Ayyyy!

Oh, go on! Hit him!

Team Sandy! Sandra Bullock blindsided by Fate? (True/Slant)

Dirtiest leprechaun joke EV-AR (Lolebrity)

Jesse James apologizes (CelebritySmack)

So porn is good for you now? (PornstarBabylon)

Hobbit is handsy (AgentBedhead)

Ke$ha has actual power? (AmyGrindhouse)

Sandra Bullock is outtahere! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Boy George can verify Lady Gaga is wangless (AllieIsWired)

Well, she IS an actress! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Kate Winslet’s marriage RIP (LaughingStork)

Alec Baldwin is in fine form (CeleBitchy)

Winnie Cooper is knocked up (DailyStab)

Get sexy texts from Tiger! (Gawker)

Twilightweight! (DListed)

RIP Fess Parker (EOnline)

Corey blogs Corey (EvilBeet)

Miley Cyrus pulls a Cher (GabbyBabble)

Meanwhile, Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning are still together (HaveUHeard)

Sandra Bullock put a ring on it, and it’s staying (INeedMyFix)

Paging Jerry Springer! (IBBB)

Reese Witherspoon stars as…a blogger??? (JustJared)

Heidi Ho! (LitelySalted)

But she’ll always have Gene Kelly (Movieline)

Robert Pattinson will always have London (UKPopSugar)

Flashforward Back! (SeriouslyOMG)

Kellan Lutz has a trick! (TenGossip)

How can this be anything but WIN, unless you’re RPattz’s parents, that is?

Rachel vs House (Lolebrity)

Australia versus Versace (News)

“Pneumonia” is the new “exhaustion” (INO)

Vampires and the swine flu (JustJared)

Will Sandra Bullock take over the whole world? (Movieline)

Behold the sexiest man alive! (UKPopSugar)

Is this whole month a DON’T? (GraziaFashion)

Behind closed doors with Tom Cruise (PopBytes)

Too much to hope for? Miley Cyrus’ Last Song (SeriouslyOMG)

Ten’s Ten Sexiest Men (TenGossip)

Lindsay Lohan, grab bag lady (LitelySalted)

New Moon underwear wars (AgentBedhead)

Levi without his Levis (DailyStab)

Rachel Maddow <3 Sarah Palin (Gawker)

CourSem sez SamRo somethingorother LiLo (EvilBeet)

Harry Connick Jr has the filthiest look at a Christmas concert (GabbyBabble)

The Shoehan blog (Shoehans)

What Karl hates (CeleBitchy)

Taylor Lautner still hot, not legal (BusyBeeBlogger)

And this is why Canada rules hockey (BWE)

Stevie Wonder’s on Twitter! (CelebritySmack)

Wonder who’s getting married and why she hates her maid of honour that much?

Best of luck with tonight buddy, and as Jessica Alba is probably thinking above, let’s keep your hands where we can see them.

I’ll get healthy if it kills me! Have I said that before? What do you expect, I’m utterly stoned on flu medicine! In any case, that great theory about spinach, that you can put it in anything because it doesn’t have any flavour? Is a myth. My mouth has an aftertaste known only to raw vegan extremists and pedigreed racehorses.

Skittles Vodka: just shoot it (BWE)

Hugh can do it (AgentBedhead)

Miley? Can sue it! (AmyGrindhouse)

He knew it! (AprilWinchell)

Beth Ditto just nudes it (CelebWarship)

Mickey Rourke talks sh*t (CelebritySmack)

Jane Krakowski’s cans can’t (CelebuWreck)

Barrymore on Grant? (CandyKirby)

Britney on Trent? (GabbyBabble)

Jessica splits her pants (CeleBitchy)

Courtney Love, heirophant (GoFugYourself)

All hail Tina Fey (EvilBeet)

A new job for Aubrey O’Day (DailyStab)

Peck or Sidney Poitier? (TeenyManolo)

Celebrate the Harriet Carter way (IBBB)

Heidi Klum’s got tubby, eh? (DListed)

Someone’ll get it from Michael Bay (Defamer)

Gwyneth will get it from Oprah Winfrey (Defamer as well, this was too good to skip)

Announcing James Roday (SeriouslyOMG)

Lily Allen’s overexposed tittay (Websters)

Blogs invaded by Jordan’s Peter Andre (UKPopSugar)

Ivana Trump goes on holiday (HolyMoly)

and this concludes our rhyming-on-flu-meds experiment for this evening.

It’s a health kick, what can I say? Sliced ginger, hot water, and maple syrup. Still better than well whiskey!

3 girls 1 cover (TenGossip)

Salma Hayek in disguise as a librarian (ASL)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a Salma Hayek impersonator (CandyKirby)

Miley Cyrus sez Asians are goofy (Websters)

Britney’s still a two-fisted drinker (OMG)

Joaq toaqs (CelebWarship)

Grandma Fonda’s got a blog! (CeleBitchy)

How to date a Scientologist (AgentBedhead)

Introducing Neko Case (UKPopSugar)

Phelps thrown overboard (JustJared)

Lindsay Lohan hits the road (EvilBeet)

Madonna has issues (CelebritySmack)

Pet one-upmanship downsizes for the Recession (CelebuWreck)

Mack Rourke (Defamer)

Pity Jessica Alba! (AmyGrindhouse)

Pete to teach! (HolyMoly)

Annoyingly wholesome, I know, but I’m supposed to be on a liquid fast in solidarity with the homeless no lie so I’m trying to make this as painless as possible. I’m allowed all the blended-beyond-solidity smoothies I can suck down before the homeless have houses or I pass out or my bowels explode, whichever comes first. Whenever it gets too painful, I console myself with the realization that Redbreast is a liquid too!

Viva la Diva! (HolyMoly)

Pete in Paree (LondonBlog)

Christian Bale, Dancing Queen (raincoaster)

Penny vs Woody (AgentBedhead)

Blond on Blonde? (Websters)

Suri: “Srsly?“ (SeriouslyOMG)

Ink not mink (CelebritySmack)

Duff guff (CeleBitchy)

Miley face (CandyKirby)

Meerkat Messiah (GOTA)

Jailbird Joe (CelebWarship)

Lady of Leisure (IBBB)

RyRey Rejected! (Defamer)

Silly Lily (UKPopSugar)

Not such a great idea to take that short cut over the barbed wire fence, eh Miley?