I’m not exactly sure how to parse this platform-stiletto-and-cropped-sweats look. Perhaps Mariah’s gym is flooded?

Nuts! Sami Salo’s balls of steel hit the ice, go down (TrueSlant)

Cthulhu sex tape shocker! (raincoaster)

Karl Lagerfeld haiku for u! (Lolebrity)

Whose shoes? (TheManolo)

Nips Akimbo! (ManoloBig)

Out! Out! (ManoloHome)

Stick a fork in it! (ManoloBrides)

Demons begone! But only on weekends! (AgentBedhead)

Gisele inspires thoughts of death! (AmyGrindhouse)

Hayden Christensen back from career death (BusyBeeBlogger)

St Bono is invoked for protection against sanctimony (DippedInCream)

Vampire babies! (CeleBitchy)

The tears of a Golem! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Lisa Marie wants offerings to the dead! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Death runs in the family (CelebritySmack)

Keith Richards is Benjamin Button! (HolyMoly)

Career ambitions slaughtered! (DailyStab)

Sir Ian McKellan not quite dead yet! (DListed)

Necronauts need money, too ya know! (EvilBeet)

A threat from Skeletor! (GabbyBabble)

Is Calvin Klein a soul vampire? (Gawker)

The franchise that CANNOT DIE! (HaveUHeard)

Yetis! (INeedMyFix)

Zombie Katherine Heigl? (JustJared)

Helen Mirren and Doppelganger Mirren! (LitelySalted)

Salute the dead! (MovieLine)

Kiefer is eternal! (UKPopSugar)

The tomb is open but the body is dead! (SeriouslyOMG)

Manolo says, Angelina Jolie, one prescription away from infamy.

P.S. It is not often that one photo gives the person the second semi-decent gag.

Okay, Sven Kramer, my imaginary boyfriend, you may have gotten the gold for the fastest skater and the gold for the purtiest Olympian other than Johnny “Fierce” Weir, but I’m still saying the Russian in the back there wins the platinum medal in the fashion Olympics. Don’t nobody look their best in orange. Not even you:

And seriously; ankle socks?

Lindsay Lohan airs it out (Lolebrity)

Lara vs Leia (AgentBedhead)

Elvis Pattinson immortalized (AmyGrindhouse)

Clive Owen steals some poor girl’s jacket (BusyBeeBlogger)

and she wonders why she doesn’t have any friends (INeedMyFix)

Gilligan’s Island of the Living Dead (CelebritySmack)

Lohan throwdown (AllieIsWired)

Lilo on the down low (HolyMoly)

Flying Tomato peels! (DailyStab)

The family that tases together, stayses together (GabbyBabble)

Betcha can’t fug just one (GoFugYourself)

Someone please give Sarah Palin a real job (Gawker)

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! (EvilBeet)

Giantess free to attack again! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

These tourists are SO much prettier than ours (HaveUHeard)

Fran Drescher Fission! (IBBB)

There’s a thin line… (LitelySalted)

Moon, June, Spoon, Gay PrOn? (Movieline)

We like JLo’s Hue (TenGossip)

Bride of Freakenstein (PopBytes)

Well THIS should get a telethon (DListed)

Remember … to SMILE, dummy (UKPopSugar)

Jane Fonda shouldn’ta blogged it! (CelebCosmeticSurgery)

My, my. That’s quite a treasure chest you’ve got there. Model (no specific gender) and Madonna impersonator Gina Lisa Lohfink shows off a corset good enough to eat. Below, more chocouture from the Lambertz chocolate boutique fashion show.

Although he may be a little childish…

there’s really no question that Hugh Jackman is well-adjusted.

Paris Hilton’s truth in advertising (Lolebrity)

Michael Jackson, still dead (AgentBedhead)

Celine Dion shooting blanks (AmyGrindhouse)

Shakira: wigger, PLEASE! (HolyMoly)

Eat, Pray, Love, Get A Really Bad Bathtub Bleach Job (BusyBeeBlogger)

Emanuel Ungaro calls Lindsay Lohan “Destroyer of souls” (CeleBitchy)

Marlee Matlin tells world to STFU, get a life (HollywoodInsider)

I’m the Gossip Queen of the Universe!!! (CelebritySmack)

Yet more Robert Pattinson pix (TenGossip)

Emma Watson is, like, totally a commie pinko satanist (CelebJihad)

Kathy Griffin and the Fresh Prince: is this what you call the Dream Team? (SeriouslyOMG)

And the Nightmare Team: Brandon Davis and Avril Lavigne (PopBytes)

Smells like…Has-been! (LitelySalted)

Lilo is cutting (AllieIsWired)

Levi gets out of his Levis for Playgirl (TheAwl)

Kate Moss is a furry (UKPopSugar)

Why is NOBODY talking about Wino’s new freckles? (ICYDK)

Find SamRo a new girlfriend (CityRag)

oh wait, someone already found her one (Gawker)

Behold the moose knuckle of Robert Downey Jr (DailyStab)

Kristin Stewart lets a 4-year-old dress her (INO)

Carrie Prejean to put her video experience to good use (GabbyBabble)

The country music a-wars (EvilBeet)

Who’s the wind beneath Rihanna’s buffalo wings? (JustJared)

Francomania! (Movieline)

It’s true what Glinda says: so purty you almost forget he’s a bit of a douchenozzle.

Rob Zombie’s Where the Wild Things Are (AgentBedhead)

Corey Feldman’s back on the market, ladies! (AmyGrindhouse)

James Franco must not be a REAL Italian (BusyBeeBlogger)

Back to the Eurasian Orphan Emporium for Tomkat (CeleBitchy)

World’s worst toupee? (CelebritySmack)

Gordon Ramsay experiences pain, a generation of sous chefs yell, “TELL me about it!” (DailyStab)

Gore Vidal destroys a potentially lucrative career as a childcare professional (Gawker)

Pete Wentz is a marked man (EvilBeet)

Jimmy Kimmel, claws out (GabbyBabble)

Rosielina? J’Odonnell? (INO)

Twihards about to blow their stack if RPattz is a free agent (UKPopSugar)

Hamthrax in Hollywood (Movieline)

Craig Ferguson joins the Navy (SeriouslyOMG)

But IS this, in fact, IT? (ASL)

Elijah Wood’s man of the people move: messenger bag strap: OVER the tie, ON the red carpet. Awwww.

Fashion correspondent wars! (DemiCouture)

Law and Order and Vanity and Fair and Blogs and Sex and Death (AgentBedhead)

Kanye Kant (BusyBeeBlogger)

BatBoy and Ed Anger sign with CAA in Axis of Hollywood Evil Pact (TheHollywoodReporter)

The Return of Old Spice (AmyGrindhouse)

Jessica Simpson is William Lyon Mackenzie King’s dream girl (FatbackMedia)

Mass conversion to Russian Orthodoxy advised (CelebritySmack)

John Mayer reduced to dating editors (Celebitchy)

Leona Lewis, author, gets no respect (DailyStab)

How to get a head in fashion (DListed)

RIP Captain Lou (BWE)

David Duchovny, cougar bait (INO)

Al Pacino is a hustler (GabbyBabble)

Where The Wild Things Are: New York City (HolyMoly)

Blake Lively juggles three jobs: flamenco dancer, hooker, and ostrich (JustJared)

Fattie Fired! Lauren Mired! This is tired! (EvilBeet)

Emails of the Great Directors, part one (Movieline)

The Jackson Family Tragedy remake (Websters)

Dear John…why isn’t Channing Tatum naked? (TenGossip)

The Bitch is Back (SeriouslyOMG)

BOTH sides of this couple are female impersonators (UKPopSugar)

Kim Cattrall begins a new career as a Farrah Fawcett impersonator. What Would Patrick Swayze Do?