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Who Wore it Better: MJ Edition

Michael Jackson and the last two people indifferent to him

Michael Jackson and the last two people indifferent to him

In the accessory department, this is a close call. MJ wins on the shoes. Pennyloafers always win, and flesh-coloured shoes are some stripper novelty item that should never have entered the mainstream. But in the Purse Wars, I’m giving it to Granny in the Middle, even though I hate squashy bags. That 80′s applique on Michael’s bag is just Criminal.

Carrie Fisher, on Nature vs Nurture

Autobiography: Good anecdote, bad reality

Autobiography: Good anecdote, bad reality

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a quote for the ages:

“When my mother was about 7, my grandmother locked her in the closet. So, after my mom had been in the closet for about an hour, she asked my grandmother for a glass of water. My grandmother, naturally, said ‘Why?’ and my mother said ‘Because I’ve spit all over your dresses and now I’ve run out of spit and I wanna spit all over your shoes.’ These are the people I hail from.”

— Carrie Fisher

She’s also the author of one of the best opening lines in history, “I never should have given my phone number to the guy who pumped my stomach.”

Michael Jackson gave me the BEST present (raincoaster)

Who wore it better: a Gareth Pugh model or Godzilla (Ayyyy)

Frank Sinatra vs some pasty vegan (ManoloFood)

Katy Perry won’t admit she has a problem (Lolebrity)

This part is so radioactive they may have to hire Lindsay Lohan (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse was once more ambitious than you (AmyGrindhouse)

RPattz pub candid! (TheBosh)

Reese Witherspoon ups the ante with her exes (BusyBeeBlogger)

This will not end well: fag vs hag (CeleBitchy)

Nicole Richie is no Lilo, yo! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Times Square is a Snooki-free zone (CelebritySmack)

Xtina has reXamined her approach to FARDS (CityRag)

No Doubt McCartney was thrilled to the core of his being (DailyStab)

Lock up your sperm! It’s time for Dancing with the Professional Uterus (Earsucker)

This has to be the best headline I have seen in WEEKS (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Archie Leach is appalled at this! (HaveUHeard)

Kelly Osbourne is OUT of control (INeedMyFix)

Kate Moss tiptoes her way out of modeling (JustJared)

A Charlie Sheen Christmas (PopBytes)

Coolest Hogwartian casts spell on Disney World (PerezHilton)

Kate Gosselin escapes to Australia to shoot her children (Radar)

Best-dressed heads of state (Styleite)

Shirley, you jest

LONDON, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 26: Dame Shirley Bassey DBE arrives at the Fashion for the Brave event at the Dorchester on October 26, 2010 in London, England. (Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

“Basher” Bassey demonstrates how a real Dame handles uppity paparazzi. Perhaps she’d had a few Street Fighter Cocktails beforehand.

MJ fans stopped, got enough (raincoaster)
Saturday Caption Contest: Johnny Depp 2.0 (Ayyyy)
Under New Management (ManoloFood)
The latest OH GOD IT CAN’T BE TRUE couple (CelebrityBeehive)
Walken in a winter wonderland (Lolebrity)
Bill and Ted’s not so excellent time machine (AgentBedhead)
Kathy Griffin has hit rock bottom (BusyBeeBlogger)
NOBODY messes with Joan Freaking Collins (CeleBitchy)
World’s worst couple back together (CelebDirtyLaundry)
When your star has faded, isn’t it “Cold boxing?” (CityRag)
Carousel of Couture (CojoStyle)
World welcomes two new Canadians (DailyStab)
Bert comes out (EvilBeet)
Celebrities bare their fangs (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Lady Gaga is a billionaire (HaveUHeard)
That’s 100,000 loonies, bitches! (INeedMyFix)
Mariah and mom come (JustJared)
Lock up your babehs! Madge is on the loose! (PerezHilton)
Britwick -> Lawyer’s office??? (PoorBritney)
Marky Mark vs Bieber Fever (SeriouslyOMG)

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Dirty Martini Links

CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 23: Actress Linda Marraccini (Dirty Martini) attends the Palme d'Or Award Closing Ceremony held at the Palais des Festivals during the 63rd Annual Cannes Film Festival on May 23, 2010 in Cannes, France. (Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images)

Sari about that: renowned ecdysiast Dirty Martini models perhaps the only example of a bondage sari in existence.

Here are your Dirty Martini emo links. Why am I so emo today? Read the last post and then mix a pitcher of Black Widows for yourself and me.

Underemployed Jedi single dad starts drinking early (Lolebrity)
Brian Atene is at the Nembutal and self-doubt again (raincoaster)
Brian Atene invented Superman Vodka, he’ll have you know (raincoaster media)
Here are two decorative, talented men as a sort of unicorn chaser (TeenyManolo)
This mystery man is filthy (ManoloMen)
Blohan blew it (AgentBedhead)
More Don Draper! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Paris Hilton says “Marriott? I wish I’d thought of buying it! I love Pocahontas!” (CeleBitchy)
As if the world didn’t have enough stupid things that make you want to die in it (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Hey Gaga, Scotch is fattening! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Well, alcohol IS a preservative (CelebritySmack)
Dita, NEVER get between me and the Cointreau (CojoStyle)
My god, what were they ON when they greenlighted this? (DailyStab)
THIS man is intoxicating! (DListed)
This is the only man perhaps more perfect than Jon Hamm (EvilBeet)
Hallelujah and pass the Jesus Juice! (GabbyBabble)
I thought what happened in Vegas stayed there? Is that too much to ask? (HaveUHeard)
Where was SuperHamm when THIS happened? (INeedMyFix)
What’s wrong with Drink, Bitch, Sulk? (JustJared)
Can even Jodie Foster’s might save Mel? (PerezHilton)
If Pink is a drunk I love her even more (PoorBritney)

and now, your cheer-em-up unicorn chaser featuring OK Go and Puppehs!

Dolly Parton’s Fabulous Fashion Links!

Behold the wonderment of Dolly Parton’s fashions of the 70′s (although with her, it’s as if time stands still, in a honky-tonk at a crossroads in small town in Alabama, about 1974):

via OMGBlog

Let’s face it, Dolly: you and I are the only ones who remember who Chesty Morgan was.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail: I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

Eli Roth explains the VERY odd couple (Lolebrity)
The most Canadian story ever told (raincoaster)
2012 2.0 (AgentBedhead)
Katy Perry angling for a Spanx contract (AmyGrindhouse)
Brad Pitt will never be ugly enough to satisfy some people (CeleBitchy)
Mrs Brady to Dance with Stars! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Jennifer Aniston’s nude year (CityRag)
Will Forte Will Leave (DailyStab)
This is Britney’s fallback (DListed)
Michael Jackson’s legacy endangered! (HaveUHeard)
You used to have to pay $50 to watch this in a booth (INeedMyFix)
Hippo breeding patterns in New Jersey (IBBB)
You’ll pry the crocheted cowboy hat from her cold, dead, manicured hands (PerezHilton)

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Tim Gunn vs the Superheros!

You won’t believe this. Your brain will explode from all the fabulousness on display as Tim Gunn of Project Runway tears apart the worst-loved super hero costumes of all time:

“You’d think an escape artist would want to have peripheral vision…”

“This looks so Broadway! I can just see Ann Miller tapdancing in this,” on Catwoman’s outfit. “I’m a fan of the Michelle Pfeiffer look, not the Halle Berry one. If your look is invoking the word “Halloween” that’s a sign it’s not working for you.”

And part two:

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

Lindsay Lohan’s new low: cannibalism! (Lolebrity)
Celebutweet of the day: Mel Gibson (TrueSlant)
Don’t stop till you’ve got enough (raincoaster)
The magical healing power of shoes! (ShoeBlogs)
Not exactly the Dove of Peace (ManoloBig)
The sweet smell of Success! (ManoloMen)
CelebrityDad Faceoff: Bale vs Day-Lewis (TeenyManolo)
George Carlin was prescient (ManoloFood)
Reincarnating furniture (ManoloHome)
If Donnie Darko had lived, this would have been his wedding cake (ManoloBrides)
Kim Cattrall’s dream comes true (BusyBeeBlogger)
Vampires crushed by super-villain (CeleBitchy)
Switzerland is NO place for a family vacation! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Pro-Am pornstar challenge! (CelebritySmack)
Brad Pitt once again beautiful beyond the lot of mortals (DListed)
The most mind-boggling piece of clothing in the history of the world (FourFour)
The Dream is over for Christina Milian (GabbyBabble)
Angelina defends her celebucub fashionista (HaveUHeard)
Pamela Anderson is going back in time! (EvilBeet)
Cindy Crawford is not mortal! (INeedMyFix)
But Betty White IS a god! (Movieline)
Prince Harry’s ex downgrades to reality tv (UKPopSugar)
How can you be so messed up you get fired from being a rehab patient? (PopBytes)
The King and Queen of America (SeriouslyOMG)
Who got cheated on the Emmy Nominations? (SquareEyes)

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Rare Supernatural Manifestation

Cast members and celebrity fans alike flock to the screening of the Twilight Saga: Eclipse at the Crosby Hotel in NYC, NY on June 28, 2010. Pictured: Kristen Stewart  Fame Pictures, Inc

Yes, Kristen Stewart smiling. I couldn’t believe it either.

Michael Jackson, a saint for our times (TrueSlant)

Michael Jackson still dead: update at 11 (raincoaster)

Chuck Norris, designer (lolebrity)

Atheists don’t get hymns (TheManolo)

Work it out (ManoloHome)

Consolation Prize (ManoloBig)

Swaddling clothes have a LIMIT PEOPLE: Bridal Diaper myth debunked (ManoloBrides)

It’s confession time! (TeenyManolo)

Katy Perry and Russell Brand are off the market? (AllieIsWired)

Sandra is Free! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Lohan 2.0 isn’t waiting for the casting agents (CeleBitchy)

The plastic surgery double standard (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Jennifer Capriati took a shot at suicide (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Amy Locane DUI Death (CelebritySmack)

Pocket celebs (CityRag)

I’m sorry, hon, Elizabeth Hurley comes along once in a lifetime (SeriouslyOMG)

Oprah on top (HaveUHeard)

Prince Harry goes down (INeedMyFix)

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Zombie Michael Jackson Presents: Lifelike Links

Two days before the one-year anniversary of Michael Jacksons death, Madame Tussauds studio artist Morfy Gikas touches up the MJ wax figure on display with the original plaster cast of his hand in New York City, New York on June 23, 2010. Madame Tussauds around the World will pay tribute to Jackson, whose death on June 25 of last year shocked the world. Each attraction is said to create its own tribute exhibit to the King Of Pop and New York has started the process of setting up their tribute.  Fame Pictures, Inc

Still more lifelike than Mickey Rourke.

Psst: if you’re a gossip blogger who’d rather drink than link, drop me a line; I’m offering a 3-5x a week link service.

George Lazenby vs the disabled (TrueSlant)

Gwyneth Paltrow, title queen (Lolebrity)

The true secret of contemporary fashion? (TheManolo)

No honour among food bloggers (ManoloFood)

Wicked Witch of the West Hits The Disco shoes (ManoloBig)

Open new possibilities (ManoloHome)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Will Arnett vs Christian Bale (TeenyManolo)

Don’t sweat it, Bride (ManoloBrides)

Meeting the terrifying Nina Simone (JessicaGotlieb)

Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and me (Jasperante)

Bruce Willis’s boozeshake brings all the rummies to the yard (BusyBeeBlogger)

Short pregnancy for Alicia Keys (CeleBitchy)

Paltrow seeks penpals! (AgentBedhead)

World 25% less Kink-y (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Ew, JLoHew! (CojoStyle)

Boxers or briefs, Orlando Bloom? (PopBytes)

Emma Watson is hardcore! (Gawker)

Jason Bateman does the walk of shame (INeedMyFix)

Dakota Fanning soon to be nude (HaveUHeard)

Mickey Rourke replaced by human! (SeriouslyOMG)

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