Adrien Brody's prayers were answered when he made Hump Day Hunk

There’s just something about this skeevy bastard that I like. Maybe it’s that he’s a winning rally driver. Maybe it’s that he looks so intellectual, and dresses so Pool Shark. Maybe it’s that hell, it’s been a long time and … but there, I’ve said too much. And besides, I can’t run Prince Harry every week, can I?

Let’s toast to Adrien’s dream come true with a spirited round of Pool Shark, the Drinking Game and some gossip links.

Wine A-Z; the ultimate Go Cup! A jogging bra/wine skin combo? Why the hell not, my camelbak imbues my Sauv Blanc with aromas of Gatorade as it is. (Manolofood)

Van Gogh and Orcas Unicorn Chaser. Make your hump day a little smoother with soothing pictures of swirling stars and wild whales in Downtown Vangroover. Yes, orcas belong in a gossip roundup. I’m Canadian, dammit.  (raincoaster)

Top That! Princess Beatrice’s amazing Hat of Hideousness (+10) is for sale on eBay to benefit children, if not onlookers (Ayyyy)

George Clooney chickens out. The television remake of Men Who Stare At Goats was disappointingly downscaled. (Lolebrity)

Life, Death, Violence, Barbie, and extremely mixed messages. I’m not exactly sure where the war crimes tribunal comes into it, but apparently it does, somewhere. Also: Ken is a draft dodger? (Crasstalk)

Dear God, Johnny Depp is a kinky beast. Taking a page from Chuck Berry, he made Penelope Cruz dress up as a … no, I can’t even say it. Seriously, nobody would put Salma Hayek through that. (AgentBedhead)

Is House getting evicted? Hugh Laurie has a great big, leaky mouth. There, take THAT image into your Bertie/Jeeves slash-thinking mind. (BusyBeeBlogger)

Yet another Jagger kid poses nekkid. Surely I thought we’d run out of these potato-faced wonders by now, but apparently not. Is “Club Kid” really a career choice? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

This is perhaps the most terrifying headline of all time, until you smack yourself in the head and say “IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU PERVERT” and move on. But still. (CelebritySmack)

Oh, Will Smith. It’s not the size: it’s how you use it! And using it to annoy an entire neighborhood is just Letting the Thetans Win. (CelebVIPLounge)

Bristol Palin, now surgically enhanced! But not improved: it wasn’t brain surgery, after all. (DailyStab)

Taylor Swift will out a bitch! This girl doesn’t exist off the record, and if you’re dating her, neither do you (EarSucker)

Lady Gaga is Asian? Golly, she MUST have had some serious work done; she doesn’t look it. (FitFabCeleb)

Owen Freaking Wilson and yeah, like, a bunch of other celebs in Cannes, but who gives a rat’s ass about them? Eh? OWEN WILSON! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Jennifer Aniston’s steamy banana handling. Look ma, no hands! No desperation, either…that is so NOT the sound of faint weeping I hear. Nosiree Bob. (HaveUHeard)

L’innocent sentenced to live in mansion next door to coke connection. Poor thing. That’ll teach HER! (HollywoodHiccups)

Who’s the $100 million man? The one going around spreading herpes? Yeah, “That one who dated Paris Hilton” doesn’t really narrow it down any. (INeedMyFix)

Joan Rivers better watch her back: Kermit the Frog is after her job. The Red Carpet just got a little greener and a LOT cuter (PopBytes)

Adorable Prince Harry and adorable puppy being adorable. Adorbz! What are you still doing here? CLICKY CLICK CLICK! (Swoonworthy)

Caption the Gouvernator and his ex. I’m thinking something Harry Potter related. She reminds me of Emma Thompson’s character, the Divinology professor. (RightCelebrity)

Sigh. George, what went wrong?

That’s my boy. Very few people know that back in ’92 and ’93 I was actually a founding member of the George Stephanopoulos Fan Club, and a contributor to their monthly newsletter, the Stephanopouletter. My copy of The War Room has nearly worn out from being watched every 4th of July. I saw him in person at the Vancouver Summit, where I looked up from my glamorous work unloading the coffee for Starbucks, saw him, and froze. It’s not too often I’ve had my breath taken away, but that was one of those times. An American Secret Service agent who’d no doubt seen this happen to dozens of hapless women walked over and said, “That’s George Stephanopoulos. But he’s not old enough to date.”

Le Sigh.

Where was I? Oh, right. In the spirit of bipartisanship I’ll try to remember to feature a picture of Young John McCain at some point in the future, or you can just cheat and click through for that.

And now, the gossip links!

Julian Assange’s new do (raincoaster)

Shut UP, Emma Watson (Lolebrity)

Guess the gap-toothed guy (Ayyyy)

Our WORLD EXCLUSIVE lasted exactly one day (ManoloFood)

Stayin’ Alive? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! (AgentBedhead)

The baby’s first word was “rhinoplasty” (BusyBeeBlogger)

Jimmy Buffetted! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Have YOU ever been upstaged by your own dress? (CelebritySmack)

Paris Hilton shows you her puppies (CityRag)

But which one is MegaShark and which is Gatoroid? (DailyStab)

Never before has spandex restrained so much for so little purpose (FitFabCeleb)

Gag (GirlsTalkinSmack)

So she was single in the sense that nobody would be seen with her? (HaveUHeard)

Jon Cryer is no different from anybody else (INeedMyFix)

Sad, gender-confused Britney (PoorBritney)

The CougarTown drinking game! (SeriouslyOMG)

Related articles

• Bipartisanship Ho? John McCain Tells Stephanopoulos ‘We Can Work With This’ (mediaite.com)

Scarlett Johannsson knows the worse the hair, the lower the neckline should be

Oh my. Oh my. At least she’s still got two things going for her.

Cameron Diaz is slick! (Shoeblogs)
Nicole Richie is too sexy for her hat (Lolebrity)
Dot dot dot (TeenyManolo)
Start the day off RIGHT! (ManoloBig)
Going in circles looking for wallpaper? (ManoloHome)
Tux and cover! (ManoloBrides)
Dustin Hoffman did it first, boys (AgentBedhead)
Lindsay Lohan is pulling a Klinger to get out of jail (BusyBeeBlogger)
You’ll pry her heels from her cold, dead hands (CeleBitchy)
Paris Hilton is a natural woman of parts (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Ozzy Osbourne is poison! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
so is raincoaster (raincoaster)
World’s two most famous lesbians together at last! (CojoStyle)
ScarJo has two things going for her (CityRag)
St. Angelina wears nose cone falsies (DailyStab)
Johnny Depp fears nothing, not even Penelope Cruz! (HaveUHeard)
I don’t see Emma Peel (INeedMyFix)
Oliver Stone identifies with Hitler (MovieLine)
The hardest-working B-Listers at Comic Con! (SeriouslyOMG)

Well that’s a pretty loose and comfy pantsuit you’ve got going there Penelope – pity your feet won’t be able to share in all that fun.

Viva la Diva! (HolyMoly)

Pete in Paree (LondonBlog)

Christian Bale, Dancing Queen (raincoaster)

Penny vs Woody (AgentBedhead)

Blond on Blonde? (Websters)

Suri: “Srsly?“ (SeriouslyOMG)

Ink not mink (CelebritySmack)

Duff guff (CeleBitchy)

Miley face (CandyKirby)

Meerkat Messiah (GOTA)

Jailbird Joe (CelebWarship)

Lady of Leisure (IBBB)

RyRey Rejected! (Defamer)

Silly Lily (UKPopSugar)

Paging the Claymates! Clay Aiken singing angel music box (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Diddy wins the Gold! In Overshares! (POTP)

Flasher or Flash In The Pan? (Celebuwreck)

Paris Hilton, superhero? (ItsCandyTV)

Welcome to Dumpsville, Jennifer; population: you (CelebrityDirt)

Just let your damn keyboard get dirty for God’s sake! (IBBB)

Win a threesome with Scarlett Johannson (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity Deathmatch: Suri vs Shiloh (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse: the stuff of nightmares (HolyMoly)

Ali Lohan, living la vida silicone (CeleBitchy)

Brad Pitt, typical suburban dad (PopSugar)

Madonna will depopulate Malawi if it’s the last thing she does (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Everybody Batusi! (DListed)

Tyra steals from children (CandyKirby)

Ashlee Simpson is a role model for Canadian youth (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Penelope Cruz isn’t pretty enough to date herself (DailyStab)

Someone tell Brooke Hogan blogging is a privilege, not a right (Websters)

Remaid in Manhattan (SeriouslyOMG)

Britney represents for Team Cheeto! (Defamer)

WaPo vs JonasFanz, yo (Gawker)

Madamism? Madonnaism? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Hammer dropped (AgentBedhead)

Lohan smashed (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Rick, rolled (Guardian)

Rowling potty? (Celebitchy)

Hunky Jesus (Mike Responts)

Presley poisoned! (GabbyBabble)

Hunk drunk (ASocialitesLife)

Carey doubt? (Bossip)

Amy Outhouse (Yeeeeah)

Nice…Spaniards (ImNotObsessed)

Manilow? NO! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Owen’s pickup (Popsugar)

Malthusian Catastrophe (Websters)

Mutual bonding (IDLYITW)

Alba time (DailyStab)

Go-Go’s gone (CelebritySmack)

Cognitive dissonance (CircusHour)

Infomercials: WTF? (LiquidGeneration)

The 5 best faces of Patrick Swayze in Ghost (BWE)

50 gayest songs of all time (SameSame)

Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz are dancing, but who’s the fool? (AgentBedhead)

Salma Hayek prefers boys. Sorry Penny! (Dlisted)

Catherine Zeta Jones has some body image issues (GabbyBabble)

Demi Moore allegedly does not? There’s no justice! (CelebritySmack)

Conflicted Matthew McConaughey designs the very t-shirts he spurns (E!)

The Amy Winehouse soap opera continues apace (Yeeeeah)

Mary-Kate Olsen better keep her monkey paws off mah mayun! (Star)

Daniel Radcliffe faces serious death threats, gets SAS guards (Celebitchy)

Shar Jackson sticks up for FedEx (Bossip)

The Anna Nicole Smith movie: words fail (JustJared)

Julia Roberts and Ozzy Osbourne? (Cityrag)

Smells like…Daddy’s concert! (CelebNewsWire)

Best comedy of the last 30 years is…a joke! (HolyMoly)

Lily Allen is hospitalized for depression (EvilBeet)

Ben Stiller is pumped, Robert Downey Jr is black. Huh? (DailyStab)

Britney’s only Goth from the waist down (DailyStab)

Pete Doherty seeks new life as Smackbob Nopants (Gawker)

or maybe the Easter Bunny? (AgentBedhead)

Top 10 reasons to miss Anna Nicole Smith (Jezebel)

Lindsay Lohan goes dark (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse will bring the funk, may bring the crack to the Grammies (TMZ)

We traded the UK Snoop Dogg for Amy (HolyMoly)

Eva Mendez more Disco than Goth, in rehab for coke (LARagMag)

Scott Weiland, Velvet Revolver front man, back in treatment (GenosWorld)

ScarJo and PeCru go pansexual for ex-sexagenarian Woody Allen (Gabsmash)

Goths Celebs of the Day: Demi and Ashton wear all-black to his 30th birthday party (HolyCandy)

Kill me now: Cher and Tom Cruise were lovers? (Dlisted)

Top 5 celebrity Goth chicks (Hi-5)

The Last Supper of Trent Reznor (LolNIN)

Another reason to drink as if you need one (WorkoutMommy)

Mystery man in black (ImNotObsessed)

Brittany Snow joins the Trenchcoat Mafia (DerekHail)

Lost Boy still lost, still blood-sucking (PerezHilton)

Dita von Teese as the Girl Next Door (SkunksBlog)

Kat von D will never tattoo another agent as long as she lives! (Mollygood)

Kirsten “Vampire Chronicles” Dunst vanishes (Celebitchy)

Madonna is immortal. Because plastic can’t die (TheMeatScale)

Sorry, no Angelina Jolie or Avril Lavigne stories today. Haven’t you heard? They’re not Goth.

WOODY ALLEN gifted Spanish star PENELOPE CRUZ with a pair of his own spectacles after wrapping their new film VICKY CHRISTINA BARCELONA. Cruz confessed she liked the look of the movie director’s classic glasses while they were shooting.

But put it in context with Penelope’s choice of facial accessories in her recent lesbian makeout session (use family wherever possible – it’s a great way to keep costs down!), and we suddenly understand the motivation behind Woody’s generosity (sourcing free props also saves on expenses!).  Nothing relieves a desirous old man of his visual aid faster than telling him you’d like to have a threeway with his glasses and your lookalike sister.