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Australia, waiting to seduce you

I’m not so sure about Tourism Australia’s latest idea to tie in Baz Luhrmann’s film Australia with the new slogan “See the Movie, See the Country” (in which case you won’t need to actually visit it after all).  Surely it would be more effective if they just used the universal appeal of Hugh Jackman and added a few words like so:

There will be lots of exploration on this holiday

I guess the fake beard would have been redundant.

Oh yeah, I can totally see how this went down. I mean, you know how it is, you’re sitting around, doing three thousand sit-ups a day and living on a diet of injectable botulism and nail clippings and your husband comes up –fresh from his weekly wax-n-polish– and says “Hey Nicks, you know what I’d really fancy? You know how you’re always complaining about those Rhythm Nation costumes I’m wearing around the house? Well what if we did a sort of low key version and wore them together?! To a football game! AND WE’D BE TOTALLY INVISIBLE! Wouldn’t that be great?  Nicks? Nicks?? Blink your eyes if you’re trying to frown.”

Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman, incognito.

Cabana Boy and Watermelon Daiquiri links

Matthew McConaughey rolls wit his posse (Lolebrity)

Truth (and methane) in advertising (AgentBedhead)

The Grey Fox vs La Vida Lohan (ItsCandyTV)

Jackie Chan can chop my sockey anytime (CelebrityDirt)

80′s celebrity flashbacks! (CelebritySmack)

Britney Spears Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill rumours killt (DailyStab)

Katie Holmes gets the hottest men in uniform (CandyKirby)

First glimpses of Nicole Kidman’s lumpy baby blanket (SeriouslyOMG)

Kate Hudson photoshopped to the point of vampirism (AllieIsWired)

Vastly pregnant Gwen Stefani visits the hospital (PopSugar)

Lohan and Ronson get matching “white trash eternity rings” (CeleBitchy)

Trixie Belden and the Case of the Mormon Sex Slave Dog Cloner (Dlisted)

Megan Fox brings her quiet dignity to playing a porny Mother Theresa (Defamer)

New Jersey celebrates its famous crabs (BestWeekEver)

Lisa Suedrow (ICYDK)

Petra Nemcova does her Eddie Munster impression (Yeeeeah)

Beach Blanket Linko!

David Hasselhoff stars in It Came from the D-List! (Lolebrity)

Zac Efron in Three’s Company (MikeyMars)

Matt Damon and Brad Pitt in Celebrity Dad Faceoff (TeenyManolo)

Gossip Blogger in My So-Called Life (raincoaster)

The Young and the Wasted: The Gawker 20 (Gawker)

The Spice Girls star in The (Gilded) Birdcage (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Garner in The Family Way (CelebritySmack)

Method Man in The Man Who Fell to Earth (POTP)

Nicole Kidman in Heaven (CelebWarship)

Salma Hayek makes a triumphant return in The Single Life (DailyStab)

Corey vs Corey (Defamer)

Michael Lohan Jr in Continent (CandyKirby)

Revenge of the Unfairly Slandered Tomatoes! (IBBB)

Britney and KFed in Agreement (ImNotObsessed)

The Dark Knight in Box Office Boffo! (JustJared)

Flavor Flav in Articulate (Mollygood)

Kelly Osbourne in Stripes (UKPopsugar)

Ashanti in Chintz (Crunk&Disorderly)

Matthew McConaughey in Better Late Than Never (CeleBitchy)

Blaaaaaaaaake in Carcerated! (DListed)

Beach Blanket Linko

Amy Winehouse: HoverWino is Hovering (Lolebrity)

Attention Bloggers: enter the Stylin’ Stila giveaway #2 (TeenyManolo)

Nicole Kidman has Sunday on Monday? (SeriouslyOMG)

The Pivert is a scofflaw! (ASL)

“Air Quotes” are “in” (WizbangPop)

Mac Guy single again (PopSugar)

Laura Bush, American Wife? (Radar)

Party at Barack’s! (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Homebody Chelsea Davy tired of Partying Prince Harry of Hearts? (PerezHilton)

Matthew McCoughCoughHey knows where the beef is (Defamer)

Blaaaaaaake Incarcerated still smack’s bitch (Mollygood)

Jude Law and Lily Cole look down their tiny noses at Radiohead (JustJared)

Steve-O makes hella sense. World Ending! (ImNotObsessed)

Kim Kardashian smells (DailySta

The shocking shrunken head of Katie Holmes (IBBB)

All the Mini Me Sex Secrets you didn’t know and really didn’t feel like asking about (GabbyBabble)

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy rock the Boratkini (CelebritySmack)

It’s “Osbournes,” not “Osmonds!” (CeleBitchy)

Friday Lynx

Cameron Diaz goez bawled (Lolebrity)

Gladys Knight’s got a whole new band (Websters)

The Class War: Sheen vs Richards (CandyKirby)

Is Liv Tyler really talking about her marriage? (DailyStab)

Lisa Simpson files for divorce (GabbyBabble)

Amy Winehouse enters Israeli rehab for…opiate addiction? (SeriouslyOMG)

Jennifer Aniston is hungry for John Mayer’s weiner (AgentBedhead)

Katie Holmes is a bully (CeleBitchy)

Kat von D thinks “Some day my prints will come” and there they are, right on her arm (CelebritySmack)

We regret to inform you: Robert Redford is engaged (DListed)

Billy Ray Cyrus is supportive of his daughter after all he put her through(?!?!) (ImNotObsessed)

Meanwhile, Miley’s on MySpace, eating her clothes off (Defamer)

Handbag fetish reaches its apotheosis: Madonna’s castoffs worth more than a kiss from Clooney (ICYDK)

Oprah finds religion in green smoothies (IBBB)

Elizabeth Hurley’s assets do not depreciate with time (JustJared)

Michelle Williams in Cannes (PopSugar)

Nicole Kidman’s due date? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Wednesday Links

Phoebie Price: Cannesed Chikkin Cutletz (Lolebrity)

Claymates are a different breed (Mollygood)

Nicole Kidman is barefoot and pregnant and nude and on the cover (JustJared)

Martha Stewart’s double entendre (Websters)

Diddy’s duds do a dong good(YBF)

Prop-powered penis protest (HolyMoly)

Lily Allen’s zipper problem (SeriouslyOMG)

The Butterscotch Stallion rides again! (POTP)

Jennifer Aniston, defying all odds, turns into girl you’d take home to mom (ICYDK)

Scientology is a cult, and saying so can get you arrested (AgentBedhead)

Madonna apparently stealing Liza Minnelli’s old clothes (ImNotObsessed)

Top 50 Man Candy! (OK!)

Emos Unite! My Chemical Romance protest! (DailyStab)

The crazy cat lady recommends… (IBBB)

Pete Doherty makes the cover: of Celebrity Drugs and Alcohol Weekly! (CandyKirby)

Founder of NKOTB and Backstreet Boys gets 25 years (GabbyBabble)

Steven Tyler is back in rehab (CelebritySmack)

25 funniest people in the US (EW)

25 least funny people in the US (Defamer)

Jodie Foster opens a new can of…no, I can’t finish that joke. I have STANDARDS! (DListed)

Missing Links and Party Animals

Link Challenge: Animal Magnetism

Victory for Narnia! (BuzzSugar)

Jack Black’s Pandamonium (Lolebrity)

Carrie Underwood executes tricky reverse camel toe with half-revolution (IBBB)

Party animal Paula Abdul celebrates Sober Day (SeriouslyOMG)

Gwyneth Paltrow, Joaquin Phoenix and the Brain-Eating Frogs (CandyKirby)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty and other beautiful, unhousebroken creatures (GabbyBabble)

A lion protects her cubs: a Lohan, on the other hand… (CeleBitchy)

Kitlers vs Uwe Boll (AgentBedhead)

Megan Fox flips for Peter Fox (CelebritySmack)

Guess who’s prehensile claws these are! (Bastardly)

Lindsay Lohan’s minkgate continues (EvilBeet)

Bunnies on the Loose! (DailyStab)

Secretariat in Paris (ImNotObsessed)

John Mayer also horse-like, but not horsey (CelebSlam)

Hello Kitty appointed Japanese ambassador to the world (DListed)

Sexiest Male Vegetarians…could use some meat (Defamer)

Nicole Kidman visibly carrying passenger (Mollygood)

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