redsquid Says:
July 29th, 2010 at 7:11 am

Shrek gives one thumbs-up to Nicholas Cage’s new film “Pickled! The musical inspired by ‘Leaving Las Vegas’”.

You know what? I bet someone would produce that and many, many dumb people would pay to see it.

Congratulations and imaginary swag to first-time winner redsquid! He/She/It is now the proud possessor of the virtually actual, and actually fabulous PICKLE SURPRISE!

Or maybe just the nearest heavenly body?

Patrick Kim McDermott’s Return from Xanadu (TrueSlant)

Robert Downey Junior’s Rehab Blues (Lolebrity)

Who is dating Kate Hudson? (Dealbreaker)

Figwit 2.0 (AgentBedhead)

Lady Gaga is okay with it (AllieIsWired)

Heidi, ho? (AmyGrindhouse)

Baby, Daddy (BusyBeeBlogger)

The shoes of a style icon (CeleBitchy)

Fanorexia kills (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Celebrity Foot Abuse! (CelebritySmack)

Lend Me a Seeing Eye Dog say the Olsen Twins (DailyStab)

Save the society columnist! (Gawker)

Is! Nothing! Sacred! (DListed)

Straight men skip this post (EvilBeet)

Tia Carrere is on the market! (GabbyBabble)

Nic Cage wigs out (GoFugYourself)

Erin Andrews vs the Trolls (HaveUHeard)

Channing Tatum married a necrophiliac (INeedMyFix)

The REAL secret of American Idol (IBBB)

St. Brangelina in Bosnia (JustJared)

At last, a story we can ALL enjoy (LitelySalted)

The English Patient didn’t fly THAT airline (Movieline)

Jennifer Hudson now 30% off (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

I wouldn’t touch that bunny’s eggs with a ten foot pole (UKPopSugar)

Craig Ferguson’s robot skeleton sidekick (SeriouslyOMG)

Thanks to a malfunction at Picapp, I’m not sure exactly who these people are, but given the news about Wayne Newton’s financial troubles (see farther down this post) I can only assume they’re some sort of Wayniac fund-raising team, perhaps busking on the street for pennies and francs to pay off creditors. All that fabulousness doesn’t come cheap!

Bums in Seats: the dollar value of celebrity bottoms (True/Slant)

The United States of Jay-Z (Lolebrity)

The Return of Reznor (AgentBedhead)

Diane Krueger has a past (LitelySalted)

Lady Gaga dares you to cross the line (AmyGrindhouse)

Hold the phone! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Nic Cage needs more than a tax shelter (CelebritySmack)

Dr Who homeless? (HolyMoly)

Betty White won’t do the casting couch (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Hot men: all you can eat! (CeleBitchy)

Nude jogging: doesn’t that hurt? (CrazyDays&Nights)

All About Eve 2.0 Nicole vs Selena (EvilBeet)

Sean Penn is such a charmer (GabbyBabble)

Bumpits hit the red carpet (GoFugYourself)

Demi Moore is immortal (INeedMyFix)

Jennifer Aniston is a total pro (IBBB)

Rihanna has found her perfect man (JustJared)

Jon Stewart gets lucky on Chatroulette (Movieline)

Johnny Depp? Or Keanu Reeves? (AccidentalSexiness)

Rootin’ Tootin’ Wayne Newton needs you, Wayniacs! (PerezHilton)

Green Lantern 3D (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Kate Moss vs Sienna Miller (UKPopSugar)

Charlie Sheen is rejected (RadarOnline)

Mickey Rourke overshare! (SeriouslyOMG)

Who the heck is Nikki Yanofsky? (TenGossip)

Overshare roundup (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

I’m stuck in rehab with Pat O’Brien (StuckInRehabWithPatO’Brien)

Paris Hilton hires the handicapped: colorblind Oompa-Loompa thanks her (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse, British-mawed no more (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity Rap Sheet (LiquidGeneration)

Failed murderess still taking shots at the victim 16 years later (CelebritySmack)

Rihanna in post-Grammy, pre-Afterparty car crash (Dlisted)

Princes William and Harry to bike across Africa (CelebrityRightpundit)

Frances Bean Cobain is pretty, not her parents (Celebwarship)

More than we really wanted to know about Heather Mills’s erogenous zones (Mollygood)

Gwyneth sez: Brooklyn is the new Malawi (Popsugar)

Sienna Miller got her driver’s license, needs new photo to go with her new face (ICYDK)

Owen Wilson needs another intervention to get him off Kate Hudson (CeleBitchy)

Nicholas Cage sues Peggy Sue! (DailyStab)

Katherine Heigl gets a mom-makeover (EvilBeet)

Charlotte Church is a Jedi Mistress (HolyMoly)

The Knowles sisters keep it real. Real bitchy (GoFugYourself)

Johnny Depp’s kids go to Disneyland (JustJared)

Playdate for Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie? (ImNotObsessed)

Engineering secrets of the rich and famous, starring Aretha Franklin (HolyCandy)

New Line stiffs the estate of JRR Tolkien (PerezHilton)

Jennifer Aniston is 39. But how does Angelina feel about that? (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Trent Reznor now twice as pretty (raincoaster)

Perez Hilton forms a foundation for premature babies. Awwww. (TeenyManolo)

Simon Cowell is a LOT friendlier than we thought (EvilBeet)

Kathleen Turner is STILL big. It’s the romcoms that got small! (AgentBedhead)

Ben Affleck has still got it, but alas is sharing it with Jennifer Garner (DailyStab)

Is Angelina Jolie pregnant with twins? (X17)

Tori Spelling is an unstoppable baby-making machine (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse is in rehab. Check back every ten minutes for updates, though (I’mNotObsessed)

Britney Spears tries to pick out some new children (US)

Clay Aiken haiku (Mollygood)

Star Jones makes sense? Wha??? (HuffPo)

False gods of celebrityhood (Cityrag)

Agent99 lives! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Steve Buscemi 2.0 (Websters)

Drug dealer to the stars selling more than weed (Defamer)

Doris Lessing, blogger-h8er, Nobel Laureate, feels sorry for chick-lit stars (Gawker)

John Travolta is a klass act (CelebritySmack)

And they take in a showing of Juno, that teen pregnancy flick (PageSix)

So much for mom Lynne’s parenting book (DailyStab)

Lily Allen, copycat reproducticator (EvilBeet)

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie up the baby ante to 12 (HolyCandy)

Adam Sandler’s new ‘do (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Brad Pitt’s hair through the ages (GabbyBabble)

Amy Winehouse arrested, released (CeleBitchy)

Survivor liar! (CelebritySmack)

Diddy’s party tips (Celebwarship)

Scarlett Johansson as you’ve never seen her before! (PlanetHiltron)

French President Nicolas Sarkozy engaged to supermodel? (AgentBedhead)

Pamela Anderson, natural beauty (DanasDirt)

American Gladiator’s porny past (Defamer)

At last, Britney wins something! (People)

Matthew McConaughey breaks his face (ImNotObsessed)

Worst celebrity parents of the year (Mollygood)

Something to thank Nicolas Cage for: Johnny Depp (PerezHilton)

Britney Spears is/is not/is engaged? (Yeeeeah)

Shia LaBeouf, homeless, drunk, and busted (HolyCandy)

World Music Awards: Celine Dion rocks the big hair, small dress combo (ImNotObsessed)

Bad Celebrity Baby Names has a new entrant: Ever Jovovitch Anderson (DailyStab)

Jon Stewart supports strikers (PerezHilton)

Oprah on YouTube! (JustJared)

Angelina Jolie’s Beowulf press conference (CelebritySmack)

Kevin Federline: Evil Genius??? (Yeeeah!)

Nicolas Cage rampage (CityRag)

The Hoff shops (Defamer)

Jessica Simpson, designer. Coco, watch your back! (MollyGood)

New Spice Girls video (DListed)

Cate Blanchett: Perfect, perfectly pregnant (HollywoodOffender)

Christie Brinkley goes uptown, downmarket (GoFugYourself)

Katie Holmesbot obeys! (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Cage called a security guard at his gated community around 1:30 a.m. Monday after he saw a man wandering inside his home and wearing one of the actor’s jackets, police Lt. Craig Fox said.
Cage was upstairs with his wife and son, and reported seeing the man standing at the door of a bathroom.
“He was standing there naked — except for the leather jacket,” Fox said.

Funnily enough the naked intruder was a tailor – like he of all people would know better than to walk around without a well-cut pair of pants. What next, a hatless milliner breaks into Nic Cage’s home in search of one of his cowboy chapeaus?

Or a bald peruker attemps to burgle Nic’s collection of highly authentic hairpieces? Hmmm..maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.