Ayyyy!

Kim Cattrall begins a new career as a Farrah Fawcett impersonator. What Would Patrick Swayze Do?

You need something nourishing if you’re going to pull an all-nighter, and the midnight cocktail has nutritious Stout, full of sustaining carbs!

Michael Jackson “his” Blanket (YBF)

Bai Ling and Mickey Rourke, king and queen of Hell Prom Night (Websters)

Dame Edna for MAC cosmetics, NO REALLY (WOWReport)

Paula Abdul changes it up (CityRag)

Oprah was a bad girl? Are you on crack? (CeleBitchy)

How to make it onto American Idol in 20 easy steps (BWE)

Is this the next Ambassador to the Court of St. James? (FakeKarl)

The Hudson River Miracle (Gawker)

The Hero of the Hudson (EvilBeet)

Christmas lives forever in the heart of Taylor Momsen (JustJared)

Jade Goody has never looked better (HollywoodTuna)

The BAFTAS don’t care about British people! (Defamer)

Katie Holmes is on fiyah! (CandyKirby)

Sienna Miller shops from someone else’s cart (Lainey)

Britney’s Fantasy Island discovered, mapped (GOTA)

Patrick Swayze is ON! (SeriouslyOMG)

Stars as Big Girls (PopBytes)

Pink never drops them, she just recycles them (POTP)

Lily Allen is VERY close to her brother (BFYL)

Travesty Alert: Karate Kid remake (IBBB)

The hottest accessory in Hollywood (CelebritySmack)

Karl does not care about your demode recession woes (HolyMoly)

Fake Chanel, real useful (Cvxn)

Anne Hathaway has found her new liar (AmyGrindhouse)

Verne Troyer on the rampage! (TheLondonBlog)

How to start a cult (AgentBedhead)

The Happy Birthday Kate Moss quiz (UKPopSugar)

Because the gossip blogging world has been on one long debauch since before Christmas, we’ve had a nice, restful layoff waiting for something, anything, new to post. It’s finally arrived, and to celebrate we shall raise a glass of something properly festive: a Champagne Cocktail (we at Ayyyy recommend the French 125, a French 75 with cognac instead of vodka; well, actually we recommend two. But definitely not four and we speak from experience, although our top story might just tempt us, sob).

Craig Ferguson just broke my heart (SeriouslyOMG)

One hit wonder vs one hit wonder (AgentBedhead)

Lilo sets us straight (AmyGrindhouse)

His Aspen froze! (BestWeekEver)

DIY Celebrity Wikipedia entries  (Cracked)

Happy Nonyverssary! (GhostOfAFlea)

Patrick Swayze update (CeleBitchy)

Celebrities as novelty hookers: the economics (CelebritySmack)

A girl for Bennifer 2.0! (People)

Isla Fisher isn’t loving the lawsuit life (UKPopSugar)

Bono confesses! (HolyMoly)

Stop! In the name of Adorableness (DailyStab)

Lisa Marie sez Scientologists do TOO do drugs! (Defamer)

Thank you for being a plastic injection moulded homunculus (DListed)

Godly author takes entire good BOOK in vain! (Gawker)

Has-been vs blogger (EvilBeet)

Is Karl a pimp? A ho? An alien? (FakeKarl)

Patricia Arquette files for divorce (GabbyBabble)

Owen Wilson needs your help! (CandyKirby)

Jerry O’Connell and Rebecca Romijn have twins (CelebWarship)

For some people, it’ll ALWAYS be too early for a comeback (IBBB)

Brad Pitt channels William H. Macy (JustJared)

Paris Hilton’s nose grows, rhinoplasty scheduled (Websters)

Ann Coulter: only her plastic surgeon knows for sure (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

When you’re out of rum, you’ve got to improvise. And you think those French farmers would drink imported stuff, cold night or not? Hardly!

Tina Turner is hot stuff! (SkinnyVsCurvy)

Tom and Katie and Dave and Vicky heat up (AgentBedhead)

Ivana new boytoy (CelebritySmack)

Patrick Swayze sets things straight (CeleBitchy)

Colbert vs Kanye; the war heats up (TheBastardly)

It’s the Great Recession, Charlie Brown! (IBBB)

Pure evil vs natural beauty (DListed)

Blaaaaaake Incarcerated Again (DailyStab)

Was Kate Winslet cheated of nude glory? (Defamer)

Can “Zoolander II” be true? (EvilBeet)

Sean Penn turned the heat up on James Franco (GabbyBabble)

Starlet attacked by yeti (GoFugYourself)

Camilla Belle not so hung up on personal hygiene (Websters)

Boy George will cuff you! (Mollygood)

Helena Bonham Carter’s mime performance of Les Miserables (CandyKirby)

Jessica Alba’s a Campari calendar girl (PopSugar)

Matthew McConaughey feels the Oedipal threat already (AgentBedhead)

Pregnant man’s baby worth only 1/10th a McConaughey (Gawker)

Lynn Spears ended, not just ruined, one young life (CeleBitchy)

OK, no. Britney to reunite with Justin? (OK)

Sienna Miller, Topless Terror of Torino, sues for invasion of privacy (DListed)

Ghost like Swayze? I doant THINK so! (Lolebrity)

Nick Bollea is out of juvvie (CelebritySmack)

Adam Levine is a true gentleman of the road (DailyStab)

Britney has a fallback plan if Justin says no (CityRag)

Cavalcade of trip-fab at George Clinton’s birthday (Crunk&Disorderly)

Batman vs Momzo the Clown (Defamer)

Slayer slain (GabbyBabble)

President Bush speaks on the one topic he on which he is an expert (CandyKirby)

Harriet Carter, cocktail queen (IBBB)

Daniel Radcliffe, now legal in even MORE states! (ImNotObsessed)

Gillian Anderson shows off the baby bump (JustJared)

Mr. T’s nuts! (Websters)

Shoes for a season in Hell (Radar)

Fiddy vs Taco Bell (PerezHilton)

Blaaaaake, Incarcerated for two more years (CelebritySmack)

The Pope finds your lack of faith disturbing (Lolebrity)

Patrick Swayze is immortal! (DListed)

Courtney Love is such a joker! (AgentBedhead)

No, really, she is (Gawker)

We need to set her up with these guys (CandyKirby)

Jessica Simpson is just like you, haters! (DailyStab)

The Chosen Twins spotted! (BauerGriffin)

Heidi Montag shipped to Iraq (JustJared)

Catastrophe on the set of “&” (Defamer)

Someone airlift Claudia Schiffer out of there before it’s too late (GoFugYourself)

If you turn your wife into you, is that self-abuse? (GabbyBabble)

Sean Connery thinks, strangely enough, that his grown son should get a job (CeleBitchy)

Dance like nobody’s watching…because if you’re Dina Lohan, it’s true! (IBBB)

Lindsay Lohan is a sellout (Websters)

Blogger donates kidney, liveblogs it (Mollygood)

Gwyneth’s so British she has a double-decker stroller (PopSugar)

Janet Jackson’s nipple not worth a half-million dollars (SeriouslyOMG)

Gore Vidal will have none of your nonfiction-worship, heathens! (Radar)

Katie Holmes goes shopping for an American Girl (WizbangPop)

Sarah Jessica Parker haz a ward robe malfunkshun (Lolebrity)

Trent Reznor doubles his chances of a date Saturday night (AgentBedhead)

Eva Green searching for Trent Reznor’s number (TheBlemish)

Jessica Alba talks about the new baby (ImNotObsessed)

Tori Spelling pops (CelebritySmack)

Naomi Campbell threatens a generation yet unborn (DailyStab)

Eva Longoria may be people-smuggling (DListed)

Mark Wahlberg also pregnant (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Lindsay Lohan is working on Labour Pains (PopSugar)

Roman Polanski loves children (Mollygood)

Diddy is Daddy (UsMagazine)

Who wore it best: Larry King vs Donald Trump Hair Edition (CandyKirby)

Keith Urban unfamiliar with hippie babywear (Defamer)

Justin Timberlake is not amused (Gawker)

Patrick Swayze ingeniously extends health insurance by going back to work (Radar)

Blaaaaaaaaaaaake to be Incaaaaaaaaaarcerated for several years (CeleBitchy)

Madonna’s roots have roots (CityRag)

Perez Hilton’s clothing line launch mobbed by invisible people (EvilBeet)

Kate Moss can’t even go to the bathroom by herself (ShowHype)

Alanis Morissette’s got a new gig: at Kinko’s (GoFugYourself)

Free Speech wins one for Xenu! (AgentBedhead)

Michelle Williams in Cannes (HollywoodOffender)

Harry Potter actor slain protecting younger brother (CeleBitchy)

Sharon Stone says China had it coming (WWTDD)

RIP Sydney Pollack (Defamer)

RIP Dick Martin, claimed by the Fickle Finger of Fate (Gawker)

Patrick Swayze and Lisa Niemi renew their vows (DailyStab)

Brangelina purchase $60 million Chateau Miraval (DListed)

The Curse of Joey (EvilBeet)

Debbie Gibson channels Charo (CandyKirby)

Samantha Ronson fills Wilmer Valderrama’s “shoes” (ImNotObsessed)

Jared Leto fails to sulk, succeeds in regaining hotness (JustJared)

Britney officially no longer a joke (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Guess the success of Sex (Mollygood)