I like to have a Martini
I like three, at most
After three I’m under the table
After four, I’m under the host!
Dorothy Parker

Sienna Miller, superhero! (Lolebrity)

Janet Jackson appears to believe she’s one as well (JustJared)

It’s Pink Shirt Day! (TeenyManolo)

Mischa Mouse debuts as designer (CelebuWreck)

This Brit makes an ass of herself (AgentBedhead)

Congratulations to Miss Tara Reid on her engagement (CelebritySmack)

Congratulations to Miss Samantha Ronson on her engagement (HolyMoly)

Petra Nemcova congratulates Kelly Osbourne on her skirt made entirely of disco shirts (DailyStab)

Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt reunited? (GabbyBabble)

Jessica Alba’s BDSM PSA (EvilBeet)

Harriet Carter lingerie day, yay! (IBBB)

Katy Perry, novelty stripper in a toddler costume (Websters)

Ashton Kutcher on the bathroom habits of the billionaires (POTP)

Is it hot in here or is it just me? (AprilWinchell)

Betsey Johnson is SO STOKED for Talk Like A Pirate Day (GoFugYourself)

La WHA? (CrunkAndDisorderly)

Bears invade LA! (CandyKirby)

The secret history of the Obama pig (Defamer)

Anne Hathaway is no longer a receiver of stolen goods (TheSmokingGun)

When you’ve struck out everywhere else… (SeriouslyOMG)

The Brohawk, in its native environment (Radar)

What sort of cruel trick is this, using the dark arts of Photoshop to transplant Mischa Barton’s head on something so foul.   See how it lolls about at an unnatural angle like a Gerry Anderson puppet above some wretch’s Ukrainian peasant clubwear.  This whole travesty is entirely the work of an amateur, don’t you think?

Dear Elisabeth Hasselbeck (WhatWouldJaneAustenDo)

Rachel Ray: whut she say? (Lolebrity)

Pete Doherty attempts to go anonymous on YouTube, fails, buys bad art of exes (AgentBedhead)

Lily Allen seeing pink elephants! (CelebritySmack)

Lily Allen a little green this morning, red in the face (SeriouslyOMG)

Queen Latifah is not taking Jenny Craig’s calls (IBBB)

Prince William in uniform (ASL)

Prince Harry in a dinner jacket (DListed)

Sienna Miller dumps Rhys 2.0 over phone, not over Rhys 1.0 as reported (CeleBitchy)

Guess the celebrity feet (People)

Drew Barrymore gets a tongue piercing and a new piece of arm candy (PopSugar)

Dr Who commits incest! (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Jessica Alba will never drown (Websters)

Angelina will give birth naturally (ImNotObsessed)

Myspace Mischa (DailyStab)

Nick Hogan’s crib (CandyKirby)

Dick Cheney gives West Virginia to the Democrats (GabbyBabble)

Smells like…Avril Lavigne? (JustJared)

Tyra = God? (FourFour)

Gary Hart: only career dead (Radar)

Elmo’s in the closet (AgentBedhead)

The debauched escapades of the tweaking, giggling, starfarking homunculus Elmo (TeenyManolo)

Miley Cyrus’s furst kizz. an sekund. an therd… (Lolebrity)

Giselle Bundchen wants to be just like Mom (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

New Harry Potter book coming out (DailyStab)

Clay Aiken and partner Jaymes are expecting (CelebritySmack)

Casa Brangelina is ruled by children (ImNotObsessed)

Charlize Theron wants to be a Mom (IBBB)

Jennifer Hudson’s public service announcement (CandyKirby)

Celebtags: there are no wrong answers (Celebtags)

More about Bill Murray’s divorce than you ever wanted to know (Defamer)

Kirk Douglas and his wife dedicate their 400th donated playground, break it in (CeleBitchy)

Naomi Campbell vs Officer Friendly (US)

Victoria Beckham donates dresses to children’s charity (JustJared)

New Kids are back on the Block! (SeriouslyOMG)

Mazel Tov, Indy! (Mollygood)

Heidi Klum enjoys happy finish to Happy Meal (TheBlemish)

Where’s Mischa? (EvilBeet)

Supernanny volunteers to help Britney (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Presenting: Matt Damon as Ned Flanders (PopSugar)

Ben and Casey Affleck introduce their Baby to Britain (UKPopSugar)

Batman drinks milk. And the blood of his enemies (Webster’s)

Pete Wentz commissions Lego artwork (WWTDD)

Something tells me that Mischa Barton and Margherita Missoni aren’t exactly the best of chums.  After all, true friends don’t let each other go out dressed like that, do they?