Ayyyy!

What are you looking at me like that for? I’m just talking about a couple of simple folk recipes.

But soft…what light through yonder window breaks? David Lynch is the East, and David Duchovny is the Sun… (AgentBedhead)

Meg Ryan does not understand why she still has a job (CelebritySmack)

Eva Mendes wants to Manifest Destiny (DailyStab)

It’s crocs, fool. You’ve totally got it coming (CandyKirby)

Dollywood to Hollywood (Defamer)

Dita von Teese somehow sheds her inhibitions (BusyBeeBlogger)

Angelina Jolie’s nose knows she was different when she was 16 (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindsay threw some punches (IBBB)

Delayed Gratification: George Takei married his longtime partner on Sunday (GabbyBabble)

Dear Shannen Doherty, bitch… (CelebuWreck)

Miley Cyrus models church attire for the 21st Century (DListed)

Um, what happened to Ann Hathaway’s hips? (EvilBeet)

Does Islam hate SirSaint Paul McCartney? (CeleBitchy)

McCain says women are sexist (Mollygood)

It’s the last days of summer, so get your patio drinks and girly salads while you can!

Nine Inch Fails (Lolebrity)

50 cent truly worth about that much (AgentBedhead)

Victoria Beckham to make available to fans all that food she doesn’t eat (DailyStab)

Presidential O-Faces (CandyKirby)

Canuck Hayden Christensen takes “American” lessons (JustJared)

Madonna takes her house husband out for a treat (IBBB)

The Curse of Clooney (Mollygood)

The Curse of Jessica (Websters)

Drunk celebrities! (CityRag)

Kanye kant kope (CeleBitchy)

Barbara Walters promises to care for her slaves (DListed)

Tyler Perry, decoded (Defamer)

Dolly Parton to the rescue! (WOWReport)

Rebecca Romijn takes the baby bump for a walk (GabbyBabble)

Americans can now get into Kate Moss’s pants (PopSugar)

Kiefer kant keep sekrets (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Larry Birkhead is not proud (TMZ)

Most generous celebrities (HollywoodBackwash)

Surprisingly, Amy Winehouse does not appear to be improving (Yeeeeah)

Pete Wentz does his David Soul pornalike impression (SeriouslyOMG)

I like to have a Martini
I like three, at most
After three I’m under the table
After four, I’m under the host!
Dorothy Parker

Sienna Miller, superhero! (Lolebrity)

Janet Jackson appears to believe she’s one as well (JustJared)

It’s Pink Shirt Day! (TeenyManolo)

Mischa Mouse debuts as designer (CelebuWreck)

This Brit makes an ass of herself (AgentBedhead)

Congratulations to Miss Tara Reid on her engagement (CelebritySmack)

Congratulations to Miss Samantha Ronson on her engagement (HolyMoly)

Petra Nemcova congratulates Kelly Osbourne on her skirt made entirely of disco shirts (DailyStab)

Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt reunited? (GabbyBabble)

Jessica Alba’s BDSM PSA (EvilBeet)

Harriet Carter lingerie day, yay! (IBBB)

Katy Perry, novelty stripper in a toddler costume (Websters)

Ashton Kutcher on the bathroom habits of the billionaires (POTP)

Is it hot in here or is it just me? (AprilWinchell)

Betsey Johnson is SO STOKED for Talk Like A Pirate Day (GoFugYourself)

La WHA? (CrunkAndDisorderly)

Bears invade LA! (CandyKirby)

The secret history of the Obama pig (Defamer)

Anne Hathaway is no longer a receiver of stolen goods (TheSmokingGun)

When you’ve struck out everywhere else… (SeriouslyOMG)

The Brohawk, in its native environment (Radar)

Bundle the wee ones off to school and relax with a Back to School Martini and some wholesome gossip links.

Steve Jobs is IMMORTAL! (Lolebrity)

The femullet is BACK! (JustJared)

Naomi Campbell is ovulating: everybody PANIC! (BlackCelebrityKids)

Boy’s gone FIRED! (Websters)

David Beckham is MASSIVE! (CeleBitchy)

Has Sarah Palin been PEELED? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Sarah Palin is 100% PLASTIC! (UsMagazine)

Pete Wentz plays Russian Roulette and guess what? We ALL LOSE! (CelebritySmack)

Get into Michael Jackson’s PANTS! (DailyStab)

Megan McCain wants to go to IRAQ! (Mollygood)

Scientology gets SCHOOLED! (AgentBedhead)

Dakota Fanning is BACK! (Defamer)

Sleep with a MORMON! (Gawker)

It’s a Jessica Simpson OMEN! (DListed)

The Banksy World Tour hits Birmingham’s KKK! (Raincoaster)

Lindsay Lohan is REAL! (EvilBeet)

It’s Hugh Grant’s birthday: PARTY! (UKPopsugar)

Blake Lively loves dogs! (lolebrity)

Gary Coleman is white trash? (Defamer)

Dakota Fanning, however, is not (AgentBedhead)

Eva Longoria Parker shills candy (DailyStab)

Bottom feeding on the LA dating scene (CelebritySmack)

Heather Mills is the earthly vessel of the divine principle of Schadenfreude (CeleBitchy)

Torontonian schools whiny busker/Oasis frontman attacked (HolyMoly)

We can’t believe it either, Jessica (PopSugar)

Jennifer Aniston is unbelievably thrilled to see you (ImNotObsessed)

France lays the smackdown on grifting for Xenu (Mollygood)

Smells like tween spirit! (BWE)

Britney Spears cleans up real good at the VMAs (EvilBeet)

This woman’s got her head screwed on wrong (IBBB)

Katy Perry’s stylist goes into production of silk purses (GoFugYourself)

Quote of the day: Katy Perry is nothing but Diablo Cody with an actual stripper’s body, instead of a former stripper’s body (FourFour)

Matt Damon vs Ben Affleck face off! (SeriouslyOMG)

Girls Gone Wild: Disney fake lesbian edition (Websters)

The real father of Bristol Palin’s baby (Radar)

Don’t you have to be a diva to throw a diva fit? (DListed)

Hey, I may be a snob, but I’m a snob who isn’t too proud to take the open bar in whatever twisted form it chooses to manifest in, especially when I’ve been working at an art project all day. Pass the peanuts!

Birth, christening, DNA test, court order: Miss Manners, David Spade on Line One (AgentBedhead)

Who you gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS 3! (DailyStab)

The Women are no Clare Booth Luce! (CelebritySmack)

Meat puppet vs producer:Hollywood Smackdown! (Defamer)

Lily Allen gets into another fight at a party (HolyMoly)

McCain wins the monkey vote (Gawker)

Karl Lagerfeld, wanted man (FakeKarl)

Intern George will solve your life (GoFugYourself)

Frantically clutching husbands: the Olympic event (CandyKirby)

Tommy Lee is pleased about blogger self-abuse! (IBBB)

So will Lilo do PlayGIRL instead? (ImNotObsessed)

Britney puts her meat through the grinder (Mollygood)

Brad Pitt handles the transition from Venice to CENTRE OF THE BLOODY UNIVERSE with grace (JustJared)

Pete Doherty costs me five bucks (SeriouslyOMG)

Perez Hilton is slim, handsome, and still completely ridiculous (Websters)

It’s that kind of day.

The True North, strong and free to look at posters for Kevin Smith films (AgentBedhead)

The VMA’s: from the ridiculous to…the ridiculous (CelebritySmack)

Hilary Swank to swell (DailyStab)

Take a walk down WTF lane with Nicholas Cage (Defamer)

Bai Ling admits her head is just a place to put wigs (CandyKirby)

I’m Bringing PrivacyWatches Back! (IBBB)

That poor horse should fire her agent (UKPopSugar)

So, just how fast DOES Sarah Palin type? (Radar)

Akon’s fans achin’ (SeriouslyOMG)

Miley Cyrus buys herself a pimpmobile (Websters)

William is Hurt-ing for an intervention (CeleBitchy)

Amy Winehouse loves J— D——, who was big in the 80’s (DListed)

That’s why it’s called VICE president, silly! (Bossip)

Yes, I know I’ve used that joke before. What can I say? I’m just stale because I’m out of gin.

Sir Elton John will snort Lily Allen under the table (Websters)

John Mayer’s drunken wish for POTUS (CelebrityDirt)

The US dodged a bullet with this one (GabbyBabble)

Chelsea’s getting an assist from a pornstar Lately (CelebuWreck)

Alexa Ray Joel: It’s Just Fugly to Me (CandyKirby)

Henry Rollins has even creepier penpals than I do! (AgentBedhead)

Dave Letterman can afford to be gracious (CelebritySmack)

It’s Hot Britney, bitch! (CelebWarship)

It’s Britney at the VMA’s again, bitch! (EvilBeet)

Keira Knightly isn’t sarcastic at all! (DailyStab)

Miranda Grosvenor’s blog? (CelebritiesAndTelephones)

Formerly pregnant teen sends pregnant teen a present; it’s not news, it’s US politics (CeleBitchy)

Play the Joker Lookalike Contest! (Defamer)

Jason Priestly has a beard just like John Travolta! (DListed)

Will has grace (ImNotObsessed)

Kate Moss, working girl (Radar)

The Republicans hate Palin (Mollygood)

Mullets for ‘Merica! (CityRag)

Pete Doherty can’t meet his deadlines because… he’s Pete Doherty! (AgentBedhead)

Sarah Palin busted via Myspace (Civixen)

Vanilla Ice shelf still calving (CelebritySmack)

Natalie Portman in Venice (DailyStab)

The Josh Harnett Um Deeply Interpersonal Tape (Defamer)

Lilo speaks on BritPal (MySpace)

Attack of the MIILFia! (CandyKirby)

Jacko and Pamela Anderson dating? (ImNotObsessed)

Anonymous storm Katie Holmes’ performance September 3rd (JustJared)

Poster children for infidelity kinda grumpy (PopSugar)

Vogue India…where the ridiculous meets the sublime (Mollygood)

Donnie Davies: the return! Take My Hand! (YouTube)

Xtina, before and after (Websters)

Sarah Palin is not flat busted (PerezHilton)

Sarah Palin a fitting heir to GWB (Gawker)

The Pivert is a Diva (Celebitchy)

What’s this I hear about a four-day weekend? Outrageous rumours!

Steve Jobs sez: OBITUATE DIFFERENT! (Lolebrity)

The weirdest Japfro you’ll ever see! (CelebuWreck)

Face it: Michael Jackson is 50 (PopEater)

Pamela Anderson is Botox-free (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Caligula’s horse speaks! (DailyMail)

Tricia Yearwood has instant karma (CelebrityDirt)

When Canadians Attack! Jessica Simpson! (Websters)

The Mandala of Madge’s vadge (CityRag)

Ewan McGregor and Jim Carrey sitting in a tree… (AgentBedhead)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Ewan McGregor vs Gavin Rossdale (TeenyManolo)

The Hillary kerfuffle (disembedded)

Obama’s acceptance speech (FoodPlusPolitics)

Jesus appears on an insect! (Membracid)

David Beckham is afraid of turning into Homer Simpson (CeleBitchy)

The 12-step recovery plan for David Duchovny (BestWeekEver)

Aaron Sorkin will Friend you (Valleywag)

The Collected Facebook Status Updates of Aaron Sorkin (Vulture)

Madonna goes Howard Hughes on us (SeriouslyOMG)

Singer’s uncle off to Sing-Sing (ICYDK)

I will NOT use the headline “Sarah Palin tapped by McCain”!!! (CitizenSugar)

Lindsay Lohan takes a shot at the gold medal (HolyMoly)

Carrie Underwood might have to settle for silver (DailyStab)

Jeremy Piven can’t keep a civil tongue in his head (ImNotObsessed)

No, he really can’t: the collected rants of Jeremy Piven (Defamer)

Blind Item Roundup! (Gawker)

Solange Knowles bans the Big B (CelebritySmack)

The Broony Bromance (CandyKirby)

Shia LaBruised recovers from cougar attack (Defamer)

Golden Girl, you are not so Golden (BusyBee)

The first rule of Aloe Vera Club is… (AgentBedhead)

The Hoff is an EMPEROR! (CeleBitchy)

Kelly Osbourne has a black eye (CelebritySmack)

Your Daily Kiefer (DailyStab)(Sigh)

Tequila: Lost, but not forgotten (Defamer)

How can we be lovers if we can’t be Nicolette Sheridan Friends (DListed)

Britney spends time with her tots (GabbyBabble)

Top 10 Beauties (CandyKirby)

Ben Affleck is outward bound (PopSugar)

The political also-ran catfight. What the hell: there isn’t anything else on. (CNN)

Madonna knos how 2 whistle (Lolebrity)

Pete “999″ Doherty saves the day! (AgentBedhead)

Kylie Minogue is legion! (CelebritySmack)

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are canine collectivists (DailyStab)

Viggo Mortensen will outnumber his Oscar competition (Defamer)

Obama’s celebrity Cabinet (Gawker)

Britney Spears gets a job! (CandyKirby)

Lindsay Lohan’s epiphany caught on camera (IBBB)

Princess Diana dug up and made to promote Keira Knightly film (ImNotObsessed)

Paula extends mixed welcome to new Politburo member (POTP)

Roberto Cavalli shares his clothes out to the Miley/Marcia collective (JustJared)

Matthew McConaughey believes in an equal division of labour (PopSugar)

Pornstar hooked on opiate of the masses? (DListed)

Canuckistanis cannot be killed! (Mollygood)

Madonna redistributes capital (Websters)

Put a lid on it! (CityRag)

Dancing with the Stars work group forms (SeriouslyOMG)

London’s mayor now wanted by Beijing … dead or alive! (raincoaster)