Lois Aldrin rocks the bedazzled Canadian Tuxedo

Yay! Look everybody: it’s Ayyyy favorite Lois Aldrin, with her trophy husband, Buzz. It’s always nice to see a familiar face, even if the eyes are getting farther and farther apart.

Toast Lois and her boytoy with a few Leather and Lace shooters. Lois would do a tray of these entirely hands-free, you know she would.

I’d be the filling in a Steve Jobs/Jeff Goldblum sandwich (Lolebrity)

The Lord of the Kingdom of the Undead does not approve of this floozy (Ayyyy)

Roundup of news from Japan (raincoaster)

Matthew McConaughey is turning into a greyhound before our eyes (AgentBedhead)

Joan Jett is better than RedBull (BusyBeeBlogger)

Olivia Wilde thinks she can upgrade from an Italian prince (CelebDirtyLaundry)

She looks like Crispin Glover in an Edith Prickley costume (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay Lohan will stop at nothing (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Charlie Sheen, Celebrity Chef? (DailyStab)

Disney is REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel (EarSucker)

They may be immortal, but they’re still not taking any chances (FitFabCeleb)

Scary clownceleb faces (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Celebrities care! Or at least fake it plausibly! (HaveUHeard)

The latest in celebrity injustices (HollywoodHiccups)

Tony Dunzo (INeedMyFix)

Justin Timberlake has a new plus one (MathewGuiver)

Martha Stewart is a surrogramma (TheSkinny)

Today we learn a new term from our friends at Celebitchy: Mullet Dress. As shown here on Jessica Alba, it describes a gown that says Party in the front, Tragedy in the back. Doesn’t she just look like a prom-themed novelty stripper caught on a loose nail halfway through “November Rain?” That’s not the look you’re going for, generally speaking. Also, she needs to pee really, really badly.

Hot Tub Hobo! (raincoaster)
Meryl “The Silencer” Streep (Ayyyy)
Director Wars 3-D! (AgentBedhead)
Lindsay Lohan goes to war (AllieIsWired)
Gay war on gay spies is so gay! (TheAwl)
For god’s sake, Kellan, put on some armor! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Debuting the Kim Kardashian line of spiked breastplate (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Michael Bay launches attack on Bosnia (CelebritySmack)
It’s Starlet vs Celebutante in the war of the column inches! (CityRag)
Jessica Alba’s feet taken prisoner (CojoStyle)
Hunk-off! McConaughey vs Phillipe! (HaveUHeard)
Yoko attacks your ears (INeedMyFix)
The War on Drugs is over (PerezHilton)
Blogger vs blogger over Britney! (PoorBritney)

Does this blood make me look fat?

If I’m going to Get The Look, I’m sure as HELL not wearing it sober! This calls for a Naked Martini, otherwise known as three ounces of gin and an olive. In fact, it calls for three or four of them.

Seriously, it looks like The Manson Family Goes to Burning Man.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

Eat, Brains, Love (Lolebrity)
Marilyn Monroe was crafty! (raincoaster)
Less of a teaser and more of a threat, I’d say (AgentBedhead)
Christina Ricci can dial a phone without using her hands (AmyGrindhouse)
This is why they call them Twits (AnythingHollywood)
Matthew McConaughey in see-through top (BusyBeeBlogger)
There are two good reasons ScarJo lost this role (CeleBitchy)
Happy Birthday Sea- DON’T HIT ME!!! DON’T HIT ME!!! (CelebrityFashionWatcher)
This might make me like Justin Bieber (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)
First Christopher Hitchens, now Michael Douglas (CelebritySmack)
Nicole Kidman’s architect is Fisher-Price (CityRag)
Jesus is a Bieber impersonator (CojoStyle)
Up With Juggalos! (DailyStab)
Holy crap, that Mel Gibson doesn’t mess around (GabbyBabble)
The blonde leading the blonde (GoFugYourself)
Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in White Hunter, Black Swan (HaveUHeard)
How long is this woman going to have to dress like this before the pregnancy rumours start, people? (INeedMyFix)
True Blood: Get the look! (Whatevs)
What a hoser, eh? (JustJared)
This blog is unapologetically pro-tux. Dapper formal wear for all! (PerezHilton)
Levi Johnson has a clean Slate (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Now it’s Britney who’s Drrrrrty (PoorBritney)
Celebrity alma maters (UKPopSugar)
The Brady Bunch get summer jobs; this is not a repeat from 1972 (SeriouslyOMG)

Scarlett Johannsson knows the worse the hair, the lower the neckline should be

Oh my. Oh my. At least she’s still got two things going for her.

Cameron Diaz is slick! (Shoeblogs)
Nicole Richie is too sexy for her hat (Lolebrity)
Dot dot dot (TeenyManolo)
Start the day off RIGHT! (ManoloBig)
Going in circles looking for wallpaper? (ManoloHome)
Tux and cover! (ManoloBrides)
Dustin Hoffman did it first, boys (AgentBedhead)
Lindsay Lohan is pulling a Klinger to get out of jail (BusyBeeBlogger)
You’ll pry her heels from her cold, dead hands (CeleBitchy)
Paris Hilton is a natural woman of parts (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Ozzy Osbourne is poison! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
so is raincoaster (raincoaster)
World’s two most famous lesbians together at last! (CojoStyle)
ScarJo has two things going for her (CityRag)
St. Angelina wears nose cone falsies (DailyStab)
Johnny Depp fears nothing, not even Penelope Cruz! (HaveUHeard)
I don’t see Emma Peel (INeedMyFix)
Oliver Stone identifies with Hitler (MovieLine)
The hardest-working B-Listers at Comic Con! (SeriouslyOMG)

As the silver-tongued charmer Robin Williams so memorably put it, pregnant women get a visit from the Titty Fairy; as he did not mention, this can cause some difficulty in the Supportive Undergarmenture Department. Here, new mother Camilla Alves shows a creative solution to the problem of propagating pulchritude: supportive webbing criss-crossing the Ladies like an underwire made of veterinary-strength lead rope. Lifts, Separates, and, in a pinch, can be used as emergency bungee lines.

You know that blooming tea stuff? It looks strangely familiar…

Jennifer Aniston attempts to make up for lost time? (GabbyBabble)

Remember, Remember the 5th of November (GuidoFawkes)

Biggest casting against type since Darryl Hannah played an astrophysicist in Roxanne (AgentBedhead)

Not Gut! Steve Guttenberg is a flasher (CelebritySmack)

The fats of life: Janet Jackson’s diet book cancelled (HolyMoly)

Blaaaaaaaake, Incarcerated…in rehab (DailyStab)

Fun with celebrity holograms! (BestWeekEver)

Hologram-O-rama (Defamer)

RIP Michael Crichton (MomLogic)

Marilyn Manson is single again, girls! (DListed)

Matthew McConaughey is singlehandedly bringing trailer trash back (CeleBitchy)

Paris Hilton would overdress for the opening of an envelope (CelebWarship)

The world is ending, but the afterparty has begun! (IBBB)

Ashlee Simpson is Chuck Barry’s dream girl? (CandyKirby)

Anna Wintour birthday fanfic (GoFugYourself)

Prince Harry, charity hottie (UKPopSugar)

What did Vegas do to deserve this? (Websters)

Ryan Seacrest takes his best shot (SeriouslyOMG)

What a splendid achievement, to have completed the gruelling Malibu triathlon in one and a half hours, and only a few months after the birth of one’s child!  Truly, these bulging muscles are a sight to behold!

Liza with a ZOMG! (Lolebrity)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: David Boreanaz vs Ewan MacGregor (TeenyManolo)

Perez Hilton explained in math (SuperfantasticPlastic)

Kate Moss and Sly Stallone want you to bend over for them (AgentBedhead)

Paul Newman finishes chemo (CelebritySmack)

John Edwards admits cheating while his wife had cancer (EvilBeet)

Clay Aiken has a baby! (WRAL)

LiLo and SamRon out for her birthday (DailyStab)

Suri Cruise is a natural! (CandyKirby)

Brian Atene: riddle wrapped in an enigma and posted on YouTube (YouTube)

Jessica Simpson pulls the old “Baby on Board” on Tony Romo’s family (CeleBitchy)

Bleachonce not bleached, sez Loreal (EOnline)

Top Five Failed Olympic crossovers (Defamer)

First pic of Clay Aiken’s baby (Gawker)

“Dress” for the red carpet not just a vague metaphor (GoFugYourself)

The quotable Tori Spelling (IBBB)

Levi McConaughey pimps out the murse (Mollygood)

Miley Cyrus in All About Eve (Websters)

Your GenX Moment: Mary Tyler Moore Show reunion! (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindsay Lohan throws a lingerie party for her girlfriend (JustJared)