Ayyyy!

Oh, go on! Hit him!

Team Sandy! Sandra Bullock blindsided by Fate? (True/Slant)

Dirtiest leprechaun joke EV-AR (Lolebrity)

Jesse James apologizes (CelebritySmack)

So porn is good for you now? (PornstarBabylon)

Hobbit is handsy (AgentBedhead)

Ke$ha has actual power? (AmyGrindhouse)

Sandra Bullock is outtahere! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Boy George can verify Lady Gaga is wangless (AllieIsWired)

Well, she IS an actress! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Kate Winslet’s marriage RIP (LaughingStork)

Alec Baldwin is in fine form (CeleBitchy)

Winnie Cooper is knocked up (DailyStab)

Get sexy texts from Tiger! (Gawker)

Twilightweight! (DListed)

RIP Fess Parker (EOnline)

Corey blogs Corey (EvilBeet)

Miley Cyrus pulls a Cher (GabbyBabble)

Meanwhile, Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning are still together (HaveUHeard)

Sandra Bullock put a ring on it, and it’s staying (INeedMyFix)

Paging Jerry Springer! (IBBB)

Reese Witherspoon stars as…a blogger??? (JustJared)

Heidi Ho! (LitelySalted)

But she’ll always have Gene Kelly (Movieline)

Robert Pattinson will always have London (UKPopSugar)

Flashforward Back! (SeriouslyOMG)

Kellan Lutz has a trick! (TenGossip)

Two thumbs up Reese, this jolly gelatinous mass is a vast improvement on that Gyllenhaal boy! I think it’s adorable that he gave up his gym membership in order to spend more time with you.

No, I’m not drinking it. I’m just promoting it for a good cause. One must enter into the spirit of things, as it were!

Dora, the Gender Stereotype Explorer (AgentBedhead)

Chris Brown does not understand the meaning of “misdemeanor” (AmyGrindhouse)

Hayden Pannettiere doesn’t know what she does for a living (CandyKirby)

Britney Spears’s uterus makes a break for it (CelebWarship)

Forgive me, Xenu, for I have sinned (CeleBitchy)

Give me your tired, your poor, but not your Amy Winehouse (AllieIsWired)

Donald Trump talks sense? (CelebritySmack)

The LA Kings are truly desperate (CelebuWreck)

Drew Barrymore’s new job: Kate Moss impersonator (DListed)

Jimmy Kimmel is not f*cking Sarah Silverman (EvilBeet)

Matt Damon, centurion (GabbyBabble)

Reese Witherspoon deliberately upstages costar (JustJared)

The Princes of Hearts at large (UKPopSugar)

Betty White is Always Prepared (SeriouslyOMG)

as if Travis Barker doesn’t have enough problems (Websters)

The best Peaches Geldof beatdown you’ll read all damn day (HolyMoly)

It was the 150th anniversary of the birth of the gin and tonic yesterday. Whatever shall we do to celebrate, hmmmmm?

A new Christmas classic (CandyKirby)

The great cultural classic of our time, celebrated (AgentBedhead)

And a new cultural classic is born (CelebritySmack)

Cougars: another timeless classic (CeleBitchy)

Obama Montana to be a new classic? (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Decolletage never grows old (CelebWarship)

or I could be wrong about that… (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Ebony and Ivory, some classic pianoforte (AprilWinchell)

Revenge is a dish best served on the cover of Vogue (DailyStab)

Hollywood heathens (Defamer)

Polka dots by Commes des Garçons (FakeKarl)

Beards are always classic (GoFugYourself)

Drop dead Reese Witherspoon (JustJared)

Harriet Carter classics (IBBB)

In the classic game of celebrity dating tennis, the score is always love all (UKPopSugar)

Celebrities! On! Toast! (Mollygood)

Madonna knos how 2 whistle (Lolebrity)

Pete “999″ Doherty saves the day! (AgentBedhead)

Kylie Minogue is legion! (CelebritySmack)

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are canine collectivists (DailyStab)

Viggo Mortensen will outnumber his Oscar competition (Defamer)

Obama’s celebrity Cabinet (Gawker)

Britney Spears gets a job! (CandyKirby)

Lindsay Lohan’s epiphany caught on camera (IBBB)

Princess Diana dug up and made to promote Keira Knightly film (ImNotObsessed)

Paula extends mixed welcome to new Politburo member (POTP)

Roberto Cavalli shares his clothes out to the Miley/Marcia collective (JustJared)

Matthew McConaughey believes in an equal division of labour (PopSugar)

Pornstar hooked on opiate of the masses? (DListed)

Canuckistanis cannot be killed! (Mollygood)

Madonna redistributes capital (Websters)

Put a lid on it! (CityRag)

Dancing with the Stars work group forms (SeriouslyOMG)

London’s mayor now wanted by Beijing … dead or alive! (raincoaster)

Good one Ryan, when Reese sees this surely she will weep bitter tears of regret at divorcing your beefy broad-shouldered self, and pine longingly for the supreme tautness of those man abs.  Or perhaps not.

Matt Damon ar Canoodlian? (Lolebrity)

Brit Naomi Campbell represents Africa (AgentBedhead)

Mary-Kate Olsen brings, wears, the kimono and kiltie-based Wackness (CelebritySmack)

Brangelina donates $1million to help children of war (Websters)

Amy Winehouse downsizes the party (DListed)

Sigourney in space? (DailyStab)

Ben Affleck talks about the Congo (ImNotObsessed)

Barack Obama loses the bimbo vote! (CandyKirby)

Cruise Beckham (CelebDirtyLaundry)

GyllenSpooning (JustJared)

Five dumbest reality show gimmicks (Mollygood)

Gayest movie robots (Radar)

Prince Harry, rump roast inspector (UKPopsugar)

Mario Lopez ChestHairGate! (Defamer)

Tim McGraw boots an attacker (CeleBitchy)

I didn’t know Ashanti was in Ice Capades (GoFugYourself)

Oprah’s is the biggest I’ve ever seen! (CrunkAndDisorderly)

Kanye’s mother’s Doctor Death no longer Doctor, DUI’d for good measure (PerezHilton)

Well, what do you know? You CAN be too thin! (ParkAvenuePeerage)

As Hollywood’s highest paid actress, Reese Witherspoon can afford to demand that her onscreen loving be as chaste as her offscreen romance with Jake Gyllenhaal:

It’s been widely reported that Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn can’t stop butting heads on the set of Four Christmases but apparently it was a scene where they’re supposed to bump uglies that really has Reese hot and bothered — but for all the wrong reasons. “Reese has an issue with the scripted love scene,” an on-set source tells PageSix.com. The sex scene is written as a funny, American Pie-style romp, but “Reese is such a prude, she thinks it’s just too much,” the insider adds.

American Pie wasn’t funny at all! It was dark and scary and Kevin Spacey got his brain shot to pieces…oh hang on. Anyway the point is Reese is very particular about what she does in front of the camera.  Especially since that one unfortunate instance of unintentionally inappropriate body language that was captured for posterity and stories like this.