Ayyyy!

Perhaps the single greatest concentration of awesomeness in the entire celebrity gossip blogosphere (TaylorMayde)

What IS Dick Cheney looking at? The possibilities revealed (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Karl Lagerfeld’s coke dealer photographed! (Towleroad)

For your next necrophiliac Goth stag party: the Marilyn Monroe postmortem sex tape (Websters)

Pete Doherty adapting well to the bottom bunk (AgentBedhead)

But his ego needs a separate bed (CelebWarship)

Kate Moss dressed for a white wedding (TheRadReport)

Amy Winehouse with child (DListed)

Mariah’s diet secrets have nothing to do with lipo, coke, or diet Redbull. Honest to blog (HollywoodBackwash)

James Blunt is easily hurt (ICYDK)

The Hoff is hawt! (SeriouslyOMG)

Grandma got run over by Timbaland (DerekHail)

Britney Spears to show Chris Crocker how it’s done (TastefulCelebs)

The $90 million per year Chickenhawk strikes again! (CircusHour)

Did a jealous Woz put the hit on Adnan Ghalib? (CeleBitchy)

Jessica Alba visited by the Titty Fairy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Britney gives ME whiplash, too (CelebritySmack)

JLo lost preggo weight, yo. You may now recommence hating her (JustJared)

Save the cheerleader (from the paparazzi) (GabbyBabble)

Hillary Clinton can’t even get a boilermaker right (DailyStab)

Renee Zellweger and the Curse of Bridget Jones (DailyMail)

I Know My Kid’s a Star lets everyone know your mom is a trainwreck (IBBB)

Recession makes Botox unaffordable? Twice the worry lines! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Silver Fox Smackdown: Miss Manners vs Anna Wintour (Gawker)

SATC spoilers. Uh, SPOILER ALERT! (Defamer)

Natalie Portman’s boyfriend Devendra Banhart: hawt or nawt? (Defamer)

Renee Zellweger’s true nature revealed at last! (CelebritySmack)

Renee gets it half-right (Yeeeeah)

Britney cleverly avoids tan lines, personal dignity (Cityrag)

But she DOES put out for charity: $25,000 on her Amex (PopSugar)

MILF vs MILF: Hurley/Paltrow edition (Bastardly)

No, you cannot get in George Clooney’s pants (HuffPo)

The ULTIMATE purse dog (CounterfeitChic)

Nicole Richie is fed up with Paris “Me Too” Hilton (HollywoodBackwash)

Only 40 people in the world want to be Paris’ friend (CeleBitchy)

ScarJo and RyRey have a fight (ICYDK)

Married man caught on film kissing Hillary and NO it’s not Bill! (AgentBedhead)

Pete Doherty has no friends; Kate Moss has no class (HolyMoly)

Mariah Carey says she has low self-esteem, demonstrates unsuspected gift for sidesplitting comedy (DailyStab)

Sandra Bullock is on the run from … wait for it … CANADA! (ImNotObsessed)

Joanie loves orgasms! (DListed)

Vanilla Ice put on ice (JustJared)

Britney Spears is Blanche DuBois in the new Moby musical A Streetcar Named Batshiat (CircusHour)

Alicia Keys is a conspiracy theorist (POTP)

RIP Cedella Booker. Say hi to your son Bob Marley when you get to the other side (CelebrityDirt)

Melanie Griffith’s kid is no Rumer Willis (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Padma Lakshmi models the Ed’s Linens Collection (GoFugYourself)

Hollywood flashback to 1999 (FilmExperience)

Reality tv kills four (Mollygood)

Drew Barrymore heckles for charity (WendyWayrad)

Naomi Campbell’s body fluids are felonious (CelebWarship)

Woody Harrelson is built, bald, and bare (Defamer)

Luciano Pavarotti pulled an Ashlee Simpson (Gawker)

What are the Presidential candidates like in bed? (TheStranger)

William and Harry react to the verdict in the Princess Diana inquest (PerezHilton)

Botox: it’s all about a jarring lack of self-awareness (CircusHour)

Demi Moore’s bloodsucking leeches (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Victoria Beckham attempting takeover of “Baby Spice” role (Mollygood)

Britney’s partner in fashion crime to be Christian Audigier (Styleguide)

The Britney-FedEx breakup starts a trend (ImNotObsessed)

Kate Moss weighs 98 pounds soaking wet: the proof! (ICYDK)

Like shooting fish in a barrel: Rob Lowe blackmailed! (HuffPo)

Kylie Minogue speaks out about breast cancer (CeleBitchy)

Whitney Houston’s boobs and Dionne Warwick’s face at Muhammad Ali’s Fight Night (Bossip)

Tom Ford is Gay James Bond (DListed)

Britney hitches her star to the comeback tour bus (CelebSlam)

Sharon Stone’s basic instinct is to keep her knees together, thankfully (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Hayden Panettiere terrifies a small child (WWTDD)

Jessica Alba wore black to her baby shower (DailyStab)

Ashlee Simpson vs Mariah Carey (Yeeeeah)

Vlad loves Georgie (KnowledgeIsPower)

Tony loves Georgie (raincoaster)

Stop Uwe Boll, save the world! (AgentBedhead)

V for Valtrex attends wedding (CelebritySmack)

The Office is TV with a heart? (Defamer)

Barack in drag! (Gawker)

Liveblogging Battlestar Galactica premiere (io9)

Sonny Bono died for your sins (AgentBedhead)

Perez Hilton is a big, fat truth-teller? (PerezHilton)

Elvis lives! (WebstersIsMyBitch)

YOU don’t know medical marijuana! TOM CRUISE DOES! (Celebitchy)

Snoop Dogg has apparently been sampling the Tom Cruise Purple (Bossip)

Ben Affleck rear-ended! (DailyStab)

Everything Matt Damon knows he learned from his mom (Popsugar)

Dress your children in Uggs and belly shirts (CircusHour)

LOST love re-discovered (FemaleFirst)

Hollywood’s gropiest! (Starpulse)

Royals a-go-go at Mahiki (Lainey)

After all this, they’d BETTER be getting married (ASocialitesLife)

Keanu brings the fierce, Minnie Driver brings the funbags (ImNotObsessed)

Fug-off championship round (GoFugYourself)

Chosen One martyred! (Star)

Mariah Carey may have slightly diva-iss tendencies. Who knew? (DListed)

She may enjoy the occasional traipse down Rodeo Drive to pick up diamond-encrusted accessories for her Jack Russell Terrier, but Mariah Carey reassures us that it’s still all about the music (and the tight mini skirts) rather than the money:

Mariah Carey has hit out at critics who accuse her of making music solely to enjoy the perks of fame - insisting she’s far more focused on releasing good tunes than banking multi-millions. The Hero hitmaker takes offence at suggestions she only makes records to fund her pampered lifestyle and is adamant she is not interested in the fame that comes with working in the music industry.

And Carey, 37, insists she is still as committed to her work now as she was at the beginning of her career.

She says, “I never really felt famous. I don’t do it just because I want to make money or I want to be famous. I need to make music.

“If I didn’t have this, I don’t know where I would be”.

Let’s take a stab at this.  Without her artistic core, odds are she’d probably be (a) still married to Tommy Mottola, having provided a fertile vessel for his spawn, (b) standing on a heavily soiled red carpet in Times Square, and worst of all, (c) forced to wear something that requires the words ”shiny” and “long-crotched” to describe it. 

Bar raised (Defamer)

Hammer dropped (AgentBedhead)

Lohan smashed (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Rick, rolled (Guardian)

Rowling potty? (Celebitchy)

Hunky Jesus (Mike Responts)

Presley poisoned! (GabbyBabble)

Hunk drunk (ASocialitesLife)

Carey doubt? (Bossip)

Amy Outhouse (Yeeeeah)

Nice…Spaniards (ImNotObsessed)

Manilow? NO! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Owen’s pickup (Popsugar)

Malthusian Catastrophe (Websters)

Mutual bonding (IDLYITW)

Alba time (DailyStab)

Go-Go’s gone (CelebritySmack)

Cognitive dissonance (CircusHour)

Infomercials: WTF? (LiquidGeneration)

I lost a bet! (TheBlemish)

Seal (angrily) seeks bukkit (GabbyBabble)

Who wore it best: Nicky Hilton or your grandma’s parlour? (CircusHour)

Oprah’s image in a million little pieces (Defamer)

Boondock Saints resurrected (AgentBedhead)

Survivor Micronesia recap–Help fight Ostenoperosis (RealityTVTalk)

South Park stops blaming Canada, starts blaming Britney instead (CelebritySmack)

Meet Kirstin Davis in person (GoneHollywood)

Liev Schreiber half nekkid! (JustJared)

Johnny Depp, shorn! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Demon Barber of Wilshire Blvd also attacks David Beckham (ASocialiteLife)

Scariest Celebrity Faces (Cityrag)

America’s Next Top Bitchfight (I’mBringingBloggingBack)

Winona Ryder can’t even afford to shoplift from Rodeo Drive anymore! (Celebitchy)

Shia LaBoeuf pleads not guilty to charge of being smokin’ hot (Popsugar)

Hannah Montana is killing babies! (Ecorazzi)

Kate Moss dances on Jim Morrison’s grave (HollywoodRag)

Charlize Theron’s zygotes are ready for action (ImNotObsessed)

The Mariah Carey Purity Quiz (PollsBoutique)

Suicide chez Mel Gibson (DailyStab)

Orlando Bloom is extreme (Fitceleb)

George Clooney’s manhood-enhancing cosmetic surgery (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

George Clooney, straight up (AgentBedhead)

Mary Ann FTW! (Celebritysmack)

Owen Wilson discovers he’s not Jesus (Defamer)

Discovers he may be dating Jennifer Aniston (Star)

Maybe Ginger Spice is Jesus? (Dlisted)

How to annoy Mariah Carey (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jodie Foster just can’t catch a break (Celebitchy)

Madonna is afraid of you (ImNotObsessed)

Lindsay Lohan is a do-it-yourselfer (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Betty White kicks ass (Cityrag)

Iggy Pop will not be stopped (Mollygood)

Eddie Van Halen is back in rehab (PerezHilton)

Bigfoot invades LA (CircusHour)

Jodie Foster and her sons (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Britney Spears hates her life (PopOnThePop)

Julianne Moore spits on Spitzer (JustJared)

Cindy Crawford’s child is beautiful beyond the lot of mortals (Celebslam)

Your latest “Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to marry” rumour (HollywoodRag)

Anonymous vs Gossip Bloggers (Valleywag)

Ten worst nude scenes of all time (Papermag)

Mariah Carey, Kenneth the Page, a Unicorn, and a good deal of lycra (Defamer)

Heath Ledger’s Nick Drake music video (raincoaster)

King Arthur’s been dead a long time: Pete Doherty is UK Hero of the Year (AgentBedhead)

Nicole Richie is Roxie Hart in Chicago! (CelebritySmack)

Hillary Winehouse makeover (PrettyOnTheOutside)

The Beautiful People looking…not so much (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Prince Harry’s undercover operation is terminated (DListed)

Britney Spears to join the British army (TheSpoof)

The Croc Widow vs the Croc Papa (PerezHilton)

Pink’s Sapphic sideshow KO’d her marriage (Celebitchy)

The Boozehound Awards (Pajiba)

The littlest Scientologists have names now (EvilBeet)

Karl Lagerfeld’s vampire kisses have no effect on bloodless troll (CircusHour)

Kate Beckinsale is a cunning linguist (Websters)

Victoria’s Secret is out (TheBlemish)

RUN, OWEN WILSON! RUUUUUUUN! (Yeeeeah)

Brad Pitt’s monchichi haircut (CelebWarship)

Katoucha Niane’s body found in the Seine (GabbyBabble)

Before I answer your question, I must commend you for taking the initiative to seek out clothes despite the stripperish nature of those shoes.  In order to avoid sending out mixed messages whatever’s up top needs to mirror the bottom, so in this case it needs to be sexy, strappy and va-va-voom red.  Lace is great for that feminine and flirty effect but make sure you wear a bra underneath - you don’t want to appear too available!

Why look, Mariah’s back in business and her new album is cleverly titled E=MC2 , a possible shoutout to fellow genius Albert Einstein. What other breakthrough scientific theory can we glean from her the album’s first single, Touch My Body?
(a) the success of a new single is inversely proportional to the amount of photoshop used for its cover art
(b) a black hole is created when a massive star has collapsed into an extremely dense object
(c) the maximum weave a human being can wear is about 80% of body weight before the neck starts to give way
(d) pi is the ratio of the circumference of a wide-brimmed hat to the diameter of the breasts being covered by it

Hordes of photographers turned out in force yesterday to catch Mariah Carey in the act of doing what the rich and famous do when they feel like taking the dog for a walk:

Mariah Carey and her Jack Russell puppy caused a paparazzi frenzy yesterday as they went on an expensive shopping spree in Beverly Hills.

The soul diva and Jack - or Jackson P Muttley, to give him his full title - headed for the exclusive district of Rodeo Drive for jewellery and some new clothes for Jack.

After sipping champagne as she shopped for trinkets in jewellery house Van Cleef & Arpels, Mariah, 38, treated her pooch to a new coat and dog lead from Gucci before showing him off to photographers.

Fortunately for all involved, the store assistants were well acquainted with the lessons taught by Pretty Woman and knew better than to turn away the opportunity to earn several years’ worth of commission in the space of a few hours.