Ayyyy!

Thanks to a malfunction at Picapp, I’m not sure exactly who these people are, but given the news about Wayne Newton’s financial troubles (see farther down this post) I can only assume they’re some sort of Wayniac fund-raising team, perhaps busking on the street for pennies and francs to pay off creditors. All that fabulousness doesn’t come cheap!

Bums in Seats: the dollar value of celebrity bottoms (True/Slant)

The United States of Jay-Z (Lolebrity)

The Return of Reznor (AgentBedhead)

Diane Krueger has a past (LitelySalted)

Lady Gaga dares you to cross the line (AmyGrindhouse)

Hold the phone! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Nic Cage needs more than a tax shelter (CelebritySmack)

Dr Who homeless? (HolyMoly)

Betty White won’t do the casting couch (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Hot men: all you can eat! (CeleBitchy)

Nude jogging: doesn’t that hurt? (CrazyDays&Nights)

All About Eve 2.0 Nicole vs Selena (EvilBeet)

Sean Penn is such a charmer (GabbyBabble)

Bumpits hit the red carpet (GoFugYourself)

Demi Moore is immortal (INeedMyFix)

Jennifer Aniston is a total pro (IBBB)

Rihanna has found her perfect man (JustJared)

Jon Stewart gets lucky on Chatroulette (Movieline)

Johnny Depp? Or Keanu Reeves? (AccidentalSexiness)

Rootin’ Tootin’ Wayne Newton needs you, Wayniacs! (PerezHilton)

Green Lantern 3D (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Kate Moss vs Sienna Miller (UKPopSugar)

Charlie Sheen is rejected (RadarOnline)

Mickey Rourke overshare! (SeriouslyOMG)

Who the heck is Nikki Yanofsky? (TenGossip)

Overshare roundup (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

Ava Jackman demonstrates that the ability to upstage one’s costars is genetic.

Katy Perry shows that Santa really IS coming (Lolebrity)

Daniel Radcliffe’s bum career (AgentBedhead)

Tiger is hiding his wood in several different club bags (AmyGrindhouse)

Bridget dumps Bernie, moves on to Bernice (BWE)

Dave Navarro OWNS the celebrity blogosphere (BBB)

Sarah Jessica Parker hiring nannies from sweatshops? (CeleBitchy)

George Michael OWNS celebrity Christmas music (PopBytes)

Mickey Rourke takes another prize (HolyMoly)

Oh noes! JT has a mini-fro! (LitelySalted)

Kingston Rossdale has a fauxhawk (CelebritySmack)

The gayest video of all time? (Crunk+Disorderly)

Marilyn Monroe and Maryjane (DailyStab)

The Hills, the comic book (Gawker)

Goth Skater Cocktail Chic (GoFugYourself)

Whitney Houston LOVES awards (FourFour)

Happy Birthday Britney (GabbyBabble)

John Mayer really cares about our Golden Couple (EvilBeet)

Susan Boyle is unstoppable (DListed)

Mischa Barton, soon to appear on Oprah (INO)

Jessica Simpson, Not Working (Justjared)

Sandra Bullock plays quarterback (Movieline)

Help John Mellencamp quit smoking (SeriouslyOMG)

It seems like an eternity since our last discreet rendezvous, but our server’s back and ready to pick up where we left off! We’re a little bit older, a little bit wiser, maybe even a little bit waxier but that’s not going to stop us from making a right mess of the kitchen and rolling around on peanut shells!

I’ll get healthy if it kills me! Have I said that before? What do you expect, I’m utterly stoned on flu medicine! In any case, that great theory about spinach, that you can put it in anything because it doesn’t have any flavour? Is a myth. My mouth has an aftertaste known only to raw vegan extremists and pedigreed racehorses.

Skittles Vodka: just shoot it (BWE)

Hugh can do it (AgentBedhead)

Miley? Can sue it! (AmyGrindhouse)

He knew it! (AprilWinchell)

Beth Ditto just nudes it (CelebWarship)

Mickey Rourke talks sh*t (CelebritySmack)

Jane Krakowski’s cans can’t (CelebuWreck)

Barrymore on Grant? (CandyKirby)

Britney on Trent? (GabbyBabble)

Jessica splits her pants (CeleBitchy)

Courtney Love, heirophant (GoFugYourself)

All hail Tina Fey (EvilBeet)

A new job for Aubrey O’Day (DailyStab)

Peck or Sidney Poitier? (TeenyManolo)

Celebrate the Harriet Carter way (IBBB)

Heidi Klum’s got tubby, eh? (DListed)

Someone’ll get it from Michael Bay (Defamer)

Gwyneth will get it from Oprah Winfrey (Defamer as well, this was too good to skip)

Announcing James Roday (SeriouslyOMG)

Lily Allen’s overexposed tittay (Websters)

Blogs invaded by Jordan’s Peter Andre (UKPopSugar)

Ivana Trump goes on holiday (HolyMoly)

and this concludes our rhyming-on-flu-meds experiment for this evening.

Searching for something there, Mr Rourke? Perhaps you should keep it right where you can see it, like Julian McMahon does below.