Ayyyy!

Meet Your Master: New Nine Inch Nails single free for download tonight (TheRadReport)

Katie Holmes vs Victoria Beckham: pretty hate machines (Defamer)

Every day, every one, is exactly the same to Karl Lagerfeld (Gawker)

With teeth: Hillary Duff’s veneers (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Why does James Frey get all the love in the literary world? (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend is something Ashley Olsen can never have (CelebritySmack)

That’s what Richie Sambora gets (for driving drunk) (CelebrityDirt)

You know what you are, Paris Hilton? (CelebWarship)

The line begins to blur: Pulp Fiction, by William Shakespeare  (Metaquotes)

Help me, I am in fashion hell (CandyKirby)

Happiness in slavery available to Ashton Kutcher at my house any time! (DailyStab)

Sanctified: yes, Beyonce and Jay-Z are married (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman down in it, not quite down with it (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jessica Simpson’s ringfinger/finger ringer? (IBBB)

Guns ‘n Roses’ terrible (eternal) lie (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Connor Cruise doesn’t bite the hand that feeds (JustJared)

Head has, like, a hole: The Hoff has eye surgery (HolyMoly)

The Hoff hassled to the tune of $25,000 per month Hasselmony (USAToday)

Vince Vaughn is the Flabby Flasher of Griffith Park (CelebSlam)

Akon guilty of criminal assault on the truth with intent to blow smoke up your ass (AgentBedhead)

Hollywood selling out (no, that’s not a tautology) (Derober)

The jailbird diaries of Pete Doherty (HolyMoly)

Britney’s Total Fitness? Somewhere between couch potato and Basset Hound (TheBlemish)

America’s Next Top Flight Attendant? (IBBB)

Gossip Wars: attack of the necroporn pimps! (Defamer)

Who is this “Dalai Lama” of whom you speak? (Gawker)

Scientology vs the Little Guy, round N+1 (XenuTV)

Naomi Campbell shuts barn door, gazes wistfully after horse (CelebritySmack)

Get M-K O’s look! Then, presumably, get much-needed corrective lenses (CircusHour)

Ashlee Simpson just isn’t worth it (DListed)

Cameron Diaz issues statement about the death of her father (CeleBitchy)

Johnny Depp will never work with Renee Zellweger again as long as he lives (DailyStab)

Blake, Incarcerated, Forgotten (TheSun)

Scarface (GabbyBabble)

Putin’s poontang  (BittenAndBound)

Victoria Beckham’s Pink Taco is 34? (JustJared)

Robert Downey Jr is a cunning linguist (Jossip)

Amy Winehouse doesn’t have a leg to stand on, almost (WendyWayrad)

NKOTB are miracle workers! (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan parties with fellow leggings abuser (DailyStab)

Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest’s Tryst night (DListed)

Ellen Page (1 nomination, 0 Oscars) severely disses Jane Fonda (6 nominations, 2 Oscars) (Defamer)

Courtney Love’s purse pharmacy (Yeeeeah)

Jeri Ryan Seacrest, Pamela Anderson Cooper, and Boy George Bush (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Disney Superstar goes naked Down Under (CircusHour)

74 reasons to hate TMZ (Gawker)

More than you needed to know about Roseanne Barr’s ladyparts (CelebritySmack)

Doogie Howser hates Britney Spears (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jamie-Lynn Spears hurt in drunken brawl (CeleBitchy)

Gangland rumbles reach new low: nursery school (Bossip)

Aging Canadian surgical curiosity and sex cougar invited to White House (ICYDK)

Simon Cowell haunts Maternity wards to bathe his skin in life-giving placenta (HollywoodRag)

Halle Berry is a golf fanatic? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Your dose of downer: Celebrity incomes (HuffPo)

Posh Spice and the Adams family (JustJared)

The Office is TV with a heart? (Defamer)

Barack in drag! (Gawker)

Liveblogging Battlestar Galactica premiere (io9)

Sonny Bono died for your sins (AgentBedhead)

Perez Hilton is a big, fat truth-teller? (PerezHilton)

Elvis lives! (WebstersIsMyBitch)

YOU don’t know medical marijuana! TOM CRUISE DOES! (Celebitchy)

Snoop Dogg has apparently been sampling the Tom Cruise Purple (Bossip)

Ben Affleck rear-ended! (DailyStab)

Everything Matt Damon knows he learned from his mom (Popsugar)

Dress your children in Uggs and belly shirts (CircusHour)

LOST love re-discovered (FemaleFirst)

Hollywood’s gropiest! (Starpulse)

Royals a-go-go at Mahiki (Lainey)

After all this, they’d BETTER be getting married (ASocialitesLife)

Keanu brings the fierce, Minnie Driver brings the funbags (ImNotObsessed)

Fug-off championship round (GoFugYourself)

Chosen One martyred! (Star)

Mariah Carey may have slightly diva-iss tendencies. Who knew? (DListed)

What hath JLo spawned? (Gawker)

Angelina’s big baby figure (Defamer)

Bats are full of protein and great for your hair (TressedOutCelebs)

America’s Next Top Recap (I’mBringingBloggingBack)

Celebrity syntho-schnozzes (Cityrag)

The sliding scale of celebrity integrity (AgentBedhead)

Spitzer’s other hooker (Celebitchy)

One more reason to love Johnny Depp (ImNotObsessed)

Is this Hillary Clinton’s greatest speech ev-ar? (Dlisted)

At LAST! A picture of Nicole Kidman looking bottom-heavy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Beyonce’s little sister launches a hip-hop toy company (BlackCelebrityKids)

But…but…Madonna is not biodegradable! (JustJared)

What Amy Winehouse will look like in a month (CelebrityDirt)

Stick Insect vs the Prince of Darkness (CelebritySmack)

Introducing the Paris Hilton Clodhopper Pony (CircusHour)

Jack Nicholson’s topless photos (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Scariest celebrity faces: a surgeon’s opinion (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The Butterscotch Stallion cannot outrun the consequences of his hotness (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse possessed by demons! (AgentBedhead)

The many faces of Tracey Ullman (Popbytes)

A day in the life of batshiat Britney (Celebitchy)

Nicole Kidman is not nocturnal, nor is she possessed of leathery wings? (WWTDD)

She is, however, visibly different from 20th Century Nicole Kidman (TressedOutCelebs)

Kanye’s girfriend decides he’s still too annoying to marry (Bossip)

Charlie Sheen to appear in his underwear? (ICYDK)

Amy Winehouse is Amy Winehouse’s Dad’s fault (HollywoodRag)

James Gandolfini hospitalized (CelebritySmack)

John Mayer is a pillhead (AllieIsWired)

Celebrity sex dolls (Radar)

Top ten fake celebrity blogs (Gawker)

Posh and Becks are leaving us because we just don’t love them enough. Kidding! (Mollygood)

George Clooney in Darfur (Popsugar)

One we could live without (DailyStab)

Has Sheryl Crow gone Scientologist? (PerezHilton)

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden buy a NYC condo (ImNotObsessed)

Iggy Pop knows you want him (GoFugYourself)

One makes genuine shopping trips to Paris, the other stages shopping photo-ops with Paris.

What a sorry state of affairs! What has the world come to when Victoria Beckham has run out of new clothes and resorts to slavishly imitating the style of a lesser-known celebrity:

Victoria Beckham has committed the ultimate celebrity fashion crime - brazenly stealing another star’s look.

Posh Spice spent Friday night rubbing shoulders with Cruel Intentions star Selma Blair, who wore a striking black and silver confection, at a Marc Jacobs catwalk show in New York.

And if imitation really is the sincerest form of flattery, then the actress was surely delighted that just two days later, Posh was spotted at a party at the Maritime Hotel in exactly the same frock.

Somehow I think Selma is in a lot of pain right now. One can only imagine the horrible scene, realisation dawning on Selma’s frightened and pale face, as the covetous monster beside her ominously sharpens its nails against its stony palms in preparation for a voiceless and savage attack that will leave Selma a mangled mess but the dress beautifully intact.

Support Orama! (Orama08)

Rehabilitate ‘08! (Derober)

Puppy Bowl! (WithMalice)

Uneasy Riders: Brad Pitt vs Tom Cruise (Defamer)

Canadian celebrity gossip blogging smackdown! (Gawker)

Sam Lufti is no René Angelil! (Jezebel)

Smells like…Holy Spirit! (MoonbeamMcqueen)

What’s new for Old Spice Girls (AgentBedhead)

Tom Jones insures his chestrug for seven mill (CelebritySmack)

Angelina Jolie was sperminated the old-fashioned way (Celebitchy)

Nicole Richie’s big win over Christina Aguilera (Gabsmash)

TomKat’s latest project (HolyCandy)

Halle Berry’s babydaddy is prettier than you, her (DailyStab)

John Mayer rocks the Borat nutsack bathing suit (WeLoveCelebs)

Lindsay Lohan’s loose lips (HollywoodBackwash)

Viggo’s (fashion) Promises (GoFugYourself)

Milo Ventimiglia is not amused (ImNotObsessed)

No need to panic, puny humans. We have come not to invade your host bodies but to observe your latest “out of this world” fashion creations.

What may be haute couture to you feeble earthlings is, to us, merely casual wear for lounging around the Alpha Centauri star system.

Woody Allen kills himbos’ careers stone dead! (AgentBedhead)

Angelina Jolie makes up with Jon Voight (CeleBitchy)

Tom Cruise, failed babydaddy (ContactMusic)

Natalie Portman is the vegan Louboutin! (CelebritySmack)

Britney’s New Year’s miracle! (Dlisted)

Johnny Depp is richer than a pirate (DailyStab)

Harry Potter and the Bar Mitzvah of Secrecy (Defamer)

Lindsay Lohan’s Champagne wishes become Champagne reality (TMZ)

Late night tv goes mano-a-mano-a-mano-a-Jimmy Kimmel (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Smells like … Becks! (EvilBeet)

Lindsay Lohan, platinum panhandler (Mollygood)

Get into Gary Coleman’s pants! (ICYDK)

Mena Suvari debuts a bowl cut (ImNotObsessed)

Carrie Underwood bows to the power of sequins (GoFugYourself)

Reese Witherspoon demonstrates impeccable taste again (HolyCandy)

Kiefer Sutherland 2.0? (PerezHilton)

Hunk Jackman and his kids at the park (TheMeatScale)

Blogger posts from beyond the grave! (Gawker)

Free the Bud movement achieves victory! (WOWReport)

Kate Moss’s New Years Doherty drama! (ShowbizSpy)

Dane Cook, Marathon Man! (WendyWayrad)

Britney Spears dumped again! (GabbyBabble)

Jamie-Lynn Spears almost loses her talking point! (Popcrunch)

The Spears Family’s gift to parenting! (Radar)

Lindsay Lohan loves the moobs! (TheMeatScale)

Kabuki Spice and David Baldham! (ASocialitesLife)

Katherine Heigl’s wedding photos! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Kate Moss is big in Japan! (PopSugar)

Beyonce beats Kanye East, West, North and South! (PerezHilton)

Public donations of the rich and famous! (Mollygood)

Beauty queen mugshot makes all of us feel a little better about ourselves! (Dlisted)

Jessica Simpson is making a country comeback! (ImNotObsessed)

Kim Kardashian puts the ass in klass! (HolyCandy)

Katie Holmes and Christina Aguilera will be working moms soon! (DailyStab)

Lily Allen’s spermination turned her into Audrey Hepburn! (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse has a prison date this Friday! (CelebritySmack)