Yes, GWAR guitarist Flattus Maximus (also known as Cory Smoot) has left the planet. When not Christmas Caroling with his heavy metal bandmates, Flattus was one of the most respected musicians ever to wear latex Triceratops epaulets, and his loss will be felt by many, particularly those who’ve always been after his job.
Normally, I have a bit of a crush on Asher Levine’s superhero-worthy collections, particularly the footwear, which epitomizes Fierce.
Asher Levine street superhero look
And for the not-so-tender tootsies:
Asher Levine boot for all your ass kicking needs
but occasionally even the most brilliant and beloved of designers has That Moment. You know, That Moment of Inspiration where he suddenly sees something truly new, unique, daring…and someone should have leaned over and whispered “No.”
And That Moment when you think it’s a good idea to festoon the torso with an intricate filigree of intestines? That, my friend, IS That Moment.
The Royal Wedding entrance like none other. My shameful past as a Prince Andrew fangirl with full-on subscriptions to Majesty AND The Royals comes out as I say the Princess Ann and Camilla lookalikes are really startlingly good, but the emo cynic within me comes out when I note that even the fake Prince Harry has way more fun than the fake Prince William, who has way more fun than either of the real ones.
Now, let’s toast these glorious ersatzii with (what else?) a Buck’s Fizz and some common gossip links.
Resisting tradition, fighting conformity and disregarding aromatic conventions it leaves a fresh, restless bite of lemon, sharpened and intensified by a defiant black pepper. Electrified by aldehydes, the fragrance exudes pure energy, pared down and pumped up by leather, shot through with heliotrope and brought back down to earth by a raunchy patchouli.
As well as a strong scent, the bottle also makes a bold impression, with its iconic graphic inspired by the front cover of the single ‘God Save the Queen’ released in 1977.
Pity, if you will (if you can) the girls past and present of Sir Mick Jagger. For every one that becomes First Lady of France, there’s one that’s gone the publicly humiliating L’Wren Scott/ Georgina Chapman route and foisted a line of unsuitable, unflattering,ill-fitting duds on an unsuspecting public, like this poor, clueless member of the public right here. If I were Julia Roberts and I had to appear in public in that, I, too, would be tempted to bash out my brains right there, center stage.
I don’t honestly think we’ve had Trent before, so here is the lovely Nine Inch Nails founder in all his post-heroinal, pre-steroidal glory from a few years back. He’s so thick and beefy lately that he’s got double chins behind his ears. Not. A. Good. Look.
Instead of toasting this with the obvious choice of a protein shake, I suggest a nice goblet of Mansinthe: sure, Absinthe tastes appalling, but it sets the goth/emo tone and whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Aw, shaddap and write a poem about the taste of wormwood, whydoncha?
I don’t CARE! I like him anyway: he purty. I propose a toast to Ben Affleck’s enduring aethetic appeal, and to make that toast we shall raise a glass of this newfangled Brewmaster’s Black Lager from Okanagan Springs that I just tasted today, as I was being interviewed for a podcast in the back room of a pub, which is generally the way I like to be interviewed if it can’t be on the deck of my shiny new yacht or the terrace of my beach villa in Costa Rica. Yes, black lager; that is what I call affirmative action, and I intend to affirm it as frequently as my diet will allow. This has been an un-paid-for plug inspired by Ben Affleck’s hawtness. You may now return to your regular gossip links.
Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Mr. Manolo Blahnik. This website is not affiliated in any way with Mr. Manolo Blahnik, any products bearing the federally registered trademarks MANOlO®, BlAHNIK® or MANOlO BlAHNIK®, or any licensee of said federally registered trademarks. The views expressed on this website are solely those of the author.