Former child star and current P!nk impersonator Miley Cyrus
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We suggest viewing this with the sound off, for Buster Keaton-esque levels of amusement. As we are a celebrity fashion blog and not a dance crit blog, we will confine our remarks to noting that if people can see your VPL through your onesie
Miley Cyrus Beyond Thunderdome
Something told her it had been a mistake to pair this outfit with the trendy new magnetic nail polish
Liam Hemsworth, Chris Hemsworth, invisible me in the middle
Congratulations are in order to Liam Hemsworth, on his engagement to Miley Cyrus. It’ll be a horrible, short marriage, but as publicity stunts go, this one deserves all the attention it gets.
Cue video of a Kardashian actually getting impregnated in three, two, one…
Surely I’m not the only one who sees this.
Some people will do ANYTHING to get a part, I’m telling you. Playing politics is a big part of Hollywood, I guess.
Obama has Osama’s paperwork (raincoaster)
We need a decision: which of these classic beauties wore it better (Ayyyy)
Karl Lagerfeld brings the chocolate…if not the taste (ManoloFood)
Mission Accomplished 2.0 (Lolebrity)
Can we get Hamlet updated for bodybuilders? Yes, yes we can. (AgentBedhead)
Can Obama protect us from Charlie Sheen, Free Agent? (BusyBeeBlogger)
Can he get us a good, cheap date? Or do we have to stoop to this date-bidding site? (CelebDirtyLaundry)
PARDON RICK SPRINGFIELD!!! (CelebritySmack)
Can Obama provide a DNA sample? We’re trying to figure out who fathered January Jones’ child (CelebVIPLounge)
Bieber safety: an international concern. Should we take it to the UN? (DailyStab)
Declare Beckam’s Birthday a national holiday! (DippedinCream)
SAVE JENNIFER HUDSON! She is headed for oblivion! (EarSucker)
Can Obama get Miley Cyrus to keep it in her pants? (FitFabCeleb)
Ban the ballcap! Celebrities can afford better, surely? (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Can Obama capture the Canadian terrorist Justin Bieber (HaveUHeard)
In the name of all that is holy, STOP THE CELEBRITY NEPOTISM (HollywoodHiccups)
Can Obama save little Jaden Smith from a life of child labour? (INeedMyFix)
Can he get me an invitation to Goldie Hawn’s ranch, too? (MathewGuiver)
Will he appoint Britney Ambassador? (PoorBritney)
Can we lock Lohan up and throw away the key? (PopBytes)
America needs heroes like these! (SwoonWorthy)
Fight hunger! Feed the celebrities! (TheSkinny)
The Royal Wedding entrance like none other. My shameful past as a Prince Andrew fangirl with full-on subscriptions to Majesty AND The Royals comes out as I say the Princess Ann and Camilla lookalikes are really startlingly good, but the emo cynic within me comes out when I note that even the fake Prince Harry has way more fun than the fake Prince William, who has way more fun than either of the real ones.
Now, let’s toast these glorious ersatzii with (what else?) a Buck’s Fizz and some common gossip links.
Tee Many Martoonis (ManoloFood)
Spa No Go? Oh. (raincoaster)
Marilyn Monroe conquers the world! (Ayyyy)
Is this how the Spears family started? (Lolebrity)
Tom Cruise sees red (AgentBedhead)
And it turns out he’s not even related to Viggo! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Evan Rachel Wood lives up to his name (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Vanessa Hudgens in tampon chain fashion tragedy (CelebritySmack)
And then Trump asked for its birth certificate (CelebVIPLounge)
Joey Ramone lives on. On white trash (CityRag)
NPH has double trouble (DailyStab)
How many celebutards does it take to dance on the head of a mushroom? (DippedInCream)
Oh, Aniston, it’s SO mutual (EarSucker)
Mike Tyson is serious about this yoga thing, too (FitFabCeleb)
Elizabeth Hurley will never age. STOP IT ALREADY, BITCH! (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Let me get this straight…If you sleep under Miley Cyrus’ armpits, you will never have nightmares? (HaveUHeard)
JSimp wigs out (HollywoodHiccups)
Shack up with Glee! (INeedMyFix)
Royal Wedding rehearsal shocker! (MathewGuiver)
Nicki Minaj drops the dildo for Britney (PoorBritney)
Fergie drops the “D-List Bomb” on the TSA (PopBytes)
Huh? Seriously? Kirstie Alley was onstage at the same time? (Swoonworthy)
Miley Cyrus appears to have a shin cellulite problem??? (TheSkinny)
You know what to do. Do it in the comments:
I think it’s pretty clear there can be but one cocktail accompaniment to this, and that is a Naked Martini, otherwise known as gin, straight up (note not neat; “straight up” is shaken or stirred over ice to put a little water and oxygen into it, and gets it nice and cold, and now your cocktail trivia lesson for today is at an end).
And now, your gossip links, including the one from which I stole that picture:
And this is what happened to Steve Jobs, Viggo Mortensen and Julian Assange (raincoaster)
Help poor John Galliano find another job! (Ayyyy)
Winedown with Jean-Georges! (ManoloFood)
I am Woman, Hear me roar! (Lolebrity)
He’d better never date Jessica Simpson (AgentBedhead)
“Hustler?” Gee, I knew she was looking for work, but golly! (BusyBeeBlogger)
We should feel sorrier for her because she’s wearing THAT (CelebDirtyLaundry)
The Empress of Lucite just got some more plastic (CelebritySmack)
Lock up your lesbians! Xtina is single! (DailyStab)
America is a Miley-free zone? (EarSucker)
Gee, Catherine Zeta-Jones, haven’t seen much of you lately, comparatively speaking (FitFabCeleb)
PWND! (GirlsTalkinSmack)
We LOST track of Evangeline Lilly (HollywoodHiccups)
Gwyneth Paltrow’s hip bones make the cover of Self (INeedMyFix)
Marilyn Manson official scrapes the bottom of the barrel (MathewGuiver)
Because nobody watches Britney vids for the singing (PoorBritney)
RIP Mr. Tiger Beat (Swoonworthy)
What does “Virgin Marathon” even mean? You hold out till marriage? (TheSkinny)
It was the jacket, wasn’t it? (TheSkinnyChic)
Fred Astaire loved his shoes
Strangely for a man of his era, but not-so-strangely for a trained athlete, Fred strongly maintained that he had no favorite drink, so I suppose when we salute Fred we will have to do it with an elegant dancing slipper full of imaginary Champagne. He may not have known much about alcohol, but he obviously knew from shoes, and for that we honour him.
And then trudge right on to our tawdry, drunken gossip links. *hic*
The secret of Rebecca Black’s success (raincoaster)
Happy Birthday, Brando (ManoloFood)
Show of hands! (Ayyyy)
The Great Game? (Lolebrity)
in the same way diarrhea is explosive (AgentBedhead)
Mae West could tame anything (BusyBeeBlogger)
Celebrity Apprentice roundup (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Elizabeth Hurley is back, bitches! (CelebritySmack)
The Ambiguously Gay Duo IRL (CelebVIPLounge)
Maybe we should drop HIM on Benghazi? (DailyStab)
But you couldn’t pay her to listen (EarSucker)
Billy Ray bought the first one! (FitFabCeleb)
OMG it’s like stretch pants got marked down at Walmart! (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Heidi Klum slimed! (HaveUHeard)
Crackers, Jack. (HollywoodHiccups)
Lindsay Lohan typecast (INeedMyFix)
It’s like if Mad Max Thunderdome had cheerleaders (MathewGuiver)
Just how Fatale is Britney? (PoorBritney)
He could slime me anytime (SwoonWorthy)
OMG fatty fat fatties! (TheSkinny)
