For just five cents a day you can feed a Hollywood stylist (CelebWarship)

Tom Cruise busts a move (AgentBedhead)

Paula vs Simon. It’s ON, bitches! (GenosWorld)

Beyonce beaten! (AmyGrindhouse)

Kiefer’s a star in our hearts and on our sidewalks (UKPopSugar)

Childhood trauma explains Pam Anderson’s taste in men (CelebritySmack)

Brad Pitt’s kids will ask him to get married (CeleBitchy)

The Black Hole of Hasselhoff (CityRag)

“I love you.” “What?” (Reuters)

The weirdest way to skip work (Crunk+Disorderly)

Oprah admits she fell off the wagon (DailyStab)

William Shatner plays doctor (Defamer)

Your Illinois governor scandal sheet (EvilBeet)

Jessica Simpson learned from these guys (FourFour)

Cate Blanchett’s Spanx are showing! (GabbyBabble)

JLo learns Angie but good! (GoFugYourself)

You know what they say: big feet… (HolyCandy)

The 5th Day of Harriet Carter Christmas (IBBB)

Rumble at Chuck E. Cheese! (CandyKirby)

The day the Earth stood still for Keanu and Jennifer (ImNotObsessed)

The Brangelina clan to expand again? (JustJared)

Miley Cyrus, silent at last (SeriouslyOMG)

Jim Carrey will do anything for a laugh (ASL)

Lindsay Lohan’s leggings are flying off! (Websters)

It was the 150th anniversary of the birth of the gin and tonic yesterday. Whatever shall we do to celebrate, hmmmmm?

A new Christmas classic (CandyKirby)

The great cultural classic of our time, celebrated (AgentBedhead)

And a new cultural classic is born (CelebritySmack)

Cougars: another timeless classic (CeleBitchy)

Obama Montana to be a new classic? (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Decolletage never grows old (CelebWarship)

or I could be wrong about that… (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Ebony and Ivory, some classic pianoforte (AprilWinchell)

Revenge is a dish best served on the cover of Vogue (DailyStab)

Hollywood heathens (Defamer)

Polka dots by Commes des Garçons (FakeKarl)

Beards are always classic (GoFugYourself)

Drop dead Reese Witherspoon (JustJared)

Harriet Carter classics (IBBB)

In the classic game of celebrity dating tennis, the score is always love all (UKPopSugar)

Celebrities! On! Toast! (Mollygood)

Madonna knos how 2 whistle (Lolebrity)

Pete “999″ Doherty saves the day! (AgentBedhead)

Kylie Minogue is legion! (CelebritySmack)

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are canine collectivists (DailyStab)

Viggo Mortensen will outnumber his Oscar competition (Defamer)

Obama’s celebrity Cabinet (Gawker)

Britney Spears gets a job! (CandyKirby)

Lindsay Lohan’s epiphany caught on camera (IBBB)

Princess Diana dug up and made to promote Keira Knightly film (ImNotObsessed)

Paula extends mixed welcome to new Politburo member (POTP)

Roberto Cavalli shares his clothes out to the Miley/Marcia collective (JustJared)

Matthew McConaughey believes in an equal division of labour (PopSugar)

Pornstar hooked on opiate of the masses? (DListed)

Canuckistanis cannot be killed! (Mollygood)

Madonna redistributes capital (Websters)

Put a lid on it! (CityRag)

Dancing with the Stars work group forms (SeriouslyOMG)

London’s mayor now wanted by Beijing … dead or alive! (raincoaster)

It’s Jennifer Morrison of House vs Paula Abdul – the Battle of the Downy Breasted Birds! One keeps her patients properly medicated, the other keeps herself improperly intoxicated.

Link Challenge: Animal Magnetism

Victory for Narnia! (BuzzSugar)

Jack Black’s Pandamonium (Lolebrity)

Carrie Underwood executes tricky reverse camel toe with half-revolution (IBBB)

Party animal Paula Abdul celebrates Sober Day (SeriouslyOMG)

Gwyneth Paltrow, Joaquin Phoenix and the Brain-Eating Frogs (CandyKirby)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty and other beautiful, unhousebroken creatures (GabbyBabble)

A lion protects her cubs: a Lohan, on the other hand… (CeleBitchy)

Kitlers vs Uwe Boll (AgentBedhead)

Megan Fox flips for Peter Fox (CelebritySmack)

Guess who’s prehensile claws these are! (Bastardly)

Lindsay Lohan’s minkgate continues (EvilBeet)

Bunnies on the Loose! (DailyStab)

Secretariat in Paris (ImNotObsessed)

John Mayer also horse-like, but not horsey (CelebSlam)

Hello Kitty appointed Japanese ambassador to the world (DListed)

Sexiest Male Vegetarians…could use some meat (Defamer)

Nicole Kidman visibly carrying passenger (Mollygood)

John Mayer commemorates this day with historic haircut (CelebrityDirt)

Christina Aguilera is overcome at the emotional celebration (CandyKirby)

Asbestos is the opiate of the people…the people who go on Scientology cruises (AgentBedhead)

Madonna and Justin Timberlake entertain the masses (DailyStab)

Let them eat brioche, say Angie and Brad (ImNotObsessed)

Brazilian shoemaker poses with accessibly-priced, responsibly-manufactured footwear (DerekHail)

Britney Spears blew $61 million dollars in one year and you earn no interest on your tax refund (CeleBitchy)

Gadfly of the establishment the DC Madam dies under mysterious circumstances (Jezebel)

The Man keeps the People down yet again (DListed)

Comrade Ricky Martin launches human rights hotline (ICYDK)

Performers reenact the effect of Capitalism on the Worker. Also: hawt (CelebSlam)

People Magazine now the official newsletter of Doublethink (Websters)

The Opiate of the People just got the cover of Time (Mollygood)

SATC collective maintains party line (PopSugar)

Rehab a rehab: do I smell a new Vegas-themed commune? (Defamer)

At least someone was on hand to sound the death knell for protest marches: Million DJ March (Gawker)

Control of the means of production means Stella McCartney will keep you in pretty, lucite chains (GabbyBabble)

The overlords stick together even on AI (CelebritySmack)

Hey look who just swung down from the rooftop in her sparkly glory! Better not get too close though, lest you find yourself hopelessly tangled in Paula’s web of intrigue, erratic behaviour and incoherent rambling.

Jenna Bush O-Face (Webster’s)

20 most expensive celebrity divorces (CustomizedGirl)

Amy Winehouse is not exactly “clean, green power” (Yeeeeah)

Brad Pitt is not black enough! (PopOnThePop)

We have a Scientologist DOWN! Repeat: we have a Scientologist DOWN! (TheBlemish)

Former child star begins the long slide into bankruptcy, boozing, and B&E’s (AgentBedhead)

It’s La Pequeña’s world. We just live in it (Dlisted)

George Clooney keeps a lid on it (JustJared)

JC Chasez does not Chace Crawford (Mollygood)

Gold digger headed straight for the center of the Earth (DailyStab)

Win a date with Barack Obama! (Stereohyped)

Someone needs to tell Demi Moore it’s just a metaphor (ImNotObsessed)

Lucy Liu wants to be a WASP fashionista popsicle zombie (ICYDK)

Top Model walks? (Defamer)

Most historically inaccurate films (YahooMovies)

Robin Williams soon to be EX-Mrs.Doubtfire (ExtraTV)

Artificial Sweetener Valley High (Gawker)

Tom Cruise and John Travolta abducted by aliens! (CircusHour)

At American Idol, every moment is happy hour (GoFugYourself)