Ayyyy!

One is simply the best, the other is a simpleton with breasts.

Pamela Anderson may not have the best record on staying married, but she cannot be faulted for trying to make things work when the initial euphoria of incessant lovemaking and “hey I hooked up with Pamela Anderson!” has fizzled out.  Which in this case, is probably around the 2 month mark.

Even strong marriages can reach the point where one passes out on the couch beside their oblivious husband as he ponders what he has got himself into. And if things don’t eventually work out then all is not lost, at least for Pamela.  Rest assured, there will always be someone waiting in the wings to ready to slip a diamond onto her ring finger.

RIP, Big Martha (FromScratch)

What the stars are mouthing silently (TheLiteraryPursuit)

Today in Job Satisfaction News: Paris Hilton imitator sick of Paris Hilton too! (AgentBedhead)

Mike Tyson does the pokey hokey-pokey. You put your right cross in, you take your right cross out… (GabbyBabble)

Heidi Montag cute, stacked, delusional (FatbackAndCollards)

Dennis Quaid’s babies overdosed! (HolyCandy)

Pamela Anderson is exquisite, corpse-like, strangely tentacled (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Kate Moss stays classy, threatens Sienna Miller at a drunken party (FemaleFirst)

Ben- congratulates -Nnifer on her pregnancy (CelebritySmack)

Munchkins get their star (Popbytes)

Interspecies compassion (CityRag)

Lachey is back, biotches! (DailyStab)

Beyonce’s booty is back (GoFugYourself)

Johnny Depp sings the hits of the Seventies: the Eighteen-Seventies! (EvilBeet)

Will Ferrell has a murder-boner (FunnyOrDie)

The Bachelor stays single (Defamer)

Audience freakouts are Oprah’s Favorite Thing (Jezebel)

Yet another angle on the Jen vs Angie thing! Isn’t that so last year? (HuffPo)

Dear Rachel Bilson, quit stalking me (Craigslist)

The Hoff and two surgically altered blondes of varying fame and gender assignment pose at the opening of the new Planet Hollywood in Vegas.

While I love random tranny’s giant carbuncular cocktail ring, I can’t help but thinking this whole set up is about one studio light away from a full on Wicked Witch-style meltdown.

Britney Spears IS: the Bionic Woman! (AgentBedhead)

How drunk do you have to be to get arrested for drunkenness in Dublin? Jonathan Rhys Myers knows! (CelebritySmack)

Guess the celebrity whale tail (LiquidGeneration)

Heidi Klum forgot her pants, whale tail (GoFugYourself)

The UN takes on Amy Winehouse, will sendiCanadian peacekeepers to Notting Hill (Mollygood)

Kanye breaks down onstage (StereoHyped)

Alicia Keys is a ninja at the AMA’s (TheMeatScale)

Putting the “whatever” in Model/Actress/Whatever (CrabbiesHollywood)

Jessica Alba is not a morning person (DailyStab)

RIP Mister Whipple! (DListed)

The Hoff takes a bite out of Pamela Anderson (WebstersIsMyBiotch)

Julia Roberts shows off her new baby (PerezHilton)

Julia Roberts steals Handicapped parking spaces (Scandelerious)

13-year-old Amy Winehouse on her hopes for the future (WendyWayrad)

The Redemption of Omarosa (Defamer)

Kim Kardashian vs Beyonce: duelling junk (D*anasDirt)

Naomi Campbell: what an ass (Bossip)

Kristen Bell and her boxer (ImNotObsessed)

Give Thanks: KFed gets the kids for Thanksgiving (EvilBeet)

Owen Wilson, beach boy (Celebslam)

Simon Cowell is a Botox bohunk (US)

Vince Vaughn could cornrow his nosehairs (JustJared)

Sorry, it was there. I had to use it.

Larry Craig and the Village People get their groove on! (Disembedded)

Celebrities love Mr. Bones (Jezebel)

Life after Xena for Lucy Lawless (AgentBedhead)

LiLo’s new BF jilted his fiance for her (with bonus mug shot goodness) (CelebritySmack)

Pamela Anderson as: Hooker Bride Barbie! (DailyStab)

Colin Farrell and Natalie Portman do good (GlitteratiGossip)

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, not so good (GoFugYourself)

Donald Trump disses George Clooney and Angelina Jolie. Start the countdown to the assassination (HolyCandy)

LAPD investigates Orlando Bloom’s car crash (I’mNotObsessed)

Raising Suri Cruise by the book: Dianetics (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Michael Jackson on Kid Nation? Uh, so to speak. (JustJared)

Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia not dating (OK)

Victoria Beckham cracks a smile (PerezHilton)

Kate Moss debuts her Joan Collins tribute collection (MollyGood)

Taye Diggs hotter even when goofy than any man you know (PopSugar)

Ellen DeGeneris releases the hounds (TMZ)

Kimora Lee Simmons, Russell Simmons, their kids, and Djimon Hounsou at the Pumpkin Patch (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Paris Hilton dumps another one (TheRadReport)

Celebrities cheat on their taxes too! (TheJellyfisher)

Debra Messing’s got a new job (Seriously?OMG!WTF?)

Isabella Blow, styled by Alexander McQueen and Frank Frazetta (SassyBella)

Christina Aguilera registers for baby presents (HollywoodOffender)

Zahara Jolie-Pitt flips the bird (TeenyManolo)

Is Ryan Gosling more Ryan Cygnet lately? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Britney finds her destiny (PopSugar)

Is EVERYBODY pregnant? Nicole Kidman edition (Celebitchy)

Catherine Zeta-Jones’s marriage tips (I’mNotObsessed)

Coffee-wielding Britney fan seeks Chris Crocker-style stardom (Defamer)

The fifty best breasts in movie history (what, no Fabio?) (Filmthreat)

Sean Astin is still Goonie, after all these years (MTV)

Britney hides from her children (TMZ)

Who wore it best: Beckham or Bird? (HolyCandy)

Prince Harry’s sinuses are clean as a whistle (CelebritySmack)

The Pamela Anderson Husband-O-Matic (AgentBedhead)

Avril really knows how to work a mic (TheBlemish)

Hugh Grant’s cuddle puddle pix (PerezHilton)

Britney reunites with her Mom (People)

Pete Doherty rejected by Death (AgentBedhead)

Prince William’s taken, sorry (Mollygood)

Pamela Anderson’s married, sorry (Celebitchy)

Nicole Kidman’s military boob stance: drop and give me two pushups (TheMeatScale)

Christina Aguilera shows off her practice baby (DListed)

Jessica Simpson works it for charity (I’mNotObsessed)

Lohan is free: gentlemen, start your engines (TheBlemish)

Jaime Foxx’s training wheels bling (CelebritySmack!)

Maria Shriver, First Lady of California, picks her teeth in public (Celebslam)

It’s Britney, bitch: The official Gimme More video (PopBytes)

Britney, Lindsay, Paris: Mariah Carey has some advice for you (DailyStab)

JLo preggo, yo (TMZ)

KFed’s parenting tips (TeenyManolo)

Reese trashes Britney, Lindsay and Paris, joins rest of world (DailyStab)

Fake Pete Doherty rumours…oh, if only he didn’t exist at all (AgentBedhead)

Angelina Jolie’s suspicious pulchritude (EvilBeetGossip)

George Clooney…sigh (CelebritySmack)

KFed Keeps Kidz (Defamer)

Ann Coulter, 46, wants to take your vote away (Jezebel)

Pamela Anderson outclasses her ex…snark? We got nuthin’ (I’mNotObsessed)

Kate Beckinsale makes a security guard’s day (Celebslam)

Brad Pitt and George Clooney make housecalls? (CeleBitchy)

Jennifer Aniston is tabloid gold (HolyCandy)

Leo DeCaprio’s chick is a chicken (NYPost)

Rootin’ tootin’ Wayne Newton, deconstructed (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Violet Affleck is the Queen of Hollywood (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Ancient Egyptian god Anubis is happy to see you (WOWreport) (reference)

Jenna Bush’s apple doesn’t fall far from the Bush (Jossip)

Perez Hilton’s shiner, Hugh Hefner, and the hookers (PerezHilton)

Britney can drive, y’all! Lock up your Kias! (People)

Ben Affleck, Superdad! (OK!Magazine)

Manolo asks, sort of like the one your Aunty Thelma used to wear. You remember her, with the cigarettes and the raspy voice, the three ex-husbands and the bosom that touched her knees.

Eva Longoria’s dirty home movies? (DailyStab)

Right Now, Van Halen still rocks (AgentBedhead)

Tom Cruise’s enemies spontaneously repent, off selves (CeleBitchy)

Spice Girls sell out (CelebritySmack)

Britney doesn’t need a babysitter anymore, y’all! (I’mNotObsessed)

Britney’s scofflaw ways that lost her kids (GabbyBabble)

But she’ll always have the Just Britney art show (WOWReport)

Keith Urban’s motorcycle wipeout (ICYDN)

Mary-Kate thinks she’s God, possibly inhaled (NYDN)

It’s Take Your Shiloh to Work Day for Brangelina (AllieIsWired)

Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom together again for the first time (HolyCandy)

The (d)evolution of Carrot Top (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Ben- blames -Nifer for failure (HollywoodOffender)

Pamela Anderson engaged to Paris’ pornographer  (Yeeeah)

Katie Holmes “acts,” forgets to move facial muscles (LaineyGossip)

David Letterman welcomes Paris Hilton, wipes floor with her (Defamer)

Yes, tis a great day for internet sex tape industry. Tis a great day when the creative genius behind “1 Night in Paris” and the leading lady of Pam and Tommy’s “Honeymoon Video” are given the green light to join forces by the Clark County Marriage License Bureau:

Onetime “Baywatch” beauty Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon, a former boyfriend of Paris Hilton, applied for and were granted a marriage license in Las Vegas on Saturday, the syndicated TV show “Access Hollywood” has reported.

This high-profile collaboration promises to result in the most downloaded video ever, surpassing the heights set by Paris Hilton’s night vision masterpiece. No wonder Paris has been looking so glum lately.