Ayyyy!

Happy Birthday, Cougarman! George Clooney is 47 (ImNotObesessed)

Would you be the filling in an Owen Wilson/Vince Vaughn sandwich? (CelebrityDirt)

Attack of the Slash! (TheRadReport)

Dustin Hoffman farts in Tom Cruise’s general direction (HolyMoly)

Karl Lagerfeld and Anna Wintour’s dream date (CandyKirby)

Ashley Olsen is no Elizabeth Hurley; Mary-Kate is no Joey Heatherton (Websters)

Uma Thurman’s stalker is a man of convictions. Felony convictions (GabbyBabble)

Pete Doherty on the loose! Lock up your crack! (SeriouslyOMG)

Mister Amy Winehouse may not be entirely respectable (TheSun)

Kate Moss in bondage, lingerie, matrimony, and gainful employment (AgentBedhead)

La Lohan is light-fingered (TheBlemish)

Ant-Man rides the Iron Man’s shiny coattails to new movie deal (Defamer)

Heath Ledger dolls selling like mad (Gawker)

Mariah Carey may have a brain under that weave: she got a prenup (CeleBitchy)

It’s SIR Kylie now! (UKPopSugar)

Beck is back, bitches! (PerezHilton)

Amy Winehouse’s brain makes a break for it, digging escape hatch now (CelebritySmack)

The Chronicles of Narnia, live at Barnes & Noble (JustJared)

Oprah’s critics pick wrong target (Bossip)

Gwyneth Paltrow wears what the Manolo tells her to (JustJared)

Renee Zellweger, charter member, Starfuckers Incorporated (DailyStab)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck and My Little Pony: which one of these is slumming? (CandyKirby)

Shia LaBoeuf may or may not have gotten lucky(? if you call it that) (WendyWayrad)

John Cusack refers Paul Leydon to the hand (JeanJacketsBad)

Bloody Hell! Pete Doherty is insane (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

JLo goes all, like, Alpha Mommy on Nicole Richie (IBBB)

Adrien Brody is marrying retired Aunt Selma from Miami Beach? (ImNotObsessed)

Flat busted: Amy Winehouse arrested (People)

Ellen DeGeneris gently gyno-probes Ashlee Simpson (CelebritySmack)

Harrison Ford’s Brazilliant deforestation PSA/man-on-man chest waxing video (Defamer)

Celebrity cosmetic surgery slideshow (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Betty and Veronica: still best frenemies (CounterfeitChic)

Madonna is a natural beauty on “Today.” And what planet? (DListed)

Mariah Carey to turn Empire State Building gay (HollywoodRag)

Heidi Fleiss on her high horse again (WOWReport)

The happy(?) couple: Carmen Electra and Rock Himbo #3 pose for engagement pix (Websters)

Encounters with Seth Green (Mollygood)

Jonas Brothers kill and bury Elvis Costello, Johnny Cash’s musical cred (MTVBuzzworthy)

Clay Aiken thinks people from Omaha are stupid (EvilBeet)

Rachel Zoe is one cougar who never changes her spots (GoFugYourself)

Scientology teaches Katie Holmes to speak in tongues (CeleBitchy)

Scientology’s niece speaks! (AgentBedhead)

George Clooney’s bedroom habits (CelebuWreck)

Olsen fetus rocks the lamb fetus (IBBB)

Amy Winehouse celebrates 4:20 (CelebrityDirt)

Kate Hudson is ageing, should get her hands off my man (BittenAndBound)

James Bond’s car cannot swim (Jalopnik)

“Forbidden Kingdom” permitted (Defamer)

Texas Polygamist Wives Calendar (BestWeekEver)

Charlie Rose on Charlie Rose on the Internet by Samuel Beckett (Valleywag)

Ewan MacGregor’s daily grind (DailyStab)

Tom Cruise works it like it’s 1989 (AgentBedhead)

Disney Princes: rated R for “rawwwwr!” (TeenyManolo)

Sandra Bullock and Jesse James hit by drunk driver (CelebritySmack)

Lilo drunko, lezbo, yo (EvilBeet)

Pete Doherty may not be the world’s most responsible tenant. Shock! Horror! (CeleBitchy)

The Mona Lisa exploited! (Gawker)

McDreamy at Made of Honor premiere (JustJared)

DC is anti-fun! (PerezHilton)

Jen Aniston cheaps out on Oprah? (Mollygood)

Henry Rollins, gay icon (WendyWayrad)

The honeymoon is over for Beyonce and Jay-Z (Yeeeeah)

Debbie Gibson has a scary Spanish stalker (WhizbangPop)

CNN reporter in speed bust (CeleBitchy)

Celebrities celebrate 420 (CityRag)

A narrow escape for a cinematic classic: Tom Cruise as Edward Scissorhands? (HolyMoly)

Jude Law morphing into your creepy, manorexic uncle (SplashNews)

Heath Ledger may have taken The Method too far (Gabsmash)

Pete Doherty’s credit is good? (TheRadReport)

The incredible Tony Romo impregnation juggernaut? (CelebrityDirt)

Gary Busey soon to be as homeless as he appears! (CelebritySmack)

TomKat is the very picture of marital bliss (DailyStab)

Happy Birthday, Suri! (CircusHour)

Fundie fashion fun (Mollygood)

Evan Rachel Wood is over Marilyn Manson (or at least her face is) (JustJared)

Mariah Carey walks out on her fans (PerezHilton)

The Hoff hassled to the tune of $25,000 per month Hasselmony (USAToday)

Vince Vaughn is the Flabby Flasher of Griffith Park (CelebSlam)

Akon guilty of criminal assault on the truth with intent to blow smoke up your ass (AgentBedhead)

Hollywood selling out (no, that’s not a tautology) (Derober)

The jailbird diaries of Pete Doherty (HolyMoly)

Britney’s Total Fitness? Somewhere between couch potato and Basset Hound (TheBlemish)

America’s Next Top Flight Attendant? (IBBB)

Gossip Wars: attack of the necroporn pimps! (Defamer)

Who is this “Dalai Lama” of whom you speak? (Gawker)

Scientology vs the Little Guy, round N+1 (XenuTV)

Naomi Campbell shuts barn door, gazes wistfully after horse (CelebritySmack)

Get M-K O’s look! Then, presumably, get much-needed corrective lenses (CircusHour)

Ashlee Simpson just isn’t worth it (DListed)

Cameron Diaz issues statement about the death of her father (CeleBitchy)

Johnny Depp will never work with Renee Zellweger again as long as he lives (DailyStab)

Blake, Incarcerated, Forgotten (TheSun)

Scarface (GabbyBabble)

Putin’s poontang  (BittenAndBound)

Victoria Beckham’s Pink Taco is 34? (JustJared)

Perhaps the single greatest concentration of awesomeness in the entire celebrity gossip blogosphere (TaylorMayde)

What IS Dick Cheney looking at? The possibilities revealed (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Karl Lagerfeld’s coke dealer photographed! (Towleroad)

For your next necrophiliac Goth stag party: the Marilyn Monroe postmortem sex tape (Websters)

Pete Doherty adapting well to the bottom bunk (AgentBedhead)

But his ego needs a separate bed (CelebWarship)

Kate Moss dressed for a white wedding (TheRadReport)

Amy Winehouse with child (DListed)

Mariah’s diet secrets have nothing to do with lipo, coke, or diet Redbull. Honest to blog (HollywoodBackwash)

James Blunt is easily hurt (ICYDK)

The Hoff is hawt! (SeriouslyOMG)

Grandma got run over by Timbaland (DerekHail)

Britney Spears to show Chris Crocker how it’s done (TastefulCelebs)

The $90 million per year Chickenhawk strikes again! (CircusHour)

Did a jealous Woz put the hit on Adnan Ghalib? (CeleBitchy)

Jessica Alba visited by the Titty Fairy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Britney gives ME whiplash, too (CelebritySmack)

JLo lost preggo weight, yo. You may now recommence hating her (JustJared)

Save the cheerleader (from the paparazzi) (GabbyBabble)

Hillary Clinton can’t even get a boilermaker right (DailyStab)

Renee Zellweger and the Curse of Bridget Jones (DailyMail)

I Know My Kid’s a Star lets everyone know your mom is a trainwreck (IBBB)

Recession makes Botox unaffordable? Twice the worry lines! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Silver Fox Smackdown: Miss Manners vs Anna Wintour (Gawker)

SATC spoilers. Uh, SPOILER ALERT! (Defamer)

Natalie Portman’s boyfriend Devendra Banhart: hawt or nawt? (Defamer)

Renee Zellweger’s true nature revealed at last! (CelebritySmack)

Renee gets it half-right (Yeeeeah)

Britney cleverly avoids tan lines, personal dignity (Cityrag)

But she DOES put out for charity: $25,000 on her Amex (PopSugar)

MILF vs MILF: Hurley/Paltrow edition (Bastardly)

No, you cannot get in George Clooney’s pants (HuffPo)

The ULTIMATE purse dog (CounterfeitChic)

Nicole Richie is fed up with Paris “Me Too” Hilton (HollywoodBackwash)

Only 40 people in the world want to be Paris’ friend (CeleBitchy)

ScarJo and RyRey have a fight (ICYDK)

Married man caught on film kissing Hillary and NO it’s not Bill! (AgentBedhead)

Pete Doherty has no friends; Kate Moss has no class (HolyMoly)

Mariah Carey says she has low self-esteem, demonstrates unsuspected gift for sidesplitting comedy (DailyStab)

Sandra Bullock is on the run from … wait for it … CANADA! (ImNotObsessed)

Joanie loves orgasms! (DListed)

Vanilla Ice put on ice (JustJared)

Britney Spears is Blanche DuBois in the new Moby musical A Streetcar Named Batshiat (CircusHour)

Alicia Keys is a conspiracy theorist (POTP)

RIP Cedella Booker. Say hi to your son Bob Marley when you get to the other side (CelebrityDirt)

Melanie Griffith’s kid is no Rumer Willis (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Padma Lakshmi models the Ed’s Linens Collection (GoFugYourself)

Hollywood flashback to 1999 (FilmExperience)

Reality tv kills four (Mollygood)

The Ozzfather: Survivor Micronesia recap (RealityTV)

Margaret Cho is a tour guide in the Tunnel of Love (AgentBedhead)

Quentin Crisps (FrontierFormerEditor)

Pete Doherty stole Paula Abdul’s gloves (Dlisted)

Anonymous vs Scientology, round n+1: Operation Reconnect (1stepbeond)

Cult Friction, Scientology decoded (RadarOnline)

Jerry Seinfeld flips out (Derober)

Lindsay Lohan loses a zero, finds the role of a lifetime (CelebritySmack)

Justin Timberlake was a little bit country when he was only a little bit, himself (AllieIsWired)

Angelina Jolie before she had Brad and rhinoplasty (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Naomi Campbell behaves Naomi Campbellianly again (CelebWarship)

New pic of JLo’s twins: r not so cute akshuly (TeenyManolo)

Larry Campbell behaves Larry Campbellianly at Little League (Bumpshack)

OK what? Suri Cruise returns to Earth; celebrity mags, not so much (OK)

Anne Hathaway’s boytoy arrested for blowing through others’ cash like it was…blow? (WendyWayrad)

Baby wants her back back: entire Beckham family stuffs their jeans (TheRadReport)

Steve Jobs takes on the Big Apple (Wired)

Celebrity moose knuckle (Cityrag)

Happy birthday, Britney! (CircusHour)

Happy birthday, Jamie-Lynn (CelebrityBabyScoop)

George Clooney’s not-so-secret bromance (Celebitchy)

Claudia Schiffer hits the slopes with Mini-Her (JustJared)

Tomorrow NKOTB on Today! (DailyStab)

Jessica Alba discovers esoteric French cuisine: the ham and cheese sandwich (Dlisted)

RIP Gary Gygax (TeenyManolo)

JLo and Marc Anthony are so over doing it (DailyStab)

Liev Schrieber is a sexy supervillain (Derober)

Rosie O’Donnell: a portrait of the artist as a pile of junk food (AgentBedhead)

Nicole beats Xtina in the Mommystakes (CelebritySmack)

Jessica Alba is turning into JLo: Oh No! (IBBB)

Paris Hilton’s Buddhist holy man is unholy sham (GoneHollywood)

Vanessa Hudgens gets her drink, arrest on (BackseatCuddler)

Madonna and Demi Moore’s Oscar party candids (Defamer)

20 stupidest faces of Patrick Swayze, and that’s some tough competition (BWE)

Jeremy Piven parties with geeks (Gawker)

Famous writers as children (SomethingAwful)

The Project Runway guide to New York (Gridskipper)

Celebrities without necks (Celebitchy)

Pete Doherty … nah, I can’t say THAT! (Celebwarship)

Mac Guy sez Charlie’s Angel smells heavenly (ImNotObsessed)

There IS no tomorrow for Paula Abdul (ICYDK)

Mary-Kate Olsen’s face approaching Joan Rivers territory (Cityrag)

KFed is fat. Word. The word is “Fat.” (Yeeeeah)

Jamie Lee Curtis is not afraid of Jason, not afraid of Freddy Krueger, and she’s sure as HELL not afraid of a little constipation (GlitteratiGossip)

Anonymous vs Gossip Bloggers (Valleywag)

Ten worst nude scenes of all time (Papermag)

Mariah Carey, Kenneth the Page, a Unicorn, and a good deal of lycra (Defamer)

Heath Ledger’s Nick Drake music video (raincoaster)

King Arthur’s been dead a long time: Pete Doherty is UK Hero of the Year (AgentBedhead)

Nicole Richie is Roxie Hart in Chicago! (CelebritySmack)

Hillary Winehouse makeover (PrettyOnTheOutside)

The Beautiful People looking…not so much (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Prince Harry’s undercover operation is terminated (DListed)

Britney Spears to join the British army (TheSpoof)

The Croc Widow vs the Croc Papa (PerezHilton)

Pink’s Sapphic sideshow KO’d her marriage (Celebitchy)

The Boozehound Awards (Pajiba)

The littlest Scientologists have names now (EvilBeet)

Karl Lagerfeld’s vampire kisses have no effect on bloodless troll (CircusHour)

Kate Beckinsale is a cunning linguist (Websters)

Victoria’s Secret is out (TheBlemish)

RUN, OWEN WILSON! RUUUUUUUN! (Yeeeeah)

Brad Pitt’s monchichi haircut (CelebWarship)

Katoucha Niane’s body found in the Seine (GabbyBabble)

Pete Doherty doesn’t get out of bed for less than $60,000! (Gawker)

While my ukelele gently weeps (Defamer)

The $110 Hannah Montana Makeover (AgentBedhead)

Pink sez: lay off my ex! (CelebritySmack)

Horse bolted, barn door now locked: Jamie-Lynn Spears is grounded (HollywoodBackwash)

Twenty years ago Marc Jacobs stole something (BackseatCuddler)

PETA’s Worst Dressed Celebrities: they forgot one! (Dlisted)

Kelly Rowland sat on Bjork (TheBastardly)

Jessica Alba’s womb is double occupancy (DailyStab)

Tom Brady markets himself in his underwear (EvilBeet)

The natural beauty of Jocelyn Wildenstein (CircusHour)

What is Mandy Moore’s secret? (ImNotObsessed)

Edison Chen disproves guaranteed stardom of Paris Hilton’s career path (JustJared)

Blake “Incarcerated” Fielder-Civil gets a visit from the missus (PerezHilton)

What Britney will look like in 20 years (Mollygood)

Jessica Simpson is box office gold. No, seriously. (Websters)

Madonna’s kid is a perfect 10! (TeenyManolo)

Rolling Stone drives stake into Britney Spears with unholy hackiography (Defamer)

Britney’s only Goth from the waist down (DailyStab)

Pete Doherty seeks new life as Smackbob Nopants (Gawker)

or maybe the Easter Bunny? (AgentBedhead)

Top 10 reasons to miss Anna Nicole Smith (Jezebel)

Lindsay Lohan goes dark (CelebritySmack)

Amy Winehouse will bring the funk, may bring the crack to the Grammies (TMZ)

We traded the UK Snoop Dogg for Amy (HolyMoly)

Eva Mendez more Disco than Goth, in rehab for coke (LARagMag)

Scott Weiland, Velvet Revolver front man, back in treatment (GenosWorld)

ScarJo and PeCru go pansexual for ex-sexagenarian Woody Allen (Gabsmash)

Goths Celebs of the Day: Demi and Ashton wear all-black to his 30th birthday party (HolyCandy)

Kill me now: Cher and Tom Cruise were lovers? (Dlisted)

Top 5 celebrity Goth chicks (Hi-5)

The Last Supper of Trent Reznor (LolNIN)

Another reason to drink as if you need one (WorkoutMommy)

Mystery man in black (ImNotObsessed)

Brittany Snow joins the Trenchcoat Mafia (DerekHail)

Lost Boy still lost, still blood-sucking (PerezHilton)

Dita von Teese as the Girl Next Door (SkunksBlog)

Kat von D will never tattoo another agent as long as she lives! (Mollygood)

Kirsten “Vampire Chronicles” Dunst vanishes (Celebitchy)

Madonna is immortal. Because plastic can’t die (TheMeatScale)

Sorry, no Angelina Jolie or Avril Lavigne stories today. Haven’t you heard? They’re not Goth.