After that disturbing image, I need a beverage: how about a nice BC Zin, to go with the turkey for Canadian Thanksgiving? Because there’s no amount of alcohol that would make the thing on her head more palatable.

Sarah Jessica Feedbag (Ayyyy)
Robert Pattinson Pantsless (CelebrityBeehive)
Crazy Little Thing Called Rehab (raincoaster)
Kate Winslet’s latest is straight to DVD (Lolebrity)
M. Knight Shamalamadingdong feels your pain (AgentBedhead)
Cougartown: population one more (BusyBeeBlogger)
Daniel Radcliffe likes ‘em bendy (CeleBitchy)
Kim Kardashian airs out her implants (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Carrie Fisher had the best ice connection on the whole Ice Planet (CelebritySmack)
Killer shoes (CityRag)
Someone has a HUGHe crush (CojoStyle)
Times are tough in single land (DailyStab)
Banksy in Springfield (DListed)
Hugh can dance if he wants to (HaveUHeard)
Bill and Ted’s adventure now somewhat mediocre (INeedMyFix)
Juggalo no-no (PerezHilton)
Lady Gaga goes to Jersey (SeriouslyOMG)

Does this blood make me look fat?

If I’m going to Get The Look, I’m sure as HELL not wearing it sober! This calls for a Naked Martini, otherwise known as three ounces of gin and an olive. In fact, it calls for three or four of them.

Seriously, it looks like The Manson Family Goes to Burning Man.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

Eat, Brains, Love (Lolebrity)
Marilyn Monroe was crafty! (raincoaster)
Less of a teaser and more of a threat, I’d say (AgentBedhead)
Christina Ricci can dial a phone without using her hands (AmyGrindhouse)
This is why they call them Twits (AnythingHollywood)
Matthew McConaughey in see-through top (BusyBeeBlogger)
There are two good reasons ScarJo lost this role (CeleBitchy)
Happy Birthday Sea- DON’T HIT ME!!! DON’T HIT ME!!! (CelebrityFashionWatcher)
This might make me like Justin Bieber (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)
First Christopher Hitchens, now Michael Douglas (CelebritySmack)
Nicole Kidman’s architect is Fisher-Price (CityRag)
Jesus is a Bieber impersonator (CojoStyle)
Up With Juggalos! (DailyStab)
Holy crap, that Mel Gibson doesn’t mess around (GabbyBabble)
The blonde leading the blonde (GoFugYourself)
Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in White Hunter, Black Swan (HaveUHeard)
How long is this woman going to have to dress like this before the pregnancy rumours start, people? (INeedMyFix)
True Blood: Get the look! (Whatevs)
What a hoser, eh? (JustJared)
This blog is unapologetically pro-tux. Dapper formal wear for all! (PerezHilton)
Levi Johnson has a clean Slate (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Now it’s Britney who’s Drrrrrty (PoorBritney)
Celebrity alma maters (UKPopSugar)
The Brady Bunch get summer jobs; this is not a repeat from 1972 (SeriouslyOMG)

Not exactly sure why she’s got that expression on her face: after all, the undead can’t see themselves in a mirror!

Courtney Love, Chickenhawk.

Mark Twain sings the Greatest Hits of the 70′s (Lolebrity)

Gangsta! (MaterialBitch)

Oscar Campaign Violations (Movieline)

Courtney Love sics the FBI on Ed Norton (PerezHilton)

Nazis for Jordan! (UKPopSugar)

Suicide a felony? (PopBytes)

Beaver shot (SeriouslyOMG)

St. Angelina bails out (ASL)

Tyler Durden’s Rules (CopyBlogger)

Keith Urban is an icehole (Manolo)

Canucks Amok! (Gawker)

The Crazies come out at Midnight (TenGossip)

Rapper quarantined! (WOWReport)

Crazy young drunk girl vs crazy old meth mom (LitelySalted)

Tiger Woods drained (JustJared)

Suri ditches the ‘rents (IBBB)

Lady Gaga attacks! (INeedMyFix)

Prada axes models (HollywoodBackwash)

This is what DIVORCE is for, people (EvilBeet)

Avril Lavigne crosses the line (DListed)

Kelly Ripa’s biker cred (DailyStab)

The Mischamobile got towed (Celebslam)

Pete Doherty’s babysitter sentenced (AgentBedhead)

The White House Party Crashers claim their first scalp (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Blog hijacked! (CelebritySmack)

Kirstie Alley, frontman (CeleBitchy)

Did someone steal Daniel Boone’s hat? (HolyCandy)

Hugh Jackman gets cut! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Levi Johnson’s court order (AmyGrindhouse)

At last we learn the backstory to the shot herd ’round the world. Oh Snoop, we’ve all been there.

Claire Danes knows how to work a trenchcoat (Lolebrity)

Celebrities! They’re not like us! They can walk in these shoes! (CelebToast)

The best 404 message online (AgentBedhead)

Om Nom Nom WHA???? (AllieIsWired)

Brittany Murphy, Casey Johnson, Basic Health Rules laid to rest (AmyGrindhouse)

Demon in sheep’s clothing (BWE)

Anne Hathaway flips the bird (BricksAndStones)

Alexis for Alexis! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ooh La Little Girl Lingerie? (LaughingStork)

Kate, I think you dropped something (HolyMoly)

Sandra Bullock will cut a bitch (LitelySalted)

Forget Mischa Barton, try Carole Channing! (LaineyGossip)

Kristen Stewart in court for prostitution (TMZ)

Ralph Lauren snubs in public! (CelebrityMound)

Ellen for President? (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Tom Brady’s 2-month-old can run??? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Oooh, ACDC MUST DIE!!!! (CeleBitchy)

Jay-Qui? (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Possibly the most terrifying headline I’ve ever read (CelebritySmack)

Kanye survives horrifying ordeal (CelebSlam)

Bublé‘s bongo bowl (CityRag)

Dennis Quaid’s farmer’s tan (CrazyDaysAndNights)

The Real BabyMamas of Atlanta (Crunk+Disorderly)

Brangelina lives! (DailyStab)

Paris has gone to the dogs (DanasDirt)

Nicknames of the literati (Gawker)

The return of PuppyBowl (DListed)

Betty White is terrifying (EvilBeet)

Small Wonder it was cancelled (FourFour)

Janet Jackson is a Janet Jackson impersonator (GabbyBabble)

Best Dressed/Worst Dressed at the Grammys (GoFugYourself)

Snooki’s makeover (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Qween no longer on Scene (INeedMyFix)

How Hugh Jackman rolls (HaveUHeard)

World’s most expensive benchwarmers (HollywoodBackwash)

Flack pointedly does NOT deny Paris Hilton is dumb (HollywoodRag)

Sniff Beyonce for $50 (HollywoodTuna)

KFat achieves self-awareness (ImNotObsessed)

Leif Garrett busted NOT A FLASHBACK TO 1975 (Janet CharltonsHollywood)

Virgins versus Texting! (JustJared)

PETA vs Avatar (Movieline)

Jessica Biel definitely not Jewish (FitCeleb)

Frances Bean taking singing lessons (PerezHilton)

Stock Anderson Cooper Adorable Story (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Russell Brand shoots, scores (UKPopSugar)

Jamaican Bobsled Team not so cool (WizBangPop)

Orlando Bloom is all wet (PopBytes)

Kelly Clarkson in flamewar (RadarOnline)

Re-Enchanted (SeriouslyOMG)

Tila says the butler didn’t do it (ASocialiteLife)

Conan O’Brien’s Valentine to Britney (SquareEyes)

Saffy, darling, are you slumming in this movie? (TenGossip)

John Mayer needs to take off the Wayfarers (TheBosh)

Mischa Barton wins Best Supporting Hose (TheSkinny)

Bill Gates on Manhunt? (raincoaster)

Mr Bean goes to the Spanish Parliament (Guardian)

Iran. Iran so far away (Gawker)

Guido 2.0 (Lolebrity)

Eli Roth hacked and attacked by 200 Mexicans (Twitter)

Remix Trent Reznor (AgentBedhead)

Ellen Photoshops her way into the AI lineup (AmyGrindhouse)

RPattz and KStew ambushed! (AllieIsWired)

Lilo is robbed! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Rihanna’s outfit slashed! (INeedMyFix)

Pete and Ashlee hack the paps (CelebritySmack)

Redmond O’Neal busted again (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Mariah Carey’s jewels cased (HolyCandy)

OctoDoc takes the rap (CeleBitchy)

Angel stops cougar attack (DListed)

Celebrities caught in action (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Mischa Barton turns hooker (DailyStab)

The LA Coroner is mystified (EvilBeet)

Sean Penn is a stooge (GabbyBabble)

Madonna takes the rap (INO)

Halle Berry hacked! (JustJared)

Gay blades Jim Carrey and Ewan MacGregor come out (Movieline)

JSimp’s hairy sitch (PopSugar)

More deets on the Bear Jew Werewolf Shark attack (TenGossip)

Joan Rivers is a threat to national security (LitelySalted)

Ah, all the paparazzi attention and still the girl hasn’t changed a bit, except that now she no longer has to be carried to the pumpkin after a night of ballin’. Mere minutes after this shot was snapped, she was back to dowdy diurnal Cinderellahood.

Uggh.

Not if you’re still wearing the inpatient onesie.

Aren’t you relieved that steroids, instead of crystal meth, have now become the drug of choice among the fashionable set?

Some celebrities actually sign up for substance abuse treatment, but many others do not give it much thought, much to their detriment.

Sometimes it’s better to remain sitting down, because the alternative is just too visually disturbing to contemplate.