashfilm)

Britney Spears in her most challenging role ever: virgin! (AgentBedhead)

Jessica Alba no longer ovulating (HolyCandy)

Olsen Twins not trolls: Olsen Twins elves instead! (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Janice Dickinson has a dating time warp (CelebritySmack)

Victoria Beckham has aquarium-ectomy (BricksAndStones)

Clone a Beatle for $48,000 (GoneHollywood)

Johnny Depp in the role of a lifetime! (DailyStab)

Naomi Campbell in cellphone freakout #eleventy-billion (Gabsmash)

Madonna finds yoga just not relaxing enough. May we suggest an enema? (Mollygood)

Kylie Minogue’s dominatrix gear at the Nobel Peace Prize dinner (Websters)

Ike Turner is dead: party at Tina’s! (PerezHilton)

Zac Efron cranks his Soulja Boy (JustJared)

Vince Vaughn: please don’t drink and dress (TheMeatScale)

Eva Longoria doesn’t do kinky (WOWReport)

Britney’s mystery illness? An allergy to press. Oh, go ahead, pull the other one (EvilBeet)

Top Celebrity Meltdowns of 2007 (ImNotObsessed)

Jennifer Love Hewitt may not have a big butt, but she’s got a big rock (DanasDirt)

Bryan Adams serenades PeeWee Herman with that good, old-fashioned Canadian Christmas Reggae (HolyMoly)

Most Overpaid Celebrities of 2007 (Defamer)

Heather Mills vs Stella McCartney, the smackdown (Yeeeah)

Dina Lohan vs Riley Boytoy (what IS his name again?) (DListed)

Paris Hilton scares rats (AgentBedhead)

Pete Doherty off the wagon, on the smack (Sun)

Prince is the Prince of Digital Darkness (CelebritySmack)

Everybody loves Jennifer Garner (DailyStab)

Hilary Duff, private dancer (GabbyBabble)

KFed does the Big O (StupidCelebrities)

Beyonce’s granny girdle (TheMeatScale)

Jessica Simpson: not the steadiest tugboat on the seas (MollyGood)

Sarah Michelle Gellar, stick insect (TheSkinnyWebsite)

Rihanna: oh yes, I DI’ID! (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

Kim Cattrall sez: I’m only in it for the money (PerezHilton)

Angelina signs an “Adopt me Angelina” tee (JustJared)

Britney, artificially aged (HollywoodBackwash)

Patti Labelle rocks the Laura Ashley (GoFugYourself)

There’s one less Osmond in the world (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Britney Spears beaten by pensioners (HolyCandy)

LeeLee Sobieski’s boobs at literary gala tribute (I’mNotObsessed)

Madonna’s son to visit his birth father again (HolyMoly)

Paris and Nicky “TwigletThighs” Hilton go shopping (I’mNotObsessed)

Brad Pitt just has a wide stance (HolyCandy)

Jessica and Ashlee Simpson and Emmy Rossum lounging chez GQ (DailyStab)

Britney has an entertaining new stalker (CelebritySmack)

Meanwhile, so do gossip blog receptionists (WOWReport)

It’s official: World’s Biggest Gold-Digger (GabbyBabble)

Snub Madonna at your own risk (AgentBedhead)

Julia Roberts, beloved by beyotches (ASocialite’sLife)

Kneel to the disco-tastic glory that is Joan Collins (TheMeatScale)

Pete Doherty is clean, sober, still rather a basketcase (DListed)

Snoop Doggy Dawg is in da menz room! (Mollygood)

Britney kin reed, y’all (INFDaily)

Even Gwyneth Paltrow’s kitchen is perfect (AllieIsWired)

Mandy Moore LOVES the Raffi (BricksAndStones)

Mazel Tov, Drew Carey (Defamer)

Everybody’s pregnant: Lauryn Hill edition (YouhgBlackAndFabulous)

The Inflatable Prince Harry (PerezHilton)

Manolo says, Madonna is the Perfect Mum!

Madonna has been given the all-clear to formally adopt African tot David by the head of Malawi’s Social Services.

The singer, 49, and husband Guy Ritchie played perfect parents to impress Malawi’s chief social welfare officer Simon Chisale, who spent three days as a guest at their 16-bedroom London home.

Afterwards he said he was won over by their domestic bliss - especially when Madonna appeared from the kitchen wearing an apron fresh from baking cakes “looking like a perfect mum”.

The perfect celebrity mother, just like Donna Reed, or Joan Crawford!

Mr Chisale visited over a 72-hour period with Madonna, Guy, 38, and their children Lourdes, 10, Rocco, seven, and two-year-old David.

He saw Madonna’s music studio and Guy’s study and also a special African “zoo room” which she has built to educate her children about David’s continent.

He described the luxury carpets in their home as “like walking on live sheep”.

Madonna spares no expense, beyotches! Live sheep for the carpet! Live pygmies for the Zoo Room!

And he was delighted to find a a butler waiting for him at the front door. He said: “He saluted and said ‘Mr Chisale, I presume’.

“I found Guy in the sitting room. Madonna was in the kitchen. Guy said, ‘The visitor is here!’ Madonna came through wiping her hands with a towel.

Having just slaughtered several wildebeest for David’s culturally appropriate dinner.