Ayyyy!

Miley Cyrus is Electra Woman for the 21st Century! (Celebuwreck)

Speaking of “parent issues:” Michael Jackson Comeback Threat Alert Red (CelebSlam)

Gwyneth Paltrow is only ever Gwyneth Paltrow, even when it costs other people a fortune (CeleBitchy)

Gwyneth Paltrow pulls a Miley Cyrus, twenty years later (NOTW)

Amy Poehler will be a good Baby Mama (Derober)

Why Miley Cyrus’ overexposure is all Annie Leibovitz’s fault (Gawker)

TR Knight brings GLAAD tidings politicians don’t want to hear (E!)

Celebrity beverages. Must be of legal age or, presumably, on an Annie Leibovitz shoot (Jossip)

Annie Leibovitz is sorry we all misunderstood the naked fifteen-year-old “art” (WendyWayrad)

Battle of the B-Movie Directors (AgentBedhead)

Miley Cyrus just wants to make you happy (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Kirk Douglas defends the olds (Defamer)

John Travolta sez: looking like a porn star is not just for kids anymore! (Yeeeeah)

In sexually-exploited-former-child-star news: Britney sane enough to reprise HIMYM role (Dlisted)

Slash’s kids keep their clothes and their attitude ON, baby! (SeriouslyOMG)

Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn are so money, yet lack cabfare? (PopSugar)

Beyonce and Jay-Z have good old-fashioned values (HolyMoly)

Meanwhile, 15-year-old with longest odds actually turning out classy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Miley Cyrus is a budding Annie Leibovitz herself (CelebritySmack)

Pamela Anderson works hard for PETA, does not know what you mean by “cognitive dissonance” (PopBytes)

Is the Hoff old enough to be dating EVE HERSELF??? (ImNotObsessed)

Robert Downey Jr is a cunning linguist (Jossip)

Amy Winehouse doesn’t have a leg to stand on, almost (WendyWayrad)

NKOTB are miracle workers! (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan parties with fellow leggings abuser (DailyStab)

Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest’s Tryst night (DListed)

Ellen Page (1 nomination, 0 Oscars) severely disses Jane Fonda (6 nominations, 2 Oscars) (Defamer)

Courtney Love’s purse pharmacy (Yeeeeah)

Jeri Ryan Seacrest, Pamela Anderson Cooper, and Boy George Bush (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Disney Superstar goes naked Down Under (CircusHour)

74 reasons to hate TMZ (Gawker)

More than you needed to know about Roseanne Barr’s ladyparts (CelebritySmack)

Doogie Howser hates Britney Spears (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jamie-Lynn Spears hurt in drunken brawl (CeleBitchy)

Gangland rumbles reach new low: nursery school (Bossip)

Aging Canadian surgical curiosity and sex cougar invited to White House (ICYDK)

Simon Cowell haunts Maternity wards to bathe his skin in life-giving placenta (HollywoodRag)

Halle Berry is a golf fanatic? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Your dose of downer: Celebrity incomes (HuffPo)

Posh Spice and the Adams family (JustJared)

Guess what they got Hugh Hefner for his 82nd birthday? A busty blonde wearing nothing but high heels, because really, like Hermes handbags you can never have enough of those in your collection:

Actress Pamela Anderson surprised Playboy entrepreneur Hugh Hefner on his 82nd birthday with a naked lap dance.

The star, who has appeared on the cover of the publication 12 times, gave the media mogul the unique gift during celebrations at the Palms Fantasy Towers in Las Vegas on Saturday.

As Hefner walked into his luxury suite, Anderson, 40, emerged from a bedroom in nothing but high heels and proceeded to perform a seductive routine for him.

George Maloof, who owns the hotel, says, “He was stunned and had the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.

And why not? It must have been an added bonus to find out that Pam could also double as a respiratory assistance device.

A word of caution ladies - if you are adamant that panties are to be your only mode of lower body apparel when appearing on a German variety show, then please please go for the most brightly coloured, farthest away from your skintone pair out there.  That way you can avoid that whole open-jawed double take “wait was that…did she just….wtf is wrong with German tv…” thing that people will inevitably do when the camera and lighting angles decide to join forces against you.

YOU don’t know how to cure constipation! Tom Cruise DOES! (Youtube)

And Adam Sandler knows Tom Cruise…or at least is willing to blurb on his behalf (EvilBeet)

The Tom Cruise Scientology video you haven’t seen! (YouTube)(for now!)

Quiz: Who’s your TV boyfriend? (CelluloidBlonde)

Attention bloggers: Adopt A Writer! (AdoptAWriter)

Brit-onomics: how Britney Spears feeds multitudes (Defamer)

How not to be Heath Ledger (Gawker)

Britney is sick “in a good way,” feeling philosophical (TMZ)

Rambo vs the Governator (AgentBedhead)

Kate Moss looks like her mother (DailyStab)

George Clooney goes after Britney with a baseball bat (AllieIsWired)

Ashley Olsen always looks like you’re about to hit her with a stick (ImNotObsessed)

The Hannah Montana terrorist has been arrested (TrashyCeleb)

Jennifer Love Hewitt tells you 10 things you don’t know about women (POTP)

Dolly Parton’s plastic surgery roundup (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Stephen Colbert gets the Mount Rushmore treatment (CelebritySmack)

Anderson Cooper puts his foot down on the Heath Ledger mania (HolyCandy)

Was Katie Holmes pregnant before meeting Tom Cruise? (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Britney gave Drew Barrymore a run for her money (NinjaDude)

McDreamy in uniform, sigh… (PerezHilton)

Pamela Anderson is a vegetarian dish past its freshness date (Copyranter)

Slim Shady goes dark (WendyWayrad)

Kate Moss parties with preschooler on New Year’s Eve (TheJellyfisher)

Attention: Britney Spears is a big deal (Webster’s)

Amy Winehouse plans post-prison baby with her self-cutting old man (Celebitchy)

George Clooney’s dual-fisted red carpet action! (TheMeatScale)

Amy Winehouse hits the (peroxide) bottle hard (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Pamela Anderson demoting “husband” to “babydaddy” (Dlisted)

Paula Abdul flips out, speaks in tongues. Who knew she was Evangelical? (CelebWarship)

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s date at Chuck E. Cheese (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Mariah Carey, speed (dating) freak (HollywoodRag)

Britney scores a quin-fecta! (Mollygood)

Johnny Depp is the cover of the Rolling Stone (PopSugar)

Halle Berry wants to stay pregnant forever! (ShowbizSpy)

Joey Buttafuoco’s sex tape scandal (EvilBeet)

Avril Lavigne is knocked up (IsThisHappening)

Tom Cruise rocks the Austin Powers look (HolyCandy)

Henry Rollins, unlikely Garbo imitator (CelebritySmack)

Joaquin Phoenix has adult literacy issues (AgentBedhead)

Britney Spears smokes while pumping gas (GabbyBabble)

Spears family finds Dr Phil not the soul of discretion (Defamer)

Bono wears his “preliminary hearing” suit (Gawker)

As we and the rest of the world predicted last November, Pamela and Rick’s listless marriage appears to be sputtering to an end like an old jalopy:

Usmagazine.com has learned that Pamela Anderson had divorce papers personally served to Rick Salomon on Dec. 28.

The papers were served two weeks after Anderson first filed for divorce from Salomon, a decision she rescinded just a few hours later with a blog post that they were “working things out.”

Anderson, 40, stated in her divorce request that she and Salomon were married from Oct. 6 to Dec. 13.

So, “happily ever after” only means about 2 months in modern reality. No need to worry. As the saying goes, there are plenty of fish and playful predatory mammals in the sea.

One is simply the best, the other is a simpleton with breasts.

Pamela Anderson may not have the best record on staying married, but she cannot be faulted for trying to make things work when the initial euphoria of incessant lovemaking and “hey I hooked up with Pamela Anderson!” has fizzled out.  Which in this case, is probably around the 2 month mark.

Even strong marriages can reach the point where one passes out on the couch beside their oblivious husband as he ponders what he has got himself into. And if things don’t eventually work out then all is not lost, at least for Pamela.  Rest assured, there will always be someone waiting in the wings to ready to slip a diamond onto her ring finger.

RIP, Big Martha (FromScratch)

What the stars are mouthing silently (TheLiteraryPursuit)

Today in Job Satisfaction News: Paris Hilton imitator sick of Paris Hilton too! (AgentBedhead)

Mike Tyson does the pokey hokey-pokey. You put your right cross in, you take your right cross out… (GabbyBabble)

Heidi Montag cute, stacked, delusional (FatbackAndCollards)

Dennis Quaid’s babies overdosed! (HolyCandy)

Pamela Anderson is exquisite, corpse-like, strangely tentacled (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Kate Moss stays classy, threatens Sienna Miller at a drunken party (FemaleFirst)

Ben- congratulates -Nnifer on her pregnancy (CelebritySmack)

Munchkins get their star (Popbytes)

Interspecies compassion (CityRag)

Lachey is back, biotches! (DailyStab)

Beyonce’s booty is back (GoFugYourself)

Johnny Depp sings the hits of the Seventies: the Eighteen-Seventies! (EvilBeet)

Will Ferrell has a murder-boner (FunnyOrDie)

The Bachelor stays single (Defamer)

Audience freakouts are Oprah’s Favorite Thing (Jezebel)

Yet another angle on the Jen vs Angie thing! Isn’t that so last year? (HuffPo)

Dear Rachel Bilson, quit stalking me (Craigslist)

The Hoff and two surgically altered blondes of varying fame and gender assignment pose at the opening of the new Planet Hollywood in Vegas.

While I love random tranny’s giant carbuncular cocktail ring, I can’t help but thinking this whole set up is about one studio light away from a full on Wicked Witch-style meltdown.

Britney Spears IS: the Bionic Woman! (AgentBedhead)

How drunk do you have to be to get arrested for drunkenness in Dublin? Jonathan Rhys Myers knows! (CelebritySmack)

Guess the celebrity whale tail (LiquidGeneration)

Heidi Klum forgot her pants, whale tail (GoFugYourself)

The UN takes on Amy Winehouse, will sendiCanadian peacekeepers to Notting Hill (Mollygood)

Kanye breaks down onstage (StereoHyped)

Alicia Keys is a ninja at the AMA’s (TheMeatScale)

Putting the “whatever” in Model/Actress/Whatever (CrabbiesHollywood)

Jessica Alba is not a morning person (DailyStab)

RIP Mister Whipple! (DListed)

The Hoff takes a bite out of Pamela Anderson (WebstersIsMyBiotch)

Julia Roberts shows off her new baby (PerezHilton)

Julia Roberts steals Handicapped parking spaces (Scandelerious)

13-year-old Amy Winehouse on her hopes for the future (WendyWayrad)

The Redemption of Omarosa (Defamer)

Kim Kardashian vs Beyonce: duelling junk (D*anasDirt)

Naomi Campbell: what an ass (Bossip)

Kristen Bell and her boxer (ImNotObsessed)

Give Thanks: KFed gets the kids for Thanksgiving (EvilBeet)

Owen Wilson, beach boy (Celebslam)

Simon Cowell is a Botox bohunk (US)

Vince Vaughn could cornrow his nosehairs (JustJared)