Aren’t you relieved that steroids, instead of crystal meth, have now become the drug of choice among the fashionable set?

Some celebrities actually sign up for substance abuse treatment, but many others do not give it much thought, much to their detriment.

Sometimes it’s better to remain sitting down, because the alternative is just too visually disturbing to contemplate.

Wow, a champagneless Fashion Week can really take a lot out of a 23 year-old starlet. Let’s hope they haven’t started down cutting down on everybody’s favourite party drug too – these people need to subsist on something!

It’s the battle of the grass-skirted glitterati!  One is the original Material Girl, the other is one of many immaterial girls.

My milkshake brings all the links to the blog, and keeps ‘em coming back for more. I think it’s the heroin I put in it.

Speaking of which, remember that Pete Doherty guy? (AgentBedhead)

Jayden James escapes California, only to be incarcerated (CelebWarship)

BritTwit says he’s feeling better, though (TheRealBritney on Twitter)

Our public intellectuals aren’t what they used to be (CeleBitchy)

Rod Stewart, the Pete Doherty of 1973 (CelebritySmack)

Mischa Barton is really overdue for a waxing (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Evan Rachel Wood will have you know she is not desperate (DailyStab)

Lamest “Child Star Gone Bad” story in history (Defamer)

John Travolta, the eternal straight man (WWTDD)

Which Emanuel brother are you? (Wonkette)

Taradise Lost: is celebrity hedonism over? (Gawker)

RIP Gus (DListed)

Not even Kate Moss looks good in that (PopSugar)

It must be Miley Cyrus’ personality, yeah, that’s it! (IBBB)

Katy Perry overshares her monthly cycle (CandyKirby)

Taylor Swift has perfect 70′s hair (ImNotObsessed)

Gisele Bundchen has perfect 80′s everything (JustJared)

as does Cindy Crawford (Websters)

Secret Service code names for the Obama family (Jossip)

Erik Estrada scalped Simon Cowell!!!!! (SeriouslyOMG)

Heather Locklear reminds me of something… (Lolebrity)

Sharon Stone wants her kid to have Botox (CelebWarship)

Spike Lee: Why Tonto Should Be a Brother (CandyKirby)

Playing the straight man to Pete Doherty’s Abbott AND Costello (AgentBedhead)

Bret Michaels’ wig is a blogger, too (CelebritySmack)

Kelly Osbourne owes her sex education to Black Sabbath (DailyStab)

Anne Hathaway does not talk nasty (CeleBitchy)

Where Beyonce’s old wigs go to die (Crunk&Disorderly)

God-hating Bill Maher vs Flat Earther Sherri Shepherd (Defamer)

The girl who was JT LeRoy (Gawker)

Mischa Barton works the “Gilbert Grape” look (GoFugYourself)

Helena Bonham Carter’s steampunk shoes (DListed)

Dave Grohl identifies with his attackers (GabbyBabble)

The Wire, with special guest Samuel Beckett (EvilBeet)

Vivienne Westwood’s Parisian catwalk pix (HollywoodRag)

Naomi Watts just won the birthday present stakes (PopSugar)

The Hills monumental recap (IBBB)

Chace Crawford needs to overcome gayface (Mollygood)

Sarah Michelle Gellar and a dolphin unicorn chaser (Websters)

Poor Mischa Barton, betrayed by satin so slippery it slides right off your chest!  Does this type of accident not indicate the crucial importance of strapping them down tighter than a prisoner with a taste for human flesh?

London Fashion Week brings out a rash of celebrities but only one of us is the massive star, no the radiant sun even, around which all things of infinitely less import revolve. Can you tell which one, dear readers?