Ayyyy!

One of these things is not like the other

Celine demonstrates the authentic, little-known Quebecois-Canadian Tuxedo technique, here incorrectly applied to an American Tuxedo. Vote below:

And now, let’s have a dashing Tuxedo Cocktail and a few stiff gossip links:

Paul Rudd, birthday boy (raincoaster)

Lindsay Lohan’s staple food (ManoloFood)

Carrie Fisher captures your captions! (Ayyyy)

Angelina not so Jolie (Lolebrity)

Beastie Boys have got to fight! for the right! to remake material from 20 years ago (AgentBedhead)

John Legend is my imaginary boyfriend even if he does love Adele and golf (BusyBeeBlogger)

Kate and William are bringing my invite in person (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Nicki Minaj is trying to muscle in on Carrie’s caption game (CelebritySmack)

Mandy Moore, the extreme closeup is NOT your friend (CelebVIPLounge)

Oregon: Greatest state or GREATEST STATE? (CityRag)

Keanu Reeves has big plans for your sex life (DailyStab)

Hugh Hefner takes a load off my mind (EarSucker)

Nicky Hilton appears to be chilly (FitFabCeleb)

Solange Knowles in: Who Invited HER? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Pia J’adore (HaveUHeard)

Helen’s Magical Bosom (HollywoodHiccups)

Katherine Heigl is about to piss off the Knitting Lobby (INeedMyFix)

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at who he gives it to (MathewGuiver)

Adele vs Britney (PoorBritney)

The Bride of Wildenstein lives! (PopBytes)

Hottest Male Athletes for your aesthetic appreciation (SwoonWorthy)

Kate Moss uses her mouth for something (TheSkinny)

Justin Bieber, keepin’ it teal (TheSkinnyChic)

Both of these pop princesses have had the honour of ringing the New York Stock Exchange opening bell, but which one do you think is more likely to give a much-needed boost to the markets?

Sure, I would have gone in a different direction with the outfits but I’ve loved Mandy Moore ever since she assaulted Jena Malone with a Bible and although the lei and the Hawaiian shirt is just a tad too literal for my tastes, frankly it’s just nice to see Mary Kate trying a little color.

Pete Doherty doesn’t get out of bed for less than $60,000! (Gawker)

While my ukelele gently weeps (Defamer)

The $110 Hannah Montana Makeover (AgentBedhead)

Pink sez: lay off my ex! (CelebritySmack)

Horse bolted, barn door now locked: Jamie-Lynn Spears is grounded (HollywoodBackwash)

Twenty years ago Marc Jacobs stole something (BackseatCuddler)

PETA’s Worst Dressed Celebrities: they forgot one! (Dlisted)

Kelly Rowland sat on Bjork (TheBastardly)

Jessica Alba’s womb is double occupancy (DailyStab)

Tom Brady markets himself in his underwear (EvilBeet)

The natural beauty of Jocelyn Wildenstein (CircusHour)

What is Mandy Moore’s secret? (ImNotObsessed)

Edison Chen disproves guaranteed stardom of Paris Hilton’s career path (JustJared)

Blake “Incarcerated” Fielder-Civil gets a visit from the missus (PerezHilton)

What Britney will look like in 20 years (Mollygood)

Jessica Simpson is box office gold. No, seriously. (Websters)

Madonna’s kid is a perfect 10! (TeenyManolo)

True Confessions: My torrid affair with Buddy Hackett (moonbeammcqueen)

The Great Kate Beckinsale Quiz (Esquire)

What has Barack Obama done for you lately? (BarackObamaIsYourNewBicycle)

Rita Skeeter exclusive: Harry and Hermione hook up! (PerezHilton)

Anna Wintour vs Carine Roitfeld, duelling fashion editrixes (Gawker)

The Key to Happiness (RuPaul)

Dina Lohan knows art when she sees it, bitch! (Defamer)

George Clooney gets all the tail, but none of the luv (AgentBedhead)

Celine Dion is the queen of the world! (fourfour)

Break out the black armbands: Sean Bean married again, dammit! (Celebitchy)

Brangelina’s brood hit the slopes (Popsugar)

Without Mandy Moore and CheezWhiz, you are nothing (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Celebrity mansions! (Cityrag)

Rumer Willis gets tossed back onto the mean streets (Celebslam)

Jessica Alba discovers she’s Latino (ICYDK)

Victoria Gotti rises from the dead, Elvira of the Light (HollywoodRag)

Owen Wilson goes back to work, Jennifer Aniston soon to put another notch in her diaphragm case (AllieIsWired)

Monsters who get chicks (Maxim)

Jennifer Lopez to give birth to Steve Austin twins (DailyStab)

Free the Pink! (CelebritySmack)

Katherine Heigl wearing my grandmother’s sofa (ImNotObsessed)

FitCeleb, the new blog on the block (FitCeleb)

Pete Doherty, bad boy, worse fighter (AgentBedhead)

Katherine Heigl is cute, honest, soon to be unemployed (HolyCandy)

News Flash: American Idol loser is loser! (Defamer)

Jennifer Lopez rocks the baby bump (CelebrityBabyScoop)

So does Ozzy Osbourne (HolyMoly)

Kate Moss converts to carbs? (ImNotObsessed)

Britney’s rent boy (CeleBitchy)

Renee Zellweger is Bee-having (ICYDK)

Heather Mills was a porn star; worse, she was a bad perm aficionado! (Ninjadude)

Ethan Hawke follows in the footsteps of Jude Law, Robin Williams (GabbyBabble)

What did Meg Ryan do to her face? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Angelina and Maddox salute the National Guard (JustJared)

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden launch their children’s charity (PerezHilton)

Will Smith may or may not be harboring body thetans (DListed)

Whitney Houston’s comeback not ready for prime time (Bossip)

The Spice Girls sex up Vangroover (WickedYouth)

Carrie Underwood is back on the market (IDLYITW)

Bryan Adams sports a proud unibrow (TheMeatScale)

Lindsay Lohan, proud pinto (Celebslam)

Mandy Moore, proud floor-farker! (CelebritySmack)

Ashley Tisdale is a deviant no more! (EvilBeet)

What blinding light through yonder window breaks? It is Aretha Franklin! (Jezebel)

Paris and Nicky “TwigletThighs” Hilton go shopping (I’mNotObsessed)

Brad Pitt just has a wide stance (HolyCandy)

Jessica and Ashlee Simpson and Emmy Rossum lounging chez GQ (DailyStab)

Britney has an entertaining new stalker (CelebritySmack)

Meanwhile, so do gossip blog receptionists (WOWReport)

It’s official: World’s Biggest Gold-Digger (GabbyBabble)

Snub Madonna at your own risk (AgentBedhead)

Julia Roberts, beloved by beyotches (ASocialite’sLife)

Kneel to the disco-tastic glory that is Joan Collins (TheMeatScale)

Pete Doherty is clean, sober, still rather a basketcase (DListed)

Snoop Doggy Dawg is in da menz room! (Mollygood)

Britney kin reed, y’all (INFDaily)

Even Gwyneth Paltrow’s kitchen is perfect (AllieIsWired)

Mandy Moore LOVES the Raffi (BricksAndStones)

Mazel Tov, Drew Carey (Defamer)

Everybody’s pregnant: Lauryn Hill edition (YouhgBlackAndFabulous)

The Inflatable Prince Harry (PerezHilton)