I don’t even like icewine, which is weird because I am normally all about the dessert wines and so I am somehow vaguely unpatriotic for not liking Canada’s national dessert wine, but perhaps it has something to do with the bottle that had been open two years and stored next to the pickles and olives in the fridge which was my first taste of icewine.

Yeah. That’s it.

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Santa Dads (TeenyManolo)

Katie Holmes gets the makeover of her life! (Websters)

Because she really needs it (SeriouslyOMG)

Tony Parker thinks he has in vitro telekinesis (ASL)

Britney’s triumph of hope over experience (WizbangPop)

Partygoers must be on Pixie dust (UKPopSugar)

Pamela Anderson is the new house model at Vivienne Westwood (ElleUK)

Greatest gifts of all time, anywhere (CandyKirby)

Is this Mary-Kate? Or Ashley? (IBBB)

Happy 28th to Christina Drooguliera (Defamer)

Zac Efron at Children’s Hospital (JustJared)

Rihanna brings the bootaloons (GoFugYourself)

Bono is a Freudian (GabbyBabble)

William H Macy’s mercury levels well within safety limits (EvilBeet)

Pete Doherty’s arm assploded! (HolyMoly)

Karl Lagerfeld gets the funk up (FakeKarl)

Lily Allen is in the wrong line of work (DListed)

Smells like Beef Spirit? (DailyStab)

Click for a Cause (CelebritySmack)

Paris Hilton, burgled again (CeleBitchy)

Is ScarJo the new Jennifer Aniston? (AmyGrindhouse)

Buy a $1 beer and fight $cientology (AgentBedhead)

Because if you can’t afford a fireplace the next best thing is a pot of smoky Russian Caravan and a book of ghost stories on a cold night. Or Trent Reznor. Trent Reznor is good on a cold night…or so I’ve heard!

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Clark Gable vs Jimmy Stewart (TeenyManolo)

ScarJo rocks the Mother Of The Bride look (Websters)

Amy Winehouse is back to the salt mines (SocialiteLife)

Boy George really DID want to hurt him (CeleBitchy)

Search for the real killers interrupted for next 33 years (SeriouslyOMG)

Justice for Cate Blanchett (PopBytes)

Anna Wintour still destroying the dreams of America’s best and brightest (WizBangPop)

George Clooney, Socialite for Africa (UKPopSugar)

Queen Oprah crowned (PerezHilton)

Nicole Kidman is stuck on Sunday (ImNotObsessed)

Full House refilled (IBBB)

Clay Aiken does not <3 Kathy Griffin (CandyKirby)

Jamie Lynn Spears’s doctor sucks (GabbyBabble)

The reports of the death of the gossip blogosphere have been greatly exaggerated (EvilBeet)

Yet another reason to hate Katherine Heigl (Defamer)

Bettie Page had a heart attack! (CelebritySmack)

Pete=Pete?!?!?!?! (AgentBedhead)

My milkshake brings all the links to the blog, and keeps ‘em coming back for more. I think it’s the heroin I put in it.

Speaking of which, remember that Pete Doherty guy? (AgentBedhead)

Jayden James escapes California, only to be incarcerated (CelebWarship)

BritTwit says he’s feeling better, though (TheRealBritney on Twitter)

Our public intellectuals aren’t what they used to be (CeleBitchy)

Rod Stewart, the Pete Doherty of 1973 (CelebritySmack)

Mischa Barton is really overdue for a waxing (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Evan Rachel Wood will have you know she is not desperate (DailyStab)

Lamest “Child Star Gone Bad” story in history (Defamer)

John Travolta, the eternal straight man (WWTDD)

Which Emanuel brother are you? (Wonkette)

Taradise Lost: is celebrity hedonism over? (Gawker)

RIP Gus (DListed)

Not even Kate Moss looks good in that (PopSugar)

It must be Miley Cyrus’ personality, yeah, that’s it! (IBBB)

Katy Perry overshares her monthly cycle (CandyKirby)

Taylor Swift has perfect 70′s hair (ImNotObsessed)

Gisele Bundchen has perfect 80′s everything (JustJared)

as does Cindy Crawford (Websters)

Secret Service code names for the Obama family (Jossip)

Erik Estrada scalped Simon Cowell!!!!! (SeriouslyOMG)

Heather Locklear reminds me of something… (Lolebrity)

Sharon Stone wants her kid to have Botox (CelebWarship)

Spike Lee: Why Tonto Should Be a Brother (CandyKirby)

Playing the straight man to Pete Doherty’s Abbott AND Costello (AgentBedhead)

Bret Michaels’ wig is a blogger, too (CelebritySmack)

Kelly Osbourne owes her sex education to Black Sabbath (DailyStab)

Anne Hathaway does not talk nasty (CeleBitchy)

Where Beyonce’s old wigs go to die (Crunk&Disorderly)

God-hating Bill Maher vs Flat Earther Sherri Shepherd (Defamer)

The girl who was JT LeRoy (Gawker)

Mischa Barton works the “Gilbert Grape” look (GoFugYourself)

Helena Bonham Carter’s steampunk shoes (DListed)

Dave Grohl identifies with his attackers (GabbyBabble)

The Wire, with special guest Samuel Beckett (EvilBeet)

Vivienne Westwood’s Parisian catwalk pix (HollywoodRag)

Naomi Watts just won the birthday present stakes (PopSugar)

The Hills monumental recap (IBBB)

Chace Crawford needs to overcome gayface (Mollygood)

Sarah Michelle Gellar and a dolphin unicorn chaser (Websters)

Britney Spears or Jennifer Love Hewitt in a bad wig? YOU DECIDE! (Lolebrity)

Job posting of the year: Courtney Love needs someone to document, then clean up after, the craziness (AgentBedhead)

Sam Ronson hates lesbians? (CelebritySmack)

Pete Doherty goes all John Cusack (HolyMoly)

Tori Spelling, Donna Martin, and The Secret (IBBB)

Porn stars: twice as fertile! (DailyStab)

ZOMG stop the presses: Clay Aiken is GAY???? (Defamer)

ZOMG stop the presses: Lindsay Lohan is GAY???? (Defamer)

Gold for gossip (Gawker)

Lisa Rinna is cougarrific! (GoFugYourself)

Clay Aiken is a Sarah Palin impersonator! (CandyKirby)

Gwyneth Paltrow has forgotten more than you’ll ever know about web design, mortals! (CeleBitchy)

Sharon Stone: you win a few, you lose a few. Too bad they’re your children (DListed)

Chris Rock schools Bill Clinton (Mollygood)

Dita von Teese debuts her teasers (UKPopSugar)

33 worst celebrity baby names (Babble)

Kirsten Dunst sez: ohai this ar seckshool assawlt  (Lolebrity)

Miley Cyrus sez: Meet the boyfriend! (CelebuWreck)

Diablo Cody sez: I may be a badly-inked-up ex-stripper in a muu-muu with a sad robot fetish and twenty dollar Buster Brown haircut, but I’m still better than any of you (Defamer)

Pete Doherty sez: THIS is what became of the likely lads (AgentBedhead)

Elle MacPherson sez: please don’t tell Naomi or Kate! (DailyStab)

NYPost Columnist sez: kittens deserve to die (CelebritySmack)

TomKat sez: our love can never die! Never! Never, I Tell You! Hahahahahahahahawhat? (CandyKirby)

Pearl Jam(?) sez: HR Pufnstuf, where’d you go when things get rough? (raincoaster)

John McCain and Sarah Palin say: watch me pull a polar bear out of my hat (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Zuzu sez: every time Courtney Love flips the bird an angel gets its wings (CelebSlam)

Victoria Beckham sez: I’m 90% less plastic now! (CeleBitchy)

John Mayer sez: at least my Blackberry loves me! (PopSugar)

Madonna sez: hey, big deal! The guitar was eighteen! (SeriouslyOMG)

Sarah Palin sez: I don’t need to hear that Tina Fey! (PopEater)

Lindsay Lohan sez: Stay Gold! (Dlisted)

Hey, I may be a snob, but I’m a snob who isn’t too proud to take the open bar in whatever twisted form it chooses to manifest in, especially when I’ve been working at an art project all day. Pass the peanuts!

Birth, christening, DNA test, court order: Miss Manners, David Spade on Line One (AgentBedhead)

Who you gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS 3! (DailyStab)

The Women are no Clare Booth Luce! (CelebritySmack)

Meat puppet vs producer:Hollywood Smackdown! (Defamer)

Lily Allen gets into another fight at a party (HolyMoly)

McCain wins the monkey vote (Gawker)

Karl Lagerfeld, wanted man (FakeKarl)

Intern George will solve your life (GoFugYourself)

Frantically clutching husbands: the Olympic event (CandyKirby)

Tommy Lee is pleased about blogger self-abuse! (IBBB)

So will Lilo do PlayGIRL instead? (ImNotObsessed)

Britney puts her meat through the grinder (Mollygood)

Brad Pitt handles the transition from Venice to CENTRE OF THE BLOODY UNIVERSE with grace (JustJared)

Pete Doherty costs me five bucks (SeriouslyOMG)

Perez Hilton is slim, handsome, and still completely ridiculous (Websters)

Pete Doherty can’t meet his deadlines because… he’s Pete Doherty! (AgentBedhead)

Sarah Palin busted via Myspace (Civixen)

Vanilla Ice shelf still calving (CelebritySmack)

Natalie Portman in Venice (DailyStab)

The Josh Harnett Um Deeply Interpersonal Tape (Defamer)

Lilo speaks on BritPal (MySpace)

Attack of the MIILFia! (CandyKirby)

Jacko and Pamela Anderson dating? (ImNotObsessed)

Anonymous storm Katie Holmes’ performance September 3rd (JustJared)

Poster children for infidelity kinda grumpy (PopSugar)

Vogue India…where the ridiculous meets the sublime (Mollygood)

Donnie Davies: the return! Take My Hand! (YouTube)

Xtina, before and after (Websters)

Sarah Palin is not flat busted (PerezHilton)

Sarah Palin a fitting heir to GWB (Gawker)

The Pivert is a Diva (Celebitchy)